Nine lives: A look at the playoff bubble teams

Last week we took a look at the eight teams that had established themselves as the presumptive Stanley Cup favorites. But while it's always fun to look ahead to who'll be left standing after four rounds, some teams have more immediate concerns. As the season winds down, it appears that we have nine teams fighting for the four final playoff spots.

The Western Conference features six teams fighting for three spots, including the third seed that will go to whoever wins the turtle derby in the Pacific Division. And in the East, we're essentially looking at three teams fighting for the eighth and final spot.

So which four teams will find a way to claim the final spots and sneak into the post-season, and which five will fall just short? Here's a look at the teams that find themselves on the playoff bubble in the season's final weeks.

Calgary Flames

Reason for optimism: Junior sensation Sven Baertschi could potentially return to the roster if a veteran player happened to be injured, if the over-sized anvil dangling from a frayed rope over Lee Stempniak's locker is any indication.
Possible bad sign: They'd be overwhelming underdogs in a first-round matchup with the St. Louis Blues, at least if you believe that old hockey adage that "When in doubt, always pick the team that actually retired Al MacInnis's number instead of just honouring it".

Washington Capitals

Reason for optimism: As the current eighth seed will have to find a way to make sure that an opponent doesn't sneak up and get them from behind, meaning they've finally found a subject where they can learn something from Dale Hunter.
Possible bad sign: Alexander Ovechkin has admitted that while he initially didn't mind hearing Jets fans chant "Crosby's better" at him on Saturday, it did kind of hurt when we found out afterwards that the Crosby they were referring to was Bing.

Phoenix Coyotes

Reason for optimism: Ownership is so confident in the team's chances that they've already got a detailed parade route hanging in the board room at team headquarters.
Possible bad sign: Well, we're assuming it was a parade route, although come to think of it maybe it was kind of odd that it starts in Glendale and winds up in Seattle.

Read the rest of this post...

A buyer's guide to the remaining NHL free agents - 2010

Boogard got how much?

As hockey's off-season drags on, there are still dozens of unrestricted free agents who haven't found a team for the upcoming season. Many will end up being exiled to Europe or even retirement, while others will manage to find a job in the NHL.

But which ones? Here's an honest look at the strengths and weaknesses of some of the best known free agents remaining on the market, along with a prediction of where they could ultimately wind up.

Antti Niemi
The bad: Was easily the most over-rated Stanley Cup winning goalie in the entire league last year.
The good: Doesn't know the meaning of the word "quit", although technically that's also true of all the other words in the English language.
Where he'd fit: Philadelphia, according to everyone in the entire hockey world who doesn't work in the Flyers' front office.

Lee Stempniak
The bad: Only seems to play well in Phoenix, which pretty much limits him to one-year offers.
The good: Hasn't played for the Maple Leafs since the trade deadline, so most of the loser stench has worn off by now.
Where he'd fit: Any team that only hired a scouting staff in mid-March.

Paul Kariya
The bad: Most scouts agree that his dimples are slightly less adorable than they used to be.
The good: Was at one point, many years ago, Paul Kariya.
Where he'd fit: Pretty much any team that's looking for a veteran scoring winger to play on a line with Teemu Selanne.

Ilya Kovalchuk
The bad: May have suffered a series of undisclosed head injuries during his career, based on his apparent willingness to commit to spending 17 years in New Jersey.
The good: Will no doubt be well-rested after the upcoming year-long work stoppage that he caused.
Where he'd fit: Any team that's been smart enough to preserve some cap room in 2027.

Owen Nolan
The bad: Is widely recognized as one of the worst NHL players that Belfast, Northern Ireland has ever produced.
The good: Can offer detailed scouting reports on the 30 NHL teams, all of which he's recently played for.
Where he'd fit: A team that believes it is one salt-and-pepper goatee away from contending.

Kyle Wellwood
The bad: Has occasionally experienced minor conditioning setbacks, which some bloggers have cruelly exaggerated to get cheap laughs.
The good: Is an extremely well-rounded player. Often appears to be everywhere on the ice at the same time. Has an overwhelming presence which can dominate the dressing room. Is unanimously considered to be one of the hungriest players in the league.
Where he'd fit: Any roster with a large hole to fill.

