
except his includes the word "minus".
Today marks the five year anniversary of this site. Five years ago today, I sat down and wrote a few quick paragraphs about the previous night's Leaf game, and gave it the creative title "Leafs 4, Habs 2". The post doesn't bear much resemblance to what you usually find on the site these days, although it did include a Kyle Wellwood fat joke and a reference to terrible Leafs goaltending.
Over the next few months I wrote a variety of posts, most of them attempts at serious analysis. My audience consisted of roughly seven people. Eventually those seven people held an intervention and told me "Dude, enough complaining about the Mats Sundin up, lighten up", and so I did.
In the years since, the site has grown, I've had a chance to do some pretty neat things (have I ever mentioned the book? I have? OK, just checking), and I still haven't got over the Mats Sundin thing. To mark the anniversary, here are some five-packs from the first half decade of Down Goes Brown.
Five posts from the site's first few months that, in hindsight, weren't completely terrible.- Russ Courtnall for John Kordic was a good trade - Five years later, I still don't think I've ever convinced anyone. But I'm still right, and you're all still wrong.
- Great Obscure Moments in Leafs History - Nikolai Borschevsky's post-game interview with Ron MacLean - Un-bee-leeb-abba.
- How to fight when you don't want to fight - Be sure to click on all the YouTube links to see if any of them still work. (They don't.)
- Ottawa Senators traditions - Senator fans didn't seem to like this one. You just can't please those people.
- If MLSE made their own beer - I think this may have been the post where I learned to abandon the use of actual structure and love the bullet point.
- A breakdown of the Leeman vs. Savard fight - aka "The post where we found a young Chris Durno"
- 2011 NHL draft winners and losers - aka "The one where Mike from Philadelphia didn't get the joke and became a legend"
- A fan's guide to booing - aka "The one where we all decide to boo Mattias Ritola, and then a few weeks later he lit up the Leafs and everyone yelled at me"
- A detailed look back at game seven of the 2011 Stanley Cup finals, which due to a scheduling error had to be published twelve hours early - This one was really funny for like eight hours. You kind of had to be there.
- The suspension flowchart - This one is my "Freebird", in the sense that when I'm coasting through a pathetic old-timer blog tours in 30 years, I'll have to save it to the end so that everyone doesn't leave.
- The NHL's suspension flowchart - Dammit, Pronger.
- Gary Bettman's Halloween party - Ahoy, me matey!
- The NHL's standard test for diagnosing concussions - What's the last thing you remember thinking before you were injured?
- The other former players who interviewed for Colin Campbell's job - Chris Pronger meets Wendel Clark.
- Chris Pronger's other jerk moves - It's not just the random violence.
- The official map on an NHL rink - It was depressing to find out how many of today's fans don't know what the trolley tracks are.
- The Toronto Maple Leafs facebook feed - This one ends with a joke about all the great players the Leafs would be acquiring soon. It's funny because it's true, only the exact opposite.
- Gary Bettman's hacked gmail account - I'd just like to point out that this was before every single person in the sports world had a "hacked gmail" post on a site somewhere.
- Other Toronto Maple Leafs training camp letters - I like ballons!
- Other NHL player "thank you" ads - Do you know how hard it is to find a decent photo of Mark Messier in a Canucks uniform?
- The Brian Burke twitter account - "If someone’s going to try and impersonate Brian Burke, I’m going to sue his ass." (He didn't.)
- Leafs GM Cliff Fletcher talks trade with Ducks GM Brian Burke - All completely innocent, of course.
- Brian Burke's letter to the other 29 GMs about Tomas Kaberle - I'm disappointed that "Rosey McUnibrow" never really stuck.
- The Team USA Olympic orientation camp - With special guest Ron Wilson.
- Brian Burke mic'd at the 2009 draft - What TSN didn't show you.
- The Olympic Welcome Song - Team Canada wants everyone to know what was coming next.
- Felt Like '93 - Our tribute to the Habs inspiring 2010 playoff run.
- Welcome To Loser City - A couple of ex-Leafs help Jarome Iginla feel at home.
- Scored In My Own Net - Big Game Chris drops some knowledge.
- Reimer - We are so, so sorry about this one.
- Um…
- Hmm.
- Dammit.
- You know what, I don't even care any more. (Drinks heavily.)
- I care so much. (Sobs into pillow until dawn.)
