Other cases of NHLers getting attacked by animals

Yes, this is a camel scaring Evgeni Malkin.
No, I don't have a joke.

The biggest news in hockey this week was Mike Fisher getting attacked by a chipmunk.

Well, OK, maybe it wasn't the biggest news. But it's a marginally interesting thing that happened, and since training camp hasn't opened yet we will damn well take what we can get. So this week it's animal jokes.

Where was I? Right, Mike Fisher getting attacked by a chipmunk. As it turns out, the tiny creature invaded the home Fisher shares with wife Carrie Underwood, and while heroically trying to protect his family, the Predators center sustained two tiny bite marks on his hand.

As it turns out, that puts Fisher in good company. For some reason, NHL players and personalities just seem to have trouble when it comes to interacting with animals. Here are some recent examples of the hockey world's more dangerous encounters with the animal kingdom:

Gary Bettman - Was badly injured during a recent trip to the zoo after instinctively jumping into the wild canine exhibit in a desperate attempt to prevent the coyotes from moving.

Dustin Brown - Has been tormented his entire career by an invisible wolf who chases him around the ice and repeatedly makes him fall down even though no other players touched him.

Corey Crawford - Was distracted during recent extension negotiations by a giant seabird, I'm pretty sure, since when you type "Corey Crawford contract" into Google it immediately auto-fills "huge albatross".

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Gary Bettman, Donald Fehr and the NHL Lockout's Guilty Conscience

Hey, did you hear that the NHL lockout ended? It totally did! In fact, after four months of hearing about how far apart the two teams were, on Saturday night the deal actually came together kind of quickly.

Almost… too quickly.

Call me crazy, but doesn’t it seem like something must have been going on in the background during all of this that lead to the sudden ending. In fact, I can almost picture it now…

Follow @blogesalming or Dave Nonis will take your job.

Full lyrics after the jump.

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Checking in on the NHL stars playing in Europe

Meet you back here for the 2017 lockout?

The NHL's work stoppage continues to drag on, leaving locked out players unemployed and on the sidelines. Or at least it does for the players who haven't already found a job somewhere else—and lately that list is shrinking rapidly.

It seems as if most of the league's top players have already found new jobs in one of the various European leagues, with new names being added to the list every day. So let's take a moment to catch up with the some of the NHL stars who are currently playing overseas.

Rick Nash - Agreed to terms with Swiss league powerhouse HC Davos after they were willing to meet his critical contract demand that they be absolutely 100% sure that they don't play in Columbus.

Paul Bissonnette - His new contract with the British league's Cardiff Devils gives the veteran enforcer the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be known as "the guy with the relatively nice teeth".

Nicklas Backstrom - Briefly created controversy by wearing #99, which is associated with Wayne Gretzky, before switching to #69, which is associated with that fat guy with the mullet in your ball hockey league.

Alexander Semin - Got tired of constantly being referred to as "the enigmatic Russian"; signed with his hometown team in Russia so that he could try constantly being referred to as "the enigmatic local boy" instead.

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The discarded out-takes from the NHLPA's message to fans

Hey, remember that NHLPA video from a few weeks ago? You know the one: various star players looking into the camera, earnestly describing their love for the game and their frustration over the ongoing lockout? Let's be honest -- it was pretty darn effective.

Of course, not every player who auditioned made the cut. And a few of them took more than one take to get their message just right. The NHLPA kept the good stuff for the final product, and tossed the rest in the trash.

Luckily, Bloge and I happened to be hiding out nearby and were able to grab the out-take reel.

>> More Bloge Salming goodness
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Lemieux: Was deceptively fast going from center ice to the goal, often arriving before the opponent's defence was ready for him.
Roy: Was deceptively fast going from the goal to center ice, often arriving before the Avalanche's goaltender was ready for him.

From An in-depth comparison: Mario Lemieux vs. Patrick Roy, one of 24 chapters of brand new material available exclusively in The Best of Down Goes Brown.
Buy today: Amazon.com | Amazon.ca | Kindle | Barnes & Noble | Nook | Chapters/Indigo | Kobo | iBooks

2012 Free Agency Preview

The last known photo of these two without a
trillion dollars stuffed in their pockets

Tomorrow marks the start of the NHL's annual free agent frenzy. This year's crop is thin on big name talent, but there should be enough top tier players available to ensure that tomorrow will be a busy day.

Here are some of the players who'll be getting the most attention once the clock strikes noon tomorrow.

