The Ottawa Sun: Your source for coverage of the Leafs and also those other guys

I've made the occasional mention of the defining characteristic of a Senators fan: a crippling insecurity about the Maple Leafs. This leads to folks in Ottawa spending a lot of time complaining that the Leafs are on TV too much, accusing every broadcaster of secretly being a Toronto homer, and pleading with Leaf fans to not make too much noise at Senator games.

But there are days when you have to feel for these guys. While it may seem pathetic to spend your every waking hour looking under your bed for Leaf fans, sometimes it's understandable. After all, it's not paranoia if it's true.

For example, today's Ottawa Sun has a 20-page sports section. Here's how their hockey coverage breaks down:

Ottawa Senators:

• One almost full-page story about last night's Islanders game
  
• An additional full page of Sens/Isles coverage with Don Brennan
  
• A one-page fluff piece about Shean Donovan, the sort of thing you expect to see in a high school newsletter. We learn that he likes Kraft Dinner and Nickelback

Toronto Maple Leafs:

• A small story about last night's Leafs/Flyers game
  
• A half-page column on Brian Burke (Mike Zeisberger's piece from the Toronto Sun)
  
• Two more full pages about Brian Burke (from Bill Lankhof)
  
• Bruce Garrioch's "Rinkwrap" rumor column, featuring four separate items on the Leafs (nothing about Ottawa)
  
• A short story about Jason Blake's upcoming return to the lineup
  
• Steve Simmons' weekly column, most of which is about the Leafs

Just to be clear, this is the Ottawa Sun.

I can only imagine how maddening it must be as a Sens fan to open your own local paper and see more ink spilled about your hated rival than about your own team. Sure, Brian Burke is a big story, but if the Sens hired a new GM tomorrow do you think the Toronto Sun would give it more than two column inches?

Hell, there's even a top ten list of famous "own goals", written by the Winnipeg Sun's Todd Wyman, that includes Bryan McCabe but somehow leaves out Chris Phillips' infamous wraparound on Ray Emery. The Sens can't even get a mention when they score a Stanley Cup winner.

So the next time you mention the Leafs to a Sens fan and they start into a red-faced, spittle-launching rant about Bob Cole and the Toronto Sports Network and the secret message you hear if you play the HNIC theme backwards and how unfair it all is... give them a break.

They may be on to something.

Ottawa Sun: Everybody hates the Leafs because I say so

The "Is this the worst it's ever been" series will conclude on Monday. In the meantime, I couldn't resist posting this latest piece of Ottawa Sun goodness.

Here's a story by media critic Crash Cameron from Friday's paper, in which he trots out the old argument (much beloved in Ottawa) that the CBC should show fewer Leaf games.

Unfortunately too many broadcast decision-makers don't understand that, while the numbers can look good on paper, there's a widespread, well-entrenched hate on in our hockey nation for the Maple Leafs.

Yeah, those dumb broadcast decision-makers, so caught up in "the numbers". Always trying measure things like ratings with objective, indisputable statistics and data. What a bunch of eggheads!

I mean sure, the numbers might seem to show that the Leafs are the most popular team to watch in the country, which would make it moronic for the CBC to stop showing them. But that's only if you look at the numbers "on paper". If you crumple that paper into a little ball and throw it into your wastebasket, what do those numbers say now? Not much!

Luckily, Crash Cameron is here to set everyone straight. People hate the Leafs. And not even in the good way.

But it's not like, say, a hate for the New York Yankees where people will tune in to watch the Boston Red Sox lay a smack on A-Rod's Evil Empire. Or to see the Florida Marlins or Arizona Diamondbacks or any team beat them in the World Series.

Cameron then goes on to cite several studies that back up his theory that everyone hates the Leafs and nobody wants to watch them.

Ha ha! Just kidding. He just states his opinion as fact, and hurries on to the next paragraph.

With the Leafs, it's as much tune out as tune in. For too long (with the brief exceptions of the Sittler-Salming and the Dougie Gilmour "What a guy, I tell ya" eras) the Leafs have been a dull, hopeless hockey team, an over-ripe product that has been forced down our throats.

So bad news, Leaf fans. Those six straight years from 1998-2004 under Pat Quinn when the Leafs averaged 98 points a season? Never happened.

Which is odd, because I could swear the Leafs won a lot of playoff rounds during that time. Many of them were even against the same team. I'll have to look that up some day...

So, Crash, now that you're done making your air-tight case that CBC should dump the Leafs because everyone hates them, would you like to completely contradict your own argument in the very next paragraph?

Speaking of teams you love to hate: The Dallas Cowboys are back... Love-plus-hate added up to 12.95 million American homes and 18.6 million viewers for the Cowboys-Eagles Monday Night Football tilt. And since MNF is now on ESPN, that, by default, makes it the largest audience ever for a program on a cable network.

Sure, sure, record-breaking numbers... on paper.

The Ottawa Sun: Math is hard

One thing you can always count on from the Ottawa media is their fair and balanced coverage of any Senators transaction. They're a mighty tough group to please, these guys.

From a story posted today on the Meszaros deal, and attributed to "Sun Media" (i.e. some random hack from the Ottawa newsroom):

While the Senators would have preferred to keep Meszaros, the club wasn't going to meet his demands for more than $4 million US per-season. He immediately signed a six-year, $24 million deal with the Bolts.

This will be a big cap savings for the Senators. Kuba, 31, is scheduled to make $3 million before becoming an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season while Picard will make $800,000 the next two seasons.

OK, let me get out my calculator here. So we have $4 million for Mezaros, and we subtract $3 million for Kuba, and $800,000 for Picard...

Holy crap, that is a big cap savings! They saved enough for 40% of a minimum wage player! Bryan Murray is a freaking genius!

Side note: As has been the case throughout their entire modern history, the Senators make a major trade only because of a player's salary demands. Every trade of any significance the club has ever made (Redden/Berard, Yashin/Chara, Hossa/Heatley, etc) has been because somebody had the nerve to ask for more money than the team wanted to pay.

As long as you're willing to take below-market deals, you can be a Senator for life (hello, Chris Phillips!). And that's especially true at the trade deadline, when the Sens are always a contender and always, every single year, fail to land the type of impact player that everyone knows they need because they insist that "we like our room" and "we're not going to mortgage the future". The approach has probably cost the team a couple of Cups already, and lead to a frustrated Murray backstabbing John Muckler out of a job last summer before going on to pull the exact same choke job at this year's deadline.

So here's my proposal: Some Senator fan needs to convince Bryan Murray that Nick Foligno, Brian Lee, or whoever their scouts are looking at with their 2009 1st rounders, is asking for too much money. Just plant the seed, and hope it finally pays off next February.