Rare recent footage of a hockey player
wearing a maple leaf celebrating something.
wearing a maple leaf celebrating something.
Of course, that's a more realistic goal for some teams than for others. Here's a look at the strengths and weaknesses of all ten teams participating in this year's tournament.
USA
The good: As tournament host, will be bombarded with "Go Canada Go" chants that are slightly less deafening than in other years.
The bad: A United States team made up mostly of young college kids has never won a
major hockey tournament on home ice, presumably, since that seems like the sort of thing American sports fans would probably bring up every once in a while.
Russia
The good: After checking and rechecking the tournament roster rules, team officials have confirmed that Evgeni Nabokov is not eligible to participate.
The bad: Many players have spent their entire lives in places like Siberia, and may have a difficult time adjusting to the harsher living conditions of Buffalo.
Finland
The good: Have made good progress in their quest to earn a World Junior medal, thanks to a national program called "Operation Convince Them To Start Giving Out a Medal For Sixth Place".
The bad: As always, you can distract them during the game by yelling "Hey Teemu!" and waiting for half the players to turn around and say "Yes?"
Germany
The good: Are unlikely to get blown out more than four or five times.
The bad: Due to a linguistic misunderstanding over the term "World Junior Championships", have sent a team consisting entirely of small children who have the same names as their fathers.
Czech Republic
The good: The team seems fired up thanks to a passionate pre-tournament motivational speech from the country's best-known hockey ambassador, Jaromir Jagr's 1991 mullet.
The bad: The national program is so badly underfunded that they often can't afford to supply star players with basic necessities, such as vowels.
Sweden
The good: Goaltender Robin Lehner is a Senators prospects but has not spent much time in Ottawa yet, so he may still have some vague clue how to make an occasional save.
The bad: Not to be nitpicky, but they maybe should have hired a head coach who speaks Swedish.
Slovakia
The good: Virtually the entire roster is able to focus exclusively on this tournament, without the distraction of thinking about future professional careers.
The bad: In hindsight, it may have been a mistake to stop producing decent hockey players in 2000.
Switzerland
The good: Islander draft pick Nino Niederreiter will be extra motivated to do well since he knows it's his last chance to win anything until he reaches unrestricted free agency.
The bad: Everything the nation knows about hockey comes from a single smuggled in copy of NHL '93, so their entire offensive strategy consists of lobbing weak wrist shots at the goaltender and hoping he slides all the way across the crease for no reason.
Norway
The good: Starting goalie Lars Volden is a Maple Leafs prospect, and will be gaining invaluable experience on how to get completely shelled in Buffalo.
The bad: They'll find it nearly impossible to field a competitive team thanks to an obscure tournament rule that stipulates that their roster must consist entirely of Norwegians.
Canada
The good: Will be one of the hungriest teams at the tournament, since as per Canadian law they won't be given any food or water until they've won the gold medal.
The bad: Will be under more pressure from home fans than any other team in the tournament, given that they're the only team from a country where fans are aware this tournament is taking place.
