Things overheard at the Hockey Hall of Fame induction ceremony

By the third time he ordered them to punch
an invisible midget, the inductees had begun
to realize the photographer may be crazy.

Last night saw four former NHL stars receive the highest honour the sport has to offer when they were inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame. Doug Gilmour, Eddie Belfour, Joe Nieuwendyk and Mark Howe will each now see their names included among the legends that line the wall in the Great Hall.

The induction ceremony capped off several days of celebration, which included the annual Hall of Fame Game, a fan forum, and a legends game. It all makes up one of the most popular weekends on the NHL's calendar, with many of the biggest names in the sport gathered to take part in the festivities.

Needless to say, my sources were there with tape recorders rolling. And they put together a list of the most interesting comments overheard during the course of the evening.

• Wow, Doug Gilmour sure is getting emotional during his acceptance speech. Wait, what do you mean you can't see him? He's standing right in front of you, Mr. Fraser.
  
  
• That's a great question, Mr. Belfour, I'm not sure why your plaque has that asterisk next to the mention of your Stanley Cup win. I'll ask the engraver, he's the guy over there in the Sabres jersey.
  
  
• Mr. Nieuwendyk, how does it feel to be the only player in NHL history to have ever been traded for Jarome Iginla? You know, until next March.
  
  
• BOOOOOOO! Oh, sorry Mr. Bettman, I saw you brush up against the Stanley Cup display and I guess it was just force of habit.
  
  
• Come quick! Mark Howe is telling some great stories about how in the old days the Flyers would respond to a tough defence by working harder instead of just refusing to play any more like spoiled toddlers.
  

Read the rest of this post...

Beyond the 1-3-1: Other NHL team defensive systems

What's the difference between a hockey
puck and Mike Richards? The Flyers will
honor a no-movement policy for the puck.

The latest NHL controversy surfaced during Wednesday night's action. Although in fairness, "action" probably isn't the right word.

Early in a game between the Lightning and Flyers, Tampa Bay settled into their patented 1-3-1 defensive system which sees all five skaters take up passive positions in the neutral zone to break up an incoming attack. The Flyers responded by refusing to advance the puck - their defencemen simply held the puck in their own zone.

The result, predictably, was a farce. The game ground to a halt, the officials were forced to repeatedly blow the play dead, and the fans who thought they had paid to see an entertaining game made sure everyone involved knew that they weren't happy. Now there's talk that the league needs to outlaw Tampa Bay's system.

But why single out the Lightning? After all, they're not the only team that employs a specific defensive system. In fact, these days most teams have their own unique ways of keeping the puck out of their net.

Here are just a few of the team-specific defensive systems currently in use around the NHL.

Boston Bruins - Attacking forwards are met in the neutral zone by a winger who attempts to use lateral pressure to direct them towards the far boards as they cross the blueline, at which point Zdeno Chara unhinges his jaw and devours them.

Columbus Blue Jackets - Winger Rick Nash forechecks deep to apply pressure, then follows the defencemen around for the rest of the shift frantically begging them to convince their general manager to trade for him.

Nashville Predators - As soon as opposing players break into the offensive zone against Pekka Rinne, Ryan Suter and Shea Weber casually skate to the bench and let Mr. Moneybags back there handle it.

Calgary Flames - Opposing players entering the attacking zone are told of the details of the Dion Phaneuf for Matt Stajan trade, and then spend the rest of the game standing around trying to figure out how that ever seemed like it would be a good idea.

Read the rest of this post...

Success stories from the NHL's opening month

"And then Ryan Smyth told me he used to have a
phone that was connected to the wall! What a joker!"

The NHL season is now a month old, and for many hockey fans that can mean only one thing: it's time to start looking for something to complain about.

After all, these days it seems like some fans love nothing more than pointing out someone else's flaws. And sure, if you look closely enough at any team or player you can always find at least one or two things that may be slightly less than perfect.

But as long-time readers know, I've never been the sort of writer who chooses to focus on the negative. So instead, let's take a look around the league and highlight some of the good news that's been on display in the early going. Consider this a negativity-free zone.

Here are some of the most inspiring success stories from the season's first month.

Joe Thornton - Showed a lot of class by apologizing to the Rangers for calling them the softest team the Sharks had played against, after explaining that he hadn't realized that intrasquad scrimmages counted too.

Ken Hitchcock - The Blues' new head coach will no doubt be wildly popular in St. Louis, a town where fans have proven to be willing to embrace a team's boss even if he's incapable of correctly operating a simple telephone.

Ville Leino - His $27 million contract with the Sabres is completely guaranteed no matter how he plays, his agent incredulously reminds him several times a day.

Dion Phaneuf - Has managed to put together an impressive season despite his recent habit of coming back to the bench after every shift, turning on his smartphone, checking for updates about the Calgary Flames, then laughing hysterically while high-fiving all his teammates.

Read the rest of this post...

A brief history of player/coach feuds

"Big silver trophy, about this wide... really, none
of you have any idea what I'm talking about?"

It's getting close to holidays, but Alexander Ovechkin and Bruce Boudreau may have crossed each other off their shopping lists based on an incident that took place earlier this week.

After Boudreau decided to bench him during a crucial shift late in the game, Ovechkin appeared to react to the news by barking some well-chosen obscenities in the coach's direction. While the two later made an effort to seem like they were on the same page, that didn't stop fans and the media from speculating about a rift that could divide one of the league's best teams.

An overreaction? Probably. But whether Ovechkin and Boudreau are feuding or not shouldn't even matter, because this sort of thing actually happens all the time. The NHL has a long history of disagreements between superstar players and their coaches, and many of them were far more serious than a few expletives uttered in the heat of the moment.

Here's a look back at some of the notable star vs. coach feuds in NHL history.

November 18, 2003 - An enraged Scott Stevens accuses Devils' coach Pat Burns of not being a first ballot Hall of Famer, before later apologizing and admitting that could only happen in a world where the selection committee was made up entirely of idiots.

October 26, 2011 - Alain Vigneault's attempt to fire up his best goaltender during a private meeting in his office is ruined by Roberto Luongo constantly knocking on the door and asking "Hey guys, what are you two talking about in there?"

February 4, 1978 - Bruins' defenceman Brad Park finds himself in the doghouse after coach Don Cherry realizes his name is completely impossible to mispronounce.

December 7, 2008 - Team captain Daniel Alfredsson request a one-hour meeting with the head coach to discuss his declining ice-time, but eventually gets tired of having to start over again every fifteen minutes whenever Bryan Murray hires someone new.

Read the rest of this post...

Some news

Hi folks... a couple of quick pieces of site news.

First, as you may have noticed there's no new post today. Starting this week, my regularly scheduled posts will be appearing on Tuesdays and Saturdays (both here and in the Post). So check back tomorrow. My apologies in advance to readers who may now be forced to pay attention in class and/or at work.

Second, I'm going to be writing a monthly feature called The NHL's Three Stars of Comedy over at Grantland. The October edition just went live, and you can check it out here. I'll also be chipping in additional Grantland posts from time to time.

Thanks again for your continued support.