Ryan Suter

The good: It's extremely rare to have the opportunity to see one of the best defensemen in all of hockey patrolling your team's blueline, so Suter was pretty lucky to get to watch Shea Weber all those years.
The bad: Unlike all his brothers and cousins who are cool about it, when you ask him what it was like growing up on the famous family farm in Viking, Alberta he just stares at you like you're some sort of idiot.
Worth noting: Has been so torn over which of his many potential destinations to choose that he's spent several nights wide awake, pacing his bedroom floor in his favorite Red Wing footy pajamas.

P.A. Parenteau

The good: Shows surprising speed, according to Nassau Coliseum security guards who watched him sprint out of the building the second the season ended.
The bad: Has racked up impressive assist totals with the Islanders over the years, but there's no way of knowing if he could also do it with good players.
Worth noting: His signing will be our only chance to read the headline "Ownership and P.A. reach agreement" for the next six months.

Ray Whitney

The good: Has been a team leader in Phoenix for the past two years, so is probably getting really good at fake-laughing at a teammate's twitter updates.
The bad: Was teammates with Raffi Torres for an entire season and never once pushed him out the cargo door of a moving airplane, so how good a guy can he be?
Worth noting: The league is trying to cut down on ridiculously back-loaded contracts that take a player well past the typical age of retirement, so they'll probably veto any Whitney deal longer than three weeks.

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Behind the scenes at the auditions for the 2012 NHL Awards Show hosting job

Scene: An empty auditorium in Las Vegas. A banner hanging above a stage reads "2012 NHL Awards Show - Host Auditions". In the first row sit three judges, waiting to watch the various candidates read for the part.


Gary Bettman: Hey guys, thanks again for helping me out with this, I really appreciate it.

Brendan Shanahan: No problem, Gary.

Brian Burke: Yeah, I'm not really busy this time of year.

Bettman: OK Brendan, who's up first?

Shanahan: Our first audition is … Tim Thomas.

Tim Thomas (strolling casually on to the stage): Hi guys!

The judges stare at him nervously.

Thomas: What?

Shanahan: Um… I think I speak for everyone when I say we're all waiting for you to say something crazy.

Thomas (laughing good-naturedly): What? Guys, come on, don't believe everything you read. I'm just a regular guy who happens to be a proud American.

Shanahan: Actually, every American I've ever known in hockey makes terrible decisions…

Burke: Hey!

Bettman (reaching to high-five Shanahan): Ha! Burn on you, Brian!

Thomas: Nah, I'm the same guy I've always been. Sure, I've expressed some political views, and they may not happen to be the same ones you share. But that doesn't make me a bad person.

Shanahan: You know, that's actually a very fair point. So why don't you flip to page 12 of the script and read through some of the host's lines. This is the part of the show where you give out the awards that are already pre-determined, like the Art Ross, the Rocket Richard, the President's Trophy…

Thomas: DID SOMEBODY SAY PRESIDENT?

Thomas immediately tears off his tuxedo to reveal a vintage revolutionary war uniform underneath.

Burke: Um, did you make that yourself?

Thomas (proudly): Out of tinfoil!

Shanahan: Let's just get to the next audition.

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Beyond the 1-3-1: Other NHL team defensive systems

What's the difference between a hockey
puck and Mike Richards? The Flyers will
honor a no-movement policy for the puck.

The latest NHL controversy surfaced during Wednesday night's action. Although in fairness, "action" probably isn't the right word.

Early in a game between the Lightning and Flyers, Tampa Bay settled into their patented 1-3-1 defensive system which sees all five skaters take up passive positions in the neutral zone to break up an incoming attack. The Flyers responded by refusing to advance the puck - their defencemen simply held the puck in their own zone.

The result, predictably, was a farce. The game ground to a halt, the officials were forced to repeatedly blow the play dead, and the fans who thought they had paid to see an entertaining game made sure everyone involved knew that they weren't happy. Now there's talk that the league needs to outlaw Tampa Bay's system.

But why single out the Lightning? After all, they're not the only team that employs a specific defensive system. In fact, these days most teams have their own unique ways of keeping the puck out of their net.

Here are just a few of the team-specific defensive systems currently in use around the NHL.

Boston Bruins - Attacking forwards are met in the neutral zone by a winger who attempts to use lateral pressure to direct them towards the far boards as they cross the blueline, at which point Zdeno Chara unhinges his jaw and devours them.