Miroslav Satan
The bad: Is always going on and on about his theory that the whole thing was just a dream by Leonardo DiCaprio's character, which is odd since he's talking about the seventh season of Growing Pains.
The good: Was an alternate on the NHL's millennial All-Miroslav team.
Where he'd fit: The New Jersey Devils, according to the International Union of Hilarious Newspaper Headline Writers.

Jose Theodore
The bad: Goal scoring totals have dropped significantly since 2000-01 season.
The good: Has been known to entertain teammates with hilarious made-up stories about winning the Hart Trophy.
Where he'd fit: Any NHL team where he wouldn't have to worry about once again losing his starter's job to Cristobel Huet. So, any NHL team.

Darcy Tucker
The bad: Is too old and broken down these days to randomly leap into opponent's benches any more; now just sort of limps over and then tumbles in.
The good: Critics who accuse him of being dirty don't have a leg to stand on, mostly because he's blown out both their knees.
Where he'd fit: Sami Kapanen's sweat-drenched nightmares.

Vesa Toskala
The bad: Often reminds you of the love child of Hardy Astrom and Andre Racicot, assuming that child was forced to play goal before developing gross motor skills.
The good: Has never been one of those irresponsible goalies who takes a brand new set of equipment and then spends the season ruining it by letting a bunch of pucks hit it.
Where he'd fit: As the backup for whatever ECHL team John Ferguson Jr. is working for these days.

The NHL's most memorable comebacks

Hey, why are there so
many Leafs on the course?

The big story in sports this week is the return of Tiger Woods. Four months after his headline-grabbing scandal, the world's most famous athlete will make his much-anticipated comeback this weekend at the Masters.

There's little question that the NHL has never seen anything quite like this week's PGA circus. But that's not to say that hockey hasn't seen its share of comebacks.

In fact, more than a few NHLers have made dramatic returns after an absence from their sport. Let's look back at some of the most memorable:

March 2, 1993 - After being diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma, Mario Lemieux returns to the Penguins' lineup. He goes on to capture the league scoring title and MVP award despite missing two full months, undergoing grueling radiation treatments, and being confined at all times to a hospital bed in rural Pittsburgh.

May 24, 2000 - After missing several months due to a career-threatening concussion, Eric Lindros returns to the lineup for the Philadelphia Flyers and immediately gets back to doing what he does best: suffering a career-threatening concussion.

March 4, 2010 - Lee Stempniak records a goal for the Phoenix Coyotes in his return to the NHL after a 16-month absence.

July 7, 2003 - Dominik Hasek announces his intention to return to the Detroit Red Wings after a one-year retirement. Or maybe he was trying to order a pizza. Nobody has ever really understood a word that guy said.

October 5, 2001 - Nearly 18 months after suffering a gruesome eye injury, Bryan Berard returns to the NHL has a member of the New York Rangers. Berard becomes the first NHLer to return to the league despite being declared legally blind since Kerry Fraser in 1993.

January 19, 2009 - The San Jose Sharks recall 43-year-old winger Claude Lemieux, six years after his retirement from the league. Lemieux tells reporters that he chose the Sharks for his comeback because of their need for a veteran presence, his friendship with general manager Doug Wilson, and the fact that he's really too old to be playing more than one playoff round.

September 19, 2009 - Theo Fleury scores in a pre-season shootout for Calgary after a seven-year absence from the NHL. His inspiring comeback attempt ends weeks later, when the Flames release him after realizing he is not a former Maple Leafs third-liner.

March 5, 2009 - Sean Avery returns to the NHL after a three month absence due to the most shocking and controversial sex scandal in NHL history; or, as the rest of the sports world would call it, a slightly off-color joke.

May 27, 1993 - In the midst of the Kings/Leafs conference final series, Wayne Gretzky makes a miraculous recovery from a career threatening case of piano-on-back.

