What’s the most important trade in NHL history that didn’t happen?

Last​ week, we had​ some​ fun​ with​ a few​ of​ the contenders​ for the title​ of second most​ important​ trade ever made.​​ These weren’t just the biggest trades in terms of the talent involved on the impact on individual teams – they were the deals that actually changed the course of NHL history.

But to paraphrase the old cliché, sometimes the most important trades are the ones you don’t make. So what about those? What are the most important trades in NHL history that didn’t happen?

Now clearly, we could get a little silly here. Wayne Gretzky for Mario Lemieux was a huge trade that wasn’t made. Same with Rocket Richard for Gordie Howe, or Sidney Crosby for Alexander Ovechkin. Any one of those deals would have changed the course of history, but none of them happened. There’s also no evidence that any of them were ever even discussed, so it feels ridiculous to spend any time thinking about them.

But there have been other blockbuster non-trades that really did come close to happening, or at least seemed that way at the time. So today, let’s look at eight deals that didn’t happen, but that we know were at least considered. I’ll give you a legitimate source for the trade and you let me speculate wildly about the rest. Do we have a deal?

If so, we’re one step ahead of these teams. But a few of them at least came close. Here are eight contenders for the most important NHL trade that didn’t happen.

1992: Eric Lindros to the Rangers

The trade: The Quebec Nordiques send Lindros to New York in exchange for cash, draft picks and a package of players including names like Tony Amonte, Alexei Kovalev, Sergei Nemchinov, James Patrick and John Vanbiesbrouck.

Unlike many trades-that-weren’t, this one was actually a done deal. The problem is that it wasn’t the only Lindros trade the Nordiques made that day.

The source: There’s some question over the specific names involved in the deal; for example, Mike Richter occasionally shows up instead of Vanbiesbrouck. But we know the Rangers and Nordiques had a deal of some sort, because it was at the center of the arbitration case that transfixed the hockey world during that 1992 offseason.

Why it didn’t happen: Blame Larry Bertuzzi. The NHL arbitrator ruled that the Nordiques had made their deal with the Flyers first and would have to abide by it.

But what if it did?: If Bertuzzi sends Lindros to New York – which is what most observers had expected at the time – then we change the next decade or more of history for at least three franchises. The Flyers don’t get Lindros, but they also don’t dismantle their team to do it, and they hold onto the rights to Peter Forsberg. The Rangers land the biggest prospect in NHL history, but might not have enough depth left over to win the Stanley Cup in 1994. And without Forsberg turning into one of the best two-way centers ever, the Nordiques/Avalanche might not win it all in 1996 and 2001.

As for Lindros himself, he’d have had the chance to start his career while playing behind and learning from the player he was most often compared to, Mark Messier. And maybe he avoids all the off-ice battles that defined his time in Philadelphia.

1962: Frank Mahovlich to Chicago

The trade: Maybe “trade” isn’t the right word. This one was a sale. Specifically, the deal would have seen the Maple Leafs send Mahovlich to the ‘Hawks in exchange for $1 million.

The source: This one was splashed all over the front page of sports sections around North America in the days after the deal, given that the two teams had agreed on it and word leaked out to reporters. The story has since been repeated often; here’s a detailed look back from NHL.com.

Why it didn’t happen: The deal was struck between Leafs co-owner Harold Ballard and ‘Hawks owner James Norris during a late-night meeting in which they were, in the words of immortal Toronto sportswriter Milt Dunnell, “fortified by the gargle.” In other words, they were both hammered, and that led to some second thoughts on the Leafs side, with Stafford Smythe claiming that “we never rolled a drunk yet and we don’t have to start now.”

That noble high-road stance lasted for all of a few days, at which point the Leafs realized that there was a million dollars on the line. They tried to rekindle the deal, but by that point Norris’ brother Bruce had talked him out of it.

But what if it did?: Mahovlich and Bobby Hull were the two best left wingers of the era, and this trade would have put them both on the same team. If the ‘Hawks didn’t go bankrupt from the payout, they almost certainly would have challenged for another Cup or two over the decade to come. And the Leafs may not have won the three more Cups they’d capture with Mahovlich, including that famous 1967 win.

But the trade’s impact would have been even bigger, not just in the NHL but throughout the sports world. The $1 million price tag wasn’t far off from what some teams made in ticket sales in a year, and would have been unprecedented for a single player – as Stan Fischler put it a few years ago, imagine Sidney Crosby being sold for $95 million today. The sale would have redefined how professional athletes were viewed, and would’ve probably made it much tougher for owners to hold down salaries on what would now be million-dollar assets.

>> Read the full post at The Athletic

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A look back at the classic Kings/Leafs game seven, 25 years later

The Stanley Cup final got underway last night, with the Vegas Golden Knights making their first appearance in franchise history. That’s not bad for a team that didn’t even have a roster one year ago. And it might suggest that making it all the way to the final isn’t all that big of a challenge.

As a counter-point, we have the Toronto Maple Leafs.

The Leafs, of course, haven’t been to a Cup final since 1967, a fact that serves as a source of angst for Toronto fans and a source of non-stop punchlines for just about everyone else. But while the team has occasionally been known to take a decade off every now and then, there have been times when the Leafs came close to ending their drought. And they were never closer than they were exactly a quarter-century ago.

Today marks the 25th anniversary of one of the most memorable games in modern Maple Leafs history: Game 7 of the 1993 Western Conference final against the Los Angeles Kings. The game took place on a Saturday night at Maple Leaf Gardens, and saw the Leafs face Wayne Gretzky and the Kings for the right to play the Montreal Canadiens for the Stanley Cup.

It did not go well for Toronto, with the Kings earning a 5–4 win to punch their ticket to the first final in franchise history. You knew that, of course. But to mark today’s anniversary, let’s look back at that game with 10 fun facts about that historic night. Well, “fun” here will be relative — if you’re a Maple Leafs fan, some of these memories won’t be all that much fun at all. But you’re used to that, so let’s dive in.

1. The Hockey Night in Canada broadcast started with the single greatest montage in hockey history

The pregame montage is a tricky thing. You want to get fans hyped for the game they’re about to see, but not go so far that you oversell it. You want to set a dramatic tone without drifting into the histrionic or maudlin. You want to relive all the key moments in the series so far, highlighting the main characters and unresolved storylines. You want, if at all possible, to use the theme music from the move Hoosiers.

