pretty much every summer."
But I have a few exceptions, and one is for family. That's why I'll always support the Penguins winger Chris Kunitz. As the Official Cousin of DGB, Kunitz gets a steady dose of karma. After all, he has the same aunt and uncle as my wife. Or maybe it's a grandparent. Or something. I wasn't really paying attention. But the point is: We're practically brothers!
So I do cheer for Chris Kunitz. And you know what? You should too. Because even if he's not vaguely kind of related to you, he has a lot going for him. Here's a list of some of the reasons you should join me in the unofficial Chris Kunitz appreciation society.
- Whenever he feels the need to "accidentally" stomp on the back of somebody's leg, is always considerate enough to minimize impact by choosing a player who couldn't possibly get any slower anyway.
- When playing Xbox at Sideny Crosby's place, he always makes sure to keep his voice down so that Old Man Lemieux doesn't come down and start yelling at everyone in his bathrobe again.
- As a practical joke while in Anaheim, once convinced Ryan Getzlaf not to bother shaving his head since the bald spot wasn't really all that noticeable.
- As a teenager, somehow managed to stay focused on his hockey development despite the many distractions and temptations available to a young man growing up in rural Saskatchewan.
- Wins the Stanley Cup pretty much every year.
- As part of expanding team leadership role, volunteered to explain to a confused Alexei Ponikarovsky that even though the regular season was over the team still had more games to play.
- Hockey historians believe his all-time NHL record for "most times being involved in a waiver claim involving the Anaheim Ducks and Atlanta Thrashers" may never be broken.
- Has never, as far as we know, ruptured anyone's testicle.
- If economists' worst fears are realized and the global economy spirals into a period of hyperinflation, eventually his $3.5M salary won't seem all that bad.
- Can't really prove this, but my guess is that he'd know how change a flat tire in less than 40 minutes.
- If the Penguins win another championship this year, he's privately pledged to receive the Stanley Cup, skate a few strides with it, and then immediately use it to beat Matt Cooke to death at center ice.
- You just know that he's eventually going to be responsible for the most memorable mispronunciation of Bob Cole's career.