April 9, 2002 - Canadiens' captain Saku Koivu makes his return after a seven-month battle with cancer. Montreal fans are so moved by his recovery that they give him an emotional eight-minute standing ovation, before immediately spilling out onto the street to smash hospital windows and set ambulances on fire.

October 5, 2005 - In a bizarre coincidence, every single player in the entire league returns to action after an identical one-year absence.

October 5, 2000 - Alexei Yashin returns to the Ottawa Senators lineup after holding out for an entire year. He goes on to have a mediocre regular season and then disappears in the playoffs, leading the hockey world to conclude that anyone who would trade for him now would have to be a complete idiot.

Cold Cases: The NHL's other missing items

Hockey fans are well aware of the recent mini-drama involving Sidney Crosby's equipment from Canada's gold medal game. The stick he used to score the winning goal went missing along with a glove, leading to a Canada-wide search and a $10,000 reward.

The equipment was eventually found, and the hockey world breathed a sigh of relief. But not so fast. It turns out that Crosby's gear was only one example of a growing problem. NHL-related items have been going missing for years, and there are currently several ongoing investigations.

Here are ten example of high-profile ongoing investigations into NHL items that seem to have disappeared.

The item: Daniel Alfredsson's Stanley Cup ring
Missing since: 2004
Case details: Alfredsson famously guaranteed that the Senators would win at least one Stanley Cup. However, there is no evidence that the ring from that championship is currently in his possession.
Investigation status: Progress has proven difficult, as every time the victim is questioned about it he gets upset and storms away.

The item: The Toronto Maple Leafs' first round draft picks
Missing since: September 18, 2009
Case details: A review of the NHL's draft list shows that the Leafs do not have either of their next two first round picks, despite those picks being critical to their rebuilding effort.
Investigation status: While Leafs GM Brian Burke has denied that a crime took place, every Leafs' home game this year has produced 18,800 new eyewitnesses who confirm that a robbery was pulled off.

The item: Brian Campbell's clavicle
Missing since: March 14, 2010
Case details: The clavicle, last seen Sunday morning, has since been replaced by a loose pile of jagged shards and bone-colored dust.
Investigation status: While investigators are said to have a suspect in the case, a thorough sweep of the crime scene failed to uncover any evidence such as DNA, fingerprints, or Olympic medals.

The item: Sean Avery's medication
Missing since: About two weeks ago
Case details: Avery appears to have recently gone off the medication which had prevented him from acting like an attention-starved sideshow, saying ridiculous things, having any discernible personality, responding to outside stimuli in any way, and being an effective player.
Investigation status: No firm leads, but authorities strongly suspect that Larry Flynt is involved.

The item: A Philadelphia Flyers playoff-caliber goaltender
Missing since: 1996
Case details: Oddly enough, the team's front office seems completely unaware that anything is missing.
Investigation status: If we can't solve it now, there's always next year. And the next. And the next...

The item: The piano on Lee Stempniak's back
Missing since: March 3, 2010
Case details: The item apparently holds great sentimental value to Stempniak, since he hadn't been seen without it since November 2008.
Investigation status: Let's just say everyone's pretty sure it will turn up on its own.

The item: Scott Gomez
Missing since: 2007
Case details: Gomez signed an enormous free agent deal with the New York Rangers. He's never been heard from since.
Investigation status: Prime suspect Glen Sather claims to have an alibi, insisting that Gomez was traded to another team in the off-season. But a brief examination of the player's stats and the NHL's salary cap rules reveals that to be clearly impossible.

The item: Tomas Kaberle's copy of the NHL standings
Missing since: 2008
Case details: It's really the only possible explanation for the whole NTC thing, right?
Investigation status: Authorities are anxious to locate the item prior to this year's draft, since it will give Tomas plenty to think about when he's traded to the Oilers.

The item: Personal items from several Montreal Canadiens
Missing since: March 11, 2010
Case details: Various players reported the recent theft of several cans of shoe polish.
Investigation status: It's the strangest thing, they were right here until those two fans walked by and... oh good God, they couldn't have.

