The Price is wrong

The magic hockey jersey could
predict a player's post-season GAA

Clearly, the big story in the Habs/Flyers series so far has been Carey Price. There's no nice way to say it, the kid looks very shaky right now.

That said, if the Toronto media has taught me anything it's that the Canadiens organization is smart and wise and can always be counted on to make the right move.

So don't fear, Habs fans. I have no doubt that they'll make the obvious decision, and switch to Cristobal Huet for game four.

If MLSE made their own beer

The comment section for my last post ended up being sidetracked by a discussion over what would happen is MLSE went into the booze business. This was frustrating for me, because the post was clearly intended to be sidetracked into a discussion of Al Bundy quotes.

Nevertheless, I have to give my readers what they want. So with a tip of the cap to Navin, Loser Domi and Jaredoflondon, here’s my view of what would happen if MLSE decided to make and market their own brand of beer.

• Richard Peddie would hire a brewmaster who had no experience making beer
  
  
• Every bottle produced would have to be taste-tested by each director at the next regularly scheduled board meeting and approved with a majority vote
  
  
• Each case would come with one outstanding Swedish premium brew... but for some reason the beers on the left and right of it would always be terrible.
  
  
• Every year, the beer would be ice cold from October through February, warm up unexpectedly in March, go completely flat in early April and be discontinued by spring
  
  
• The McCabe Lager would come with its own can opener
  
  
• The Tlusty Pale Ale would be refreshing, but the front label keeps slipping off
  
  
• The Colaiacovo Pilsner bottle would shatter as soon as you took it out of the case
  
  
• When you tried to take the empties back for your deposit, you’d find out that half the bottles came with a no-returns clause
  
  
• You’d always have to drink straight from the bottle, since nobody involved in making it would have the slightest idea how to lift a cup
  
  
• You'd spend all your time thinking "This sucks, but at least I don't have to drink that swill they make up in Ottawa".
  

Burke staying in Anaheim

I'm a Leafs fan and a Leafs fan only until the day I die (which will be this summer, by the way, of self-inflicted head wounds when we don't get Brian Burke).
- Me, from a post two weeks ago

Well, full credit to the hockey gods. They ball-kicked us much earlier than expected on this one.

Burke is apparently not going anywhere, according to TSN.

Is Oprah right?
Are you a big fat woman?

I remember the episode of Married With Children where Al is looking for an obscure record of a song he can hum but not name. At the end of the episode he finds a store that specializes in exactly what he wants, but they tell him they can't help him. He reacts by looking skyward, smiling knowingly, and asking "Not even this, huh?"

That's how I feel. Not surprised. Not even disappointed, somehow. Just vaguely annoyed at myself for getting suckered in in the first place.

There's a very small part of me that's almost eager to see how badly the Leafs will screw this up now. At least that would bring entertainment value. Who's the worst possible candidate they could settle on? Muckler? Healy? I know, what about bringing Ferguson back? You could make him wear a paper bag with a giant frowny face at all times.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go look for a shaving mirror and a hammer.

The Ten Most Memorable Game Seven OT Goals

Welcome to the club, Joffrey Lupul.

With his goal tonight, Lupul became the 30th player in NHL history to score in overtime of a game seven. Time will tell how this one will be remembered, but in the meantime here my picks for the ten most memorable overtime game seven winnners in NJL history.


#10 - Dale Hunter
Capitals vs Flyers
1988 Patrick Division Semifinal

Playoff warrior Dale Hunter scores on a nifty breakaway move. Revenge would come 20 years later.




#9 - Andrew Brunette
Wild vs Avalanche
2003 Western Conference Semifinal

While the goal was memorable for Brunette and the Wild, it will probably be best remembered for ending the career of Patrick Roy.




#8 - Stephane Matteau
Rangers vs Devils
1994 Eastern Conference Final

The ugliest goal on the list by far, but certainly memorable. Fun fact: According to ESPN Classic, the 1994 post-season is the only one ever played in NHL history.




#7 - Pat Lafontaine
Islanders vs Capitals
1987 Patrick Division Semifinal

Definitely not the prettiest goal on the list, but one that ended what was at the time the fifth longest game in league history. Long OT games have become more common during the dead puck era, but in the 80's a quadruple overtime game was virtually inconcievable.




#6 - Nikolai Borchevsky
Maple Leafs vs Red Wings
1993 Norris Division Semifinal

This is probably the most memorable goal of the post expansion era for the Maple Leafs, whatever that tells you. The Leafs were emerging from Harold Ballard's reign of terror, but despite the additions of Doug Gilmour and Pat Burns weren't really taken seriously as a contender. (For more on the unintentional comedy goldmine that developed in the aftermath of this goal, read this post.)




#5 - David Volek
Islanders vs Penguins
1993 Patrick Division Finals

The Penguins had won back-to-back Cups and were coming off arguably their greatest season. To this day, I still can not believe this actually happened.




