Great moments in shootout history

Some day, you punk kids will learn to have
some respect for terrible, whiny goalies.

The shootout has long been a topic that divides hockey fans. Many feel that it's an overly long and drawn out skills competition, a cheap gimmick that diminishes the emphasis on team play and tarnishes the integrity of the game. Others disagree, pointing out that it's actually not all that long.

The shootout was back in the spotlight yet again in recent days, along with a debate over what constitutes proper shootout etiquette. From Flames' goalie Henrik Karlsson's fist-pumping save celebrations to Oiler rookie Linus Omark's premature spinorama, it seems like we may be faced with a sudden need to establish a shootout code of conduct.

But while the shootout may cause its share of headaches, there's no disputing that it has also created some unique hockey memories. Here's a sampling of some of some of the most indelible moments from the brief history of the NHL shootout.

December 10, 2010 - A disappointed Linus Omark is forced to switch to Plan B after officials refuse to allow him to bring his ladder and bucket of confetti onto the ice.

November 2, 2009 - Continuing his impressive streak as the only player in NHL history to be successful on every career shootout attempt, Gregory Campbell scores on his patented move of skating directly at the goaltender while yelling "get out of the way or my dad will suspend you!"

October 21, 2008 - In an effort to improve their chances of taking home two points, Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson pulls Vesa Toskala before the shootout begins and replaces him with an old shoelace dangling from the crossbar.

November 27, 2010 - Olli Jokinen streaks in across the blueline, kicks the puck up to his skates and executes a breathtaking spinorama before being stopped by an arena worker who explains that game is already over and the Flames lost 7-1 in regulation.

January 1, 2008 - After giving up the game-winning shootout goal to Sidney Crosby to end the first ever outdoor Winter Classic, the Sabres' Ryan Miller comforts himself by telling reporters "Oh well, at least I know that's the worst game-ending five hole goal I'll ever give up to that guy on national television".

March 24, 2010 - Despite scoring on his first career attempt, Canadiens' defenceman P.K. Subban receives near-unanimous criticism from within the hockey community after he briefly cracks a facial expression.

October 25, 2005 - Amid echoes of shots and clouds of gun smoke, the first shootout in Dallas Stars history resumes after the public address announcer sternly admonishes the Texas crowd that that's not the kind of "shootout" they meant and they know it.

November 10, 2010 - Crafty veteran sniper Ilya Kovalchuk takes full advantage of an advanced scouting report that Sabres' goalie Jhonas Enroth has trouble with slow rollers towards the side boards.

April 11, 2010 - The Flyers eliminate the Rangers from playoff contention on the season's final day when Chris Pronger scores the winner on a move he calls "glue the puck to the front of a stolen zamboni and then run over Henrik Lundqvist while he's taking a drink from his water bottle".

March 11, 2009 - The Vancouver Canucks lose a heartbreaker when Alex Burrows is denied on a brilliant goalmouth kick save by Stephane Auger.

November 3, 2009 - Players begin to realize that the best way to score on Ottawa's Pascal Leclaire is by coming in as slowly as possible, since given enough time he'll eventually keel over from some random injury and you can just tap it into the open net.

February 13, 2008 - After being given a rare shootout opportunity, a confused and frightened Tomas Kaberle spends the next 45 minutes circling the offensive zone in an desperate attempt to find someone to pass to.

Tips for dominating your fantasy hockey draft

After drafting my fifth Red Wing, I
realized my magazine was from 2002.

As the days count down to the start of the NHL's regular season, hockey fans are preparing for an annual September tradition: their fantasy hockey drafts.

A strong draft can give you an enormous advantage in your league, one that could translate into a spot in the winner's circle at the end of the season. The key is to be prepared, and to go into your draft with a focused strategy.

Here are some fantasy draft tips that will help you dominate your league this year.

• Remember that a new coach can have a big influence on a team's offensive output. So make sure to factor in the impact of Tom Renney in Edmonton, John Maclean in New Jersey, and whoever will be coaching the Rangers by mid-December.
  
  
• Instead of using traditional categories like goals and assists, suggest that your pool move to more advanced stats like Corsi and Delta SOT that do a better job of measuring a player's true value. This will give you an advantage during the draft, since your opponents will be distracted thinking about how much they'd like to punch you.
  