The item: Matt Cooke's karma
Missing since: 1999
Case details: Philosophers believe that the karmic effects of one's deeds will actively impact present and future experiences. However, this delicate universal balance seems to have been mysteriously absent during Cooke's NHL career.
Investigation status: Good news! The Boston Bruins have located the missing item, and have promised to personally return it to Cooke this Thursday.

Trade Deadline 2010 Liveblog

4:00 p.m. - Burke's presser has wrapped up. No real news, although he reiterated that he'd do the Kessel deal again, that the current roster should be fearing for their jobs after last night's effort, and that Caputi will be in the Leafs lineup tomorrow.

(Update: One more minor Leafs deal: a sixth to the Penguins for prospect Chris "Nephew of Mike" Peluso.)

"Being a seller sucks," Burke says. And with that, he's done for the day and so am I. Thanks to everyone who dropped in during the day.

3:40 p.m. - Funny moment on TSN, as Bryan Murray is doing his post-deadline press conference but the network cuts away immediately as soon as Burke gets near the podium.

Burke isn't saying much of interest. He gives a heartfelt thanks to Ponikoravsky for his time in Toronto, followed by a somewhat muted goodbye to Stempniak and MacDonald. There are no other deals in the works.

Burke is now doing his well-rehearsed "Tomas Kaberle has a no-trade clause" answer. I honestly think it's word-for-word what he said earlier in the year. The news is that Kaberle's agent apparently gave a list of two teams to Burke today, but there was no deal to be made.

3:15 p.m. - Joey MacDonald, who I'd forgetten existed, has been dealt to the Ducks for a seventh-round pick. The Stempniak deal was for a 4th and 7th.

Unless there's more to come, it looks like the Leafs' haul for today is a 4th, a 5th, two 7ths, and a decent prospect.

Is that enough?

3:10 p.m. - Kaberle's agent has apparently told ESPN that he's going nowhere. That's probably a disappointment, but without knowing what teams were in play and what was offered it's hard to call it a disaster.

3:05 p.m - And the NHL deadline has passed. Deals can still come in, of course, but as of right now this has to go down as one of the dullest deadline in recent memory.

2:55 p.m. - Stempniak deal is done, but no word on for who or what. Man, even on deadline day this guy is invisible.

2:40 p.m. - TSN says Stempniak "is going to go". I think a third-round pick or similar prospect would be more than enough.

2:25 p.m. - Really glad I'm still wearing the Z-Shock helmet. It made clean-up a lot easier after the Toskala trade broke and my brain exploded.

2:05 - Nick Kypreos is reporting that the Flames have acquired Vesa Toskala.

Elliote Friedman: "Were the Maple Leafs blacked out in Calgary this year?"

1:40 p.m. - Tomas Kaberle has made it official. He will waive, if the right deal comes along. Stay tuned.

1:35 p.m. - Mathieu Schneider was just traded. Hey, remember when the Leafs acquired him and everyone agreed it was a bad deal because he was so old and you can't give up young players like Kenny Jonsson for a veteran? That was in 1996. Jonsson's been out of the NHL since before the lockout.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, do we know if Chris Chelios ever bit Mathieu Schneider?

1:00 p.m. - We have our first kind-of, sort-of blockbuster of the day: Wolski for Mueller. Prelude of things to come? Let's hope so.

12:30 p.m. - There's a good discussion on twitter right now about Tomas Kaberle's apparent reluctance to be dealt. Some are defending him, but generally the consensus is that he doesn't seem interested in winning.

Here's my thoughts: I don't know yet. And I won't know until July 1, which is the first day the Leafs and Kaberle can negotiate an extension to his current deal. If Kaberle really does love playing in Toronto, and wants to finish his career here, then we should find out during those first conversations.

If he signs a reasonable long-term, then we'll know he was sincere about loving Toronto and his NTC stance will make sense. If he starts playing hardball and muttering about leaving as a UFA, we'll know he was just a guy who got way too comfortable with losing.

I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt right now.

12:05 p.m. - James Mirtle just tweeted: "The Leafs are practising at noon today and will fly to Boston after the trade deadline. We don't know who won't be on that flight yet."

