will stop this season and stacked them on top
of each other, how high would that pile be?"
All of which is to say that hockey fans could be forgiven if they aren't familiar with the league's newest bench bosses. So here's a handy guide to the half dozen men who are making their debut behind a bench this year.
Glen Gulutzan, Dallas Stars
Previous experience: Won the John Brophy Award for his work as coach of the Las Vegas Wranglers in 2006, so presumably rocks a mean fedora.
Early-season adjustment: Was recently able to get the media to finally start questioning him about strategy and roster decisions, instead of spending every press conference repeatedly asking "No, but seriously, who are you?"
Possible cause for concern: Reports of a possible sale of the team to a businessman from Vancouver could lead to the team's budget being slashed, or at least pretending to be slashed in an attempt to draw a penalty.
Kevin Dineen, Florida Panthers
Previous experience: His 20-year NHL playing career included a stint as Flyers captain that was interrupted when he was traded, which is really odd because that never happens says Mike Richards sarcastically.
Early-season adjustment: Has repeatedly had to politely ask Brian Campbell to stop coming back to the bench and saying "Hey, I just made more money on that shift than guys like you did during the entire 1980s!"
Possible cause for concern: Told reporters during training camp that he was looking forward to coaching emerging star David Booth, or the package of excellent young players the team would inevitably get in return if they ever traded him.
Claude Noël, Winnipeg Jets
Previous experience: Won ten games as the interim head coach of the Columbus Blue Jackets in 2010, which is ten more than they're apparently planning on winning this season.
Early-season adjustment: Players from last year's Atlanta squad come into his office every day and say "Hey, I know I asked you this yesterday, but today is going to be the absolute coldest it gets in this city, right?"
Possible cause for concern: Had to break the news to his players that all their kids would be failing geography this year, at least if there were any questions on the test about what "southeast" means.
Mike Yeo, Minnesota Wild
Previous experience: Rose to prominence as coach of the Penguins' powerplay during their 2009 Stanley Cup year, although admittedly his strategy of repeatedly yelling "Pass it to Crosby and Malkin!" hasn't been as effective in Minnesota.
Early-season adjustment: While his insistence that his players always contribute to charitable causes for the less fortunate is admirable, he probably should have clarified that he didn't mean losing games to the Ottawa Senators.
Possible cause for concern: The dressing room has already split into cliques, with the players who played for San Jose last year calling themselves "the ex-Sharks Club", and the players who didn't play for San Jose last year calling themselves "Mikko Koivu".
Peter DeBoer, New Jersey Devils
Previous experience: Spent three years as the head coach of the Florida Panthers, so will have to adjust to working with talented players.
Early-season adjustment: Pulled Ilya Kovalchuk aside and told him "Look, it's either my way or the highway, or the way of one of the other dozen coaches you'll have during the rest of your contract here."
Possible cause for concern: Lou Lamoriello has given him a full vote of confidence, but still walks around at all times with nine of the ten digits in Jacques Lemaire's number pre-dialled into his cell phone.
Paul MacLean, Ottawa Senators
Previous experience: Has spent almost 20 years as an assistant coach or in the minors while dreaming of someday leading his own NHL team, and this is probably close enough.
Early-season adjustment: In hindsight, shouldn't have assumed that the forwards were all emerging superstars based on how they always scored on every shot they took in practice.
Possible cause for concern: Senator players have spent the last three years in a constant state of uncertainty over who would be coaching the team next month, and are now getting complacent knowing that it will be Dave Cameron.