and immediately offered the
tournament a 14-year contract
he had no intention of honoring.
It's almost World Juniors time again, with the eagerly anticipated annual tournament kicking off next week in Russia. Here's an advanced scouting report on the ten teams competing to take home the gold.
United States
The good: Top prospect Seth Jones is the son of former NBA star Popeye Jones, but chose to pursue a career in hockey instead in an attempt to maximize the percentage of his career he can lose to lockouts.
The bad: Have had to waste valuable training camp time repeatedly ejecting undercover Russian spy Alex Galchenyuk and his ridiculous cover story about being born in Wisconsin.
Sweden
The good: Are apparently the defending champion, according to North American hockey fans who just Wikipedia'd last year's tournament because they stop paying attention once their team is out.
The bad: Goaltender Oscar Dansk was a high pick in the 2012 NHL draft, but it was by Columbus so it's possible he's never actually been on skates before.
Switzerland
The good: Are said to have their most athletically gifted team ever.
The bad: That means that this year when somebody yells "Oh no, Team Canada is taking a slapshot, everybody run!", some of the players will be physically capable of running.
Slovakia
The good: The national program continues to produce excellent players.
The bad: Many of them are unavailable for this tournament because, following long-established Slovakian law, the country's five best players each year are merged Voltron-style to create a new version of Zdeno Chara.
