Where will Kovalchuk end up? The pros and cons

The Leafs got a firsthand look at pending UFA Ilya Kovalchuk on Tuesday night. And, like just about everyone else who's ever watched the guy, they had to have come away impressed.

Kovalchuk is shaping up to the big story of the season, as all indications are that he'll be moved at the trade deadline. Reports say that the Russian superstar is demanding a ten-year deal worth over $100 million. Countless rumors have linked him with various teams, either a rental or as a long-term destination.

Where will he wind up? And more importantly, what would be the best fit? It's a tough call, but I want to help figure it out.

Here are ten teams that have been linked to Kovalchuk recently, along with the pros and cons of each.

Washington Capitals
Many speculate that the Caps have the right parts to make a deal work, putting Kovalchuk and Alexander Ovechkin on the same line.

Pro: Would have plenty of down time during the post-season, since all four of the team's playoff series would be over in four games.
Con: Would run the risk of shoulder injuries due to raising arms in celebration of a goal after every single shift.


Montreal Canadiens
Bob Gainey may be looking to shake things up prior to his April firing.

Pro: What highly skilled offensive dynamo wouldn't jump at a chance to play for Jacques Martin?
Con: The team wouldn't actually have room on the roster to add him unless they cut somebody like Georges Laraque, which given recent world events they would of course never do.


Vancouver Canucks
Bring in a European star as a mid-season rental? That's practically guaranteed to work!

Pro: City is home to the upcoming Winter Olympics, meaning Kovalchuk wouldn't have to bother with the hassle and expense of arranging for shipping of his silver medal.
Con: He could have trouble fitting into the dressing room. Literally. Wellwood's off his diet.


Buffalo Sabres
Could the first-place Sabres be looking to make a big splash with a post-season rental?

Pro: Once the summer arrived, he could engage in the most popular activity among Buffalo residents: getting the hell out of the city and never returning.
Con: His arrival would likely be lost amid the overwhelming city-wide euphoria that's accompanied the hiring of Chan Gailey.


Los Angeles Kings
The Kings are young, talented, and may be on the hunt for a franchise player.

Pro: After ten years in Atlanta, it might be a nice break to move to a city where there's not as much interest in hockey.
Con: As the most talented and charismatic King since Wayne Gretzky, would run risk of being pressured into making a really terrible SNL hosting appearance.


Toronto Maple Leafs
Eklund says Burkie's definitely going to land him. Despite that fact, it's still technically possible that he could.

Pro: Certainly wouldn't have to worry about having his thunder stolen by some hotshot young draft pick.
Con: Rumored demands for a ten-year deal may not allow sufficient time for the team to return to the playoffs.


Calgary Flames
Fun fact: 50% of Alberta-based teams are capable of trading for star players.

Pro: Flashy Russians who don't backcheck just scream "Sutter guy".
Con: No way to tell in advance whether this is the particular year this decade when the Flames will go past the first round.


Boston Bruins
The team is a legitimate Cup contender, yet also has a lottery draft pick to trade. Wait, that can't be right.

Pro: Would be well-positioned to follow the traditional path to glory of a Boston star: produce a decade of unrivaled excellence, develop into a respected veteran leader, become a pillar of the local community, and finally demand a trade to a better team that has an actual chance at winning the Cup.
Con: Probably wouldn't have any chemistry with Marc Savard.


New York Islanders
Larry Brooks of the NY Post swears they're in the mix.

Pro: Kovalchuk could make an excellent mentor for John Tavares, helping him through the pressure of being a #1 overall pick on a team that won't win a playoff game for the next decade.
Con: Signing an enigmatic Russian superstar to a ten-year deal makes the front office all nervous for some reason.


Atlanta Thrashers
Don't forget, Kovalchuk could always decide to resign in Atlanta.

Pro: Would avoid the hassle of selling his house.
Con: Absolutely everything else.

2009-2010 Season Preview: The Atlantic Division

As we count down the final days leading up to the 2009-10 regular season, let's take a look at each of the 30 teams with the official DGB Season Preview. Today, we look at the Atlantic Division.

New York Rangers

The good: There's a better-than-average chance that Donald Brashear will cripple Chris Drury in practice, saving the team valuable cap space.
The bad: Wade Redden reported to camp still alive.
Biggest question mark: Aren't you kind of hoping Sean Avery knocks out Kyle Okposo this year just so we can all make "sloppy seconds" jokes?
Fearless forecast: Marion Gaborik will bring the sort of dynamic offensive threat that the team hasn't had since... wait, why is he limping off the ice?