Some montages work, some don’t. The one that ran in the moments before Game 7 was a masterpiece of the genre. So before we get into what happened that night, let’s set the stage:

OK, I’m ready to start flipping over cars. Let’s get to the game. (Spoiler alert: This is about where the good news ends for Leafs fans.)

>> Read the full post at Sportsnet

The ten best Maple Leaf playoff games of the last 30 years

The Toronto Maple Leafs are back in the playoffs. You may have missed it – it was a pretty small story that didn’t get much media attention. But it’s true. Tonight, the Leafs make their return to the post-season, facing the Washington Capitals in the opener of their first-round series.

So today, let’s mark the occasion by looking back on some of the Leafs’ best post-season moments of the last 30 years.

Yes, I can hear you now, mumbling a punchline about this being an awfully short list. And it’s true, the Leafs don’t exactly have the most distinguished track record of consistent post-season excellence. But they have had a few decent runs, more than enough to put together a top 10, even if we’re going to have to lean on a few distinct eras.

(Spoiler alert: There’s going to be a lot of 1993, and if you’re a Senators fan you should probably just hit the back button right now.)

To be clear, this is a list of the best Maple Leafs playoff games from the Toronto fan's perspective. But if you're one of those fans on the other side of the fence, don't worry – we'll be back next week with a top 10 list of the worst Leafs playoff games. By then, there's a good chance it will even have one or two Washington games on it.

But we'll save the misery for next week. For now, the Leafs and Capitals are tied and it's all about the good times. We'll start the countdown roughly 23 years ago…

No. 10: 1994 Western Conference semi-final, game six: Maple Leafs 3, Sharks 2 (OT)

The 1993–94 Leafs' playoff run has an odd legacy. It's one of their deepest in the last few decades, and featured several memorable moments. But it had the misfortune of coming directly after the 1992–93 season, so it's often remembered like a decent sequel that had no chance of living up to the original.

The second round of that 1994 playoffs served up a valuable lesson to Leafs fans who were starting to get a little cozy with playoff success: Beware the underdog. The Sharks had just pulled off a major upset over the Red Wings to win the first series in franchise history, and figured to be easy fodder for a veteran Leafs team. Instead, they took Toronto right to within one Johan Garpenlov crossbar of elimination.

A lucky Mike Gartner bank shot in sudden death extended the series, and the Leafs won game seven two nights later. Most playoff overtime wins are euphoria; this one was just relief.

No. 9: 2000 Eastern Conference quarter-final, game five: Maple Leafs 2, Senators 1 (OT)

The first playoff matchup in the Battle of Ontario seems almost quaint now. There was none of the bad blood or controversy that came to define the rivalry, and even diehard fans of both teams probably don't remember all that much about the six-game series.

But if there's an exception, it came in game five. The home team had held serve through the series, but the Senators were on the verge of stealing one, holding a 1–0 advantage in the dying minutes of what had been, in all honestly, a dreadfully dull game. That's when Steve Thomas scored late to tie it up, and the two teams proceeded to play a frantic overtime that went back-and-forth until Thomas ended it.

The Leafs finished things off in Ottawa in game six, with the last goal of Wendel Clark's career serving as the winner.

>> Read the full post at Sportsnet

Ranking 50 years' worth of fun Maple Leafs teams

The 2016–17 Toronto Maple Leafs season has the team’s fans spewing the f-word. But for once, it’s the positive version: These guys are… fun.

We don’t really know if they’re good yet. They’re certainly better than they’ve been in years, and probably far better than just about anyone predicted. They’re holding down a playoff spot, sure, but have also lost more games than they’ve won, so the jury’s still out.

But fun? There’s really no debate. This year’s Leafs are young, fast and play high-event hockey, even when their coach doesn’t want them to. Love them or hate them, there may not be a team in the league right now that’s more entertaining to watch.

Maple Leafs fans haven’t had many great teams to cheer on over the last half-century. The team hasn’t won a Stanley Cup since 1967, which is a fact that you might be familiar with if you’ve studied your history and/or ever spoken to anyone who doesn’t like the Leafs for more than three seconds. Since then, Leafs Nation hasn’t even had a trip to the final to cheer about.

But when it comes to fun teams, Leafs fans have enjoyed a few. Not as many as other teams, maybe but enough to fill up an arbitrary list.

So today, let's make that list, by counting down the top 10 fun Maple Leafs teams since that 1967 championship.

No. 10: 2012–13

Fun is relative. When a team is consistently good, fans can start to get a little spoiled, somehow finding things to complain about even as their team rumbles its way to yet another 100-point season. (Yes, we're all looking at you right now, Blackhawk fans.)

The flip side is that when things are bad, you take whatever fun you can get.

That's why this season cracks the list, if only barely. Sure, finishing third in your division in a lockout-shortened season isn't much to brag about. But when you've suffered through seven straight years without a playoff appearance, you'll take it. And this really was an entertaining team, one that had Phil Kessel doing Phil Kessel things, a breakout season by Nazim Kadri, strong goaltending from the perpetually chipper James Reimer, and a lineup full of face-punchers who were always doing face-punchy things.

It all added up to a rare playoff berth. And despite going into their matchup with the Bruins as underdogs and falling behind 3–1 in the series, the Leafs scrapped back with a pair of hard-fought wins to force a seventh game.

I PVR'ed that game and haven't watched it yet, so nobody tell me how it ends.

No. 9: 1989–90

A rare appearance on our list by a season from the 1980s comes from the only Leafs team of the decade to so much as finish .500. But this team was a sneakily entertaining entry, one that finished third in the league in both goals scored and goals allowed.

They were still the Maple Leafs, so I don't need to tell you that it ended badly. They went out meekly in the first round of the playoffs, losing in five to the Blues in a series best remembered for Allan Bester giving up Sergei Momesso's overtime goal from outside the blueline. Far worse, this was the season that GM Floyd Smith decided it would be a good idea to trade a future first-round pick for journeyman defenceman Tom Kurvers, costing the team a shot at Eric Lindros and Scott Niedermayer.

But there was a bright side. The season's breakout star was winger Gary Leeman, who became the second player in franchise history to score 50 goals. He'd never come close to that total again, but that temporary boost in value would pay big dividends for the team in a few years.

>> Read the full post at Sportsnet

Team Canada's WJC entry has no Maple Leaf prospects. That's probably for the best.

The world junior championship will officially get underway on Monday, and Team Canada has been playing exhibition games all week as they look to rebound from a disappointing showing last year.

