Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The top secret Toronto Maple Leafs Facebook feed

Social networking sites are all the rage among businesses these days, and it turns out that the Toronto Maple Leafs are no exception. The team has been operating a Facebook page for almost a year now -- but for some reason it's closed to the general public.

Well, no more. I was able to hack into the network long enough to grab a copy of their newsfeed. And since I figured that DGB readers might be interested, I'm cutting-and-pasting the entire thing here.

Paul Maurice left the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
May 7, 2008
Ron Wilson joined the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
June 10, 2008
Cliff Fletcher has become a fan of Luke Schenn.
June 18, 2008
Luke Schenn joined the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
June 20, 2008
Kyle Wellwood was tagged in a photo from the album Rare Beached Whale Sighting.
June 23, 2008

Kyle Wellwood left the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
June 24, 2008
Darcy Tucker left the group The Muskoka Five.
June 27, 2008
Bryan McCabe
That sucks! Won't be the same around here without you!
Jeff Finger joined the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
July 1, 2008
Cliff Fletcher
Cool. $3.5M total spread over four years like we discussed, right?
Jeff Jackson
Uh oh...
Mats Sundin left the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
July 1, 2008
Bob Gainey poked Mats Sundin.
July 1, 2008
Jonas Frogren joined the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
July 9, 2008
Cliff Fletcher
Jonas, don't worry about it. Even if he found out, what's Bettman going to do?
Bob Gainey poked Mats Sundin.
July 10, 2008
Cliff Fletcher gave a fifth-round draft pick to the New York Rangers.
July 14, 2008
Bryan McCabe updated his status: "Still not waiving my NTC, even if the Leafs ask me to."
August 13, 2008
Cliff Fletcher
Oh, don't worry. We won't be asking.
Bryan McCabe
Cool, that's a relief. I was worried that... wait, who are these guys with tire irons?
Bryan McCabe left the group The Muskoka Five.
August 14, 2008
Bob Gainey poked Mats Sundin.
September 13, 2008
Mats Sundin has blocked Bob Gainey.
September 14, 2008
Mikhail Grabovksi completed the quiz "Which 1990s Maple Leaf are you?" with the result "You are Sergei Berezin".
October 11, 2008
Ian White joined the group Moustaches Are Sexy.
October 19, 2008
Howard Berger posted a note: Most Valuable Losers Once Again.
October 30, 2008
Howard Berger left the group Hockey Reporters With Credibility.
October 30, 2008
Brian Burke left the Anaheim Ducks network.
November 12, 2008
Wendel Clark joined the group Toronto Maple Leafs honored numbers.
November 22, 2008
Brian Burke joined the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
November 27, 2008
18 people joined the group Toronto Maple Leafs assistant general managers.
November 30, 2008
Tyler Bozak joined the group Future NHL Stars.
December 2, 2008
Alexei Ponikarovsky completed the quiz "Which 1990s Maple Leaf are you?" with the result "You are Fredrik Modin".
December 7, 2008
Mats Sundin joined the Vancouver Canucks network.
December 18, 2008
Mats Sundin and Leafs Nation changed their relationship status to "It's complicated".
December 18, 2008
Johnny Mitchell installed the Hallway Soccer application
December 28, 2008
Matt Stajan
Johnny Mitchell
Sorry bro.
Matt Stajan
Don't worry about it.
Curtis Joseph completed the quiz "Which 1990s Maple Leaf are you?" with the result "You are Curtis Joseph".
January 3, 2009
Jamal Mayers gave a Severe Beating to Tom Kostopoulos.
January 9, 2009
Brad May gave a Can Of Whoop-Ass to Francis Bouillon.
January 9, 2009
Mikhail Grabovski gave a Flurry of Body Punches to an NHL linesman.
January 9, 2009
Brad May
You're doing it wrong.
"Brian Burke" added the Twitter application.
January 26, 2009
Doug Gilmour joined the group Toronto Maple Leafs honored numbers.
January 31, 2009
Evgeni Malkin and Tyler Kennedy joined the group People Who Have Had Their Souls Destroyed by Luke Schenn.
January 31, 2009
Justin Pogge left the group Future NHL Starting Goaltenders.
February 17, 2009
The Toronto Maple Leafs posted a video: Thank You Mats.
February 21, 2009
Dave Shoalts and Eklund added the Twitter application.
February 23, 2009
Brian Burke is no longer a fan of Down Goes Brown.
February 23, 2009
Mark Bell left the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
February 25, 2009
Nik Antropov and Dominic Moore left the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
March 4, 2009
Olaf Kolzig, Jamie Heward, Andy Rogers and a fourth round draft pick joined the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
March 4, 2009
Gary Bettman
Ron Wilson gave a Kick In the Balls to Howard Berger.
March 10, 2009
Tyler Bozak joined the Toronto Maple Leafs network.
April 4, 2009
Tyler Bozak left the group Future NHL Stars.
April 4, 2009
Mikhail Grabovski is no longer friends with Shady Belarusian Mobsters.
April 10, 2009
Ian White, Luke Schenn, Jason Blake, Niklas Hagman, Mikhail Grabovski, Martin Gerber and Ron Wilson added Switzerland to the Places I've Been application.
April 13, 2009
Brian Burke sent a friend request to John Tavares.
April 14, 2009
Garth Snow
Dude, seriously...
Mike Cammalleri, Henrik Sedin, Daniel Sedin and Jay Bouwmeester joined the group Your 2009-2010 Toronto Maple Leafs.
May 1, 2009
Rick Nash
Save me a good locker!
Tomas Kaberle
Um, why can't I access this group?