#4 - Pavel Bure
Canucks vs Flames
1994 Smythe Division Semifinal

Pavel Bure was the original Ovechkin. In 1994 the Canucks fought back from a 3-1 series deficit, winning three straight overtime games capped off by Bure's breakway goal and helicopter stick celebration in double OT.




#3 - Todd Marchant
Oilers vs Stars
1997 Western Conference Quarterfinal

A classic first round upset by the Oilers, largely thanks to Curtis Joseph's standout goaltending. His breathtaking overtime save set the table for Marchant to turn on the jets.




#2 - Yvon Lambert
Canadiens vs Bruins
1979 Wales Conference Final

This is the infamous "too many men" game (although that famous penalty lead to the tying goal, not the winner). With a weak Rangers team waiting in the finals, this game was essentially for the Stanley Cup. Guy Lafluer sent the game into overtime and Yvon Lambert won it, continiong the Habs dynasty, sending Don Cherry on the road to Coach's Corner, and making Bill Simmons' nose bleed.

For the life of me, I can't find a clip of this goal. If anyone has a link, please let me know and I'll update.


#1 - Steve Yzerman
Red Wings vs Blues
1996 Western Conference Semifinal

This one ended a 0-0 tie in double overtime. Quite possibly the greatest goal of Yzerman's career, set up by his neutral zone steal off of, of all people, Wayne Gretzky. While the long distance shot looks like a bit of a weak one at first, the replay shows it to be the perfect shot -- Yzerman practically turns the puck on its side to sneak it past Casey.

Follow the leader

This is a tale of two cities.

Two hockey teams. Two embarrassing seasons. Two fractured dressing rooms. Two (and soon to be three) coaching changes. Zero playoff wins.

And two players, the undisputed and unquestioned leaders of their respective teams, who apparently don't deserve an ounce of blame.

In Toronto, the Maple Leafs have just suffered through a third straight season without a playoff berth. The team is a mess, from ownership through management, down to the lame duck coach and (especially) the can't-win-when-it-matters lineup.

But fans and media agree: You can't blame Mats Sundin.

The occasionally feisty Toronto media regularly writes adoring fluff pieces about Sundin's leadership. When a critical piece does appear, such as Steve Simmons' recent and relatively mild swipe, Leaf fans react with outrage.

You can questions his teammates or his coach, and even (every once in a while) his play. But on one point, there's unanimous agreement: You simply can not question Sundin's leadership.

Why not?

It's clear that the Leafs dressing room is a mess. A group of cozy veterans refuse to waive no-trade clauses, apparently perfectly satisfied with perpetual losing. Kyle Wellwood is handed the second line center's job, and responds with a slothful offseason. Jason Blake follows a $20 million contract with an embarrassing season, then gripes about his playing time. Players young and old have mastered the art of whining and moaning their way through loss after loss, all the while spouting empty excuses about injuries or hot goalies or bad luck.

But the man everyone agrees is the team's leader gets a free pass. He's a great captain. Beyond reproach. Pay no attention to the flaming wreckage behind the curtain.

Meanwhile in Ottawa, the Senators have completed a season that may have been even more pitiful than Toronto's, if only because there were actually some expectations.

The Senators are a team in turmoil these days. The dressing room in fractured, with several young stars with big money contracts who seem more interested in living the good life than in winning hockey games. Players are late for practice, teammates fight on the ice, big money free agent signings all but beg for a chance to leave town, and as the season went on the team's stars made it clear that a full effort every night was just too much to ask.

But again, the unquestioned leader doesn't have to take a drop of the blame. Sens fans, while eager to pick apart the rest of the roster, refuse to hear a bad word about Daniel Alfredsson. Meanwhile, the media is ready to deify him.

Don Brennan all but wrote Alfie a love note, even as the Senators stumbled to an embarassing sweep. "Stop the questions" ordered Bruce Garrioch in his season wrapup, awarding Alfredsson an A+. Even Erin Nicks, usually one of the Ottawa media's few reasonable voices, used her weekly newspaper column to insist that the captain is above criticism.

Alfredsson's early return from an apparent torn MCL was certainly courageous, and worthy of the praise that the adoring Ottawa media heaped on it. But it's not unfair to point out that the so-called miracle comeback was utterly ineffective.

The night of the captain's emotional return also saw the Sens lose battles all night long, Chris Neil take three selfish penalties, and Jason Spezza quit on a backcheck on the Penguin's insurance goal. Imagine what the night would have been like without Alfredsson's aura of leadership lighting the way.

Sundin and Alfredsson may not be the cause of their teams' problems. Both are classy veterans who shine on the ice and keep their noses clean off it. Neither has had so much as a whiff of scandal or controversy. Both are clearly their team's best players, and are popular fan favorites.

But the fact remains that both are also the leaders of teams in turmoil, presiding over rotten dressing rooms populated by losers and quitters. All the fan worship in the world can't change the facts.

How many icebergs can a ship hit before the captain takes some of the blame?