Great Obscure Moments in Leafs History - That time Pat Quinn screwed up the lineup card during a playoff game

In his defence, he did write "overrated waste of money"
so the officials should have known who he meant.

Great Obscure Moments in Leafs History - An ongoing series to honor the greatest, completely meaningless moments in Toronto Maple Leaf history.

Imagine that you're the coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs…

Wait! Stop crying. We're not done with the hypothetical yet.

Imagine that you're the coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs, and it's about ten years ago. See! Much better. It's before the salary cap, the team is good, and you're in the playoffs every year.

In fact, imagine you've got a big playoff game coming up this very night. In the final moments before the teams take the ice, what do you need to do?

As best I can figure it, as coach of the pre-lockout Maple Leafs you basically have five jobs:

• Remind everyone not to bother ever coming back past the red line and helping Curtis Joseph in any way
  
• Double-check the line combinations to make sure Mats Sundin isn't playing with anyone good
  
• Tape the emergency ketchup packets to Tie Domi's forehead (Ottawa Senator games only)
  
• Stop by Richard Peddie's office to meet the candidate he's interviewing for the GM's job and wonder how they both managed to get their ties stuck in the fax machine
  
• Make sure you've successfully completely the incredibly simple task of filling out the lineup card correctly
  

Could you handle all of that? If so, you're one up on Pat Quinn, coach of the Maple Leafs squad that faced the New York Islanders in the opening round of the 2002 playoffs.

Read the rest of this post...

Chris Kunitz: The man, the legend, the (sort of) cousin.

"Oh this? Yeah I carry it around
pretty much every summer."

I generally don't root for many non-Leafs. To be honest, I'd be perfectly happy if all 29 of the other teams' planes were involved in a fiery mid-air collision, since I'm pretty sure that in a league with only one team the Leafs would have a decent chance of making the conference finals.

But I have a few exceptions, and one is for family. That's why I'll always support the Penguins winger Chris Kunitz. As the Official Cousin of DGB, Kunitz gets a steady dose of karma. After all, he has the same aunt and uncle as my wife. Or maybe it's a grandparent. Or something. I wasn't really paying attention. But the point is: We're practically brothers!

So I do cheer for Chris Kunitz. And you know what? You should too. Because even if he's not vaguely kind of related to you, he has a lot going for him. Here's a list of some of the reasons you should join me in the unofficial Chris Kunitz appreciation society.

• Whenever he feels the need to "accidentally" stomp on the back of somebody's leg, is always considerate enough to minimize impact by choosing a player who couldn't possibly get any slower anyway.
  
  
• When playing Xbox at Sideny Crosby's place, he always makes sure to keep his voice down so that Old Man Lemieux doesn't come down and start yelling at everyone in his bathrobe again.
  
  
• As a practical joke while in Anaheim, once convinced Ryan Getzlaf not to bother shaving his head since the bald spot wasn't really all that noticeable.
  
  
• As a teenager, somehow managed to stay focused on his hockey development despite the many distractions and temptations available to a young man growing up in rural Saskatchewan.
  
  
• Wins the Stanley Cup pretty much every year.
  
  
• As part of expanding team leadership role, volunteered to explain to a confused Alexei Ponikarovsky that even though the regular season was over the team still had more games to play.
  
  
• Hockey historians believe his all-time NHL record for "most times being involved in a waiver claim involving the Anaheim Ducks and Atlanta Thrashers" may never be broken.
  
  
• Has never, as far as we know, ruptured anyone's testicle.
  
  
• If economists' worst fears are realized and the global economy spirals into a period of hyperinflation, eventually his $3.5M salary won't seem all that bad.
  
  
• Can't really prove this, but my guess is that he'd know how change a flat tire in less than 40 minutes.
  
  
• If the Penguins win another championship this year, he's privately pledged to receive the Stanley Cup, skate a few strides with it, and then immediately use it to beat Matt Cooke to death at center ice.
  
  
• You just know that he's eventually going to be responsible for the most memorable mispronunciation of Bob Cole's career.