New Jersey Devils

The good: Wisely maintained team chemistry by not bringing in any big name off-season acquisitions, even though almost half their good players left.
The bad: Sure, Jacques Lemaire's offense will be fun to watch at first, but can the Devils maintain that sort of breakneck page all season long?
Biggest question mark: Everyone makes such a big deal about oversized shoulder pads, but why doesn't anybody ever complain about the ever-growing stomach padding Martin Brodeur is apparently using?
Fearless forecast: You won't watch a single one of their games all season.

Philadelphia Flyers

The good: If 35-year old Chris Pronger can't lead team to a Stanley Cup this year, no problem -- they still have him for another six years after that!
The bad: Continuing a proud tradition of tough guy Flyers goalies, Ray Emery has already been beaten into a bloody pulp by Felix Potvin.
Biggest question mark: Will one of the Flyers commit a horrifying act of violence that ruins the Winter Classic, or will it be more than one?
Fearless forecast: Will almost certainly be one of the top two teams in the entire state.

Pittsburgh Penguins

The good: Aren't scheduled for another blatant tank job for another three or four years.
The bad: Are at a tremendous disadvantage in an Olympic year in terms of fatigue, given that every single player on the roster is good enough to make an Olympic team.
Biggest question mark: Given that they're almost a sure thing to make the post-season, wouldn't it be a good idea for Sidney Crosby to start growing his playoff beard now?
Fearless forecast: I will continue to receive ten breathless e-mails a week that contain shocking photos of the Penguin players sitting around holding a trophy.

New York Islanders

The good: Franchise reputation is already dead and buried, which is a nice change since it marks the first ever case of this ownership group being able to get a shovel into the ground.
The bad: Have six or seven good players, all of whom are goalies.
Biggest question mark: Which line will Taylor Hall play on?
Fearless forecast: Scott Gordon eventually throws a rock through the poster of Raquel Welch in John Tavares' locker, revealing a tunnel to Toronto hidden behind it.

The NHL's secret plan to regain its popularity

Gary Bettman predicts the Phoenix
Coyotes' 2009-10 season ticket sales.

The NHL received some harsh news last week, with the release of a study that declared that interest in the NHL is dropping in Canada. Combined with the well-documented struggles of many American teams and a worsening economy, it would appear that the league is facing a potential crisis.

Luckily, NHL leadership is aware of the problem and has enacted several initiatives to face the issue. I've obtained a top secret NHL memo which outlines 15 strategies the league will be implementing to regain its popularity.

• Kill off formerly popular "wacky neighbor" character played by Jeremy Roenick.
  
  
• Reconsider plan to have entire 2009-10 marketing campaign managed by Dany Heatley's agents.
  
  
• Effective immediately, Alexander Ovechkin plays for all 30 teams.
  
  
• Make sure any league decision is in the best interest of the fans by constantly asking "What would the Toronto Blue Jays do in this situation?", then doing the exact opposite.
  
  
• The next time NBC executives ask the league to play a crucial playoff game outside of prime time, Gary Bettman will look them straight in the eye and say "no" before immediately assuring them he was kidding, refilling their coffee cup, and scheduling the game for 3:00 a.m.
  
  
• Encourage financial responsibility among star players by reminding them to insist on receiving their full change after cab rides.
  
  
• Offer a boost to struggling franchises in Tampa Bay and Florida by having them play each other in this year's Winter Classic in Miami.
  
  
• Encourage US fans to attend regular season games in person instead of watching them for free on TV by making sure the games are broadcast on a third-rate network nobody has ever heard of.
  
  
• In the Western Conference, I don't know, maybe try letting somebody other than the Red Wings be good every now and then?
  
  
• To better attract southern US fans, zambonis will now travel 190 mph, only turn left, and occasionally crash into the end boards and explode.
  
  
• Have Gary Bettman give one of his "everything is going great" press conferences. Those always work.
  
  
• Continue taking the advice of marketing consultants by changing uniform designs, swapping home/away colors, and encouraging teams to come up with new third jerseys every year. Because nothing builds fan loyalty like a fun game of "wait, which one of these teams am I supposed to be cheering for?"
  
  
• Goaltenders must now twitter during shootout attempts.
  