- The Leafs/Kings liveblog from 1993 - That game.
- The all-time worst Maple Leafs - Pre-Komisarek edition.
- Is this the worst it's ever been? - Leaf fans keep asking me to update this, because Leaf fans enjoy being sad.
- The definitive guide to the All Heart video - At least it's not all bad. (Watches video on fullscreen auto-loop for the rest of the weekend.)
- Dear son, welcome to life as a Leafs fan - My all-time favorite post.
Anyway, you get the idea. I've had a ton of fun doing this stuff, and I hope you've found at least a few posts that were worth your while.
At this point I can honestly say that I really have no idea what the future holds for this site. But whether you're one of those original seven readers or somebody who just found it recently, you have my sincere thanks for reading.
Featuring 70 posts including 24 chapters of exclusive new material, The Best of Down Goes Brown is now available
Buy it today: Amazon.com | Amazon.ca | Kindle | Barnes & Noble | Nook | Chapters/Indigo | Kobo | iBooks
i like the yearly EA Sports NHL Game Reviews
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on five years of excellent writing and keeping questionable company.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on 5 years DGB, and thank you for all the akward moments when you made me laugh out loud in the middle of my very quiet office. Well done sir!
ReplyDeleteMy personel favorite was the Ilya Kovalchuk Contract Hearing with the Judge. It had me all out crying it was so d*** funny.
Keep up the good work here.
And at Grantland. (You Sold Out! You Sold Out! You Sold Out!)
I think you meant Corel® PHOTO-PAINT™.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what ever happened to that company.
DeleteI completely forgot to read the photo caption, then spit up some coffee. Outstanding, and happy birthday.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on 5 years DGB! Stumbled onto this site during the lockout, and it quickly became one of my favorite sites on the net. Now I'm slowly going back through the entire archives, and trying as hard as I can to keep from laughing too loudly at the office - you frequently defeat my best efforts on that point. You've even got me secretly rooting for the Leafs, as long as they're not up against my Hawks. Again, congrats, and happy birthday!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations DGB. I'm a fan over seas and been reading you for about 4 years, feeling bad about the one i missed(even though i caught up in roughly a weekend).
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs, DGB, and thank Wysh for pointing your site years ago. Congratulations on 5 years of hilarity, of which yours is unparalleled. To many more years of the funny, I wish you continued success.
ReplyDeleteThanks DGB for laughs and let's hope for many more birthdays to your blog!
ReplyDeleteAs a birthday present a small piece of information for you.
Did you know what one of you "favourite" d-man Aki Berg does today?
Usually ex-players turn into tv-career or coaching. But not your Aki.
He's filling water bottles for his hometown club TPS, in Turku Finland.
http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turun_Palloseura_%28j%C3%A4%C3%A4kiekko%29#Huolto
Sorry I couldn't find any english article about that.
Cheers from,
Marko
Helsinki, Finland
Ps. that "Dear son welcome to life as leaf fan" is absolutely golden one.
Something you should have borrowed from Mike Royko for your all time favorite post. I cannot find a link to the original column but this story contains the key quote:
ReplyDeletehttp://articles.chicagotribune.com/2003-10-17/news/0310170448_1_cubs-fan-lesson-mike-royko
"I always believed that being a Cubs fan built strong character. It taught a person that if you try hard enough and long enough, you'll still lose. And that's the story of life."
You have to address the question facing all Leaf fans - who has to die in order for the Leafs to succeed? The Detroit Red Wings have been the best run franchise in the NHL over the past 30 years. The key to their success was the sale of the team by Bruce Norris four years before his death. Norris was an alcoholic who destroyed the Wings. I think the Wings are on the downward path right now and it will be interesting to see how long it takes them to get back to the top. Right now, the best run franchise in the NHL is the Chicago Blackhawks. Another alcoholic, Bill Wirtz, ran them into the ground until his death in 2007. Contrary to popular belief, "Dollar Bill" Wirtz was not cheap. He spent money. He was just incompetent. He and his drinking buddies like Bob Pulford could not run a lemonade stand. Somehow, he had a son, Rocky Wirtz, who was competent, skilled even. It is amazing how quickly the Hawks turned around. It helps when you get Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane in consecutive drafts. Separate subject - any argument that Toews is the best all around forward in hockey?
