Great moments in shootout history

Some day, you punk kids will learn to have
some respect for terrible, whiny goalies.

The shootout has long been a topic that divides hockey fans. Many feel that it's an overly long and drawn out skills competition, a cheap gimmick that diminishes the emphasis on team play and tarnishes the integrity of the game. Others disagree, pointing out that it's actually not all that long.

The shootout was back in the spotlight yet again in recent days, along with a debate over what constitutes proper shootout etiquette. From Flames' goalie Henrik Karlsson's fist-pumping save celebrations to Oiler rookie Linus Omark's premature spinorama, it seems like we may be faced with a sudden need to establish a shootout code of conduct.

But while the shootout may cause its share of headaches, there's no disputing that it has also created some unique hockey memories. Here's a sampling of some of some of the most indelible moments from the brief history of the NHL shootout.

December 10, 2010 - A disappointed Linus Omark is forced to switch to Plan B after officials refuse to allow him to bring his ladder and bucket of confetti onto the ice.

November 2, 2009 - Continuing his impressive streak as the only player in NHL history to be successful on every career shootout attempt, Gregory Campbell scores on his patented move of skating directly at the goaltender while yelling "get out of the way or my dad will suspend you!"

October 21, 2008 - In an effort to improve their chances of taking home two points, Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson pulls Vesa Toskala before the shootout begins and replaces him with an old shoelace dangling from the crossbar.

November 27, 2010 - Olli Jokinen streaks in across the blueline, kicks the puck up to his skates and executes a breathtaking spinorama before being stopped by an arena worker who explains that game is already over and the Flames lost 7-1 in regulation.

January 1, 2008 - After giving up the game-winning shootout goal to Sidney Crosby to end the first ever outdoor Winter Classic, the Sabres' Ryan Miller comforts himself by telling reporters "Oh well, at least I know that's the worst game-ending five hole goal I'll ever give up to that guy on national television".

March 24, 2010 - Despite scoring on his first career attempt, Canadiens' defenceman P.K. Subban receives near-unanimous criticism from within the hockey community after he briefly cracks a facial expression.

October 25, 2005 - Amid echoes of shots and clouds of gun smoke, the first shootout in Dallas Stars history resumes after the public address announcer sternly admonishes the Texas crowd that that's not the kind of "shootout" they meant and they know it.

November 10, 2010 - Crafty veteran sniper Ilya Kovalchuk takes full advantage of an advanced scouting report that Sabres' goalie Jhonas Enroth has trouble with slow rollers towards the side boards.

April 11, 2010 - The Flyers eliminate the Rangers from playoff contention on the season's final day when Chris Pronger scores the winner on a move he calls "glue the puck to the front of a stolen zamboni and then run over Henrik Lundqvist while he's taking a drink from his water bottle".

March 11, 2009 - The Vancouver Canucks lose a heartbreaker when Alex Burrows is denied on a brilliant goalmouth kick save by Stephane Auger.

November 3, 2009 - Players begin to realize that the best way to score on Ottawa's Pascal Leclaire is by coming in as slowly as possible, since given enough time he'll eventually keel over from some random injury and you can just tap it into the open net.

February 13, 2008 - After being given a rare shootout opportunity, a confused and frightened Tomas Kaberle spends the next 45 minutes circling the offensive zone in an desperate attempt to find someone to pass to.

Gary Bettman's flowchart for dealing with NHL scandals

The NHL is coming off yet another tough week on the PR front. The Colin Campbell email controversy continues to rage, despite the league's best efforts to assure everyone that it's no big deal.

Of course, the Campbell story is only the latest in a growing list of controversies that Gary Bettman's administration has had to deal with recently. We saw the messy accusations of bias against referee Stephane Auger earlier this year. The Phoenix Coyotes saga continues to drag on with no end in sight. And let's not even get into the seemingly endless parade of owners who find themselves embroiled in various financial conflicts.

But to his credit, Bettman doesn't let those close to him off the hook. Just like players and coaches, league officials are held to high standards and can face serious repercussions for stepping out of line. The league has a strict policy in place for ensuring accountability and they follow it to the letter. Last week's Campbell situation was only the latest example.

Here, thanks to my spies at the NHL head office, is the league's official document for handling high-level scandals and controversies.

Larger version / download

2010-11 Western Conference Preview

In the second of a two-part series, season preview week continues with a look at the Western Conference. (If you missed it, the Eastern Confence preview is here.)

Edmonton Oilers
The good: Just like every other team, will be tied for first place when the puck drops on opening night.
The bad: Will somehow be eight points out of a playoff spot by the next morning.
What to watch: Are expected to trade Sheldon Souray, which will be great since the bag of pucks they currently use at practice needs replacing.

Phoenix Coyotes
The good: Eastern-based hockey media agree that the team has an excellent lineup, featuring Shane Doan, Ilya Bryzgalov, and, um… you know, all those other guys.
The bad: There's absolutely no evidence that their owners know anything about hockey.
What to watch: Unless it's the playoffs, the guy at the sports bar asking you to "toss the snake" may not actually be a Coyotes fan.

Dallas Stars
The good: Have promised their long-suffering fans that they'll play half of their games in other cities this year.
The bad: The departure of Marty Turco is expected to drain the self-confidence of forwards who were used to practicing against him.
What to watch: The inspirational Mike Ribeiro, who continues to suit up despite suffering an apparent career ending injury on every third shift.