If you’re a Maple Leafs fan with an eye on the future, there’s not all that much to get excited about at this year’s tournament. Nikita Korostelev will be there for Team Russia, as will Jeremy Bracco for Team USA. But with eligible players like Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner already lightning it up in the NHL, there won’t be much of the Leafs’ future on display. And there won’t be any Leaf prospects at all on Team Canada.

Honestly, that might be a good thing. While Team Canada has had its ups and downs over the years at the WJC, it’s rarely had anything in the way of good news for Leaf fans. In a good year, the team wouldn’t carry any Toronto prospects at all. In a bad year, they’d find a creative way to punch Leaf fans in the gut.

Today, let’s relive some of that trauma with a look back at the various ways that Team Canada has made Leaf fans sad.

***

1991

We’ll start our history lesson back in the 90s, since before then it was relatively rare to find Leafs property at the world juniors. That’s because back then, most Leaf prospects were rushed into the NHL lineup right away, which is why players like Wendel Clark and Luke Richardson only made appearances before they were Maple Leaf property. We did get an early peak at names like Russ Courtnall and Gary Leeman in the early 80s, but not many Canadians were paying attention then.

They were by 1991, though, and for most of the nation that year’s tournament stands as a classic. It came down to a final-game gold medal showdown with the Soviets, one that Canada won on a late goal by the immortal John Slaney. It marked the first time in Canadian history that they’d won back-to-back gold medal.

But if you were a Leafs fan, the tournament was… well, let’s say bittersweet. For one, this was the year that Eric Lindros truly arrived as the most dominant prospect in the world, living up to his status as the presumed top pick in the 1991 draft. That should have been good news for the Leafs, given that they were terrible. But they’d already traded that pick in a disastrous trade that would leave them scrambling to claw their way out of last place overall. They eventually would, just barely, and ended up missing out on another Canadian star from this tournament in Scott Niedermayer.

The Leafs did have a prospect of their own on Team Canada. That would be Scott Thornton, taken third overall in the infamous 1989 draft that saw Toronto load up on Belleville Bulls. He was on loan from the big club after scoring just one goal in 23 games; it would be the only goal he’d ever score for the Leafs, as he was part of the Grant Fuhr trade package a few months later.

Meanwhile, the Leafs came away impressed by another Canadian prospect, one who tied with Lindros for the team lead in goals. That was Mike Craig, who’d they pluck away from the Stars a few years later in a terrible RFA signing.

There was one bright side to the tournament, although you’d have to look hard to find it at the time. While Trevor Kidd got six of the seven starts in goal, a Leafs prospect did manage to earn the back-up job and get into a single game. That was a kid named Felix Potvin, who ended up being pretty important in a few years.

>> Read the full post at TheAthletic

Ranking the Team North Americas through the years

The World Cup is just days away, and much of the recent buzz has been around Team North America. The new entry, made up of some of the game’s brightest young stars, has already beaten Team Europe in a pair of exhibition games.

They’re fast, they’re skilled, their uniforms are kind of cool, and they’re gaining credibility as a dark horse to make some noise, if not win the whole thing. It’s all led to talk that the Team North America concept, originally thought to be a one-time deal, could end up becoming a permanent fixture in future World Cups.

But today, let’s forget about the future and turn to the past, with what could make for a fun hypothetical: What if there had always been a Team North America? What if every Canada Cup and World Cup had featured a team of the best 23-and-under Canadian and American players of the day?

Let’s find out. We’ll go back over each of the seven Canada and World Cup tournaments, and figure out what a Team North America roster would have looked like.

First, some ground rules. We’ll use the same criteria that the 2016 tournament is using, meaning players have to be 23-or-under as of October 1 in the year the tournament is held. As with this year, we’ll allow players who don’t have NHL experience, but limit the roster to players who’ve at least been drafted.

As best we can, we’ll ignore the benefit of hindsight and try to go by a player’s reputation at the time of the tournament, meaning some late-blooming stars may be passed over. And to keep it simple, we’re going to pretend that everyone is healthy and available.

(All research for this post was conducted using the tools at the indispensable hockey-reference.com.)

We’ll count the seven teams down from worst to best. And as it turns out, that means we’ll begin at the beginning.

No. 7 – 1976

Up front: There are some recognizable names here, including Bryan Trottier, Lanny McDonald and Clark Gillies, but it’s not a star-studded group. Despite being in the middle of the record-breaking 70s, we’ve got only one 100-point scorer, and it’s Pierre Larouche.

The blue line: Denis Potvin is the big star here, not to mention the team’s best player. Ian Turnbull would be there too. And since the real-life teams decided to allow WHA players, we will too, which lets us scoop up Mark Howe.

In goal: There’s not a ton to choose from; we’re probably rolling with John Davidson as our starter and hoping we don’t need to turn to a backup.

Worth noting: This would really be a Team North America in name only; other that Howe, I’m not sure a single American would make the squad.

Overall outlook: They’d have been fun to watch, but there’s just not enough talent here to compete with the world’s best.

No. 6 – 2004

Up front: We have to go back over a decade for the last World Cup, which means we just miss out on the Sidney Crosby era. But we do pick get to include players from the ridiculously stacked 2003 draft, one that’s often considered one of the best ever.

The biggest name would be Rick Nash, who’d just won a share of the Rocket Richard as a teenager. He’d make a nice first-line combo with soon-to-be Senator teammates Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley. It gets thin after that, though, with big names like Joe Thornton and Vincent Lecavalier just missing the cutoff, and the team wouldn’t have a 60-point scorer.

The blue line: A solid group, one likely built around Jay Bouwmeester, Dan Hamhuis and John-Michael Liles.

In goal: In theory, this would be considered a strength, since you’d have the only two goalies since 1968 to go first overall in Rick DiPietro and Marc-Andre Fleury.

You’d likely see DiPietro as the starter, given that he was coming off a decent year and wouldn’t be widely considered a bust until a few years (and one big contract) down the road.

Worth noting: That 2003 draft class doesn’t end up helping as much as you’d think it would.

Patrice Bergeron makes the team, and maybe Dustin Brown does too. But future stars like Shea Weber, Ryan Getzlaf, Dion Phaneuf, Ryan Suter and Corey Perry were all still waiting to make their NHL debut, so it’s unlikely you’d see any of them on the team.

Overall outlook: It’s not a bad squad, but it’s impossible to look at it without thinking about how much better it would be if we’d have had even one more year to work with.

