Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Habs eulogy, with full "Felt like 93" lyrics

After several false starts, rewrites, and accusations of being cursed, the Habs eulogy is live at Puck Daddy. You can head over and read it there now.

Included in the post is the latest Bloge Salming masterpiece, "Felt Like '93". You can watch it below, along with the full lyrics. (But go watch the original first if you've never seen it.)




Felt Like '93 - The lyrics

I believed it was meant to be
And it felt a little bit like 93
With flailing hands we held them high
But then the Flyers came along and they made us cry
We used to talk about Stanley Cups
But now the conference finals is good enough
So if we just won a game in the second round
Then let's burn this city right to the ground

Here's a rap from the rubble of Montreal
Where we used to expect that we'd win it all
The cigars got lit and the champagne flowed
But I guess you could say that was a long time ago

These days the forum ghosts have got pretty quiet
So when we win a round then it's time to riot
I thought we used to brag about 24?
Guess it don't take as much to impress us anymore

"Because we were the eight seed, that's the reason."
Well, yeah, because we sucked for most of the season
From October through March it was losing streaks
But then we got hot for three whole weeks.

Now we're all in love with Jaroslav Halak
Going to pay big dollars now to bring him back
But you're a Hab for life, bro, we got your back
Of course we said the same thing to Georges Laraque

You have one bad game and when you leave the ice
You're going to hear us chanting loud for Carey Price
But don't blame us it's just how we roll
We can be a little tough on the guys in goal

We might be hard to please but now we're rubbin'
One or two out to PK Subban
We know that his defence can be pretty bad
But he's still the best prospect we've ever had

You see we don't draft guys who can help win games
But we do draft guys who have got french names
And that's why this year will always make us smile
Cause we're not getting this close again for a while.

I believed it was meant to be
But instead we got sent home in round three
Our flailing hands are held up high
While the cop sprays pepper spray in our eyes
We used to talk about Stanley Cups
But now the conference finals is good enough
So if we just won a game in the second round
Then let's burn this city right to the ground

So here's a little shout out from around the league
From the fans out there of the other teams
Let's raise a glass and send up a call
And make sure they can hear us out in Montreal

This is for the Habs fans with the attitude
For the guys getting drunk and acting rude
For the US anthems that you booed
For the tiny little hot dogs you call food

For the fans who act like they think they're better
For making our school kids read The Sweater
For the pomp and the hype and the made up curses
For the punched out linesmen and the stolen purses

For the nightly pre-game banner raisings
For the nightly post-game frat boy tasings
For the loudmouth fans and their ole oles
For the loser rubbing shoe polish on his face

For the centennial and for your barber poles
For your ghosts and your luck and your waived off goals
For the dives and the faking that made us sick
For Too Many Men, and for McSorley's stick

For the non-stop talk about 24
For the knowledge that you're never going to win one more
For the broken windows and the burnt out cabs
Shout it one more time y'all, [bleep] the Habs

I believed it was meant to be
But our forwards look a little like five-foot-three
So let's find some old guy
And raise another number up to the sky
We used to talk about Stanley Cups
But now the conference finals is good enough
So if we just won a game in the second round
Then let's burn this city right to the ground

I believed it was meant to be
But instead we got a Puck Daddy eulogy
So let's watch the police helicopter in the sky
And party on the streets and try not to die.
We used to talk about Stanley Cups
But now the conference finals is good enough
So if we just won a game in the second round
Then let's burn this city right to the ground

Visit Bloge Salming to download the MP3.




44 comments:

  1. I am speechless. I am without speech.

    Thanks, you crazy bastards.

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  2. This needs to replace 'Free to Be' at Leaf games. Wait, that's not much of a compliment. Great job guys!

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  3. This is the best thing in the world. I can't stop listening to it. You guys have outdone yourselves with this. It's just so good that to say it's amazing would be an insult.

    No Habs No!

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  4. hahah that was the best video by you guys hands down

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  5. So freaking awesome. You all have gone above and beyond with this eulogy. The Habs eliminated my team (Penguins) and I think the moment I saw this video is the moment I started to heal... it just feels so right.

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  6. This was almost worth the **** making the ECF.

    ... almost.

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  7. never stop making these videos, never

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  8. I really hate the Habs but sore losers are so pitiful.

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  9. I feel humbled to be in the presence of such greatness.

    Thank you, Bloge and DGB. Thank you.

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  10. Great job. I'm a habs fan and this song (the original) irks me to no end.

    Although I find it a little ironic to see someone who constantly brings up memories of the leafs 1993 conference finals laugh at habs fans because now "the conference finals is good enough." ;)

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  11. I have no idea how anyone can even ever remotely attempt to live up to what is simply a masterpiece. You guys have completely outdone yourselves!

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  12. Fantastic - the hallmarks of a good roast are subtlety and a pinch of self-deprecation. Most of the other eulogies were painfully ham-fisted insult-fests, seemingly written by Andrew Dice Clay.

    But, not this one. I, for one (and not ENTIRELY because I am a caps fan) am glad the habs finally lost, because I really wanted to see this come to light.

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  13. I agree, the Habs fans have made a lot out of a 3rd round exit..

    but not as much as a Leafs fan makes out of a regular season win.

