Building the NHL's all-old-guy team

The NHL appears to be in the middle of a full-fledged youth movement, thanks to an influx of talented rookies over the last few seasons.

Right now, the kids are all anyone can talk about. And if we’re being honest, some of the hype may be getting a little bit out of control: Auston Matthews was basically named to the all-star team after one game; Patrik Laine was awarded the Hart Trophy after four; Next week, the Hockey Hall of Fame will officially be renamed The Hall of Connor McDavid and Also Some Other Guys.

And all of that is great — a wave of dominant young players all coming into the league at the same time is one of the most exciting things that can happen in sports.

But while it’s a fun story to hype up, we run the risk of forgetting that there are still some older guys puttering around the league.

Some of them are even pretty good.

So today, let's hike our pants up to our armpits and spend some time celebrating the league's old guys. We'll build a full roster – four lines, three defensive pairings and two goalies – out of players that were 35 or older on opening night of the 2016-17 season.

And then we’ll teach those whippersnappers a thing or two.

FORWARDS

First line

RW: Jaromir Jagr

We'll start with the first guy that comes to mind when you mention old NHL players. At 43, Jagr hasn't shown many signs of slowing down; his 66 points last year were the second most among players 35 and over.

We'll give him a spot on the first line, and we'll also make him team captain. There's a non-zero chance he'll still be holding down that spot in sixteen years when we welcome McDavid and Matthews to this team.

C: Joe Thornton

Even at 37, Thornton continues to be among the top playmakers in the league.

Last year may have been his best season in almost a decade, as he posted a combined 103 points across the regular season and playoffs.

We've all agreed that he's a no-questions-asked, first-ballot Hall-of-Famer, right? He'll probably become the 13th player to join the 1,000-assist club this season, and players ahead of him are basically a who's who of NHL legends.

LW: Patrick Marleau

We'll slot him in at wing instead of centre, since that's where he tends to play these days and it lets us build a top line that features three 1,000-point players.

We'll give him first-line duties because of his chemistry with Thornton – they don't play together much, but the familiarity of being teammates for so many years should help them gel.

(Yes, I realize I've thought too much about this. You've read this far, don't bail on me now.)

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>> Read the full post at Sportsnet

Ways NHL front offices are using advanced technology

Hey cool, looks like Steve Yzerman finished
running the playoff probability calculations.

Last week was an interesting one for sports fan who enjoy peeking behind the curtain at the world of high-stakes front office decision making.

In one article, James Mirtle explained how the Penguins relied on advice from an outside analytics agency to make the trade that brought James Neal to Pittsburgh. The data went beyond simple statistics to track where on the ice shots were coming from.

Meanwhile, NBA teams like the Toronto Raptors are taking things a step further. The franchise recently gave Grantland a tour of the proprietary tools they've developed based on SportVU camera technology. The software allows the team to track player movements and analyze performance in intricate detail.

Some saw that post and concluded that hockey is still trailing basketball when it comes to modern technology, but I'm not so sure. According to sources, several NHL teams are using computers to varying degrees in an effort to find a competitive edge.

Florida Panthers - Thought about developing a web-based database that could tell us everything we could ever want to know about each one our star players, but then realized somebody else had already invented WebMD.

Detroit Red Wings - Are using a program that tracks their players wherever they are on the ice or, in the case of Niklas Kronwall delivering a bodycheck, two feet off the ice.

Nashville Predators - Probably shouldn't have let Sergei Kostitsyn update all their software, since now they can't find the "No" option on the dialog box that says "Are you sure you want to quit?"

New York Rangers - Have kept their best players in the lineup thanks to computer technology that lets them hack into private email accounts and find those photos that we wouldn't want anyone else to see, WOULD WE BRENDAN?

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Round one Western Conference playoff preview

Eventually, a disappointed Luongo realized
the other players were too busy with the
game to join his rendition of "YMCA".

The playoffs begin tonight, which means it's time to wrap up our mandatory first round predictions. We covered the Eastern Conference yesterday, so today we'll take a look at the Western Conference matchups.

#1 Vancouver Canucks vs. #8 Los Angeles Kings

The matchup: The series will feature two forwards who are completely inseparable and spend virtually every waking moment of their lives together, and in addition to Mike Richards and Jeff Carter the Canucks probably have some good players too.
The view from Vancouver: The Canucks must find an answer for the Kings' best defensive player, goaltender Jonathan Quick, and their best offensive player, a frustrated Jonathan Quick taking slapshots from the point while yelling "Seriously, the rest of you don't even want to maybe give this a try?"
The view from Los Angeles: Kings players can't help but wonder if team meetings would be more effective if coach Darryl Sutter didn't continually interrupt to ask if anyone knows who the Flames are playing in the first round, then laugh hysterically for twenty minutes.
Player to watch: Cory Schneider, to see if he's taking his ball cap off, assuming you're Roberto Luongo and just gave up a goal.
Prediction: The Canucks win, celebrate their victory together as a team, then pause and ask each other whether anyone else just heard the faint sound of "Chelsea Dagger" coming from round two.

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The great eight: A look at the most likely Stanley Cup winners

We're heading down the homestretch of the NHL season. Every team is down to their final fifteen games or less, the playoff races are tight, and we're starting to see some separation between the contenders and the pretenders.

While most of the league is either battling for the bottom playoff seeds or already looking toward the offseason, a handful of teams have begun to separate themselves from the pack. And while it's always possible that we'll see a Cinderella run from an underdog, history tells us that when the Stanley Cup is eventually handed out in a few months it will go to a team from the top of the regular season standings.

So let's get to know a few of those teams. Here's a closer look at the eight teams that look like they'll be heading into the postseason as the Stanley Cup favorites.

Pittsburgh Penguins

Greatest strength: The returning Sidney Crosby won't need to worry about being reinjured by an opponent's body check this time, says Gary Bettman while sitting calmly in the rafters holding a sniper rifle.
Potential weakness: Opposing penalty killers can expect an easy time of it when facing the combination of Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, since the powerplay will only ever last six or seven seconds max.

Boston Bruins

Greatest strength: Lead the league in goal differential with a +58, although in fairness that does go down to +3 if you take away their five games against the Maple Leafs.
Potential weakness: Are starting to get a bad feeling that they misunderstood Tim Thomas when he personally assured them that he'd make sure the whole "refuse to go to the White House after winning a championship" incident would never happen again.

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Fade to black. Roll credits.

Have you ever watched a movie with a tacked on ending that doesn't work with the rest of the story? It feels wrong, like it was from a different film, and it ruins the whole experience.

And then sometimes you get the other side of the coin. The ending that just fits, that nails the tone of the story exactly. An entire storyline summarized in one perfect scene.

Last night was one of those perfect endings.

There's no better single scene you could choose to describe this Leafs season than Kessel's back-breaker goal: a younger, faster opponent breaking in to score, while a Leaf trails behind him, not skating hard, complaining to the officials.

That's what this team has become. They don't work hard. They don't skate. And they always find somebody else to blame.

It's a tribute to this team's core leadership that a young player like Kronwall can come up, play only a handful of games, and still know exactly how to handle the situation. His reaction was right about of the Bryan McCabe playbook.

(For his part McCabe, as PPP points out, was quick to play the injury card after the game. Stick to that script, Bryan. As always.)

So the good news is, the Leafs 2007/8 movie ended perfectly. The bad news is we'd already seen it -- twice, in fact. Damn sequels. And I hear that Peddie Productions are already working on another one.

After all, the critics hate them, but they make a killing at the box office.