Look, MLSE has a lot of money. Just this one time, wouldn't it be cool if they gave each player his own individual plane? I'm picturing 20 CF-18s all flying in formation. Then, if a player is traded, his plane peels off from the group and reroutes to his new destination. You're telling me that wouldn't make for great TV?

Do it, Peddie!

11:50 a.m. - The Ducks have just acquired Aaron Ward in exchange for a pick and Justin Pogge. That should be the domino that gets the "really terrible goaltender" market moving.

11:35 a.m. - Good point by DP in the comments: "Skoula's steadiness is going to be a big loss. His +/- of 0 as a Leaf ranked 2nd on the team."

11:15 a.m. - A few days ago, the nice folks at Easton sent me one of the new lightweight S19 Z-Shock helmets that just launched during the Olympics. The idea was that I should test it out... but I'm not playing in any leagues right now.

So I've decided to put it to an even tougher test today: I'm going to wear the helmet every time I check twitter. After all, at least half the rumors, speculation and "sources tell me" reports are ridiculous enough to make you want to slam your head into a wall. I'll let you know how the helmet holds up.

11:00 a.m. - TSN says Martin Skoula is going to the Devils. And so once again, we lose out on the dream of him winding up in San Jose so we could all make "Skoula The Gentle Shark" jokes.

10:40 a.m. - TSN is interviewing Sidney Crosby. He just described the acquisition of Alexei Ponikarovsky as "the absolute best thing that's happened to me all week".

10:30 a.m. - We have our first deal of the day. Derek Morris has been dealt to Phoenix, in a move that will no doubt be shocking for the majority of hockey fans who thought Derek Morris already played for Phoenix.

10:05 a.m. - TSN just interviewed Luca Caputi, who told them he was a diehard Leaf fan growing up and still has a framed painting of Doug Gilmour hanging over his old bed at his parents' house. Let's just say he's growing on me.

10:00 a.m. - Here's an update on where we're at as far as Kaberle goes. All updates via twitter.

Bruce Garrioch: "Tomas Kaberle is definitely in play."

Elliotte Friedman: Kaberle agent, Rick Curran: no list submitted, BUT if Toronto comes to him with offer -- will at least consider it.

Nick Kypreos: Toronto is aware of teams Thomas Kaberle will waive his no trade to go. Now likely he will be gone.

Steve Simmons: Kaberle is NOT repeat NOT in play, despite what is being said elsewhere. That could change as day progresses but Im assured there is no list

We will see...

8:30 a.m. - Welcome to the 2010 NHL trade deadline.

If you're just waking up to the news of last night's Ponikarovsky-to-Pittsburgh trade, my reaction and a scouting report from The Pensblog can be found here.

Meanwhile, there are breaking reports on twitter that Tomas Kaberle may be in play after all. If so, the day just got a lot more interesting.

Typically these days start off slow, then build to a flurry towards the 3:00 deadline and beyond. I'll be posting thoughts, links and breaking news, and will also be posting the best of the comments section so let me know what's on your mind.

The Maple Leafs team Christmas party

I received a tip over the weekend that the Leafs would be holding their annual Christmas party at a nearby establishment. I deployed some of my trusted DGB spies (now armed with video cameras), and they were able to infiltrate the proceedings and capture this exclusive footage.

(Thanks to Bloge Salming. Visit his site every day or Komisarek says you're next.)

Happy holidays, everyone, and here's hoping that you and yours get everything you asked for. Just like Phil Kessel.

What went wrong? Excuses from the NHL's losers

Almost seven full months after the start of the regular season, we are down to eight. Eight teams with a shot at the greatest trophy in all of sports. Eight teams, each well and truly worthy of being celebrated.

But of course, that's not how things work around here. Because there are also eight teams that have just been sent home, not to mention 14 more that didn't even make the playoffs. That makes 22 teams that didn't manage to win so much as one single round.

In other words, 22 losers.