>> Read the full post at Sportsnet

Grab bag: Go lick peanut butter

It's the return of the Friday Grab Bag, featuring:
- A big photo of Gary Bettman's new beard
- A spoiler for the Flames arena deal
- What the hell was Denis Potvin talking about with the Sedins and peanut butter?
- The week's three comedy stars
- My demand for an NHL Red Zone channel
- And the time Brett Hull scored his 500th goal. Then didn't. Then did again...

>> Read the full post at Vice.com

Let's all openly root for a Rangers/Islanders playoff matchup

Last night's NHL schedule featured a pair of games within the New York city limits, with both the New York Rangers and New York Islanders playing host. The results were mixed, featuring a win and a loss for the home teams. This was good news, and we'll get to that in a minute.

At Madison Square Garden, the Rangers snapped the Edmonton Oilers' six-game win streak, taking the lead on a Rick Nash goal late in the second and then holding on through the third before icing the win with an empty netter in the final minute. The victory avenged last week's shootout loss in Edmonton.

Meanwhile, in Brooklyn, the Islanders were dropping a 5-1 decision to the Florida Panthers. The result wasn't necessarily surprising -- the Isles were at the end of the dreaded three-games-in-four-nights stretch -- but still had to feel like a missed opportunity to gain some ground on the idle Washington Capitals. The loss snapped a three-game Islanders win streak, and allowed the Rangers to leapfrog them into second place in the Metro.

In other words, if you're a hockey fan, the night went just about perfectly. Stay with me, Islanders fans, because you know I've always had your back.

Here's the deal: We want the Islanders and Rangers to spend the rest of the season fighting back and forth for second and third place in the Metro. No, scratch that: We need that to happen. There's no room here for either team to get red hot and surge into first, nor can either slump badly and plummet down to fourth. No, they need to keep doing what they did last night: play a nice game of leapfrog with second and third spots, and leave the rest of the division alone.

>> Read the full post on ESPN.com

When goaltenders attack

The Montreal Canadiens are off to a great start. They’re the league’s only undefeated team at 7-0-0, just about everyone on the roster is playing well, and they’re on top of any set of power rankings you can find.

But all of that pales in comparison to the undisputed highlight of the season: Carey Price doing this to Chris Kreider.

It’s worth remembering that there’s some history here. Two seasons ago, Kreider ended Price’s season in an ugly collision during the conference final. So was this payback? Price denied it, but nobody believes him. It’s just more fun to assume it was on purpose, because goalies attacking players never fails to be awesome.

So today, we’re going to flip through the pages of history and offer up some advice for those goalies out there who might want to exact a little revenge of their own. We won’t include any goalie-on-goalie violence, partly because it doesn’t fit the theme, and partly because goalie fights deserve a post of their own someday. No, today is about goalies lashing out at everyone else — especially those big shots in their fancy skates and comfortable pads, always scoring goals and sucking up glory and getting hats thrown at them. They could use a stiff trapper upside the head.

And luckily, history has provided us with plenty of examples of just how a jilted goalie could go about it. There are a dozen distinct ways for a goaltender to go on the attack, and we’re going to review them all.

The “Accidental” Bodycheck

The move: Skate behind your net. Wait for an incoming opponent to try to cut by, knowing he’s not allowed to touch you. Then drop your shoulder into his chest and send him flying.

The master: Carey Price, apparently. Who knew?

Let’s watch it again, this time in GIF form:

Carey Price’s Revenge pic.twitter.com/WOPM5yFA2Y

— Stephanie (@myregularface) October 16, 2015

So good. But you have to wonder: Wherever did an upstanding young Montreal goaltender learn this sort of anti-Ranger behavior? Oh. Oh, right.

Pro tip: The hit itself is nice, but I think we can all agree that it’s the stare-down afterward that really makes it.

The Retaliatory Punch After a Collision

The move: It’s one of those unwritten rules of goaltending: If a player collides with you, even accidentally, you’re legally allowed to do pretty much anything you want to them for a period of five seconds.

The master: Literally everyone. I don’t care who the goaltender is — as soon as he’s knocked over, all bets are off. Anytime a player goes hard to the net and you hear a whistle, there’s a good chance the next thing you see will be an enraged goaltender awkwardly crawling on top of him with arms flailing. It appears to be an instinctive territorial thing. If you strapped a set of pads on Mother Teresa and somebody accidentally slid into her and nudged her legs, she’d be all “%&#*@#$% needs to eat some blocker!”

This rule applies outside the crease as well, by the way. I’ve always been partial to Don Beaupre’s swinging backhand.

Pro tip: Don’t feel like you have to aim for the face. Remember, this is a free shot; it’s OK to get creative.

>> Read the full post on Grantland

RIP Al Arbour

For me, the first thing I’d think of were the glasses.

That’s a weird thing to remember about a man who indisputably owns a spot on the Mount Rushmore of hockey coaching. But before he stepped behind the bench and built a legendary career as the second-winningest coach in league history, Al Arbour was a solid but unspectacular stay-at-home defenseman who bounced between four NHL teams and various minor leagues over an 18-year pro career. He scored 12 goals in 14 NHL seasons, won four Stanley Cups with three different teams, and was eventually appointed the first captain of the expansion St. Louis Blues in 1967. Arbour, who passed away on Friday after a lengthy battle with Parkinson’s, was also the last NHL player to play the game while wearing glasses.

Al Arbour was the last NHL player to wear glasses on the ice. Because he simply did not give a fuck. #OldSchool pic.twitter.com/8m5ov79xdy

— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) August 5, 2015

Glasses have long been the internationally recognized sign of the non-threatening; one pair was enough to allow even Superman to pass for a mere mortal. But on an NHL rink, wearing glasses somehow made Arbour look like the ultimate badass. How tough do you have to be to step onto the ice looking like that? How few craps do you have to give to walk into a world of flying pucks and fists and elbows, and be so unintimidated that you don’t even bother to remove your specs?

>> Read the full post on Grantland

The Heavyweight Belt of NHL Rivalries

The Championship Belt is one of my favorite recurring Grantland features, having covered everything from NFL quarterbacks to MLB pitchers to action movie heroes. But we’ve never broken it out for hockey, even though it feels like a natural for the sport. That ends today. After all, it’s the offseason, which is one of the times during the year that hockey fans like to argue with each other.

But for what? We could go with the obvious, like handing out a championship belt for the best player or top goaltender, or maybe best team. We could even do the championship belt of the actual pugilists, from Dave Schultz to Bob Probert and beyond. In fact, let’s be honest, we’re absolutely going to do that last one someday. But that day is not today.