Trade Deadline 2010 Liveblog

4:00 p.m. - Burke's presser has wrapped up. No real news, although he reiterated that he'd do the Kessel deal again, that the current roster should be fearing for their jobs after last night's effort, and that Caputi will be in the Leafs lineup tomorrow.

(Update: One more minor Leafs deal: a sixth to the Penguins for prospect Chris "Nephew of Mike" Peluso.)

"Being a seller sucks," Burke says. And with that, he's done for the day and so am I. Thanks to everyone who dropped in during the day.

3:40 p.m. - Funny moment on TSN, as Bryan Murray is doing his post-deadline press conference but the network cuts away immediately as soon as Burke gets near the podium.

Burke isn't saying much of interest. He gives a heartfelt thanks to Ponikoravsky for his time in Toronto, followed by a somewhat muted goodbye to Stempniak and MacDonald. There are no other deals in the works.

Burke is now doing his well-rehearsed "Tomas Kaberle has a no-trade clause" answer. I honestly think it's word-for-word what he said earlier in the year. The news is that Kaberle's agent apparently gave a list of two teams to Burke today, but there was no deal to be made.

3:15 p.m. - Joey MacDonald, who I'd forgetten existed, has been dealt to the Ducks for a seventh-round pick. The Stempniak deal was for a 4th and 7th.

Unless there's more to come, it looks like the Leafs' haul for today is a 4th, a 5th, two 7ths, and a decent prospect.

Is that enough?

3:10 p.m. - Kaberle's agent has apparently told ESPN that he's going nowhere. That's probably a disappointment, but without knowing what teams were in play and what was offered it's hard to call it a disaster.

3:05 p.m - And the NHL deadline has passed. Deals can still come in, of course, but as of right now this has to go down as one of the dullest deadline in recent memory.

2:55 p.m. - Stempniak deal is done, but no word on for who or what. Man, even on deadline day this guy is invisible.

2:40 p.m. - TSN says Stempniak "is going to go". I think a third-round pick or similar prospect would be more than enough.

2:25 p.m. - Really glad I'm still wearing the Z-Shock helmet. It made clean-up a lot easier after the Toskala trade broke and my brain exploded.

2:05 - Nick Kypreos is reporting that the Flames have acquired Vesa Toskala.

Elliote Friedman: "Were the Maple Leafs blacked out in Calgary this year?"

1:40 p.m. - Tomas Kaberle has made it official. He will waive, if the right deal comes along. Stay tuned.

1:35 p.m. - Mathieu Schneider was just traded. Hey, remember when the Leafs acquired him and everyone agreed it was a bad deal because he was so old and you can't give up young players like Kenny Jonsson for a veteran? That was in 1996. Jonsson's been out of the NHL since before the lockout.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, do we know if Chris Chelios ever bit Mathieu Schneider?

1:00 p.m. - We have our first kind-of, sort-of blockbuster of the day: Wolski for Mueller. Prelude of things to come? Let's hope so.

12:30 p.m. - There's a good discussion on twitter right now about Tomas Kaberle's apparent reluctance to be dealt. Some are defending him, but generally the consensus is that he doesn't seem interested in winning.

Here's my thoughts: I don't know yet. And I won't know until July 1, which is the first day the Leafs and Kaberle can negotiate an extension to his current deal. If Kaberle really does love playing in Toronto, and wants to finish his career here, then we should find out during those first conversations.

If he signs a reasonable long-term, then we'll know he was sincere about loving Toronto and his NTC stance will make sense. If he starts playing hardball and muttering about leaving as a UFA, we'll know he was just a guy who got way too comfortable with losing.

I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt right now.

12:05 p.m. - James Mirtle just tweeted: "The Leafs are practising at noon today and will fly to Boston after the trade deadline. We don't know who won't be on that flight yet."

Look, MLSE has a lot of money. Just this one time, wouldn't it be cool if they gave each player his own individual plane? I'm picturing 20 CF-18s all flying in formation. Then, if a player is traded, his plane peels off from the group and reroutes to his new destination. You're telling me that wouldn't make for great TV?

Do it, Peddie!

