The NHL's discipline policy has been in the news again lately. We've seen various incidents involving Alexander Ovechkin, Mike Richards, Curtis Glencross, Colton Orr and others, not to mention the OHL's season-long ban to Mike Liambas.
And as always, the NHL's suspension decisions have been criticized. It's the usual refrain: discipline is handed out haphazardly, almost randomly, and there doesn't seem to be any sort of consistency.
Nonsense. The criticism is unfair and unfounded. The NHL has a clear policy when it comes to suspensions, and the policy is followed faithfully. The league just hasn't decided to share it. So I'm doing it for them.
Yes, I have a copy of the NHL's discipline policy. And given recent events, I think it's only fair that hockey fans everywhere get to see it.
So here, straight from the desk of Colin Campbell himself, is the super top secret policy for handing out suspensions:
By the way, it should go without saying that this policy applies only in the regular season. There's a separate policy for the post-season, which can be found here:
There. So much for "random suspensions". Don't you all feel silly now?
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82 comments:
This is brilliant. I hope to one day meet you with my laptop open to this page so you can autograph my monitor in permanent marker.
i can't seem to view the first flowchart in it's entirety, part of it is cut off. something i'm doing wrong, or what?
A+++++++++++++
Amazing. The regular season chart for its detail. The playoffs chart for its sheer simplicity.
Just right click and hit "view image".
Classic DGB. Absolute GOLD!
What Triple Deke Staff said.
Hahahaha... excellent!!!
DGB, I think you've outdone yourself! Bravo!!
I am in awe of the brilliance of this post. Years from now, I expect to find this enshrined in the hall of fame.
I don't even follow hockey, and this was amazingly awesome! Good work.
You sir, are absolutely hilarious!
One of the extremely few sites that will bring out that insane laughter. And that´s a good thing.
You left out this: Is player an Islander? > Yes > Suspended Indefinitely.
Was the player that was injured an Islander? > Yes > Let him off with a warning.
Absolutely hysterical.
I thought it was a great post; then I got to the playoff flowchart. Then I died.
Post of the year. Everyone else can just stop trying.... Dick.
Great work, way to work in a Damien Cox zinger.
BTW, in one of his latest articles he calls for a "non-bodychecking zone". It's official, he actually does want hitting taken out of the game.
you bring the truth in a way noone can. Go DGB
"Wait was it Avery?"
Love it. As a former L.A. resident who then moved to Philly and got to see Avery with the Rangers, then headed to TX to find out he was coming to the Stars, I've watched him do just about everything.
Thanks for releasing this top secret info.
Brilliant!
LOL, classic dude! found it at puck daddy and loved every second of it!
Brilliant stuff, though Donald Brashear would disagree with your playoff suspension flowchart
While I'm a little bummed a Kyle Wellwood fat joke wasn't in there I think you give the NHL too much credit here. I think the real chart is a dartboard, blindfold and bottle of Wild Turkey.
Jolly good show, chap.
Another brilliant posting. Love the flow chart.
Pure genius
Can I please have my charts back?
Signed,
Colin
Jesus, DGB.
Let me say again: Jesus. F*ing gold -- and strangely therapeutic.
Wonderful expose. You do a service to all hockey-viewing mankind and womankind with this.
Nice addition to the room with the Wheel of Justice in it.
nice post. i love it when you rip Cox. you know, all things considered he might be the least annoying Toronto beat writer. its just his articles that have to do with anything physical (fights, hitting, suspensions, etc) that are unbarable
And here I am thinking Ron MacLean is the only funny guy from Canada. Oh, and Trebek.
Seriously, this is pure gold.
Although this is hilarious, it's also sad and pathetic how completely accurate it is.
This, more than anything else, is what makes the NHL seem so bush league to me.
Instant classic! Thanks.
And another one.
Thoughtful, hilarious and pretty much dead on in accuracy.
Always original.
Lots of good sites out there but this one is tops! NO GD DOUBT!
Drop-dead brilliant! I feel like I should print this out for future reference.
Awesome!! :D It's all so clear to me now.
Hung both of those outside my office door. Brilliant.
It makes me sad there isn't some magazine in existence paying you $500 for this.
oh how i love the DGB spies...