No, today we’re going to crank up the degree of difficulty with something a little trickier: the heavyweight belt of NHL rivalries. Hockey has always been made for inspiring hatred between teams; it’s practically why the game was invented. But at any given time in league history, which one rivalry reigned supreme?

First, a few ground rules. We’re looking for rivalries between teams — there’s no individual category here. We’re also limiting this to NHL rivalries, so we won’t be including international rivalries like Russia vs. Team USA, Russia vs. Canada, and Canada vs. Sad Americans Getting Silver Medals.

So what makes a rivalry? This being hockey, bad blood will obviously be a key factor, but it’s not the only one. We’re looking for some staying power — one random brawl won’t be enough to earn the crown — and the stakes matter, too. Two teams may hate each other, but if all they’re fighting over is last place in their division, it’s probably not much of a rivalry. Finally, we’ll invoke what we can call the Ric Flair rule — to be the man, you have to beat the man, so in the case of any close calls, the reigning champ keeps the belt.

Sound good? Then, as legendary enforcer Dave Semenko would say, let’s go for a canoe ride. Anyone want to help set the mood? Ah, yes, I see we have a volunteer.

Thanks, Tie. Let’s head back a few decades, and start at the beginning.

The Original Six era: Canadiens vs. Maple Leafs

Two key points here. The first is that this is a fairly easy call, since the Leafs and Habs were the two best teams of the era. They combined for the most Stanley Cups, they met in the most finals, and they had the best regular-season records. In a six-team league where everyone is a rival to some degree, this is the one that always stood out.

The second point is that, somewhat surprisingly, this is the last time we’ll see this particular combination show up on our list. While the Leafs-Habs rivalry is to this day considered by many to be the greatest in hockey, that’s almost entirely based on history and their rabid fan bases, as opposed to anything that’s happened on the ice. That’s largely because the teams last met in the playoffs in the ’70s, and then spent almost two decades in different conferences, not to mention that the Leafs have been terrible for much of the past 35 years. They nearly met in the Stanley Cup final in 1993, which would have been insane, but it didn’t happen, and despite some recent near misses they’ve yet to meet in the playoffs since. If they ever did, they would probably take the belt back by default, but that’s a debate for another day.

Leafs-Habs will always be an important rivalry, even if it’s just simmering under the surface, and a Saturday matchup between the teams should be on every fan’s bucket list. But if it’s still considered the greatest in the sport, that’s more out of force of habit than anything, which is why the belt won’t be returning here in the post-1967 world.

Runners-up: Wings vs. Hawks, Habs vs. Bruins, and the other 12 rivalries that were even possible in a six-team league.

1968-1973: Bruins vs. Canadiens

Now here’s an Original Six rivalry that didn’t miss a beat once expansion arrived. These teams combined to win each of the first six Stanley Cups of the post-expansion era. The first three of those were anticlimactic; thanks to the league’s ridiculous decision to put all six expansion teams into one division and guarantee one a berth in the final, Montreal and Boston got to take turns stomping the overmatched Blues from 1968 to 1970.

When they weren’t rolling the Blues, they were often facing each other in the playoffs, with the Canadiens winning all three matchups during this era. The best of those came in 1971, a seven-game classic that featured Montreal’s memorable comeback win after trailing 5-1 in Game 2.

Runners-up: Canadiens vs. Black Hawks, Blues vs. North Stars, the NHL’s divisional formatting vs. common sense.

1974-76: Flyers vs. Rangers

You couldn’t do a list like this without prominently featuring the Broad Street Bullies. The question is who to pair them with, given the Flyers were hated by just about every team in the league (and even beyond). In fact, it’s tempting to just say “Flyers vs. Everybody” and be done with it.

But that feels like a cop-out, so let’s give the other spot to the Rangers, the team that came closest to derailing the Flyers during their back-to-back Cup-winning years in 1974 and 1975. That came in the 1974 semifinal, when the teams met in a seven-game classic in which the home team won each game, and which featured enough animosity that even dropping the puck for a simple faceoff ended up being an adventure.

Runners-up: But seriously, the Flyers vs. Everybody.

1977-79: Bruins vs. Canadiens

Boston and Montreal regain the title thanks to a pair of meetings in the Stanley Cup final, both won by Montreal. But perhaps the most famous moment of the rivalry’s long history comes in 1979, when the teams met in the semifinal (with a slam-dunk finals matchup against the Rangers awaiting the winner) and played one of the most famous Game 7s the league has ever seen.

Runners-up: Rangers vs. Islanders, which was just getting started. Speaking of which …

1980-82: Rangers vs. Islanders

This is one of those classic rivalries that has to find its way onto our list somewhere. While the teams had been division rivals since the Islanders entered the league in 1972, and had met in the playoffs for the first time in 1975, the rivalry as we know it didn’t really begin until 1979. That was the year Islanders defenseman Denis Potvin broke the ankle of Rangers forward Ulf Nilsson, all but ending the latter’s career as a productive NHLer and leading to the introduction of perhaps the most famous chant in NHL history: “Potvin sucks.”

The teams faced each other in the playoffs that season, with the Rangers winning in six. That would be the last series the Islanders lost for almost five full years, as they launched into a dynasty that saw them win four straight Cups from 1980 to 1983. Along the way, they faced (and beat) the Rangers every year from 1981 to 1984. That was the last time the Isles would beat the Rangers in the playoffs, although their fans would still get another decade of use out of the withering “1940” chant.

>> Read the full post on Grantland

Grab bag: We've reach Peak P.K. Outrage

In the weekly grab bag:
- The week's three, er, two comedy stars.
- All P.K. outrage, all the time.
- Rick Nash's depressing capgeek page.
- The maximum choas theory of missed goals
- A Jets draft bust. No, the other Jets.
- And new Flyers' GM Ron Hextall stars in the YouTube breakdown. I bet you can't possibly guess which game.

>> Read the full post on Grantland

Grab bag: "I'm just not that type of player," says that type of player

In the grab bag: NHL teams being strange for the holidays, the Florida Panthers struggle with the concept of "glass", in defense of Boston Bruins fans, how to tell is a guy is really "that type of player", yet another edition of Don Cherry wildlife story time, and a video breakdown of an old school Leafs/Wings donnybrook.

>> Read the full post on Grantland

A brief history of the Conference Finals

Ever the sportsman, Chara decided he wouldn't hit the
guy until he’d given him a chance to stand up.