ReplyDeleteIn Chicago, the fans returned before the winning. The Blackhawks have sold out every home game since the end of the 2007-8 season - a year they did not make the playoffs. Wirtz's death on September 26, 2007, was enough to give hope.
So it is possible to build a strong organization fairly quickly. Another question - why are other teams not constantly raiding Chicago and Detroit for front office talent? Is the problem for Toronto that fairly quickly is not fast enough? I am surprised that Brian Burke failed. I thought he knew how to build a winner. Was the pressure in Toronto too great for him and he grasped for instant results rather than building? Can anyone build a winner given the pressure in Toronto?
Well, we all thought it was Harold Ballard who had to die. And it worked... for a few years.
DeleteAs for Burke, he did grasp for instant results but that wasn't because of the pressure of Toronto. Leaf fans were willing to be patient if that's what his plan called for. He just made a bad call and talked himself into a different plan.
This has been a tough week in my life. Thanks for the links to the 5 songs with Bloge Salming. It felt good to smile.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your 5th anniversary--I look forward to many more DGB treats!
Congrats on five years! Many happy returns.
ReplyDeleteYour blog makes my day on a regular basis and the book is a great read. When I've got tears in my eyes , shaking with laughter, and other people are asking, "what the hell are you reading?", that's comedy. Thanks!
Sean, I'm glad Brown went down. I enjoy your great writing, and as usual, the picture caption FTW. Hopefully you can get Mike from Philly to guest write.
ReplyDeleteHBD DGB !!! Been reading for 2 years now, you're a breath of fresh air, a bottomless pit of hockey trivia, on a scene saturated with dumbasses trying to be clever because they had access to a computer and analyze hockey to death forgetting all about the show, the chuckles, the laughters and all the emotions the game give us.
ReplyDeleteKudos
Congratulations for making it for five years. I'm looking forward to read more wonderful posts from you in the years to come.
ReplyDeleteSo I just wanted to say thank you and congratulations on reaching five years. I've been reading your blog for years, and I honestly think I've read almost everything (I used to go through the back archives when I was on a long bus trip). I really want to thank you wholeheartedly for helping to shape my identity as a hockey fan. I started watching hockey in 2007 and have turned from someone who had no idea how the game even worked to a die-hard fan (Flyers, yeah, I know, I know, but I'm from Philly, and no, I don't know Mike). I routinely quote "Qu'est que c'est the hell was that, tabernac?" at my friends, and my wallet is made partly with a Wendel Clark hockey card.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the All Heart video is the best thing on YouTube.
I am not sure if it is plagiarism or just the influence of genius but Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune seems to be finding his toned down for the newspaper DGB:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/rosenblog/chi-rosenbloom-kane-chicago-blackhawks-20130211,0,7262946.column
Where do you think he got this (at least he changed Edmonton to Winnipeg):
If one of those scenarios played out, you can bet your mouthpiece that somebody or everybody threatened to trade Kane to some godforsaken city, or worse, Winnipeg. If you don’t think that was hanging over Kane’s hungover head, then you don’t know the NHL.
Adding to my previous comment, I don't think even Jonathan Toews would like to be traded to his hometown. For a rich 24 year old hockey star, Chicago is a great town. The United Center will be crazy on Tuesday night. For Hawks fans, the lockout does not seem like it has really ended. The Hawks have played only two of their 12 games at home, the last over two weeks ago. And they have 22 points out of 24 possible. I think the atmosphere will be similar to the 2010 Stanley Cup Finals. The fans are ready to explode.
ReplyDeleteThe most interesting thing about reading Steve Rosenbloom is actually feeling your soul die little by little.
ReplyDeleteI am a recent convert to the Faith, having grown up in Northern California before the Ducks or Sharks existed. Even though I am not a Leafs fan, I have respect and admire the team's traditions ever since witnessing (on TV) the final game played at Maple Leaf Gardens in 1999, and the postgame ceremonies. That respect was further cemented when I read your posts about the 17 Greatest Wendel Clark Moments. As it turns out, the quintessential "No-Quit" exemplified by Clark is what draws me to hockey in the first place.
ReplyDeleteYour site is great, and the humour (note Canadian spelling) if terrific--I especially enjoyed the posts with Chis Pronger references--BOO-yah!
Respectfully,
Das Rhino
You had me at the caption. Outstanding!
ReplyDelete