Does Johnny Gaudreau have a bad contract? Pierre-Luc Dubois? Nazem Kadri? Cap Court returns

As NHL GMs have spent the last few years saying to the salary cap: Please rise.

Those GMs are about to get their way, and so are we. It’s time for another round of Cap Court, the feature in which we put contracts on trial. The last time we did this, it was with a twist: We were looking for great contracts, not the usual bad ones. That was a nice dose of positivity, so it goes without saying that we’re headed back to the negatives this time around.

As always, we’re looking at contracts as they stand right now – we don’t care if they were good deals or made sense at some point earlier, just about what they have left and how they’re likely to turn out from now on. That can be tough to predict, of course. Back in 2022, it looked like recent extensions for Jonathan Huberdeau and J.T. Miller were in similar territory, and it’s fair to say that those two deals look very different today.

That’s a nice reminder that we shouldn’t be as confident and we might be tempted to be when it comes to some of these deals. Still, we’ll do the best we can to give five contracts a fair trial. Court is now in session.

>> Read the full post at The Athletic

(Want to read this post on The Athletic for free? Sign up for a free trial.)

Grab Bag: Captain controversies, scoring slumps, and old-school suspsensions

Man it’s been a long time since we did one of these. If you’re new to the Grab Bag, it’s a weekly monthly apparently annual? occasional feature in which we joke around about whatever’s happening in the NHL, remember some guys, complain about stuff, and spend way too much time breaking down obscure old YouTube clips. It’s fun. Or at least, that’s the idea. Let’s get to it.

>> Read the full post at The Athletic

(Want to read this post on The Athletic for free? Sign up for a free trial.)

2011 NHL Draft Preview

Drafted second overall? Ha, enjoy
years of finishing in last place, kid.

It's NHL draft weekend, with the first round taking place tonight from the Xcel Energy Center in Minnesota. And while the consensus is that there aren't any surefire superstars in this year's crop of prospects, most experts seem to agree that it's a deep pool of good young players.

In recent months the prospects have been scouted, interviewed, analyzed and subjected to the rigors of the combine. There's been no shortage of opportunity for teams to do their homework, and at this point the teams know these guys about as well as they ever could.

But what about the fans? As we prepare to settle in and watch the intrigue unfold, let's take one last look at some of the prospects who can expect to hear their names called tonight.

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins - Hockey fans should make an effort to get to know this exciting offensive force from the Red Deer Rebels before the draft, since he's probably going to be picked by the Edmonton Oilers and then never heard from again.

Adam Larsson - The Swedish blueliner has been repeatedly compared to Victor Hedman. So watch your back, anyone in this year's draft who has been repeatedly compared to Sidney Crosby.

Johnathan Huberdeau - Raised some eyebrows during the interview portion of the combine when, on the advice of his agents, he spent his entire interview with New York Islanders management nervously denying that he had ever played hockey before.

Gabriel Landeskog - Achieved the top possible score in the infamous Wingate endurance test when, after 30 second of furious pedaling, the bicycle vomited and passed out.

Read the rest of this post...

April Fools - NHL style

A convincing argument against seamless glass.

Today is April Fool's Day, which is best known around North America as the traditional day for dull conglomerates to post painfully bad attempts at humour on their corporate web sites. But some of us may still remember the day's original meaning: an opportunity to play practical jokes on friends and coworkers.

What does this have to do with hockey? Well, there are two things we all can all agree on when it comes to NHL players: They love playing practical jokes on each other, and they all read my columns first thing in the morning before heading to the rink. And given those two facts, I feel like I should take the opportunity to help everyone have some fun.

So in the spirit of some good-natured tomfoolery, here are a few ideas that various players and personalities around the league should feel free to use on this special day. Let the hijinks ensue.

Sidney Crosby - After finally being cleared to resume practising, lightly bump into a teammate during a scrimmage and immediately fall to the ice clutching your head. Months later, reveal to that teammate that you were only joking while chatting with him at the drive-through window where he now works.

Mike Fisher - Walk up to a member of the Nashville media and introduce self by saying "Hi, I'm Mike Fisher from the Predators" before immediately adding "no, just kidding, I'm Carrie Underwood's husband".

Edmonton Oilers - Send the entire scouting staff to sit in front row and watch top prospect Sean Couturier at tonight's game while scribbling furiously in little notebooks and flashing each other the thumbs up. Watch how depressed he gets when he sees them. Hey look, I think he started crying!

NBC Sports - Tell your viewers that the New York Rangers are currently tied for seventh place, as if the NHL has more than five different teams.

Jonathan Toews - Show off your sense of humour by spending a minute blinking exactly once every 12 seconds, rather than once every 15 seconds like normal.

Tomas Kaberle - Good-naturedly inform your new Bruins teammates that hey, nice try guys, but you're not going to fall for that "We still have to play more games even after the regular season" ends joke.

Ilya Kovalchuk - Call Lou Lamoriello, tell him that you think it's about time to start talking extension.

Matthew Hulsizer - Hilariously tell your old pal Gary Bettman that you'd totally be willing to buy the Coyotes and keep them in Phoenix, and - hey, why is Bettman signing the paperwork? Guys, I was obviously joking. Hey, this isn't funny anymore!

NHL Central Scouting - Release an updated list of the top 300 prospects for the upcoming draft; slip Phil Kessel's name in at #301.

Paul Bissonnette - Spend all day arguing with your twitter followers that the infinite regress problem can be adequately resolved by a reliance on foundational beliefs that give justificatory support to more complex beliefs, before eventually revealing that you were actually a devoted advocate of Pyrrhonian skepticism all along.

Corey Perry - Sneak in and steal Teemu Selanne's towel while he's soaking in that mysterious, glowing fountain that he bathes in every day for some reason.

Henrik and Daniel Sedin - Just to see what would happen, briefly pass the puck to that strange person who seems to think he plays on our line even though he doesn't look anything like us.

Pittsburgh Penguins - Play a hilarious joke on a rookie during a road trip by refusing to place his luggage on the team bus next to the other luggage; instead place it under the team bus, next to Matt Cooke.

Toronto Maple Leafs - Pretend to be playoff contenders during a late-season surge before revealing on April 1 that it was all an elaborate joke played at the expense of your fans. So, same as every other year.

***

This is the fourth annual April Fools post. The previous version are here: 2008 | 2009 | 2010