Monday, May 3, 2010

Other Daniel Carcillo lies

"Flyer fans will react rationally to this post
in the comment section. Ha, lied again!"
Tonight's game two of the Flyers/Bruins series included a controversial first period play that saw Daniel Carcillo flop to the ice clutching his head after a Steve Begin hit to his shoulder. Combined with his attempt to draw a high-sticking penalty against the Devils in the first round after being struck in the hand, Carcillo is quickly earning a reputation as one of the league's most notorious fakers.

Now Carcillo is certainly not the league's only diver, and some might argue that he's simply doing his job -- trying to gain an advantage for his team through any means possible. But sadly, these two incidents haven't happened in isolation. League sources have told me that this is actually part of a pattern of habitual dishonesty on Carcillo's part.

A quick review of recent incidents seems to support that. Here are just ten more recent examples of Daniel Carcillo's lies.
  • Has described his facial hair as a "child molestor's moustache", when it's actually more of a "child molestor's van dyke".

  • Has been heard referring to the Philadelphia Flyers as "a tough but honorable team with a reputation for playing the game the right way", when in fact that was only true up until March 4, 2009.

  • Upon hearing "Free to Be" during a pre-game warmup in Toronto this year, referred to it as "not the worst song I've ever heard".

  • Told officials that he had been bitten by Marc Savard during a first period scrum tonight; in actuality, Savard has been taking all his meals through a straw since early March.

  • Told the Hockey News his favorite movie was Old School; is actually Fritz Lang's 1922 silent classic Dr. Mabuse der Spieler.

  • Was once overheard describing the Potvin/Hextall fight as "a draw".

  • During a poker game on a team flight, once bet out like he had hit his flush on the river when he totally hadn't.

  • Swore to Scott Hartnell that he had no idea why Jeff Carter's toothbrush kept turning up in his bathroom.

  • During the last few months of the Flyers season, frequently pretended he knew what that backup goalie's name was.

  • When asked tonight by reporters if the Flyers can still win their series against the Bruins, replied "yes".




89 comments:

  1. The Hextall thing is his worst sin. If you disagree, you are WRONG.

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  2. I know you hate carcillo, and he was a retard again today ... but this was a reactionary post, and wasn't your best work !!

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  3. I would call his facial hair more a dirtstache than anything else. He needs someone with a washcloth to wipe it off.

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  4. Worst Piece of Shit Ive ever read

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  5. your all big and tough... just wait until the flyers even the series on Friday... you gonna hop of the bandwagon then or are you gonna wait until Monday when the Bruins lose again?

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  6. @Anonymous...

    Current plan is to wait until Monday, but I reserve the right to change my mind.

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  7. pretty sure car bomb is on a playoff team- this year- and last year. i guess fans of the blue and white forgot hockey season isnt over after 82 games.....

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  8. Why do you guys call him Car Bomb? Was Train Wreck taken? Or is that his mother's drink of choice while she was pregnant with him? Sure would explain a lot. Keep up the good work DGB

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  9. Good old Zorro-stache is a health hazard. He's a real Carcillogen.

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  10. They were tough but honourable until June 12th, 1969 when they drafted Bobby Clarke and the Hammer Schultz.

    Love the toothbrush line ...

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  11. Cryers fans are out in full force.

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  12. Did this get immediatley posted on a flyers forum?

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  13. What's happened to you? You got popular and it's gone to your head and now you're comparing a hockey player to a child molester. Disgusting.

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  14. What I get from this I'd that your jealous your team isn't in the playoffs
    2 your mad cause he'll knock any one out on your team
    3 your 30 and can't grow facial hair ( it's a throw back stache to honor the bullies) dumb ass
    4 Carter does suck cock but Hes a great player.. Soo basically you suck at life dude.. Your a blogger.. Like really that's all you have to do with your life is talk shit on people that shit on your life in every aspect? You should play in traffic for a little.. See how it goes

    And I'm not anonymous
    David schwartz jr Philly born and raised.. Come see me

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  15. Wow Flyer fans are pretty sensitive eh?

