except his includes the word "minus".
Today marks the five year anniversary of this site. Five years ago today, I sat down and wrote a few quick paragraphs about the previous night's Leaf game, and gave it the creative title "Leafs 4, Habs 2". The post doesn't bear much resemblance to what you usually find on the site these days, although it did include a Kyle Wellwood fat joke and a reference to terrible Leafs goaltending.
Over the next few months I wrote a variety of posts, most of them attempts at serious analysis. My audience consisted of roughly seven people. Eventually those seven people held an intervention and told me "Dude, enough complaining about the Mats Sundin up, lighten up", and so I did.
In the years since, the site has grown, I've had a chance to do some pretty neat things (have I ever mentioned the book? I have? OK, just checking), and I still haven't got over the Mats Sundin thing. To mark the anniversary, here are some five-packs from the first half decade of Down Goes Brown.Five posts from the site's first few months that, in hindsight, weren't completely terrible.
- Russ Courtnall for John Kordic was a good trade - Five years later, I still don't think I've ever convinced anyone. But I'm still right, and you're all still wrong.
- Great Obscure Moments in Leafs History - Nikolai Borschevsky's post-game interview with Ron MacLean - Un-bee-leeb-abba.
- How to fight when you don't want to fight - Be sure to click on all the YouTube links to see if any of them still work. (They don't.)
- Ottawa Senators traditions - Senator fans didn't seem to like this one. You just can't please those people.
- If MLSE made their own beer - I think this may have been the post where I learned to abandon the use of actual structure and love the bullet point.
- A breakdown of the Leeman vs. Savard fight - aka "The post where we found a young Chris Durno"
- 2011 NHL draft winners and losers - aka "The one where Mike from Philadelphia didn't get the joke and became a legend"
- A fan's guide to booing - aka "The one where we all decide to boo Mattias Ritola, and then a few weeks later he lit up the Leafs and everyone yelled at me"
- A detailed look back at game seven of the 2011 Stanley Cup finals, which due to a scheduling error had to be published twelve hours early - This one was really funny for like eight hours. You kind of had to be there.
- The suspension flowchart - This one is my "Freebird", in the sense that when I'm coasting through a pathetic old-timer blog tours in 30 years, I'll have to save it to the end so that everyone doesn't leave.
- The NHL's suspension flowchart - Dammit, Pronger.
- Gary Bettman's Halloween party - Ahoy, me matey!
- The NHL's standard test for diagnosing concussions - What's the last thing you remember thinking before you were injured?
- The other former players who interviewed for Colin Campbell's job - Chris Pronger meets Wendel Clark.
- Chris Pronger's other jerk moves - It's not just the random violence.
- The official map on an NHL rink - It was depressing to find out how many of today's fans don't know what the trolley tracks are.
- The Toronto Maple Leafs facebook feed - This one ends with a joke about all the great players the Leafs would be acquiring soon. It's funny because it's true, only the exact opposite.
- Gary Bettman's hacked gmail account - I'd just like to point out that this was before every single person in the sports world had a "hacked gmail" post on a site somewhere.
- Other Toronto Maple Leafs training camp letters - I like ballons!
- Other NHL player "thank you" ads - Do you know how hard it is to find a decent photo of Mark Messier in a Canucks uniform?
- The Brian Burke twitter account - "If someone’s going to try and impersonate Brian Burke, I’m going to sue his ass." (He didn't.)
- Leafs GM Cliff Fletcher talks trade with Ducks GM Brian Burke - All completely innocent, of course.
- Brian Burke's letter to the other 29 GMs about Tomas Kaberle - I'm disappointed that "Rosey McUnibrow" never really stuck.
- The Team USA Olympic orientation camp - With special guest Ron Wilson.
- Brian Burke mic'd at the 2009 draft - What TSN didn't show you.
- The Olympic Welcome Song - Team Canada wants everyone to know what was coming next.
- Felt Like '93 - Our tribute to the Habs inspiring 2010 playoff run.
- Welcome To Loser City - A couple of ex-Leafs help Jarome Iginla feel at home.
- Scored In My Own Net - Big Game Chris drops some knowledge.
- Reimer - We are so, so sorry about this one.
- You know what, I don't even care any more. (Drinks heavily.)
- I care so much. (Sobs into pillow until dawn.)
- The Leafs/Kings liveblog from 1993 - That game.
- The all-time worst Maple Leafs - Pre-Komisarek edition.
- Is this the worst it's ever been? - Leaf fans keep asking me to update this, because Leaf fans enjoy being sad.
- The definitive guide to the All Heart video - At least it's not all bad. (Watches video on fullscreen auto-loop for the rest of the weekend.)
- Dear son, welcome to life as a Leafs fan - My all-time favorite post.
Anyway, you get the idea. I've had a ton of fun doing this stuff, and I hope you've found at least a few posts that were worth your while.
At this point I can honestly say that I really have no idea what the future holds for this site. But whether you're one of those original seven readers or somebody who just found it recently, you have my sincere thanks for reading.