11:50 a.m. - The Ducks have just acquired Aaron Ward in exchange for a pick and Justin Pogge. That should be the domino that gets the "really terrible goaltender" market moving.

11:35 a.m. - Good point by DP in the comments: "Skoula's steadiness is going to be a big loss. His +/- of 0 as a Leaf ranked 2nd on the team."

11:15 a.m. - A few days ago, the nice folks at Easton sent me one of the new lightweight S19 Z-Shock helmets that just launched during the Olympics. The idea was that I should test it out... but I'm not playing in any leagues right now.

So I've decided to put it to an even tougher test today: I'm going to wear the helmet every time I check twitter. After all, at least half the rumors, speculation and "sources tell me" reports are ridiculous enough to make you want to slam your head into a wall. I'll let you know how the helmet holds up.

11:00 a.m. - TSN says Martin Skoula is going to the Devils. And so once again, we lose out on the dream of him winding up in San Jose so we could all make "Skoula The Gentle Shark" jokes.

10:40 a.m. - TSN is interviewing Sidney Crosby. He just described the acquisition of Alexei Ponikarovsky as "the absolute best thing that's happened to me all week".

10:30 a.m. - We have our first deal of the day. Derek Morris has been dealt to Phoenix, in a move that will no doubt be shocking for the majority of hockey fans who thought Derek Morris already played for Phoenix.

10:05 a.m. - TSN just interviewed Luca Caputi, who told them he was a diehard Leaf fan growing up and still has a framed painting of Doug Gilmour hanging over his old bed at his parents' house. Let's just say he's growing on me.

10:00 a.m. - Here's an update on where we're at as far as Kaberle goes. All updates via twitter.

Bruce Garrioch: "Tomas Kaberle is definitely in play."

Elliotte Friedman: Kaberle agent, Rick Curran: no list submitted, BUT if Toronto comes to him with offer -- will at least consider it.

Nick Kypreos: Toronto is aware of teams Thomas Kaberle will waive his no trade to go. Now likely he will be gone.

Steve Simmons: Kaberle is NOT repeat NOT in play, despite what is being said elsewhere. That could change as day progresses but Im assured there is no list

We will see...

8:30 a.m. - Welcome to the 2010 NHL trade deadline.

If you're just waking up to the news of last night's Ponikarovsky-to-Pittsburgh trade, my reaction and a scouting report from The Pensblog can be found here.

Meanwhile, there are breaking reports on twitter that Tomas Kaberle may be in play after all. If so, the day just got a lot more interesting.

Typically these days start off slow, then build to a flurry towards the 3:00 deadline and beyond. I'll be posting thoughts, links and breaking news, and will also be posting the best of the comments section so let me know what's on your mind.

Who is Luca Caputi? The Pensblog explains

Probably the last ever photo
of Luca Caputi smiling.

News is breaking tonight that the Leafs have dealt Alexei Ponikarovsky to the Penguins for prospect Luca Caputi. The Leafs also take on the salary of veteran defenceman Martin Skoula, who will immediately be taken out behind the ACC and shot.

I have no idea who Luca Caputi is.

That's not necessarily a bad thing, since as a longtime Leafs fan I'm pretty fuzzy on the whole concept of a "prospects". But with all the talk of a possible Ponikarovsky bidding war and most rumors pegging the price at a pick and a prospect, it seems like a disappointment to get back a guy whose name only sounds familiar to me because I'm pretty sure it's how the Iron Shiek used to end all his promos.

Or is it? To find out, I asked for a Caputi scouting report from the folks from arguably the world's great hockey blog, The Pensblog. Here's what they had to say:

The Good: Caputi has a cool name. And he has some skill. We've seen him play for a grand total of less than 10 NHL games, but he made somewhat of an impact when he was up. He isn't overly big, or overly fast, but no reason he can't develop into a solid NHL top six player

The Bad: There really is no bad. Just don't know enough about him. The only thing we do know is that he just got surpassed by some other prospects in the Penguin organization, hence he was the odd man out. Burke knows how to develop players so he couldn't be going to a better place. You'll hear about some story about how he was demoted to the ECHL a few years ago, but look if you were stuck in Wilkes Barre you'd cause trouble too. Just tell people he beat up a stripper or something to help his street cred.