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  16. "2 your mad cause he'll knock any one out on your team"

    Yeah, with chloroform.

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  17. Schwartz jr,
    "2 your mad cause he'll knock any one out on your team
    3 your 30 and can't grow facial hair ( it's a throw back stache to honor the bullies) dumb ass"

    I'd LOVE to see Carcillo vs. Orr, or Carcillo vs. Schenn.
    Carcillo growing the 'stache to honor the bullies is like playing Nickleback at a Rolling Stones tribute. if you're gonna honor someone, don't suck at it

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  18. Can't criticize yourself for being on the outside looking into the playoffs... Stay classy Toronto fans.

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  19. Wow this stuck a nerve!

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  20. looking at the comments, all I can think is GO FLYERS!!!1

    /throws battery
    //drinks mad dog

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  21. @LD

    You forgot

    ///puke on an 11 year old girl

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  22. @skinnyfish: dammit, I knew I forgot something

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  23. Man if Philadelphia fans are this upset over chirping the Flyers, I'd hate to see their reaction if somebody spoke ill of alcoholism.

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  24. so which Flyer fan is going to fall into the penalty box trying to fight DGB?

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  25. Love the post, especially the toothbrush line. Even better are the flailings of the Philly troglodytes who can sure dish it out but absolutely cannot take it.

    Boston is doing you a favor, guys. If you win the series, you potentially face being humiliated and launched by the Pens for the third year running.

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  26. Long time lurker, first time commenter. Great job as always Sean. Showing why you still are the best comedy blogger out there. You have even managed to make a Red Wings fan love the old Leafs teams :D

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  27. I'm really hoping Philly wins this series, that way Carcillo can fight Talbot again and provide us all the momentum we need to make it to the finals again.

    LET'S GO PENS

    FLYERS SUCK ASS




    I BANGED HARTNELL'S WIFE.

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  28. I'm really hoping Philly wins this series, that way Carcillo can fight Talbot again and provide us all the momentum we need to make it to the finals again.

    Another Carcillo lie: Described the Talbot fight as "the best decision I ever made."

    I BANGED HARTNELL'S WIFE.

    Really, though, who hasn't?

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  29. Can't criticize yourself for being on the outside looking into the playoffs

    Because DGB never criticizes the Leafs. Or pokes fun at them. EVER.

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  30. @Louie wins comments:

    Man if Philadelphia fans are this upset over chirping the Flyers, I'd hate to see their reaction if somebody spoke ill of alcoholism.

    (wipes tear)

    bravo.

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  31. David schwartz jr Philly born and raised.. Come see me

    Bullshit you are. I'm David Schwartz Jr. though I was only born in Philly not raised.

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  32. Lay On the Ice Like a Broad BellowsMay 4, 2010 at 9:55 AM

    Bobby Clarke bathes in semen.

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  33. I love that you wrote this on the same day I posted the Hextall/Potvin photo.

    Still, this one remains my favorite:

    http://vintageleafs.blogspot.com/2009/08/reason-bobby-clarke-is-missing-all.html

    Go Flyers!!!1

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  34. @ LD

    You also forgot
    \\\\ stabs fellow fan.

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  35. The Flyers' fans comments on this post will hereafter be known as "conclusive proof that SOME of the unemployed, slack-jawed alcoholic troglodytes wearing orange and white have learned to read."

    Of course they've missed the point entirely (particularly like the idea that they are chiding DGB for allegedly not having a sense of humour about his own team in between spewing reactionary profanity in defense of one of the leagues' most notorious jerks), but let's not be too hard on them; reading comprehension is difficult. Eating all that paste is bound to cause a certain amount of brain damage.

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  36. BesterThanYesterdayMay 4, 2010 at 10:14 AM

    Carcillo is like a much less classy Darcy Tucker, when Tucker was a wild, raging animal for us.