What happened? What went wrong? I decided to find out. So I used my connections to reach out to each team, and asked them to provide an official excuse for their failure. Here's what they told me:


Phoenix Coyotes - Wayne Gretzky's entire coaching style involves playing a video of himself from 1983, pointing at screen, and yelling "do that!"

Tampa Bay Lightning - Everyone always told us to always ask selves "What Would Gary Roberts Do?", so we quit mid-way through the season.

St. Louis Blues - Could not realistically have been expected to overcome crushing mid-season loss of Lee Stempniak.

Florida Panthers - Heard rumors that Florida fans react to playoff success by pelting players with rodent carcasses.

Calgary Flames - Despite tireless efforts to prepare for opponents, were caught off-guard by Blackhawks' never-before-seen trick play called "Martin Havlat actually does something in the playoffs".

New York Islanders - Gosh, hard to say. Suppose it could have had something to do with not having any NHL-caliebe players on the roster.

Ottawa Senators - Gave up after captain Daniel Alfredsson privately guaranteed team would miss playoffs, because man, that guy is never wrong.

Atlanta Thrashers - Like everyone else in the hockey world, completely forgot we existed.

Columbus Blue Jackets - Are a young team that is still learning how to win in the playoffs. For example, this year we learned that it's a really bad idea to play the Detroit Red Wings.

Nashville Predators - Were distracted by concerns that team could be bought by somebody deemed unacceptable by Gary Bettman, such as a person with actual money and no criminal record.

Buffalo Sabres - Not sure where it came from, but this new Dominic Moore guy has an overpowering case of the loser cooties.

Los Angeles Kings - Were confused by NHL's increasingly strict interpretation of rulebook. For example, did you know that in really important games referees can now call a penalty when you hit somebody in the face with your stick?

Dallas Stars - Must have been some sort of conspiracy between Tony Romo and Jason Witten.

San Jose Sharks - Instead of rousing pre-game speech or quiet moment of reflection on task at hand, franchise player Joe Thornton uses final moments before every playoff game to run around locker room shrieking "I have the nervous poos!"

New York Rangers - After game four, realized that choking horrifically would be the only way to get media to stop talking about Sean Avery for three minutes.

New Jersey Devils - Should probably have reconsidered team's inspirational playoff slogan of "59 minutes? Sure, close enough!"

Edmonton Oilers - If his text messages aren't returned promptly, owner Daryl Katz will crush a player's morale by de-friending them on Facebook.

Minnesota Wild - Heart-pounding tempo of Jacques Lemaire's quick strike offensive game plan impossible to sustain over full season.

Colorado Avalanche - Employ Andrew Raycroft.

Toronto Maple Leafs - Sorry, couldn't hear your question. The acoustics are bad in this giant vault full of sweet, sweet money.

Philadelphia Flyers - Referees killed us. Which, I suppose, makes us even.

Montreal Canadiens - Many players suffered from chronic back problems and strained groins due to franchise spending entire season trying to blow itself.

The sales pitch: Why you need to trade for these Leafs

OK, so Brian Burke and I aren't on the best of terms these days. I want to make it up to him.

With the deadline just a week away, Burke is faced with the task of convincing his fellow GMs to trade for various Leaf players. Needless to say, this won't exactly be easy.

Like any good salesman, Burke needs to go into battle with a game plan. So I've put together a list of talking points that he could use to try to sell other GMs on his wares. They're his to use, free of charge. Consider it a peace offering.

According to Google, this is a picture of
Lee Stempniak. No Leaf fan can confirm this.

The player: Lee Stempniak
The sales pitch: Not one of those late-season pickups who will come in and disrupt precious dressing room chemistry by being noticeable in any way.

The player: Jason Blake
The sales pitch: While many have cited the length of his contract as a cause for concern, the actual salary cap implications are hard to predict since the CBA will have expired and been renegotiated three times before his deal finally ends.

The player: Curtis Joseph
The sales pitch: Will immediately begin bolstering the confidence of your offensive players during practice shooting drills.

The player: Tomas Kaberle
The sales pitch: Is so good that some teams have been willing to deal a 23-year-old future 50-goal scorer and a first round pick for him, if you can possibly believe such a thing. Ha ha. Ha. Oh god I hate my life.