Summary: Luca Caputi is officially a part of one of the best "cool name for cool name" trades in NHL history. It's been so hard for Pens prospects to crack the lineup over the last three years that Caputi has got to be pumped to be coming to Toronto.

Anything could happen. He could be a 60+ point guy a year for the next five years, or he will be serving you pizza.

Prediction: Caputi scores the game winning goal in the 2017 eastern conference finals sending the Leafs to the dance.

P.S. If you want to know about Martin Skoula, take the wheels off your car and try to drive to work every morning.

So there you have it. Trade Deadline 2010 has officially arrived for the Leafs. Let me know what you think about the deal in the comments. And don't forget that I'll be liveblogging all-day on Wednesday.

Busy week ahead

It's been a little slow around here lately. I'm sorry about that. The NHL has been on break, of course. But more importantly, it turns out my recent "two whole posts a week" pace was unsustainable, and I think I'm a little burned out.

But the vacation is over, because it's going to be a busy week in the hockey world.

First up, of course, is tomorrow's Gold Medal game. At the risk of modestly overselling it, this game is the most important thing that has ever happened in the history of the world. The game is expected to draw a Canadian televisions rating of over 50 million, since most of us will be watching on multiple TVs just in case one of them turns out to be bad luck. I'm picking Canada to win, especially since I'll be sneaking into the athlete's village tonight, kidnapping Ryan Miller, and replacing him with Cheryl Bernard.

All that is to say that it should be a memorable afternoon. I'll be following the action on twitter.

On Monday, we'll move right into trade deadline mode. Side note: If any GM out there pulls off a Sunday midnight trade and ruins the post I've been working on for Monday, I will hunt you down. Fair warning.

The actual deadline will fall on Wednesday, March 3, and I'll be liveblogging all day. Join me, as we ponder questions such as:

• Where will Alexei Ponikarovsky wind up?
  
• Um, are there any other players on the trade market?
  
• Hey, any update on where Alexei Ponikarovsky will wind up?
  
• Wasn't being an NHL fan way more fun back before the CBA screwed up trading?

Once the deadline has passed, it's on the playoff push. Or, as Leaf fans typically call it, "Four months to think about who we'll be taking with our first round pick". Or, as Leaf fans will call it this year, "Two years and four months to think about who we'll be taking with our first round pick".

There may also be a few surprises between now and the end of the year. It should be a fun time. I hope you'll drop by for some of it.

Behind the scenes: the Leafs deadline day war room

Hockey fans love trade deadline day, even though few of us will ever know what really goes on behind the scenes.

Well, I decided to find out. So with the help of some top secret internal sources (thanks Cliff!), I was able to plant several microphones and hidden cameras around the Maple Leafs war room on deadline day.

What follows is a never-before-seen level of detail on what an NHL front office looks like on the busiest day of the year.

8:45 a.m. - Leafs GM Brian Burke arrives early, and immediately begins furiously working the phones in an attempt to line up his media appearances for the day.

9:24 - Leafs assistant GM Dave Nonis takes a call from a rival GM asking what the Leafs would want in exchange for Luke Schenn. While talks are initially encouraging, they ultimately fail after Nonis is still listing players and picks when the 3:00 deadline passes.

10:00 - Concerned about the recent winning streak and its impact on draft position, Burke meets with Vesa Toskala in the parking lot to suggest that the red-hot goalie should go on the IR. When Toskala protests that he's not injured, Burke nods in the direction of Tim Hunter, who emerges from the shadows holding a baseball bat.

10:05 - Vesa Toskala agrees that he needs to go on the IR.

10:32 - Burke calls Montreal GM Bob Gainey, only to find out that Gainey has taken the day off.

10:57 - For the fifth time that day, a rival GM calls the Leafs front office asking to speak with John Ferguson Jr. and is devastated to learn he no longer works there.