  
• In order to encourage success in the crucial New York market, pass a new rule forcing less-important teams to take on the Rangers' bad contracts via horrible trades (rule already enacted).
  
  
• At all costs, avoid moving any teams into Canada's declining market, and instead keep them in places like Phoenix where hockey's popularity hasn't changed in 100 years.

Leafs vs. Islanders - Oh, the humanity

I've made the point before that you can have your Battle of Ontario, with its ridiculous controversies and over-hyped skirmishes. The most vicious playoff series I've ever seen was the one between the Leafs and the New York Islanders in 2002.

This was the series that featured Shane Corson trying to kick Eric Cairns in the head, Tie Domi speedbagging Jim Cummins, and Steve Webb hitting everything in sight in New York (but disappearing completely in Toronto).

But the most memorable battle in this war came in game five, which featured two serious injuries. First up, here's the one everyone remembers:

Now it's an official NHL bylaw that if you weren't a Leaf fan in 2002, you have to think this hit was dirty and hate Darcy Tucker for it.

But it wasn't. Based on the NHL's rules at the time, it was squeaky clean. The NHL would later add a "clipping" penalty (which is never called) to try to prevent hits like this, but at the time there wasn't anything in the rulebook that said hitting low was illegal.

Years later, a theory emerged as to why Tucker went so low. Apparently the Leafs scouting report on Peca said that he would pretend not to see you coming, then launch himself at your head. So if you're going to hit him, the thinking went, go low. Apparently Tucker agreed.

The hit turned Peca's knee into spaghetti and caused him to launch a summer-long PR campaign against Tucker. The two hated each other for years, right up until Peca signed with the Leafs and they started driving each other's kids to kindergarten.

So yes, Tucker's hit was clean. On the other hand...

Now that's a dirty hit.

Look, I love Gary Roberts as much as the next guy, but this hit is charging, boarding and hitting from behind all rolled into one, not to mention a pretty clear attempt to target a guy's head.

In one of the strangest calls in recent memory, the officials handed Roberts a major but didn't eject him because, in their view, there was no injury on the play. I don't know about you, but I think Jonsson looks kind of injured there. Luckily for Roberts, Jonsson didn't end up bleeding -- probably because the part of his brain that controlled his circulatory system had been turned into sawdust.

Jonsson had a history of concussions and was never quite the same player after this hit. The Islanders asked for a suspension, but the league declined. Roberts later admitted that he delivered the hit because he was sick of Damien Cox over-rating Jonsson just so he could bash Cliff Fletcher for the Wendel Clark trade in 1996.

I may have made that last part up.

The Leafs eventually won the series, but were so banged up that it took them a much-longer-than-usual seven games to eliminate the Senators in round two.

Side note: You can hear Leafs fans cheering both hits, yet I don't remember any manufactured outrage about being "classy". If this happened today, we'd have to put up with hysterical blog post lectures from every Islanders fan in the world. Yes, all six of them.

Fun with Google's new "Similar Images" feature

The big news in the web marketing world this week has been Google unveiling a cool new feature: Google Similar Images. This new tool allows you to find an image that interests you, and then search for other images that are similar.

Here's an example. The image on the left is a shot of a Leafs goal that I found, and the image on the right is one that Google says is similar.

Not bad, eh? At first I assumed that Google was just relying on the image name and surrounding content, and maybe cross-referencing with some basic image attributes like orientation and maybe dominant color.

Boy, was I wrong. After all, this is Google we're talking about. They're probably the smartest people in the world. And this new image similarity search is scary good.

Don't believe me? I spent some time randomly searching for hockey teams and players. Check out some of the "similar" images Google came up with.

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What price victory?

I like the deal to move up and grab Schenn. But I couldn't help but think about the price tag: two good draft picks to move up from #7 to #5. That's a lot. But it was necessary, because the Leafs had the #7 pick in a draft with five (or six, if you consider Filatov signable) elite players.

A little refresher:

The Islanders had 79 points last year. The Leafs, thanks to their traditional late-season surge after they were already all but eliminated from the playoffs, had 83 points.

You no doubt remember how that final stretch unfolded: Toskala being played into the ground, the veterans getting all the ice time, no look at the younger kids, no Raycroft until the very end. And all because Paul Maurice was coaching for his next employer instead of his current one.

So let's take a moment today to thank Maurice. They say you can't put a price on winning, but now we can. Two more meaningless victories, four more lousy points, at a cost of a second rounder and a third.

Good work, Paul.