Columbus Blue Jackets - Winger Rick Nash forechecks deep to apply pressure, then follows the defencemen around for the rest of the shift frantically begging them to convince their general manager to trade for him.

Nashville Predators - As soon as opposing players break into the offensive zone against Pekka Rinne, Ryan Suter and Shea Weber casually skate to the bench and let Mr. Moneybags back there handle it.

Calgary Flames - Opposing players entering the attacking zone are told of the details of the Dion Phaneuf for Matt Stajan trade, and then spend the rest of the game standing around trying to figure out how that ever seemed like it would be a good idea.

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Upcoming NHL records and milestones

Every Hab, photographed from five feet high.

"History will be made" has been the NHL's playoff slogan for the past few years, but it could also be applied to the upcoming season. That's because while it's still early, this year is shaping up to be one that could rewrite a few pages of the NHL's history book.

With several hockey legends winding down their careers and a new generation of stars just hitting their prime, some of the game's most cherished records and milestones are within reach. So if you've ever wanted a chance to see history be made, now may be a good time to tune in.

Here are a few of the upcoming records and milestones that fans may have a chance to witness during the 2011-12 season.

Marc Savard - Is just one assist away from 500 for his career, which he should get this season if you're willing to count him assisting Matt Cooke in becoming known as "that jerk who ended Marc Savard's career".

Craig Anderson - Is currently 2,100 goals away from breaking the all-time record for goals allowed in a career, so given how the Senators' season is going so far let's just go ahead and pencil him in for next Friday.

Ray Whitney - Has a chance to join the 1,000 point club this year, which would be a memorable moment for him since it would be guaranteed to happen against a team he once played for.

Adam Oates - Out of all current Hall Of Fame-eligible players, his 1,420 career points will once again make him by far the all-time leader among those angrily standing in line to purchase admission.

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2011-12 Season Preview - Western Conference

The 2011-12 season preview continues today with the Western Conference. (You can find yesterday's Eastern Conference preview here.)

Pacific Division

San Jose Sharks: The team is expecting strong seasons from the various players who were recently called up from their farm team in Minnesota.

Anaheim Ducks: Of all the top lines in the Western Conference, experts agree that the Ducks' trio of Corey Perry, Ryan Getzlaf and Bobby Ryan is without question the best one to feature three different DNA sequences.

Phoenix Coyotes: Not sure if it's a bad sign, but Paul Bissionnette's most recent 140-character tweet included the full name of every one of the team's season ticket holders.

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Tips for dominating your fantasy hockey draft

With the start of the regular season just nine days away, hockey fans will be gathering in basements, pubs and boardrooms across North America this week for their annual fantasy hockey drafts.

No doubt thousands of fans are tweaking their cheat sheets at this very moment, most likely while they're supposed to be working. But while a spreadsheet full of stats and projections may be nice, it won't help you take home the winner's prize money unless you back it up with a top-notch draft night strategy.

If your fantasy league is drafting this week, here are some tips to keep in mind to help you come away with your best roster ever:

• When forecasting year-end point totals, don't forget to factor in that every player in the league is expected to miss at least 20 games this season due to suspensions from Brendan Shanahan.
  
  
• Just because a player has never had more than 25 points in a season is no reason not to draft him just as highly as players who regularly score twice that, according to Kyle Turris's agent.
  
  
• Make sure you understand your league's structure and are clear on terminology. A head-to-head league is a lot of fun and is run by fans who enjoy direct competition with fellow owners. An elbow-to-head league is less fun and is run by Matt Cooke.
  
  
• When it's time to collect everyone's $20 for the prize pool, ask Terry Pegula if he'd be willing to kick in an extra $10 million up front for no reason. He usually agrees to that.
  

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April Fools - NHL style

A convincing argument against seamless glass.

Today is April Fool's Day, which is best known around North America as the traditional day for dull conglomerates to post painfully bad attempts at humour on their corporate web sites. But some of us may still remember the day's original meaning: an opportunity to play practical jokes on friends and coworkers.

What does this have to do with hockey? Well, there are two things we all can all agree on when it comes to NHL players: They love playing practical jokes on each other, and they all read my columns first thing in the morning before heading to the rink. And given those two facts, I feel like I should take the opportunity to help everyone have some fun.

So in the spirit of some good-natured tomfoolery, here are a few ideas that various players and personalities around the league should feel free to use on this special day. Let the hijinks ensue.