11:12 - Burke calls Panthers GM Jacques Martin to ask for a scouting report on Jay Bouwmeester, his health records, and information on his salary demands. When Martin asks if he can call him back in an hour, Burke says "no problem, I won't actually need any of this until July 1."

11:27 - Struggling somewhat on his first deadline day in a front office, Joe Nieuwendyk accidentally trades himself to the Devils.

11:45 - Disguising his voice, Burke calls Kevin Lowe to ask if Dustin Penner is available, then laughs hysterically at how excited Lowe gets.

12:15 - With a sinking feeling, Leafs assistant GM Jeff Jackson realizes that the note on his desk that reads "Jeff, please pick up Gerber" is not actually in Brian Burke's handwriting, seems to be from his wife, and probably refers to baby food.

12:37 - Burke takes a break to update his hilarious DownGoesBrown twitter parody.

12:56 - A confused Pavel Kubina phones to ask why the guy in charge putting together the Atlanta Thrashers 2009 media guide just showed up to take his picture.

1:05 - The entire Leafs front office gathers around a computer to read Eklund's latest updates on Hockeybuzz, gaining valuable insight into which rumored trades are guaranteed not to happen.

1:20 - Burke steps out for some fresh air. Upon seeing a homeless panhandler pathetically begging for scraps of food and spare change, Burke makes a mental note to start calling southern market teams to see if he can buy their draft picks.

1:45 - A fellow GM calls to ask Burke if he'd be interested in a Lee Stempniak deal. After Burke angrily explains that the last thing he needs is some underachieving fourth-liner, the other GM is forced to awkwardly break the news that Stempniak has been playing for the Leafs for four months.

2:11 - While discussing details of a proposed Nik Antropov deal, New York GM Glen Sather offers to throw in a conditional draft pick if the Rangers make it to the conference finals.

2:14 - After three straight minutes of listening to Burke laugh and pound the table, Sather informs him that he was actually serious about that.

2:42 - In a tragic misunderstanding, Burke responds to Dominic Moore's plea that "I just want to play in front of 19,000 diehard Leaf fans every night" by trading him to Buffalo.

2:57 - With only minutes to go until the deadline, Burke turns down last-minute offers of a second round pick for Ian White, and a first round pick for Ian White's moustache.

3:45 - As he prepares for his post-deadline press conference, the rest of the front office bets Burke that he can't talk about fielding offers for Tomas Kaberle and claim that he never asks players to waive their NTCs in the same sentence without at least somebody in the Toronto media catching on.

5:30 - Sitting alone at the arrivals gate of the Nashville International Airport, a confused Alex Ponikoravsky wonders why nobody is coming to pick him up.

6:30 - Before heading home after a busy day, Burke slides a slice of stale bread under the door of the storage closet where Richard Peddie has been kept chained and bound since November.

The sales pitch: Why you need to trade for these Leafs

OK, so Brian Burke and I aren't on the best of terms these days. I want to make it up to him.

With the deadline just a week away, Burke is faced with the task of convincing his fellow GMs to trade for various Leaf players. Needless to say, this won't exactly be easy.

Like any good salesman, Burke needs to go into battle with a game plan. So I've put together a list of talking points that he could use to try to sell other GMs on his wares. They're his to use, free of charge. Consider it a peace offering.

According to Google, this is a picture of
Lee Stempniak. No Leaf fan can confirm this.

The player: Lee Stempniak
The sales pitch: Not one of those late-season pickups who will come in and disrupt precious dressing room chemistry by being noticeable in any way.

The player: Jason Blake
The sales pitch: While many have cited the length of his contract as a cause for concern, the actual salary cap implications are hard to predict since the CBA will have expired and been renegotiated three times before his deal finally ends.

The player: Curtis Joseph
The sales pitch: Will immediately begin bolstering the confidence of your offensive players during practice shooting drills.

The player: Tomas Kaberle
The sales pitch: Is so good that some teams have been willing to deal a 23-year-old future 50-goal scorer and a first round pick for him, if you can possibly believe such a thing. Ha ha. Ha. Oh god I hate my life.