The Conference Finals are underway, and so far they haven't exactly been the most entertaining. The Penguins and Bruins may be headed for a sweep, and the Hawks and Kings have so far served up a predictable series of home team wins. While there's still time for some excitement, so far the two series haven't served up much.

That's unfortunate, and it's also at least somewhat rare. Over the years the Conference Finals have often proven to be the most interesting round of the NHL playoffs, and have featured some of hockey's most enduring moments.

Let's take a look back through the NHL history book at some memorable Conference Finals matchups.

1979 - Don Cherry's Bruins take a too-many-men penalty during game seven against the Habs, which must be some sort of call that they've since taken out of the rulebook according to current Penguins players who are pretty sure the Bruins have been using an extra guy this entire series.

1989 - Ron Hextall earns a 12-game suspension after charging from his net and viciously attacking Montreal's Chris Chelios. Or, as an entire generation of Philadelphia sports fans will grow to refer to it, "the most sensible thing a Flyers goalie has ever done in my lifetime".

1993 - While it's normal to want to celebrate taking a 3-2 series lead with a little bit of music, the Maple Leafs will later regret asking Wayne Gretzky if they could borrow that piano he's been carrying around on his back.

2000 - Scott Stevens cements his status as the league's hardest hitter on a devastating open ice check on Eric Lindros, and by "status" we mean "shoulder pad" and by "cements" we mean "fills with actual cement".

Read the rest of this post...

A look back at the superstar careers cut short by the last NHL lockout

How YOU doin'? Oh, right, I knocked you unconscious.

As the lockout continues to drag on, some pessimistic fans have already started wondering which players may not return if the 2012-13 season is cancelled. If the NHL and NHLPA can't figure out a way to make a deal and save the season, we may have seen the last of popular veterans like Teemu Selanne, Martin Brodeur, and Daniel Alfredsson.

Hockey fans have been through this before. When the 2004-05 season was cancelled, it cost fans the chance to see one more year from several hockey legends. Here's a look back at some of star players whose careers were cut short the last time the NHL scrapped an entire season.

Adam Oates - Retired after the lockout but attempted a brief comeback in 2009, we assume, since that's the only logical way to explain a guy with 1,400 career points not making the Hall of Fame until this year.

Al MacInnis - Decided to use some downtime during the last lockout to try out his slapshot with one of those fancy modern superfelx sticks, at which point he was immediately kidnapped by government scientists who used him to power the Large Hadron Collider.

Ron Francis - Was so well-respected during his long career with the Whalers, Penguins and Hurricanes that some fans paid tribute to him upon retirement by creating bizarre Photoshops of him wearing a Maple Leafs uniform for some reason.

Read the rest of this post...

DGB turns four

Blogs are like children. They’re a lot of work, there’s plenty of crying involved, people are endlessly fascinated with hearing all about yours, and every now and then you get the nagging feeling that you’ve forgotten their birthday.

That last one happened to me this week, but after checking a calendar I realized I was in the clear. It turns out that today is the fourth anniversary of the launch of this site. That very first post was a recap of a Leafs win over Montreal, because it was four years ago and beating the Canadiens still seemed kind of newsworthy back then. Ah, memories.

Once again, a sincere thanks to everyone for your continued support. Every time you stop by to read the latest, or pass a link on to your friends, or check in on facebook or twitter, or frantically race to the comments section to tell me about a typo you fund, you make it all worthwhile.

Stay tuned for some interesting site news in the next few months. In the meantime, here are the ten most popular posts from the past year:

1. A detailed look back at game seven, which due to a scheduling error had to be published twelve hours early (June, 2011) – As accurate today as the day it was published.
   
   
2. The official map of an NHL rink (April, 2011) – Mad photoshop skills, yo.
   
   
3. The Matt Cooke suspension hearing (March 2011) – Hey, remember when Matt Cooke used to randomly hit people in the head and then we’d all argue about the suspension? Those were good times for those of us in the hockey comedy business. Come back, Matt. We can make this work. (Quietly hums “Didn’t We Almost Have It All” while staring wistfully at picture of Matt Cooke’s elbow.)
   
   
4. Winners and losers at the NHL’s midseason mark (January 2012) – The beauty of the winners/losers format is that it virtually guarantees that at least a few commenters will completely miss the point and get really upset at how their team was ranked.
   
   
5. A review of NHL 12 (September, 2011) – This year, after four years of doing these, they finally sent me a free copy. And they said blogging wouldn’t pay.
   
   
6. A hockey fan’s guide to the World Series (October, 2011) – Enjoy it now while the joke about the Rangers never winning anything is still timely.
   
   
7. What an official NHL trade call sounds like (February, 2011) – Fun fact: “Brian Burke with tie done up” is the only google search in the English language that returns zero results.
   
   
8. Hidden NHL playoff injuries revealed (June, 2011) – I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to find that image. Totally worth it.
   
   
9. Winners and losers at the NHL draft (June, 2011) – This is the infamous “Mike from Philadelphia” comment thread that still gets referenced today.
   
   
10. The biggest free agent signings of 2011 (July, 2011) – They said you couldn’t work in a reference to the Hextall/Potvin fight and Robert Esche’s neckbeard in the same punchline. They were wrong.

A look back at the musical wonder that was 1994's "The Joe Bowen Rap"

Holy Mackinaw, boyyeeee.

What do you get when a billion-dollar corporation commissions a safe, watered-down, committee-approved song to serve as an anthem for their last-place team? Well, as Leaf fans know, you get "Free To Be", although we also would have accepted "two ear drums punctured by the nearest pencil".

But what do you get when you combine an exciting team, an aspiring rapper with access to recording equipment, and the passion of a true diehard Maple Leafs fan? You get just about the greatest song ever recorded.

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time since 1994, The Joe Bowen Rap by Young Offender:

Read the rest of this post...

Ron Wilson sings "Reimer"

Bloge Salming and I made this for you. May god have mercy on our souls.

RSS readers, click here.

You can also view this video at TheScore.com's Houses Of The Hockey blog. Visit blogesalming.com for more hockey fun.

Dear son, welcome to life as a Leaf fan

The horror...

Last month my wife and I welcomed our first son to the world. Like any proud father, I didn't want to waste any time teaching him the important values that I hope he'll carry with him throughout his life. So a few days ago, I sat him down for a very important discussion.

Hey little guy. Wakey wakey. Daddy wants to share something very important with you.

Do you see this friendly looking blue thing right here? That's a Toronto Maple Leafs logo. It probably looks familiar, since there's at least one on every item of clothing you own right now. And that's because you're going to be a Maple Leafs fan, just like your dad.