Sidney Crosby - After finally being cleared to resume practising, lightly bump into a teammate during a scrimmage and immediately fall to the ice clutching your head. Months later, reveal to that teammate that you were only joking while chatting with him at the drive-through window where he now works.

Mike Fisher - Walk up to a member of the Nashville media and introduce self by saying "Hi, I'm Mike Fisher from the Predators" before immediately adding "no, just kidding, I'm Carrie Underwood's husband".

Edmonton Oilers - Send the entire scouting staff to sit in front row and watch top prospect Sean Couturier at tonight's game while scribbling furiously in little notebooks and flashing each other the thumbs up. Watch how depressed he gets when he sees them. Hey look, I think he started crying!

NBC Sports - Tell your viewers that the New York Rangers are currently tied for seventh place, as if the NHL has more than five different teams.

Jonathan Toews - Show off your sense of humour by spending a minute blinking exactly once every 12 seconds, rather than once every 15 seconds like normal.

Tomas Kaberle - Good-naturedly inform your new Bruins teammates that hey, nice try guys, but you're not going to fall for that "We still have to play more games even after the regular season" ends joke.

Ilya Kovalchuk - Call Lou Lamoriello, tell him that you think it's about time to start talking extension.

Matthew Hulsizer - Hilariously tell your old pal Gary Bettman that you'd totally be willing to buy the Coyotes and keep them in Phoenix, and - hey, why is Bettman signing the paperwork? Guys, I was obviously joking. Hey, this isn't funny anymore!

NHL Central Scouting - Release an updated list of the top 300 prospects for the upcoming draft; slip Phil Kessel's name in at #301.

Paul Bissonnette - Spend all day arguing with your twitter followers that the infinite regress problem can be adequately resolved by a reliance on foundational beliefs that give justificatory support to more complex beliefs, before eventually revealing that you were actually a devoted advocate of Pyrrhonian skepticism all along.

Corey Perry - Sneak in and steal Teemu Selanne's towel while he's soaking in that mysterious, glowing fountain that he bathes in every day for some reason.

Henrik and Daniel Sedin - Just to see what would happen, briefly pass the puck to that strange person who seems to think he plays on our line even though he doesn't look anything like us.

Pittsburgh Penguins - Play a hilarious joke on a rookie during a road trip by refusing to place his luggage on the team bus next to the other luggage; instead place it under the team bus, next to Matt Cooke.

Toronto Maple Leafs - Pretend to be playoff contenders during a late-season surge before revealing on April 1 that it was all an elaborate joke played at the expense of your fans. So, same as every other year.

***

This is the fourth annual April Fools post. The previous version are here: 2008 | 2009 | 2010

Handicapping the NHL awards race

This year's Hart favourite
and/or last year's winner.

With the season winding down, it's a good time to look ahead to award season. Which players will be collecting hardware when the league hands out its traditional trophies for regular season excellence?

Here's a look at the current favourites for the major awards.

***

Hart Trophy
Awarded to the same player who wins the Art Ross trophy for leading the league in scoring, but that won't stop us all from arguing about it for two months.

Daniel Sedin - Would win the award for the second straight year, insists the old guy who takes the photos of the winners standing next to the trophy.

Steven Stamkos - Scores most of his goals on identical one-timers from the exact same spot, which is what happens when kids who grew up playing the EA Sports NHL video game series start entering league.

Corey Perry - This underrated player would be one of the league's biggest stars if he played in a market like New York or Toronto according to the west coast hockey media, we think, although to be honest we pretty much tuned them out as soon as they started talking.

***

Vezina Trophy
Awarded for excellence in goaltending, as voted on by the same general mangers who give multimillion dollar contracts to guys like Michael Leighton and Nikolai Khabibulin.

Carey Price - Is going to have been totally robbed if he doesn't win, according to thousands of Montreal 911 callers.

Pekka Rinne - When you see the sort of numbers he's putting up, you can't help but make a mental note to yourself to look up which team it is that he plays for.

Tim Thomas - Has a fantastic goals against average thanks to not actually facing a shot on net ever since Zdeno Chara started standing at the blue line during pregame warm ups, pointing to the stanchion and cracking his knuckles.

***

Jack Adams Award
Awarded to the coach of the team that most outperformed the preseason media consensus, since how else could media predictions ever turn out wrong?

Dan Bylsma - The popular wacky neighbour character from HBO's 24/7 series has now been spun off into his very own show.