    The difference is that Tucker was clearly a human being and not a survivor of Jim Rome's "Clones Gone Wild".

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  37. I don't understand how all of these Flyer fans have internet access, when I'm pretty sure the entire city is homeless.

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  38. I love Flyers fans for their unabashed hatred of the English language. Or should I say; I luv flyerz fanz 4 there unab..una...unb...STOOPID HATERZ BE TRIPPIN GO FLYERS!!!1

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  39. my goodness, looks like you hit a philly nerve there, DGB. keep it up!

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  40. No matter how much you complain, it won't change the fact that your last memory of the Leafs in the playoffs is the image of JR (another of your hated players) celebrating on your home ice. Hopefully someday you can tell your grandkids what it was like to watch playoff hockey.

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  41. David schwartz jr Philly born and raised

    In West Philadelphia, born and raised? Was the playground where you spent most of your days?

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  42. Someone needs to teach Flyers fans the distinction between 'your' and 'you're'. I usually don't touch grammar when it's someone from Philly (lost cause) but when you can't even make sense of what's being said...

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  43. "...playing the game the right way", when in fact that was only true up until March 4, 2009."

    What? Riley Cote, Steve Downie, Randy Jones, Hartnell on Alberts in '07... acutally, those were all in '07 I think? I dont know if this team has ever been honorable...

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  44. This is glorious.

    Loved the Marc Savard and goalie ones, haha­.

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  45. Sounds like these Philly fans could have used a few more hugs and a few less shots from Tasers when they were young.

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  46. Someday I'm going to produce an anger-management program designed specifically for children and make a fortune selling it to the Philadelphia school district.
    Go Flyers!!!!!1

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  47. I agree with Curt S. If you can't pass 7th grade English, then your opinion is pretty much as worthless as your grammar skills. Of course, if your idea of a witty rebuttal is, "Oh yeah, well, you SUCK", then you're probably still in 7th grade, so I might cut you a little slack.

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  48. Nice post Carcillo is a major league hack and big time douche bag.

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  49. I'm just one man on here who loves DGB but I'm sure there are more just like me. If you are like me and were offended by David Schwartz's blind love for the Orange and Black (Did he really say Carcillo would knock out anyone on the Leafs? Really? Have a you watched a hockey game Schwartz? Colton Orr youtube clips are more frightening to children than the boogeyman) here's a link to the douchebag's Facebook page where you can find out such insightful information as
    a) I get bent
    b) He doesn't hit women but isn't afraid to smack a bitch.
    c) He works for his Dad's construction company.
    d) He's hated the Leafs ever since his dad fell into the penalty box and was mauled by a bear wearing a #28 jersey.

    Mr. Ben

    I made d) up....maybe.

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  50. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  51. @Mr. Ben...

    Thanks for the support, although I took out the facebook link.

    I'm sure our friend David can take just as much as he dishes out, but no need to pile on a guy just because he didn't like a post here.

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  52. 3 stars for the post, however the sheer entertainment of reading the Flyers' fans posts brought it up to a 5.

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  53. I'm so glad I didn't read this until today. The predictions of a Philly victory on Monday are so very fun to read after they've already lost.

    I will say I put Carcillo's moustache soundly into the category of "Terrible but Awesome."

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  54. i just basically wrote the same thing about daniel carcillo in an email i sent to my friend this morning. and to think i thought the hockey gods were looking down on him. that notion was redacted right after i saw him put his hand around savvy's neck. daniel carcillo=keeps all the good will you will ever have for him in check and on the back burner forever burning. i mean matt cooke is disgusting. boogard was a pest. domi=pest...wait now that i think about it after saying tucker is an ugly pest i think domi has to be a pest since after all tucker-domi were always two peas in a pod, kessler=pest, tucker=ugly pest, brashear and laraque=pretend pests, carcillo=uber ugly frustrating pest. the guy can actually play hockey even if he always drove gretzky nuts with his whole tough guy always taking dumb penalties act. that was when he was a horrible skater. daniel carcillo is not worth a full post, even if he is leading the pretend flops in this post season. he makes some of the floppers on the habs look tame.