Download the full thing as an image here.

(Glove tap: The idea and some of the code for this post were stolen from inspired by



  2. Love it,
    Keep it up.

    Everyone at work thinks Im nuts while I sit here laughing my ass off

  3. I'm trying to keep the laughter to a dull roar - co-workers are giving me the evil eye...

  4. When did you become a doctor?
    Cause you had me in stitches! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    *dead silence*


  6. Your talents are wasted here. The score better be payin big bucks cuz this is probably more popular thant the scores own website.

  7. Just when I thought you'd gotten as good as you can get.

    Man, oh man, you are EN FUEGO.

    Fantastic work

  8. Wow. Sublime. I said your last one was the best yet, but you've out-done yourself yet again.

    Amazing, DGB.

  9. I am in tears, laughing. Best post in the history of the internet.

  10. Baaahahaha. So good I thought it was real... excellence.

  11. This is fabulous. Very nice job.

  12. This is the first good thing to ever come out of Facebook.

    And I fully admit to cheering loudly at the last update.

  13. Not Bad. I'm actually curious to know what you think about the latest round of Balsillie vs. Bettman

  14. Incredible. DGB, I don't know where you come up with this stuff. I'm also looking forward to a post on the Balsille/Bettman ordeal.

  15. GOLD. Especially Matt Stajan with an eyepatch and th "kick to the nuts" for Berger

  16. I know I already said this on Rangerland but sorry about that whole Hollweg thing. Trade of the year getting a 5th rounder for that sack of crap.

  17. How are you doing this stuff for free?

  18. That is golden, I do like the 2009-2010 lineup at the end, I think it is doable!

  19. Absolutely brilliant. Especially the Hallway Soccer bit.

  20. Oh man, Stajan in the eyepatch and Bettman's "WTF" reaction to the Lightning trade had me rolling. Love it.

  21. This is either epic in its awesomeness or awesome in its epicness, I can't tell which.

    Heck, both! Outstanding!

  22. Beyond amazing. You don't even have a top-5 anymore, it's expanded to a top-10, MINIMUM.

  23. More Gold where do you come up with this stuff?? Classic. You get better every post.

  24. Great work! I'm a Habs fan, but my favorite hockey blog is now a Leafs blog. That's how good you are.


  26. blindfolded tank driverMay 7, 2009 at 7:48 AM

    They're not words for how funny this post is, and you never fail to up the ante. Keep it up, because this stuff is awesome!

  27. This is ridiculously good. Bravo especially for the Stajan eye-patch. Awesome.

  28. You're a complete maniac. I'm so in love with you.

  29. Love the comments after Jeff Finger joins the network. Jeff Jackson had me howling.

  30. Dude, you are hillarious. Can't wait for your next blog.

  31. Brilliant work yet again DGB. One question tho, why have Bozak leave "Future NHL Stars"?
    Regardless, absolute genius.

  32. because he's a leaf, leafer
    we dont get stars

  33. haha, man, that was awesome. Really well done.

  34. next time, make it so that the links are all clickable. i desperately want to visit the "beached whale sightings" site.

    surely you have time ;)

  35. DGB FTW! Brilliant stuff. Loved the "18 people joined the group Toronto Maple Leafs Assistant General Managers," and of course anything that refers to WCH's testicles getting damaged.

  36. Best post ever! i think i'm going to read this every single morning

  37. "Curtis Joseph completed the quiz "Which 1990s Maple Leaf are you?" with the result "You are Curtis Joseph"."

    I crack up every time I see this nugget. Brilliant.

  38. Fantastic work! By far the best season recap I have ever seen. Well done.

  39. If DGB could write a book detailing how he
    a) Finds the time to do epic posts like this, and, much more importantly,
    b) Gets his wife to agree to let him do them on a regular basis, the book sales would allow him to purchase family season tix at the ACC. Or something close.

  40. hahahah good stuff

  41. my biggest concern with DGB is that he keeps setting the bar HIGHER with each hilarious post... they keep getting better and better; at some point we are going to feel let down because he's been WAY TOO GOOD TO US all along!!! :)

  42. Fucking genius.

  43. This comment has been removed by the author.

  44. Hey DownGoesBrown

    How about a post about the Swedish goalie, The Monster (I dont feel like trying to spell his name).

    You can do a similar post to the one you wrote on Tyler Bozak and where he should play.

    Toronto vs. Dallas vs. Vancouver

    get er done!!!

  45. Alfredsson 'liking' Mark Bell's departure and the whole Finger thing had me in stitches. Well done.

  46. Instant classic

  47. My favourite is the, "Which 1990's Leaf are you quiz". Classic.

  48. So frigging awesome, an instant classic. Someone's got to give you some prime time coverage.

  49. By far the best Leafs-related humour piece I've read in years. If laughs were dollars, you could retire on this one.

  50. Another Rangerlander checking in - this is a brilliant piece!

    i am dying

  52. LOLOLOLOL "Gary Bettman: WTF?"

  53. very comical

    The only thing that I find stupid is that Gerber added the Switzerland on place I've been when he is born in Switzerland