  
• If you're lucky enough to get the first overall pick in your draft, be sure to take Alexander Ovechkin. Because if you don't and Capitals owner Ted Leonsis finds out about it, uh oh, here come the blog posts.
  
  
• Be sure to come to your draft with a nice thick magazine. This will give you something to hit your laptop with in case your wireless connection keeps cutting out.
  
  
• Make sure to move Carey Price up your rankings if you play in a league that awards points for bitter, bitter tears.
  
  
• Every year there are a few players who greatly exceed even the most optimistic projections, and who can almost single-handedly determine the winner of a pool. You should probably try to figure out who those guys are going to be this year and then draft a whole bunch of them.
  
  
• As of this week, Vesa Toskala had yet to sign with an NHL team. Until he does, don't forget to reduce your scoring projections for every player in the league by about 25%.
  
  
• Consider using a late pick on Wade Redden if you're looking for a sleeper on the blueline who can quarterback a powerplay and put up decent point totals. You did say you're doing an AHL pool, right?
  
  
• It's always a good strategy to load up on players from teams like the Maple Leafs and Senators, who should finish the season strong since they won't have to save up their energy for the playoffs.
  
  
• Don't be "that guy" who goes to a hockey game and yells at the players to let them know they're on your fantasy team. To really get their attention, you'll need to whisper it from under their bed just as they're falling asleep.
  
  
• Don't forget, before spending a first round pick on Ilya Kovalchuk always check with Gary Bettman first to find out if it's OK.
  
  
• Be aware of your league's roster rules and the potential consequences of not following them. For example, failing to have two NHL goaltenders on your roster can result in invalid lineups, forfeited matchups, and a front office job offer from the Flyers.
  
  
• If you had Olli Jokinen on your team last year and were constantly disappointed by his lacklustre performance, for God's sakes don't go out and reacquire him for this season.
  
  
• Sure, it's always more fun to play in a pool with an "easy money" guy who puts together a terrible team that finishes dead last every year. But John Ferguson Jr. already told you that he's busy this week, so stop calling him.

April Fools - NHL style

Today is April Fools day. We know hockey players love a good laugh, so in the spirit of the occasion I've prepared some suggested practical jokes that various Leafs and other NHLers can play today. No need to thank me, boys, it's my gift to you.

Kyle Wellwood - Between periods, don Timbits jersey and sneak into intermission youth hockey game. Attempt to throw first bodycheck of career. Fail.

Sean Avery - Just for today, use funny smiley faces instead of zeroes on all personal cheques written to prostitutes.

Ray Emery - Perform entire post-game interview with powdered donut on upper lip. Keep asking increasingly uncomfortable Ottawa media what they're looking at.

Mats Sundin - Call Cliff Fletcher. Explain that, on second thought, you will accept a trade if it's not too late. Hang up. Giggle.

Phoenix Coyotes - Repeatedly ask assistant coach Rick Tocchet how his March Madness bracket is looking.

Pierre McGuire - Spend day making and distributing photocopies of "McGuire's Monster".

Paul Maurice - Tell Andrew Raycroft he gets to play tonight. Watch how excited he gets. Look, he's even putting on his equipment and everything!

Alexander Ovechkin - On first shift of the game, intentionally hit both posts to give goalie fleeting sense of hope before immediately scoring on rebound.

Jeremy Roenick - Nothing. His focus is on winning, not cheap antics that serve no purpose other than calling attention to himself.

Peter Forsberg - Play hilarious joke on referee by falling down immediately every time you're touched.

Brian Campbell - When asked if you prefer living in San Jose to Buffalo, pretend to have to think about it for a few seconds.

Carlo Colaiacovo - When asked "How are you?", reply "Fine".

Dominek Hasek - Spend entire day speaking weird moon-man language that nobody can understand.

George Parros - Wear ridiculous novelty moustache over top of ridiculous real moustache.

Edmonton Oilers - Print playoff tickets.

Oli Jokinnen - Leave note in Richard Zednik's locker reading "Next time, I finish the job".

Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley - Play hard on opening shift tonight. Go into corners. Fight through traffic. Earn paychecks. Get back to bench, turn to fans, and say "no, just kidding".

Bryan McCabe - Briefly defy direct order from wife. Immediately apologize and assure her it will not happen again.