How to buy out a player: The NHL's handy form

Yashin always wore a turtle-neck. Or, as
hockey players call it, a Carcillo-neck.

It's the second week of August, which means there's not much news on the NHL transaction page these days. The blockbuster trades have already been made, free agency has slowed to a crawl, and most teams seem satisfied to wait out the rest of the offseason without making any significant moves.

But there is one exception: With arbitration hearings now wrapped up, some teams now have a second opportunity to buy out unwanted players. This year's buyout periods have already claimed players such as Chris Drury and Colin White. But while fans have become used to the annual news of offseason buyouts, few know the behind-the-scenes process for making them happen.

As it turns out, it's not all that complicated. All a general manager has to do is fill out a simple one-page form, and luckily my spies at the league office were able to provide me with a copy.

***

Dear NHL general manager,

Congratulations on your decision to buy out a player. This process provides an excellent opportunity to correct your past mistakes, or at the very least spread the cap hit out into future seasons when, let's be honest, it will be some other guy's problem.

Please complete the form below and submit it to the league office. Note that the buyout will not be official until the league has approved it, so please refrain from setting the content of the player's locker on fire until then.

Player's first name: _________________
Player's last name: _________________
Player's nickname that you call him publicly: _________________
Player's nicknames that you call him under your breath every time he touches the puck:
_________________
_________________
_________________ (use the back of the application form if you need more room)

The player's current annual cap hit: $ ____________

Wow…. Really?
( ) Sigh
( ) Next question please.

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