Saturday, December 19, 2009

Ten signs that your team bus is on fire

Bus on fire
I hear the coach is on the hot seat
Yesterday saw a bizarre story out of Ottawa, where the visiting Minnesota Wild's team bus caught fire, incinerating all their equipment.

Thankfully, nobody was hurt. But what about next time? Are NHL teams really prepared to deal with this sort of dangerous scenario?

As with any fire, early detection is the key. So as a public service, I'm offering this list of ten signs that your team bus might be on fire, which I'd suggest NHL teams print out and post on all team vehicles.

  • The cloud of smoke billowing out from Ray Emery's seat smells slightly different than usual.

  • Everyone is pointing at your bus and yelling "Go Flames Go", but you don't play for Calgary.

  • Brendan Witt looked like he was carrying a propane tank right before you ran over him.

  • Carey Price has started smoking again. Literally.

  • You play for Edmonton, and for the first time since mid-October your wife isn't nagging you about how cold she is.

  • The steam that's usually coming out of John Tortorella's ears has now been joined by steam coming out of his eyes, mouth and nose.

  • For the first time in his hockey career, Jason Spezza is sweating.

  • You are attempting to drive away from the arena after a tough playoff loss in Montreal.

  • A few minutes ago you saw Kyle Wellwood stuffing his face with cookie dough, but now he's stuffing his face with freshly baked cookies.

  • You suddenly hear more sirens than Vesa Toskala at the Verizon Center.




13 comments:

  1. Hahaha!

    "A few minutes ago you saw Kyle Wellwood stuffing his face with cookie dough, but now he's stuffing his face with freshly baked cookies."

    Golden as usual DGB,

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  2. For the first time in his hockey career, Jason Spezza is sweating.

    Solid Gold.

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  3. Beauty

    The Kyle Wellwood one is icing on the cake

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  4. What's going on in Ottawa? The Sabres got food poisoning, then the Wild's bus burned down - if the Bruins fall into a bottomless pit I think people are going to start getting suspicious.

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  5. saving the best for last ... "You suddenly hear more sirens than Vesa Toskala at the Verizon Center" another winner, DGB!

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  6. Hilarious as always, but I should point out it wasn't their team bus, but rather a cube van that was bringing equipment back from the practice facilty...

    The Spezza and Wellwood cracks were awesome!!!

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  7. DGB, you know what I want for Christmas? A best of Wellwood blog entry. What do ya say? A highlight reel of your best Wellwood material. Don't make me CRTL-F my way through your archives!

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  8. Wellwood would never eat his own kind.

    WOO-HOO!

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  9. So Wellwood is actually an Easy-Bake Oven.

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  10. While this was AWESOME, I am quite surprised and maybe a little saddened that there was no fart joke. With 30 teams in the league there had to be SOMEONE to make a fart joke about!

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  11. Haha any joke about Spezza gets me every time.

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  12. I think Torts head could start a fire on its own to be honest, especially the way my Rangers have been playing. Either that or its Lundqvist giving a deathstare until he actually achieved heat vision.

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