Guy Boucher - Rookie head coach quickly figured out which skills would be most important behind the Lightning bench; namely, making annoyed eye contact with the backup goalie.

Jacques Lemaire - Would be an unlikely choice, given that the team barely listened to a word he said until December.

***

Calder Trophy
Awarded to that really good rookie who your team totally would have drafted if they had only listened to you.

Jeff Skinner - It would be fun to see him sprint to the stage in Vegas to accept the award while a group of security guards chased after him yelling about how preteens aren't allowed on casino grounds.

Corey Crawford - Managed to win the starter's job away from Marty Turco, which is something most rookies wouldn't be able to do in the sense that most rookies aren't goalies.

Logan Couture - Will probably win, given that he was drafted by the Sharks thanks to the Vesa Toskala trade and the hockey gods haven't given Maple Leaf fans a good solid kick in the solar plexus in almost a whole month.

***

Norris Trophy
Awarded annually to the defenceman adjudged to be Nicklas Lidstrom.

Kris Letang - Stepped up to fill an important void in Pittsburgh by being willing to not be injured for half the season.

Keith Yandle - Has the disadvantage of playing for the Phoenix Coyotes, meaning the only way most hockey fans will ever hear his name is if Paul Bissonnette tweets about him.

Nicklas Lidstrom - Is actually on pace to be a minus player for the first time in his career, although he'd be +35 if you don't count that one game where the Red Wings let Chris Osgood play.

***

Selke Trophy
Awarded to the best offensive forward who has ever been within 30 feet of his own goaltender.

Jonathan Toews - Should probably win, since if he doesn't he'll just stare at the trophy until it spontaneously combusts.

Pavel Datsyuk - Has won the award three years straight, thanks largely to the unfair advantage of being the only player nominated who never has to try to shut down Pavel Datsyuk.

Ryan Kesler - He may not win the award, but you can bet he'll be lurking somewhere on the stage when it's handed out.

A look at the agenda for today's NHL general managers meeting

Hello, complaints hotline?
This breadstick tastes terrible!

All 30 NHL general managers will be in Toronto today for their annual discussion on the state of the game. And while that may sound like just another boring business meeting, there could be some fireworks this year.

The meeting has become an important part of the league calendar, as it gives each GM an opportunity to let his colleagues know what's on his mind. And this year, many of the league's highest profile general managers appear to have plenty that they want to get off their chests.

According to sources, every general manager was given the opportunity to submit one agenda item for discussion. Here's a sampling of what's been bothering several of the league's biggest front office names:

Don Maloney, Phoenix Coyotes - The use of social media by players like Paul Bissonnette violates our league marketing policy by allowing fans to become aware of the existence of players other than Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin.

Doug Wilson, San Jose Sharks - We'd like to rescind our previous support for the league's new policy on headshots, as we were not told that those rules might be enforced against players on our roster.

Dale Tallon, Florida Panthers - We must institute a detailed coach's review system for initiating replays on all goals scored by Colton Orr, because man, you just know that guy did something.

Glen Sather, New York Rangers - We should definitely renew that league bylaw that prevents teams from firing general managers. Wait, we don't have that rule? Seriously? Wow.

Lou Lamoriello, New Jersey Devils - Hey guys, remember in the summer when you said you'd veto the Ilya Kovalchuk contract if there was any evidence of collusion? Well, craziest thing, but guess what I found behind the filing cabinet this morning?

Steve Tambellini, Edmonton Oilers - That whole thing with the jersey number was bad enough, but now Taylor Hall is obsessed with getting Kevin Lowe's executive parking spot too.

George McPhee, Washington Capitals - Hey, what if just to mix it up this year we gave the President's Trophy to the team that won four playoff rounds and the Stanley Cup to whoever wound up with the most regular season points?

Ken Holland, Detroit Red Wings - In an attempt to reduce the role of the shootout, maybe we could try a radical new system in which tie games would be settled by playing actual hockey.

Dean Lombardi, Los Angeles Kings - We must move quickly to institute a limit on the length and value of contract extensions for third year players, or at least convince Drew Doughty's agent that we did.

Greg Sherman, Colorado Avalanche - Look, I know I'm not exactly a veteran here, but I've been on the job for over a year now so it would be cool if I could sit at the big table with you guys instead of at this little folding table off to the side and … no? OK, just checking, I guess I'll be over here if anyone needs me.