    interesting cryers fans commenting here. oooo and "come see me"...yeah so he can get you to laugh about how bad the leafs are and maybe about how the flyers suck. what gives flyers fans so much internet courage? also have you ever read dgb? the leafs are numero uno on the hit list since forever. the funniest thing about the post season is all the other fans who think that since the leafs aren't in the post season, leafs fans or people in toronto or southern ontario (minus ottawa since it is hell on earth)all of a sudden lose the right to voice their opinions. well wake up hockey fans. if you don't know already toronto is the center of the earth. torontonians have huge egos, and before you believe any of that shit fuck yourself. just because the leafs suck doesn't mean we can't shit on all other teams and doesn't make our comments any less significant than that of the cryers and the bruins and all other fans in the league (phoenix and atlanta doesn't count because the fans in those cities aren't year long full fledged supporters of their teams). and the only true thing you need to know is that yes some crazy leafs fans take themselves too seriously. most leafs fans not only shit on themselves but on other teams and cities as well. now grow up flyers fan and wake up from that infectious smell coming from daniel carcillo's mustache. it's called turdaxe--good for every event, including flopping moments when playacting isn't necessary.

    good post dbg. the hextall line got me.

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  55. During the last few months of the Flyers season, frequently pretended he knew what that backup goalie's name was.

    I'm a Flyers fan, this is funny shizzle. The dbags who don't laugh at it are dbags (self-explanatory). They also took personal offense to the Bruins ads saying dont date a Flyers fan even if she shaves her mustache. Which was funny shizzle, for the Bruins.And not many could name all 7 goalies who suited up for us this year.

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  56. I am a Flyers fan and I thought this post was hilarious.

    To the other Flyers fans who just came on here and needlessly bashed this post, this post is a thing called humor. It is not meant to be taken seriously, just make people laugh.

    This is my first time commenting but I have been reading for awhile. This post was gold. Keep up the good work DGB!

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  57. I could only imagine how bad anyone who freaks out over this would feel about being down 0-2. Luckily that'll never happen. Oh.

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  58. Oh man these comments made me go from 6 to 12!

    I can't imagine how these Flyer fans would react if you actually said something bad about Mr. Molestache.

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  59. You forgot "No one who participates in the DGB site is a mean-spirited idiot with an axe to grind against the Flyers".

    Seriously though, as a Flyers fan with a sense of humor, I did get a couple chuckles out of the list. Although it did seem a bit more mean-spirited and specifically-directed than most DGB humor.

    I guess from the article and comments that Carcillo must be one of the most hated players in the league. That's good - means he's earning his paycheck. But I wonder where all this hatred for him was before he got traded to the Flyers...

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  60. When asked if the maple leaves would make the playoff in this decade, he responded with and enthusiastic yes

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  61. Look at all the Broad Street Bullies fans who come out to support their boy Carcillo while he takes dives that make soccer players look like hard-nosed warriors. Wonder how Ian Laperriere(sp?) feels about it, given that he blocks three shots a night with his face alone. Quite the contrast on that Flyers team. Keep it up DGB, you rule man. Go Leafs Go.

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  62. I really wonder what Dave "the Hammer" Schulz thinks of this whining, diving, yapping clown. Is this the legacy of the Broad Street Bullies?

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  63. your just jelus because in phillie the thug are more crazier ,
    they'll shoot someone at a bus stop to get in first, unlike wher u live i remember someone said to another "hey i was there first, oh im sorry you can go" in phillie "hey i was in line, B!tch, wat?! (gun in the head)BOOM!, thought so ." you has so much balls go and drop a hockey jersery in the hood and see wat happens

    Go Flyers!