The player: Andre Deveaux
The sales pitch: A trade to another team would increase the young enforcer's value by making it possible for him to some day fight Ryan Hollweg, the only player in the entire NHL he is capable of beating

This is a cool photo, except that a defenceman
was winding up at the point when it was taken

The player: Vesa Toskala
The sales pitch: Recent history has shown that every goalie who leaves the Leafs automatically becomes ten times better on their new team. Which, in Toskala's case, would make him a very solid backup down the stretch in the event that your regular backup gets injured.

The player: Nik Antropov
The sales pitch: Inevitable upcoming stint on injured reserve will clear up valuable late season cap space.

The player: Mikhail Grabovski
The sales pitch: Has been described as "fearless", party due to his habit of making risky plays in the open ice but mostly due to his willingness to talk crap about Belarusian mob underlings.

The player: Dominic Moore
The sales pitch: Future free agent can always be resigned before the off-season, which would be a great idea since career fourth-liners who have unexpected career seasons during a contract year almost always go on to maintain that level of success.

The player: Matt Stajan
The sales pitch: Has shown impressive focus; despite playing almost his entire career on embarrassingly awful teams has never complained, become dejected, or acted like he even vaguely cared.

Miscellaneous ex-Avalanche defenceman

The player: Jeff Finger
The sales pitch: Career sixth-defenceman occasionally plays so well that seasoned hockey executives have been known to mistake him for the infinitely better Kurt Sauer.

The player: Alexei Ponikarovsky
The sales pitch: Averaged 20 goals a season from 2005-08, so he'd be reasonably productive as long as your roster is so utterly devoid of talent that you're forced to play him on the first line next to a future hall of famer.

The player: Alex Steen
The sales pitch: Talented young player has shown impressive defensive acumen, occasional offensive flair, and emerging leadership skills. Is also technically now a member of the St. Louis Blues, so we can let him go for a late round draft pick.

The player: Luke Schenn
The sales pitch: Is excellent at defending odd-man rushes. Which will come in handy, since the asking price is your entire roster and a first round pick.

Maple Leaf salary fun facts

Here's a couple of loose ends from last week's Mid-Season Value Ranking post. While putting the post together, I did some research into the Leafs' current contract and salary cap commitments. I learned a couple of things that I found interesting.

Fun fact #1: The Leafs highest paid forward is Jason Blake, thanks to his Contract of Eternal Damnation™. Next on the list is recent FA signing Nik Hagman. Do you know which Leaf forward is their third highest paid?

No, not Antropov. No, not Poni. Not even Stempy. Give up? It's this guy.

Fun fact #2: Unlike many teams, the Leafs don't have much in the way of long-term contracts. In fact, as of today the team only has a cap commitment to one player beyond 2012. Can you name him? Answer: this guy.

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, this.

Burke's first task: Find an enforcer

OK, enough is enough. The Leafs need an enforcer, or somebody's going to get hurt out there.

Another game, another two huge hits on unsuspecting Leafs. There's no doubt that the Leafs lead the league in being on receiving end of highlight reel hits.

Last year I called the Leafs the softest team in the NHL. The additions of Jamal Mayers and Ryan Hollweg was supposed to fix that, but haven't. Mayers did a nice job tonight against Garnet Exelby, but he's no heavyweight. Hollweg is just awful.

Let's be clear: the Leafs aren't soft the way last year's team was. This year's squad plays a tougher style, doesn't shy away from physical play, and has shown admirably eagerness to stick up for one another.

And that's the problem. They're almost too fearless. They play with guts, and those guts are going to wind up smeared across the ice pretty soon.

So far we've seen Matt Stajan, Jason Blake, and Mikhail Grabovski each get crushed on multiple occasions. Mike Van Ryn got run through the glass by the Bruins before being run through the end boards by the Habs. Luke Schenn almost had his leg broken on a cowardly trip on an icing call.

And guys like Schenn, Alex Ponikarovsky and Carlo Colaiacovo (RIP) have each dropped the gloves more than once to stick up for a teammate. That's admirable, but none of those guys should be fighting.

The Leafs are a team full of small guys who play like they're big. They're willing to skate into a high traffic area. They're will to take a hit to make a play.

