Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The official map of an NHL rink

NHL fans learned something new this week when Colin Campbell revealed the existence of a "hitting zone" behind the net where, apparently, headshots are legal.

This got me to wondering: what else don't we know about the NHL rink? So I dug into my old cartography library, and came up with this original map that lays it all out:


It all makes sense now...




26 comments:

  1. Very funny, as usual. Keep up the good work!

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  2. Highly enjoyable and original! Arrrr..

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  3. I had a suggestion for my buddy that goes to hockey games - what about squaring off the corners, so the arena is just a box like most other sports (football, NBA, etc). That would be the "abandon hope all ye who enter". Love the cave of the 4 blind trolls - very creative!

    and if I may ask, what are trolley tracks? Don't think I have seen that before!

    Pardon me - I'm just an ignorant hockey fan from the south...

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    1. It's called the trolley tracks cuz thats where the worst collisions with your head down happen and ppl just get fucked up there.

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  4. ROFL, holy shit... wow.

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  5. Fantastic. I believe the "trolley tracks" are an homage to guys like Stevens that stand up at the blueline and freight-train incoming forwards caught with their head down.

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  6. ...and then you go and redeem yourself.

    Awesome.

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  7. the cave of the four blind trolls... thats a win!
    when did the nhl demolish gretzky's office? and then they replaced it with "the hitting zone?" i thought "the hitting zone" was 5 feet in any direction around denis potvins wife?

    ~ go rangers!!

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  8. Chara pass. Here be Prongers. Classic.
    Trolley tracks is lost on me though, I must be gettin' senile in my 45th year of NHL fanaticism.
    Keep it up, great blog.

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  9. Good stuff LOL. Ding ding. Don't get caught in the trolley tracks!!

    LETS GO BLUES!

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  10. The "trolley tracks" are, I think, a Don Cherry creation. It refers to players who cross the blue line and then try to cut across the middle. They're in the trolley tracks, and they usually get KO'd be a defenceman coming across.

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  11. Honestly, I thought the corners were where Kessel wouldn't go and the defensive side of the red line would belong to Semin.

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  12. http://i.imgur.com/8AKYu.png

    ^ This one's better.

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  13. Wait, where's the Matt Cooke zone? I was under the impression that it was somewhere near the Octupus zone...

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  14. Full-size version of the one Mr. Anonymous linked above: http://sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=NHL_Rink

    Well done on the more current one, DGB.

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  15. Remember kids, when you go into the trolley tracks, KEEP YER HEAD UP!
    WANGO, WANGO, WANGO!

    The difference between DGB "A Leafs Blog" and DGB "A Hockey Blog?" The latter readership doesn't get the trolley tracks reference.

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  16. This was, as usual, fucking brilliant. Obviously, I had to print it out and post it on the wall in my cubicle so that all who pass may fall on the floor laughing. Literally the ONLY thing I don't love about your blog is that you don't post every day, but it's possible that may be somewhat selfish of me.

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  17. ...Anonymous said...
    the cave of the four blind trolls... thats a win!
    when did the nhl demolish gretzky's office? and then they replaced it with "the hitting zone?" i thought "the hitting zone" was 5 feet in any direction around denis potvins wife?

    ~ go rangers!!

    APRIL 20, 2011 9:43 AM


    Would that be a major or minor?
    Or is it ignored by Campbell and the league do to anyone who would be married to Potvin deserves it?
    Closed fist, open hand, head shot....wheel of punishment turn, turn, turn,
    tell us the punishment that Colin believes you deserve.
    Potvin (and the Rangers) SUCK!

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  18. Only thing that's missing is an X (naturally) to mark the golden spot in goal. Preferably a high glove-side X for Luongo, but I don't really know how you'd show that diagrammatically.

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  19. Isn't the trolley line about where the blueline used to be?

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  20. i say it every few months or so but it bears repeating; you are easily the funniest hockey related thing on the planet. thank you for being awesome.

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  21. I don't think this is very funny. Sorry to everyone who disagrees with me, but I just don't. Usually I love your posts, but this one was a disappointment.

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  22. seriously? how can you not laugh at "Thunderdome", that's pure gold. so is "composite stick graveyard" and "cave of the four blind trolls". the whole post is brilliant.

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  23. That's pretty funny - definitely some punishing zones on the ice.

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  24. Haha!! That is funny and very clever
    Visit http://hockeystickcritique.wordpress.com/ for hockey stick reviews

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