I want to tell you all about the Leafs. I want to teach you about Dave Keon and Borje Salming and Mats Sundin and Teeder Kennedy. So let's look through daddy's old scrapbook together and I'll tell you all about it.

Look, here's a picture of George Armstrong. He was called "Chief". He's scoring the clinching goal into an empty net to beat the Montreal Canadiens. Look how happy everyone looks! Do you see all the people cheering? They're happy because they just saw the Leafs win their most recent Stanley Cup.

What's that? No. No, there's aren't any pictures of this that are in color.

Because they didn't have color photography back in 1967, that's why. Well I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. Look, if you want to see them in color so badly, go ask your sister if you can borrow her crayons.

Hey, come on now little buddy, stop crying.

It's not like Leaf fans haven't had anything to cheer about since then. Let me tell you about 1993. That's the year that the Leafs went on a magical run and almost made the Stanley Cup finals. They had Dougie Gilmour's spinorama and Felix Potvin's brilliance and Wendel Clark punched out Marty McSorley's eyeball. It was probably the greatest stretch of hockey I've ever seen.

Yes, that's right, 1993.

Well of course that seems like a long time ago to you, you're two weeks old. Right, OK, I guess that was 17 years ago, sure. Nice math skills, Archimedes, do you have a point?

I said stop crying!

Look, I never said being a Leaf fan was going to be easy, OK? But I'm not raising you to be some sort of front-running bandwagon jumper who elbows his way to the head of the line when the team is winning and then bails out as soon as times get tough. The world already has too many Senator fans.

No, you're going to stick this out until the bitter end, and here's why: It will be worth it some day.

If you don't believe me, ask a Chicago Blackhawks fan. They hadn't won a Stanley Cup since 1961, but that all changed this season. For a few years they finished in last place just like the Leafs, but now they have a roster full of young stars that they drafted and their team is …

What? No. No, the Leafs can't just go out and do that too. Because they don't have any draft picks, that's why. Because they gave them all to another team, OK? I don't know, because it seemed like a good idea at the time!

No, daddy is not crying. Hey, isn't there an episode of The Backyardigans you should be watching?

Look, kid. I know it seems hopeless. I know it even seems a little bit cruel to raise you as a Leafs fan. I know that whenever you see Daddy thinking about the Leafs he's making angry faces and muttering mean words and drinking from one of his special grownup bottles.

But here's the thing, son: Some day, the Leafs are going to win the Stanley Cup. It won't happen this year, or the next, or even the one after that. But it will happen one day. And when that day arrives, all the near misses and the lost seasons and the jokes and the blown calls and the sleepless nights will just make it all that much sweeter.

When that moment comes, some day a very long time from now, you're going to appreciate it in a way that only a true fan can. Because you'll have earned it.

That's why you're going to be a Leaf fan, son, whether you like it or not. But if those nice folks from Children Services ask, you chose this of your own free will, OK?

Now let's go get you changed. I think somebody made a Toskala in his diaper.

From The Archives: The DGB Leafs/Kings game six liveblog

Spoiler alert: This guy plays a role

"From the Archives" is a new feature that will examine famous moments in hockey history by revisiting the original DGB blog content that covered them. Today's post is from May, 1993.

Wait, what? A blog archive from almost 20 years ago? That's right. A lot of you kids don't know this, but sports blogging has been around for a long time.

Well before the internet even existed, diehard sports fans like me were posting our thoughts for the world -- it was just done a little bit differently than today. For example, back in the day we "blogged" by writing in longhand in pen in a spiral notebook. If you wanted to add a photo, you cut one out of a magazine. When you were done, you "posted" your content by taping it to your front window. If other people liked your work, they would link to it by drawing an arrow pointing to your house and taping it to their own window.

Not many people noticed what you wrote, but occasionally somebody would wander by and read a few words. Then they'd usually roll their eyes, ring your doorbell, wait for you to open the door, and then drag you into the street to beat you up. So in that sense, not much has really changed.

So anyway, let's dive into the DGB archives. Today we'll travel back exactly seventeen years ago - May 27, 1993. The Toronto Maple Leafs are in Los Angeles, playing the Kings in Game Six of the Western Conference final. The Leafs hold a 3-2 series lead and are one win away from meeting the Montreal Canadiens in the Stanley Cup finals. And a young DGB was liveblogging every moment.

We'll pick up the action late in the third period, with the Leafs trailing 4-3.

1:38 a.m. - Wow, is it ever late. I guess that's what happens when you've got a west coast game that doesn't start until 11:00 in the east. If this game goes to overtime I'm going to be completely exhausted tomorrow. I hope I'm not too sleepy for football practice, given my role as the star quarterback. I'd hate to disappoint my loving and devoted girlfriend, every member of the cheerleading squad.

1:40 a.m. - Hey, still, these late games are way better than playing in the middle of the afternoon, am I right? Man. I don't know why NBA fans put up with that.

1:42 a.m. - OK, back to the game. The Kings are still holding on to their one-goal lead. The Leafs look exhausted, which I suppose is to be expected. After winning two consecutive seven-game series, they're now playing their 20th game in 39 nights. It's a stretch of games that's literally unprecedented in NHL history, and you have to figure they're running on fumes.

It would have been nice for them to get some rest during this run, but then again what's the league supposed to do -- take a week off in the middle of the playoffs for no reason? Good luck sustaining any interest if you did that.

1:45 a.m. - Leafs still trailing. I know I shouldn't look ahead, but I can't help but think we'd have a great chance against the Habs in the finals. Don't get me wrong, the Habs are a great team and will no doubt be making regular appearances in the conference finals for years to come. But they've also been on an incredible streak of good luck -- they've won an amazing seven straight OT games this post-season. Seven! There's simply no way that can continue in the next round.

I guess what I'm saying is I don't see the Habs beating either of these teams in the finals unless something completely miraculous happens.

1:46 a.m. - Hey, totally off-topic, but have you noticed how Marty McSorley never seems to get any air under his shots? I have a friend who works on the Kings' equipment staff, I'm going to call him up after this series and suggest Marty start using a bigger curve on his stick.

1:48 a.m. - Two minutes left. It's now or never for the Leafs. If they're going to make history tonight, somebody has to step up right now.

1:49 a.m. - Felix Potvin stops a Kings 3-on-2 with 90 seconds left. He quickly plays it up to Gilmour, then heads for the bench. The Leafs are pressing as Wendel Clark hits the ice as the sixth attacker. Dougie finds him with a seeing eye pass... and Wendel is all alone at the top of the circle!