That's great. They have big hearts. But they don't have big bodies, and pretty soon simple physics will catch up to them.

Not every team in the NHL has a heavyweight. In fact, some very good ones (like Detroit) don't dress one. That's fine. Not every team needs a tough guy.

But this team does. Mayers and Hollweg don't scare anybody. When the Bruins were brutalizing the Leafs with clean hits, do you think Milan Lucic was worried about anyone looking for payback? When the Habs were brutalizing the Leafs with dirty hits, do you think George Laraque bothered to look over his shoulder?

Right now, if you're a physical player the Leafs are a fun team to play against. There's an excellent chance that some speedy midget will cut across the trolley tracks with his head down, just begging to get knocked out. And if somebody does come after you, there's a good chance you'll have an easy time padding your won/loss record.

Here's hoping Burke has seen enough. Let's find a legitimate tough guy -- a top ten or twenty heavyweight. Preferably somebody who can play a little bit, but I'm not too picky. As long as they're big, can throw, and have just enough crazy in them to do some damage.

The next time some highly skilled Leaf (or Jason Blake) decides to admire his pass, let's make sure the guy closing in on him has something to think about besides "Hey, I'm going to be on Sportscenter tonight!"

Get Hollweg out of here now, please

Four minutes.

Mark it down. That's how long it took Maple Leaf fans to officially turn on Ryan Hollweg.

After a pre-season that saw Hollweg go 0-6 in fights and get suspended for a hit from behind, Hollweg made it through four minutes of his regular season Maple Leaf debut before being kicked out of this afternoon's game against the Blues. Apparently this idiot doesn't understand that laying your forearm across the name on a guy's jersey and drilling him into the boards is against the rules.

Hollweg will get an automatic three-game suspension from the NHL as a repeat offender, but it's not enough. The NHL should send a message and suspend him for 10 games. If they want to go 15, that would be fine too.

In the meantime, the Leafs need to move on. Toronto is a rebuilding team, and they should be using their roster spots to develop young NHLers. Hollweg may be young, but he's no NHLer. I'm no big fan of Matt Stajan, but there's no reason for him to sit in the pressbox just so Hollweg can goon it up for four or five shifts a game.

You could make an argument for keeping Hollweg around if he could fight, but he can't. Getting your ass handed to you in a fight is kind of inspiring if you're a skill(?) player like Alex Ponikoravsky. When you're a so-called tough guy, it's just embarassing. Let Jamal Mayers handle the occasional scrap, with support from Kris Newbury or Ben Ondrus if he needs it.

We were warned about him when the Leafs traded for him. Now we know that Ranger fans were being kind. Write off the fifth-round pick the Rangers stole from us, and ship Hollweg down to the minors. The ECHL may be a good fit.

This moron is going to cripple somebody soon. Here's hoping he's not wearing a Leaf jersey when it happens.

Update: Ron Wilson is giving his post-game press conference right now, and he just called the Hollweg penalty "debatable".

No, no, NO! Stop it, coach! The penalty wasn't remotely debatable. Nobody expects you to bury your own guy in front of the media, but do not let him off the hook by pretending it wasn't a penalty.

One of the top priorities of this season is accountability. We sure didn't have it under Paul Maurice. We have had it under Wilson, so far. Don't blow it now by giving this failed goon a free pass.

What would it cost the Leafs to trade up to #1?

According to the Toronto Sun, Cliff Fletcher recently raised the idea of trading up at the draft, including the possibility of moving all the way up to #1.

Great idea. But what would it cost?

Impossible to know for sure, of course. For one, there’s nothing to suggest the Lightning will even make the pick available. If a bidding war developed, who knows where the final price could wind up.

But just for fun, let's see if we come up with an educated guess. If the Leafs wanted to trade up to #1 overall, what kind of offer would it take to get in the door?

NFL fans will recognize this chart, which outlines the approximate values for draft picks in a given year. (If you already know what the NFL Trade Chart is and want to skip to the part about how the Leafs and Stamkos, click here.)