    This year feels a little like 1968.

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  14. it's really too bad we had to wait so long for this eulogy (for more reasons than one) because it serves as the model against which all team eulogies should have been measured. instead, in its absence, we were subjected, more often than not, to unwitty, sour grapes screeds from frustrated and jealous fans of rival teams. this, by contrast is a masterpiece of satire. bravo(as ever), DGB!

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  15. Boy - someone's got a lot of time on their hands, since their pathetic bunch of cretons finished 2nd to last in the league.

    And for the record: the conference finals are NOT good enough. Then again, for the Maple Losers, a 10th place finish would warrant a parade.

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  16. Habs fans have to be the most insecure group of fans ever. So someone made fun of your team! Get over it. Half the stuff on DGB is making fun of the Leafs if you haven't noticed. Don't take yourselves so seriously.

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  17. If this doesn't win a Juno award next year then we know the fix was in. Brilliant job, lads.

    The lyrical equivalent of a Colton Orr beatdown on Carkner.

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  18. The potshots were easy to take but some fans deserve it.

    I'm a huge Habs fan and I enjoyed the hell out of this playoff run - just like the Leafs did during the Quinn era.

    Don't ever stop making fun of Annaking Slayd, that song is garbage and deserves every bit of mockery coming it's way. I swear to god, that song jinxed us.

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  19. @WhiskeySeven...

    I should just point out that I actually really liked the original version, and Annakin Slayd has been nothing but cool about this whole thing.

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  20. lol Hey, try not to give Boston another lottery pick next year. Okay guys? Pretty please? You do realize we're all in the same division, right?

    - A fucking Habs fan

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  21. Here's a big Habs fan saying... very creative. Very true. I listened to it more than once even though it hurt. And a radio station in Montreal is playing it quite a bit, too. Hats off!

    And, commenting in another entry you wrote, I can't stand Murray Wilson' "YESSS!" after goals either. (And I actually like Joe Bowen's calls of hockey games.)

    Yes, I really am a Habs fan, but I'm more levelled than most. I respect the history of all the Original Six teams, and will respectfully tip my hat the day your team wins the Cup.

    I try to channel what I hope are the honest feelings of our hockey heroes when they line up at the end of a series to shake hands. I hate when the Habs lose to the Leafs, but acknowledge when they do, because I see you as the mirror image of me, Leaf fan. Because I am.

    Hope you post this.

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  22. Quite possibly the best roast video I have ever seen... Please never stop posting

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  23. Greatest Video Ever!

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  24. Great to see some Habs fans coming in and taking this video in the spirit it's meant.

    And thank God the rest came in so that we can rest assured that the stereotypes are true.

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  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  26. You guys completely Ethered the habs and their fans with this... to the point where those insecure bitches flagged the video on Youtube and now you need to sign in in order to watch it.

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  27. oh wow, the pussies actually flagged it ... good lord cry babies, get a sense of humor!!!

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  28. Good parody, pretty clever. Better than Philly fans singing ole ole, that's for sure. I'm still happy we beat Pitts and Washington though, and given the chances that the hockey experts gave us to even make the playoffs, I think a conference finals appearance is great. I got to watch meaningfull hockey all the way to mid May, and saw some pretty amazing games. One day you Leafs fans will get a chance to experience the same thing, don't worry. Go Habs go!

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  29. I'm a Habs fan, and I have to say I enjoyed this video. I've listened to it a few times, and have it stuck in my head all the time. I think I'll burn a car in its honour tonight.

    Oh wait, that's not the way Habs fans are supposed to be. I mean...

    I'm a Habs fan, and I have to say this video sucked, just like the Leafs suck (Ha!)... blah blah blah... 1967 ... blah blah blah ... 24 Stanley Cups ... blah blah blah ... You don't have a draft pick ... blah blah blah ... Habs rule (etc. etc.). This video sucked so much I think I'll burn a car in anger tonight.

    (I hope I got it right; please let me know if I left something out).

    You suck! (aka: Good job!)

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  30. Wonder if all the annoymous humourless sore losers have bothered to go back and read ANY of this blog...The dude bags on EVERYBODY (except Clark).

    Great stuff as usual kudos all around.

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  31. Okay, the rant from 1:59-2:47 might just be the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

    "For making our school kids read The Sweater" - YES! Made my day.

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  32. Man, that coming from the biggest losers of all professional sports...
    Good luck not finishing second last again!

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  33. Thank God you and Bloge are Leafs fans. I have no idea what the rest of us would do without you guys to cheer us up when it comes to the NHL.

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  34. I am a hardcore Habs fan but I am also a Habs fan who is bitter towards the fact that our horrible fans are the reason as to why we'll be in as much turmoil as the Leafs were this season.

    I enjoyed this version more then Annakin Slayd's and I must say, you never cease to impress.

    I don't like how clueless Habs fans just trash the Leafs, yelling "67" and other crap like that. You gotta know the history behind their franchise and I do, which is why I would give Leafs and their fans kudos if they ever win a Stanley Cup within this century.

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  35. Maybe make something vaguely resembling a reasonable team who can compete before a playoff spot before you Leaf fans start hating

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  36. The butthurt Habs fans here taking this seriously are hilarious.

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