Friday, October 21, 2011

Upcoming NHL records and milestones

Every Hab, photographed from five feet high.
"History will be made" has been the NHL's playoff slogan for the past few years, but it could also be applied to the upcoming season. That's because while it's still early, this year is shaping up to be one that could rewrite a few pages of the NHL's history book.

With several hockey legends winding down their careers and a new generation of stars just hitting their prime, some of the game's most cherished records and milestones are within reach. So if you've ever wanted a chance to see history be made, now may be a good time to tune in.

Here are a few of the upcoming records and milestones that fans may have a chance to witness during the 2011-12 season.

Marc Savard - Is just one assist away from 500 for his career, which he should get this season if you're willing to count him assisting Matt Cooke in becoming known as "that jerk who ended Marc Savard's career".

Craig Anderson - Is currently 2,100 goals away from breaking the all-time record for goals allowed in a career, so given how the Senators' season is going so far let's just go ahead and pencil him in for next Friday.

Ray Whitney - Has a chance to join the 1,000 point club this year, which would be a memorable moment for him since it would be guaranteed to happen against a team he once played for.

Adam Oates - Out of all current Hall Of Fame-eligible players, his 1,420 career points will once again make him by far the all-time leader among those angrily standing in line to purchase admission.

Arron Asham - Is apparently going to try to break the NHL record for most time's miming a "make you go to sleep" motion, previously set in 1995 by Lou Lamoriello while explaining the Devil's defensive philosophy for the next decade.

Sean Avery - His recent demotion to the AHL allowed him to become the all-time leader in fashion sense among minor league hockey players, beating out that guy in 2002 who did his laundry once.

Nicklas Lidstrom - Will reach the 1,500 game milestone tomorrow night, which is great because he's always seemed like a good kid and it will be nice to see him finally accomplish something.

Brendan Shanahan - At the current pace, his "Brendan Shanahan Explains a Suspension" series will have produced more episodes than The Simpsons by mid-December.

Hal Gill - The Canadiens defenceman played in his 1,000th career game last night, an achievement that was honoured during a touching pre-game ceremony in which a commemorative banner was raised to the rafters until he complained that it was blocking his view.

Roberto Luongo - Will be attempting to win 16 playoff games this year the way great goaltenders do, instead of winning 15 playoff games the way completely terrible goaltenders do.

Calgary Flames - Even though experts have long considered it one of hockey's most unbreakable records, have apparently decided to try to set the all-time mark for most Jay Bouwmeesters on the roster of a playoff team.

Paul Bissonnette - Recently set an NHL player's Twitter record for the most fans replied to, at 5,000, as well as the most fans replied to who are not attractive women wearing bikinis in their profile photo, at three.

Ondrej Pavelec - With a solid year, he has a shot at breaking the franchise record for wins in a season by a Winnipeg Jets goalie that's currently held by Kari Lehtonen, or maybe Ilya Bryzgalov, oh wait Bob Essensa, actually you know what let's just never speak of this again.

Mike Milbury - He recently argued that any attempt to reduce hockey violence will ruin the sport forever. Oh wait, sorry, that's the other kind of broken record.

Phil Kessel - His hot start has given him an chance at breaking the record for most times being mentioned by name in media stories about Phil Kessel, which for the last two years has been held by Tyler Seguin.




25 comments:

  1. On a serious note, Martin Brodeur is one loss away from the All-Time loss record for a goalie...

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  2. The Kessel comment is gold.

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  3. This has to be one of your best ever! The Craig Anderson and Adam Oates jokes were cruel, but funny. And you can never go wrong with a Sean Avery fashion remark. :)

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  4. Gold:)Ttyler Seguin :)

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  5. Oates might have to wait until Taylor Hall is inducted.

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  6. Great Stuff ! As you know, the Bruins season doesn't start until Kessel shows up on Causeway Street.

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  7. Wow, this was brilliant. I feel like Sedin getting speedbagged by laughter.

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  8. I love how people still refuse to believe that the Devils were #2 and #1 in total goals scored in 2000 and 2001.

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  9. I recently explained to a friend of mine that Paul Bissonette was the "Gretzky" of Twitter. Just not sure how much scoring is actually being done. (Plenty of shots taken though)

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  10. It's not that people refuse to believe the Devils scored a lot. It's just that they were still horrendously boring.

    Anyway: the Bouwmeester and Kessel jokes were gold.

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  11. Oh yes, Milbury's record has been broken for some time now....

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  12. Bravo, best in a while. The Bouwmeester bit in particular had me cracking up.

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  13. Wow - that Oates joke *almost* made me wince. Maybe he should hold out and demand that the HOF renegotiate their entry requirements.

    yeah - Blues fan here, still bitter after all these years.

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  14. the bouwmeester one
    dying

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  15. WOW! OUTSTANDING! MY NIPPLES ARE SWOLLEN!
    OATES & KESSEL! YE-OWSA!

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  16. Gill may be the only player in NHL history to reach the 1000 games played milestone in less time than it takes him to skate from one end of the rink to the other.

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  17. The Habs had a pre-game ceremony? But that never happens.

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  18. Gill may be the only player in NHL history to reach the 1000 games played milestone without anyone noticing.

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  19. @Down Goes Avery Brodeur has also played 191 more games then CuJo, the current record holder. He also has a better winning percentage then any other goalie top 15 in wins.

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  20. It was a great game! I did not expect the Leafs to win but they pulled through again :):)

    Hopefully Reimer isn't injured seriously!!

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  21. The caption on the Gill photo is prize!

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  22. OK I am sorry for being slow, but can someone explain this caption for me?

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  23. Re the Milbury bit, Mickey Redmond had a great comment after a fight at the Joe during a recent Wings game. To paraphrase it went something like this "Yep, fighting has no place in the NHL, and right now 20,000 fans are on thier feet complaining about it".

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