The values start at 3,000 for the top pick and declines for each subsequent picks. The drop from the first pick to the second is steep, the drop from second to third slightly less so, and so on until later rounds when the point values decline slowly.

This makes sense -- the difference between one or two picks is enormous at the top of a draft, gets less important as the draft moves on, and all but washes out by the end. Math fans will recognize the points distribution as resembling (although not directly based on) a power law graph.

The chart is an approximation -- it isn't specific to any particular year or draft. It goes without saying that the value of a pick, especially one at the top of the first round, will fluctuate year-to-year depending on who is available. The #1 overall pick in Sidney Crosby's draft year was worth a lot more than in Patrick Stefan's. But “The Chart” as its known in NFL draft circles, often ends up being surprisingly accurate. More than a few recent NFL draft day trades have been made that matched perfectly based on chart value.

And while The Chart was designed for the NFL, it can be applied to other sports as well, at least as a starting point. Keep in mind that both the NFL and NHL have seven round drafts and a similar number of teams (32 vs 30), so the values will fit relatively well.

So what does The Chart say it would cost the Leafs to move up? Let's take a look.

The #1 overall pick is assigned a value of 3,000 points. The Leafs hold the seventh pick, which is valued at 1,500. So we'll start our offer there, and we're already halfway home.

Now it gets tricky. The Leafs don't own their second round pick this year -- it went to Phoenix is the Yanic Perrault trade. I'll pause here so you can curse JFJ and punch yourself in the temple a few times.

They do own the Penguins second rounder, thanks to Fletcher's Hal Gill trade. That would be the #57 pick if the draft was held today, although it could shift depending on who wins the Cup. For sake of argument let's call it #57, which gives it a value of 330 points.

So far our offer includes our top two picks, and we're not even close to fair value -- just 1,830 total, well short of the 3,000 we need. The Leafs third round pick will only carry a value in the 230 range, so clearly we're not going to get far by adding more picks. In fact, the Leafs could package every pick they own and it still wouldn't get them to fair value according to The Chart.

What about trading a pick from future seasons? That's a possibility. But keep in mind that the rule-of-thumb for draft picks is that a pick loses one round of value for each year in the future you go. That means that a 2009 second rounder would only be worth the equivalent of a 2008 third rounder. We're getting into diminishing returns here.

The bottom line is that if we want to make this deal happen, we're going to need to go out and get more picks.

So let's try that. If the Leafs could acquire a mid- to late-round pick in the first, their chances start to look better. For sake of argument, let's target the #22 pick (currently held by the Rangers, but again subject to change).

Who could the Leafs deal for a pick in that range? Tough call. Bryan McCabe and Darcy Tucker sure aren't getting it done. Pavel Kubina might have at the trade deadline, but probably not now. On the other hand, Alex Steen might fetch a late first rounder, and Nik Antropov would be a good candidate as well assuming his knee is OK.

Let's pull the trigger for that #22 pick, which The Chart values at 780 points. That brings us to 2,610 points. We're just 390 points short of fair value now.

That's the equivalent of a mid-second rounder, which the Leafs don't have. So you're looking at moving another player off the roster. As a ballpark, players on the current roster who could fetch a second rounder would probably includes guys like Ponikoravsky, or maybe Ian White.

So based on The Chart and our imaginary wheeling and dealing, here's what that trade for the #1 overall pick would look like.

To Toronto: #1 overall pick
To Tampa Bay: #7 overall, #22 overall (at a cost of Alex Steen or Nik Antropov), the #51 pick (cost: Ian White or Alex Ponikoravsky), and Pittsburgh's #57 pick

Of course, there would be other ways to make a deal work. Tomas Kaberle has plenty of trade value, for example -- find a way to work him in and you're going to make your job easier. There's also the possibility of players coming back to Toronto in a deal, additional teams becoming involved, etc.

But at least we have a starting point. Two first rounders, and two seconds. That's two good young players off the roster, and no picks in between #1 and the early third round. And my gut tells me that this offer, while in the ballpark, wouldn't be enough to close a deal.

What do you think? Too much to give up? Not enough? Would you make the deal?