Brian Burke, Toronto Maple Leafs - We must find a way to prevent fans from doing disgraceful things like booing Dion Phaneuf, and get them to start doing more reasonable things like booing the entire team, coaching staff, and front office.

Chuck Fletcher, Minnesota Wild - You know that whole thing about the sins of the father being visited upon the son? That doesn't apply to Jeff Finger, right?

Joe Nieuwendyk, Dallas Stars - Just spitballing here, but maybe we could spend a few minutes trying to figure out what the Hall of Fame selection committee's problem is.

Darcy Regier, Buffalo Sabres - Instead of waiting until the first week of November, we should consider having the season start in early October. Wait, what do you mean we already do that? But we told our players that… Uh oh.

A professional athlete's guide to Twitter

No really, we'd love to hear
more about your Belgian waffles.

Twitter is all the rage in the online world, and these days more and more professional athletes are joining the craze. From legends like new Miami Heat star Lebron James to fourth-liners like Coyote's enforcer Paul Bissonnette, it seems like every day brings a new headline someone from the sports world making news with their tweets.

But while sharing with fans may seem like a good idea, many athletes end up having a negative experience on the site. That's because there are several common mistakes that athletes make on Twitter, and those mistakes can cause serious damage to even the biggest star's reputation.

It doesn't have to be that way. So if you're a professional athlete who's thinking about joining Twitter, read on for some simple guidelines that will help you ensure that your time on the site is beneficial for both you and your fans.

Introduction
Launched in 2006, Twitter is a web site that allows hundreds of millions of users from around the world to look at pictures of a whale being carried by birds. On rare occasions, the site also allows users to share short updates called “tweets” with their followers.

By tweeting, you can keep fans up to date on what's happening in your career. Think of it as being just like getting to know your fans in person, except without all the paternity suits.

When to tweet
Fans are fascinated by the inner workings of professional sports, and especially love to get updates from inside the stadium or arena. However, use discretion to make sure you are only sharing information at appropriate times.

Good: Just finished warm up. Feeling good about our chances in tonight's game, and know that we will all give 100%.
Bad: In locker room. Team doctor says that despite the concussion symptoms, I should be fine to get back out there and banana toolbox salamander.
Worse: Leading the offensive rush across the Maple Leafs blueline. Hey, look, here comes Dion Phaneuf, I wonder if he'll want to [CONNECTION LOST].

What to tweet
Sports fans are fascinated by the day-to-day lives of professional athletes, so they'll appreciate updates about just about anything you happen to be doing at a particular moment. For example, you could tweet about what you're having for lunch. Just be aware of any unintended messages you may be sending.

Good: Just ordered a pizza, which is my favourite food because I'm a regular guy just like you.
Bad: Just ordered crowned rack of lamb, which is my favourite food because I'm like a million times better than you.
Worse: Just had my chef prepare my favourite meal: Baby seal heart wrapped in bacon, wrapped in $100 dollar bills, which are then wrapped in bacon.

Blocking users
Unfortunately, you will occasionally encounter users who are aggressive or obnoxious. While Twitter does have a “block” feature, using it is considered a breach of etiquette and will make you appear thin-skinned and petty. Instead simply send one of your bodyguards to their house to kill them.

Typos
Typos are common on Twitter, and generally aren't considered a big deal. If you realize you've made some, a simple apology and explanation will suffice.

Good: Sorry for all the typos. I'm not used to the keyboard on my new phone yet.
Bad: Sorry for all the typos. I haven't had to pay attention in any academic course since I was fourteen years old.
Worse: Sorry for all the typos. It's hard to type when your fingers are all swollen from years of HGH.

Using acronyms
When communicating online, users will often use abbreviations and acronyms. This is especially true on Twitter, where every character counts.

For example, one of the most common abbreviations is “LOL”, which stands for “laugh out loud”. When used properly, it indicates that there is something about the previous statement which you found humorous.

Good: The sick child I'm visiting in the hospital just told me his favourite knock-knock joke. LOL.
Bad: At training camp watching Albert Haynesworth try to do a sit up. LOL.
Worse: And then I told Jim Gray that I only made up my mind that morning. LOL.

In conclusion
The world of Twitter can be confusing for beginners. By following these simple guidelines, you can make sure your time on the site is an enriching experience for both you and your fans.

And when in doubt, remember the one golden rule for professional athletes on Twitter: Just look at what Chris Bosh is doing.

Then do the exact opposite.