LOVED the : ''Really? Really. Dammit Pronger'' part
Simply brilliant.
Nice work on the flow chart.
This is legen...wait for it...dary!
This is hilarious. It kinda makes me a little be sad that it's so true though.
Funny Stuff!
This image also has about 40 likes/reblogs over on tumblr right now. You're going to become head of the internet soon.
This is overflowing with win! Love it!!!
Wow. I thought the Regular Season Chart was funny, and then the Playoff one hit me. It's so true.
*snerk*
OK, this is some funny. :-)
DBD, I don't think I'm the first to admit that I'm a little jealous of your skillz. This is great. So much for the "Wheel of Justice" or whatever flimsy former critique people had for NHL justice ...
This is pure genius. Never a truer word about the ridiculous NHL suspension policy, or about the NHL in general, ever written.
I look forward to this going up on the DGB Greatest Hits roll soon, because this was gold. Bonus points for calling out Damien for his "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" articles.
This oughta shut up that commenter who bemoaned your DGB series a month or so ago, that's for sure.
oh my goodness! that was hilarious! ...and informative... lol
Well done!
Brilliant. If you weren't already engaged to Jonas Gustavsson, I'd ask you to marry me.
DAMMIT PRONGER.
Classic, good job.
Downie, I'd drop the engagement to Jonas if I were you.
Hilarious. I've bookmarked this for future reference.
You are officially responsible for buying me a new laptop. The previous one is now messed with a load of Gatorade (that's the only thing I drink while viewing sports-related web stuff). 1500 $ would do it. Oh wait! I shall alexeiyashin that. So it will be 1000 $ per year for next 12 years. Thank you.
AWESOME
This diagram is beyond funny, amazing, and accurate. Down Goes Brown is always welcome on PuckDrop to write (with lots of love back to Down Goes Brown), join us on a video, or our upcoming live show. This is some serious funny stuff. McRedwing and I were laughing hard on the phone when I read this out. Awesome.
You forgot the division "Did he give the other guy a concussion" with a 1-5 game suspension, and the "Did he say sloppy seconds" with a 5+ game suspension.
Brilliant. It's a damn shame you don't get paid for this.
Just about the French version: the website Doug Janik Tabarnak (a satirical "tribute" to Doug Janik, who wore the Canadiens jersey for a fabulous total of two games) made a version adapted to the Quebecer context. They put your URL as credit, but their own on the image (I'll scold them for that). The Damian Cox sentence was turned to: "Did Benoît Brunet say it was the other guy's fault because he didn't protect himself?" Benoît Brunet is actually Cox's opposite, but the effect is as funny.
brilliant thought!!!
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Great Job. The only thing missing is the "Was a Brian Burke player involved?" = give 1/8th the suspension you normally would because Gary like him so much.
Outstanding.
It makes so much sense to me now!
Love it! Truly love it!
Nice Post!!!
Brilliant thought....
Absolutely hilarious. Well done.
greatest. flowchart. ever.
I suspect the NHL will have to modify their chart soon, though -- replacing "DAMMIT, PRONGER!" with "DAMMIT, OVIE!"
This is made of awesome. And it explains the randomness of the league's officiating, or as much explanation as a random number generator can have.
DGB You Da Man man! I hope that possible job offer happens for you. Brilliance like this deserves to be financially rewarded.
Co-sign the Islanders thing. I believe, though, the proper provision would be this:
Was the perpetrator a member of the Islanders?
Yes --> Double the normal suspension
No --> Why is this even on my desk?
This perfectly predicted the Maxim Lapierre suspension. It's a little bit sad honestly.
Very funny stuff. There must be a version for the refs about when to call penalties.
It's time to update your flowchart.
"Dammit, Ovie!"
The NHL is trying to mess up your flow chat, dude. Suspending Ovechkin; not suspending Cooke and Downie.
I know everyone is going to say this about their own team, but you should include "Was it a member of the Flyers?---->automatic suspension despite the circumstances" and "Was it a member of the Penguins?------>NO suspension, even if they nearly kill a guy"
Money, DGB. Money. Thanks for the truth and the laugh!
So THAT'S why Hossa didn't get suspended.
Love it! Very very true!
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