1:49 a.m. - Clark winds...

1:49 a.m. - Clark shoots...

(Editor's note: The notebook's next few pages are stuck together. Skipping ahead a bit.)

1:53 a.m. - (Extinguishes cigarette.)

1:55 a.m. - Wendel Clark is simply unstoppable tonight. That was his third goal, and they've all been beauties. This might be the greatest game of his career. Hell, it might be the greatest game of any Leaf's career, ever. He's single-handedly willing the Leafs into the finals, and there's not a damn thing the Kings can do about it.

Mark my words: the Leafs are winning this game in overtime on their first even-strength shift.

1:57 a.m. - Holy crap... Glenn Anderson just drove Rob Blake headfirst into the end boards in the dying seconds of regulation. He got two minutes for boarding, and the Kings will start OT on the powerplay.

Now look, some Leaf fans are going to complain about a penalty being handed out this late in a crucial game. But I'm going to defend the referee, whoever that is tonight. What Anderson did is a penalty. Period. It's right there in the rulebook. And you have to call it, even if it's an important game. Nay, you have to call it because it's an important game. The rules are the rules, and you can't ignore them just because you have to make an unpopular call.

1:58 a.m. - Turns out the referee tonight is Kerry Fraser, by the way. Just making a note of it for the sake of completeness, I'm sure it won't end up being important.

2:00 a.m. - And we're into the intermission.

2:10 a.m. - Ugh. CBC is killing time before OT by showing us a bunch of Habs propaganda. They're doing features on some of their all-time greats. It's pretty standard stuff, although I did learn one thing: Did you know that former Habs tough guy John Ferguson has a son who was dropped down a flight of stairs as a baby, fifteen different times? Inspiring story. I wish them all the best.

2:12 a.m. - So nervous... We're one goal away from a trip the Stanley Cup finals. We just need to kill this penalty.

2:15 a.m. - And we're back. Here goes nothing.

2:17 a.m. - My god. Wayne Gretzky just high-sticked Doug Gilmour right in the face! Dougie is bleeding all over the ice. I don't have to tell you what that means: It's going to be five minutes and a game, since that's what the rulebook says and is how it's been called every single other time it's happened all year.

2:18 a.m. - I mean, I really can't overstate how incredible this turn of events is. Wayne Gretzky is going to get kicked out of this game. They'll play four-on-four for a few more seconds, and then the Leafs will have an extended powerplay.

2:18 a.m. - Look, not to get ahead of myself here, but good God almighty, the Leafs are going to score on this powerplay. There's no doubt in my mind. Wendel is unstoppable tonight. He's going to score, the Leafs are going to win the game, and then they're going to play the Montreal Canadiens for the Stanley Cup. I am literally seconds away from experiencing what will no doubt stand as the greatest moment of my young life.

2:19 a.m. - Hm, it's taking a lot longer than usual to call this penalty.

2:19 a.m. - One more thought while they clear up whatever minor procedural matter is causing this delay. This highsticking major on Wayne Gretzky, the announcement of which is no doubt a mere formality, is going to go down as one of the most stunning calls in NHL history. It will be discussed for decades. And Kerry Fraser is going to be the one to make it.

Imagine how he feels right now. With 20,000 fans in the building and millions more watching on TV, he's been handed a chance to make one of the toughest calls in league history. This is the moment that every official in every sport dreams of. This exact moment is why you ever pick up that whistle in the first place.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: For the rest of hockey history, whenever you hear the phrase "Cowardly referee who stares down the biggest call of his career and chokes on his whistle and then lies about it", you will immediately think: "The exact opposite of Kerry Fraser".

2:20 a.m. - Um, why is Wayne Gretzky taking the faceoff?

2:20 a.m. - WHY IS WAYNE GRETZKY TAKING THE FACEOFF???

2:20 a.m. - Oh god, he didn't call it. He didn't call it he didn't call it he didn't call it he didn't call it...

(Editor's note: That goes on for several dozen pages. I'm just going to skip ahead.)

2:22 a.m. - Hockey gods? Can we talk?

Look, I understand what's happening here. Kerry Fraser just refused to call an obvious penalty that could have helped send the Leafs to an historic showdown with the Canadiens for the Stanley Cup. I see what you're doing, and I know where this is going. I know the Leafs are going to lose this game now. Every Leaf fan knows it. In fact, there's really no reason to string us along. You might as well just have the goal happen right now.

But first, just one request: Have it be somebody other than Gretzky who scores, OK? Anyone but the guy who's still got Dougie's blood on his stick. That's not to much to ask, is it?

I'm so young and full of hope right now. My whole life as a hockey fan is spread out before me. So much optimism. So much possibility. And I can't help but feel like this could be a turning point, hockey gods. If you let Gretzky score right here, I'm going to have to go ahead and assume that you hate Leaf fans and want us to suffer forever. And I don't know if I could handle that.

But I do know this: I really don't want to turn into some bitter, burnt out Leaf fan who rants about things that happened a generation ago in a way that starts off funny but gradually just makes everyone around him uncomfortable. Don't let that happen to me, hockey gods. Please.

Just not Gretzky. Anyone but Gretzky.

2:23 a.m. - Of course.

2:24 a.m. - I will not cry. You will not get that satisfaction, hockey gods. Not tonight.

(Editor's note: The next few entries are hard to read. I must have spilled a glass of water on them or something.)

2:32 a.m. - You know what? This isn't the end of this series. Sure, it's a terrible way to lose. Sure, it will probably cost Kerry Fraser his career because even the zero-accountability NHL wouldn't try to defend this level of incompetence and will no doubt fire him first thing tomorrow morning.

But I'm not going to let this get me down. After all, I still have a lot going for me. The Blue Jays continue to dominate against smaller markets like Boston. Letterman's new show will debut soon and wipe Leno off the air for good. And Chinese Democracy should be out by the end of the year.

And most important of all: There's still game seven, Saturday night at the Gardens. The Leafs still have a shot. They may win. They may lose. But they still have a shot.

And I'll tell you this much: Wayne Gretzky just used up a lifetime worth of luck tonight. If he's going to be a factor in game seven, he better be ready to play the best game of his career. Because if there's any justice left in the world, his days of lucky fluke goals are over.

Leafs in seven, baby. They're winning this series, and then they're beating the Habs. The dynasty begins now. The Maple Leafs are winning the Stanley Cup.

Because, man... god help me if they don't.