The player: Andre Deveaux
The sales pitch: A trade to another team would increase the young enforcer's value by making it possible for him to some day fight Ryan Hollweg, the only player in the entire NHL he is capable of beating

This is a cool photo, except that a defenceman
was winding up at the point when it was taken

The player: Vesa Toskala
The sales pitch: Recent history has shown that every goalie who leaves the Leafs automatically becomes ten times better on their new team. Which, in Toskala's case, would make him a very solid backup down the stretch in the event that your regular backup gets injured.

The player: Nik Antropov
The sales pitch: Inevitable upcoming stint on injured reserve will clear up valuable late season cap space.

The player: Mikhail Grabovski
The sales pitch: Has been described as "fearless", party due to his habit of making risky plays in the open ice but mostly due to his willingness to talk crap about Belarusian mob underlings.

The player: Dominic Moore
The sales pitch: Future free agent can always be resigned before the off-season, which would be a great idea since career fourth-liners who have unexpected career seasons during a contract year almost always go on to maintain that level of success.

The player: Matt Stajan
The sales pitch: Has shown impressive focus; despite playing almost his entire career on embarrassingly awful teams has never complained, become dejected, or acted like he even vaguely cared.

Miscellaneous ex-Avalanche defenceman

The player: Jeff Finger
The sales pitch: Career sixth-defenceman occasionally plays so well that seasoned hockey executives have been known to mistake him for the infinitely better Kurt Sauer.

The player: Alexei Ponikarovsky
The sales pitch: Averaged 20 goals a season from 2005-08, so he'd be reasonably productive as long as your roster is so utterly devoid of talent that you're forced to play him on the first line next to a future hall of famer.

The player: Alex Steen
The sales pitch: Talented young player has shown impressive defensive acumen, occasional offensive flair, and emerging leadership skills. Is also technically now a member of the St. Louis Blues, so we can let him go for a late round draft pick.

The player: Luke Schenn
The sales pitch: Is excellent at defending odd-man rushes. Which will come in handy, since the asking price is your entire roster and a first round pick.

Maple Leaf salary fun facts

Here's a couple of loose ends from last week's Mid-Season Value Ranking post. While putting the post together, I did some research into the Leafs' current contract and salary cap commitments. I learned a couple of things that I found interesting.

Fun fact #1: The Leafs highest paid forward is Jason Blake, thanks to his Contract of Eternal Damnation™. Next on the list is recent FA signing Nik Hagman. Do you know which Leaf forward is their third highest paid?

No, not Antropov. No, not Poni. Not even Stempy. Give up? It's this guy.

Fun fact #2: Unlike many teams, the Leafs don't have much in the way of long-term contracts. In fact, as of today the team only has a cap commitment to one player beyond 2012. Can you name him? Answer: this guy.

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, this.

Leafs trade Steen and Colaiacovo for Lee Stempniak

Apparently Trader Cliff felt like getting in one for the road.

Well, at least if you assume that Fletcher did this on his own, without consulting with Burke. Which seems like a foolish assumption to me, even though that's the angle the media seems to be running with.

I don't know much about Stempniak so I'll resist the urge to annoyingly declare a "winner" in thie deal before any of the players even have time to get on an airplane. But my initial reaction is that any forward who has been scoring at a point-a-game pace can probably crack the Leafs' first two lines.

Steen has a boatload of talent, but for whatever reason it just wasn't happening for him in Toronto. Maybe a fresh start will wake him up. That means he could be yet another Steve Sullivan/Kyle Wellwood story, but so be it. There's no reason to hang on to a depreciating asset just to prevent anyone else from mining any value out of it.

I'm genuinely happy for Colaiacovo. Last month I wrote a post about my hope that the Leafs would trade him. I think he got a raw deal in Toronto, both due to bad luck on the injury front and Ron Wilson deciding to make an example out of him. That's the way it goes sometimes, but I'm happy to see him get a fresh start. I really hope he succeeds in St. Louis.