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  64. Even though I'm a Rangers fan, I've loved Carcillo since he played for Phoenix, it didn't change when he went to the flyers. Still like this post, Carcillo is like Avery, born to be hated by the opposing teams fans and players. The more bashing he gets, the better =)

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  65. awesome cherry rip into carcillo. i mean old man don cherry is crazy most times but he sure is hilarious and right when he's lucid.

    also you wonder where all the hate was for daniel carcillo? are you joking me? are you a philly or yotes fan is probably the better question. daniel carcillo has always had a target on him. it's probably because he plays with a huge chip on his shoulder and he's insecure because he thinks it's the world against him when that's not the case. the guy needs to grow up even more than he has. this isn't about him being a pest to get a paycheck. the guy has been this way palying junior hockey and all through the ahl. he better be aware of the hockey gods.

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  66. Carcillo beat Cindy Crosby up and stole that mustasche fair and square.

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  67. "But I wonder where all this hatred for him was before he got traded to the Flyers......"

    Well, before the Flyers he was playing for Phoenix. Until this season, Bin Laden could have been playing on the Coyotes first line and nobody would have noticed.

    But let's not pretend the Carcillo backlash has anything to do with the Flyers. The problem is that he's morphed into another Avery, Ruutu, Kaleta, Ott or Neil. None of those guys play for Philadelphia, and everyone hates them too.

    If anything, I'm more disappointed since like I said in the post, the Flyers used to be a team that didn't play like this. Oh sure, they were dirty. But they didn't flop and dive and roll around and cry. That's the sort of thing fans hate, whatever jersey the guy is wearing.

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  68. These are hilarious, especially the toothbrush and the van dyke "lies."

    Carcillo is the main reason I'm cheering on Boston. I'll even cheer for Cindy Crosby if it means ejecting Carcillo et als from the playoffs.

    I only feel sorry for Betts, who's too much of a class act to be on the Flyers.

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  69. Carcillo could not hold Stevie Diverman, excuse me, Yzerman's tiara. Though he is as good of a liar as Probert was trying to make his way through customs. F.U. Bettman!

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  70. haha dont listen to some of these clowns, this was a great post. loved the bit about carter and hartnell.

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  71. Carcillo's just pissed 'cause I'm doin' his mom.

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  72. saddest part is that if the flyers lose, it will be to the goalie the leafs traded for raycroft, and kept pogge instead of. just think if the bruins win the cup(not likely), not only will rask be the #1 but they will still get the #2 overall. the leafs are single handedly rebuilding the bruins

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  73. Ha, I love absurdly disproportionate reactions. Great as always.

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  74. Wow. Did the wardens give Flyer fans extra computer privileges this week? These dumb comments trying to defend an even dumber player are hilarious.

    Oh, and I guess this series with Boston isn't going so well for you Philly phans, is it?

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  75. Does anyone actually go to school past fourth grade in Philly? Or to put it in characters that they'll understand....duz anee 1 go 2 skul past 4th graed in Fillie?

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  76. Dear Mr. Goes Brown


    I would like to thank you for your blog and hilarity that is the Flyers fans responses.


    Yours truly,

    weirdoh

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  77. Carcillo, by the way he loves to pull teeth out, you'd think he could be a part-time dentist.

    www.ehteamsports.wordpress.com

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  78. This is amazing. DGB is funny as always, but angry Flyer fans are HILARIOUS.

    "YEAH OUR CITY'S BETTER BECAUSE WE SHOOT PEOPLE AT THE BUS STOP"

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  79. The fact that another Leafs fan knows who Fritz Lang is both shocks and pleases me.

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  80. I guess that last "lie" really blew up

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  81. Hmm lots of comments that DGB is retarded and knows nothing about hockey, but not really any that refute that Carcillo dives all over the place and isn't very good at hockey...

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  82. Is this shit serious? None of this shit was Carcillo lying. I wish he'd read this so he'd destory you in a fight. That's the truth.

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  83. all these comments about how the series isn't looking good for the flyers seem about as premature as patrick kane's facial hair right about now. none the less, hillarious post.

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  84. lolz didn't the bruins lose their 3-0 series lead, and the series???

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