St. Louis Blues
The good: Continue to exist, you're pretty sure now that you stop and think about it.
The bad: Their new starting goalie once lost his job to Carey Price, so how good could he be?
What to watch: The confused look on their fans' faces when they see Blackhawk fans celebrating with that big weird trophy thing.

Colorado Avalanche
The good: Shocked the hockey world last year by achieving something few observers had believed possible.
The bad: It was losing to the Sharks in a playoff series.
What to watch: Coach Joe Sakic, who modestly insists that you call him "Joe" instead of "Mr. Sakic" and actually seems to get kind of touchy about it after a while, come to think of it.

Los Angeles Kings
The good: Refused to meet Ilya Kovalchuk's contract demands in free agency, greatly reducing the chances that you'll be forced to stay up to watch Stanley Cup finals games on pacific time.
The bad: In hindsight, Barry Melrose pretty much ruined the mullet for everyone.
What to watch: Drew Doughty, the current consensus pick the win the Norris, the Hart, the Vezina, and the Biletnikoff.

Anaheim Ducks
The good: Don't have any cap problems, unless you count Ryan Getzlaf's refusal to cover up his bald spot.
The bad: Will be without their #1 defenceman, Scott Niedermayer, as well as their #2 defenceman, Scott Niedermayer's beard.
What to watch: The "flying V" strategy from the Mighty Ducks movies would be called offside every time, which really has nothing to do with Anaheim but has always sort of bothered me.

Minnesota Wild
The good: The departure of Derek Boogard means the dressing room stereo can finally be used for pregame music again, instead of all those damn Stephen Hawking audiobooks.
The bad: A recent exhibition game produced the first non-sellout in the franchise's ten year history, proving conclusively that US expansion can never succeed.
What to watch: Josh Harding if he's standing anywhere near you, because you know that lightning strike is on its way.

Nashville Predators
The good: Consistently choose really good teams to lose to in the first round.
The bad: Shea Weber slapshots have been known to go through the net, end boards, several rows of stands, and crucial load-bearing arena walls.
What to watch: Coach Barry Trotz, an honourable man who would never fail to stick his neck out for his players if he had one.

Columbus Blue Jackets
The good: Are a team that absolutely nobody cares about, so you can safely ignore them when writing a preview.
The bad: I mean, you still need to put some text in there. You can't just leave a blank space, people would notice that. But you can write pretty much anything you want because nobody will read it.
What to watch: Note to self, Post editors may be getting suspicious of the embezzling. Find a temporary new source of funding for lavish gifts for the mistress.

San Jose Sharks
The good: In last year's first round series against the Avalanche, silenced critics who called them playoff chokers by scoring an NHL record five game-winning goals.
The bad: It's their fault that you're able to have an intelligent conversation with your wife about the pros and cons of the color teal.
What to watch: Dany Heatley makes his return to Ottawa on December 2, giving Senator fans a chance to boo somebody out of the building other than Daniel Alfredsson during every Leafs game.

Calgary Flames
The good: They kept their own first round pick this year, which is great news since they will be terrible.
The bad: They'll also have the fourth round pick of whichever team they panic and trade Jarome Iginla to.
What to watch: Jay Bouwmeester, the greatest postseason performer in hockey history as far as anyone knows.

Detroit Red Wings
The good: Chris Osgood has inspired a generation of hockey players by winning three Stanley Cup rings despite being born without the ability to be an adequate NHL starting goaltender.
The bad: They finally got the old man smell out of Chris Chelios' locker, and then along comes Mike Modano.
What to watch: Mike Babcock's angry face, if you need to get rid of some hiccups.

Chicago Blackhawks
The good: Saw their 50-year rebuilding plan pay off a whole season ahead of schedule.
The bad: Marian Hossa may be a little fatigued, since he's had about fifteen total days of offseason in the past three years.
What to watch: Patrick Kane doesn't seem to have gained any arm strength this offseason, even though whenever you ask him how he spent his summer he says something about lots of 12 oz curls and then high fives you.

Vancouver Canucks
The good: Now that he's been stripped of the captaincy, Roberto Luongo will no longer spend the majority of every practice working on his ceremonial faceoff technique.
The bad: After last year's Stephane Auger controversy, referees can no longer try to "get" Alex Burrows during games, and will now have to resort to running him over in the parking lot.
What to watch: The team enjoys a spirited rivalry with the Blackhawks, in much the same way that cake enjoys a spirited rivalry with a fat kid on his birthday.

Hacked: Gary Bettman's Gmail account

Ever wondered what kind of e-mail shows up in the inbox of the commissioner of a big time sports league? You have? OK, well what about the commissioner of the NHL instead?

An inside source tipped me off that all of Gary Bettman's official league correspondence goes through his Gmail account. And let's just say Gary's every bit as good at picking secure passwords as he is choosing new markets for expansion.

Here's a screenshot I was able to grab before I was booted off their servers:

Can't see the image? Want to download it? Here's the small version, and here's a larger one that's easier to read.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

• The NHL's top secret suspension flow chart
  
• The Maple Leafs' Facebook feed
  
• Top secret transcripts
  
• Brian Burke's Twitter
  
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