Hidden playoff injuries revealed

Jordan Staal is informed of the trade
rumors linking him to the Maple Leafs.

It’s the time of year when hockey fans see something they’re not used to on NHL injury reports: honesty.

By now fans have become used to teams being as vague as possible when it comes to health issues. Many injuries to key players are never acknowledged at all, and those that are mentioned are cryptically referred to as upper or lower body injuries and nothing more.

But that all changes one a team has been eliminated. There’s no point in keeping up the charade once the season is over, so teams finally let the public know what sort of medical challenges the players were dealing with. Sometimes the news confirms fans’ existing suspicions, and sometimes we’re all caught completely off-guard.

Here are some of the hidden injuries that teams have recently revealed after being eliminated from Stanley Cup contention.

Ryan Suter, Nashville Predators – His teammates say he was obviously dealing with some sort of major injury that will require him to meet with a specialist in Detroit, since he spent the past few months constantly whispering into his cellphone about some sort of appointment there at 12:01 on July 1.

David Backes, St. Louis Blues – Along with several teammates, suffered abdominal injuries from laughing at that moronic advance scout who kept insisting that the best way to score on Jonathan Quick was to take slapshots from centre ice.

Ed Jovanovski, Florida Panthers – Keeps saying that he thinks this year’s first round loss will help the Panthers when they’re back in the playoffs next year, which has led to facial trauma from all the people who keep pinching his cheeks and telling him he’s being just adorable.

Ryan Kesler, Vancouver Canucks – Will be out for six months after surgery to repair an injured labrum that has confounded local experts, in the sense that they haven’t been able to figure out how to blame it on Roberto Luongo.

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A fan's guide to handling the pressure of Game Seven

The series turning point came when Ovechkin
started using the "slide the goalie out
of the crease" move from NHL '93.

Tonight, hockey fans will get to hear two of the most ominous words in sports: "game seven". The Washington Capitals will visit the New York Rangers for the conclusion of their series with a trip to the conference finals hanging in the balance.

For most fans, that makes the game something to look forward to. But if you're a diehard Capital or Ranger fan, maybe not. After all, seeing an entire season come down to a single winner-take-all contest can be excruciating. And let's face it, some fans handle this sort of situation better than others.

So whether you're a nervous fan or will have the misfortune of spending time around one, I'm here to help. Here are some tips on how to handle the day of a crucial NHL playoff game.

DO: If you'd prefer to watch alone, plan to take in the game someplace where you know you'll never have to worry about running into any hockey fans at this time of year.
DO NOT: Be rude if the Rexall Place security guard doesn't agree to let you in right away.

DO: Try your best to ignore that one guy watching the game with you and your friends who doesn't seem to be a hockey fan, know what's going on, or have even the slightest understanding about the NHL and how it works.
DO NOT: Be surprised when he casually mentions that he's in the process of buying the Phoenix Coyotes.

DO: Apologize immediately if the stress of the situation causes you to lose your temper with your children by snapping at them with one-word answers every time they try to talk to you.
DO NOT: Make the situation worse by explaining that you were simply trying to talk to them "Tortorella-style".

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Some positive thinking for Canada's NHL teams

If I use them as the photo, maybe Habs and Jets
fans won't complain that they got one fewer joke
than the other teams," thought the weary blogger.

The second round of the playoffs is underway, but fans may feel like something's missing. An entire country, to be specific, since for the first time in a generation not a single Canadian team made it out of round one. And that's lead to a seemingly never-ending parade of negativity and speculation about what's ailing the nation's franchises.

Enough is enough. As longtime readers know, if there's one thing this space is committed to it's a sense of unrelenting optimism. So let's focus on the bright side, and come up with as many positive things as possible to say about each of Canada's seven teams.

Montreal Canadiens - The upcoming collective bargaining agreement should make it possible for the team to finally recover from the Scott Gomez trade, assuming it ends up including some sort of "get Ryan McDonagh back" clause.

Winnipeg Jets - While they put up a disappointing season in terms of wins, points, and goals for and against, they did have their best season in 16 years in the all-important "actually existing" category.

Toronto Maple Leafs - Many experts insist that a good NHL rebuild takes five years, and if that's true then the Leafs should be ready to contend for a title sometime in the next negative three years or so.

Calgary Flames - The likely offseason trade of Jarome Iginla will eventually allow Flames fans to enjoy a championship, assuming they all switch allegiances to whichever team acquires Jarome Iginla.

Vancouver Canucks - Have indicated that they'll be trading Roberto Luongo, which is great, because trading that guy away has always worked out so well for other teams.

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2012 World Championships preview

The new "Canada has to play without sticks
to make it fair" rule got mixed reviews.

Hockey fans never seem quite sure how to feel about the World Championships. On the one hand, international hockey is always entertaining. On the other, it can be difficult to get too excited about a competition that takes place right as the NHL playoffs are kicking into high gear.

This year's tournament, which got underway yesterday, is being co-hosted by Finland and Sweden. And as always, most of the coverage has focused as much on the intrigue around which players would accept invitations to represent their countries. With the roster still in flux even after the tournament starts, it can be tough to separate the also-rans from the contenders.

Here's a closer look at the six countries favored to take home the medals.

Russia

Team outlook: While the roster does feature Evgeni Malkin and Pavel Dastyuk, experts agree that the lack of a third-line center could be a major issue for the 30 or 40 seconds a game that they'll need one.
Key player: Team officials can't figure out why Ilya Bryzgalov hasn't shown up yet, since based on a look at his stats from the first round the Flyers clearly lost in four straight.
Prediction: While the players acknowledge that being under a microscope is just part of playing for Russia internationally, they're still not sure why Barry Trotz keeps showing up at their hotel and asking the front desk if he can have a look at their key cards.

Sweden

Team outlook: As always, the players will focus on the three tenets of Swedish international hockey: a high-tempo offense, a team-wide commitment to defense, and skating by their goaltender every few seconds to yell "Hey, just making sure but you're not Tommy Salo, right?"
Key player: Pekka Rinne, since he was kind enough to make sure the entire Detroit Red Wings roster was available.
Prediction: Daniel Alfredsson finds himself hoping for a matchup against Canada in Stockholm, since it would be a nice change of pace to play a home game against a team wearing maple leafs without being booed.

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A look at the nominees for the NHL's annual awards

"No, seriously, I used to get nominated for
the Hart all the time. Why are you laughing?"

The NHL has spent the last week announcing the nominees for this year's various awards. The league revealed a new set of nominees every day, culminating with yesterday's announcements of the candidates for the Jack Adams.

The hardware will be handed out on June 20th in Las Vegas during a televised ceremony that you were planning to watch right up until you found out Nickelback was playing. So instead, let's just run through the nominees in the major categories now and be done with it.

Here's a look at the contenders for some of the league's most prestigious awards.

Norris Trophy (best defenceman)

Erik Karlsson - Many voters have already acknowledged casting their ballots for the Senators' talented young blueliner, citing his high point totals, his dynamic offensive game, and the presence of Matt Carkner cracking his knuckles while grunting "You make little Erik sad, big Matt make you sad".

Zdeno Chara - The Bruins' undisputed franchise player should be absolutely unstoppable in the voting, unless the ballots end up being counted by some unheralded rookie goalie.

Shea Weber - They say that a defenceman has had a great game when you don't even notice anything he did, so we can assume that Weber has Brendan Shanahan's vote.

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