Puck Soup: Preseason warmup

On this week's episode of the Puck Soup podcast:
- Who's hurt?
- Who's still left unsigned?
- Who's on the trade block?
- No really, please tell me, I haven't been paying attention
- Also the cap goes up, there's about to be a new mascot, Survivor and more...

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Rating the East's weirdest offseason headlines with the Bizarro-meter

Yesterday, we dusted off the offseason bizarro-meter and gave it a good workout going through the Wester Conference. We looked at some big swings in Calgary, an international drama involving Minnesota, a deposed captain in Winnipeg, and lots more. It got weird, which is kind of the entire point.

Today, it’s the East. As always, we’re ranking each team by how bizarre their offseason was, with the important caveat that “bizarre” does not necessarily mean “bad”. We want the teams that surprised us, whether that was with something positive, negative or somewhere in between.

We’ll go by divisions, starting in the Metro and working our way from the least to most bizarre.

Metro Division

New York Rangers

The offseason so far: It was mostly a status quo offseason after last year’s far more newsworthy summer. They did trade Alexandar Georgiev to Colorado and Nils Lundkvist to Dallas, re-signed Kaapo Kakko on a tidy bridge deal, lost Ryan Strome and Andrew Copp to free agency, and named Jacob Trouba captain.

But their strangest story was: They bet big on Vincent Trocheck, no doubt hoping he can duplicate the production he had for whatever team it was he played for last year.

Bizarro-meter ranking: 3.8/10. They made some moves, but in terms of weirdness there’s not all that much to see here.

Washington Capitals

The offseason so far: They added forward depth in Dylan Strome and Connor Brown, but will start the season without Tom Wilson and Nicklas Backstrom.

But their strangest story was: Finally addressing the goaltending by trading Vitek Vanecek and signing Darcy Kuemper to a big-money deal.

Bizarro-meter ranking: 4.5/10. It’s not often you can find the most recent Cup-winning goalie on the UFA market, and the Capitals snapped him up.

Carolina Hurricanes

The offseason so far: They signed Paul Stastny and extended Martin Necas, along with a handful of smaller moves. Also, they gave Don Waddell a new contract before he started interviewing with other teams, which was a nice change.

But their strangest story was: Acquiring Brent Burns and Max Pacioretty in exchange for (checks notes) essentially nothing. Huh, apparently managing the salary cap has benefits.

Bizarro-meter ranking: 5.9/10. It’s not that getting multiple free all-stars wasn’t impressive, but after recent offseasons the Hurricanes are like the gifted kid who gets an A- on the exam. I’m not disappointed, but I know they’re capable of so much more.

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Rating the West’s weirdest offseason headlines with the Bizarro-meter

Training camp week has arrived, meaning the offseason is officially over. Let’s get weird.

Or not all that weird, depending on the team. It’s time to dust off the Bizarro-meter, the annual feature in which we rate every NHL team based on just how strange their offseason was.

Let’s be clear: Bizarre does not mean bad, and this isn’t a ranking of who did or didn’t improve over the summer. For bizarro-meter purposes, it’s very possible for a team to think outside the box and surprise us with a brilliant but unexpected move. It’s also far more common to see teams make the same cliched and uninspired mistakes that don’t seem odd at all.

If you want to know how well your team did in the offseason, look elsewhere, because I’m dumb and have no idea focused on my area of expertise. As always, we’ll do this by division, going from the least to the most bizarre in each. Today is the Western Conference, while tomorrow will see us head east.

Central Division

Arizona Coyotes

The offseason so far: They continued to offer cap space reprieves via trade, and traded up to get Conor Geekie at the trade. There was the usual arena drama too, but as strange as that is, we knew it was happening before the offseason started.

But their strangest story was: Passing on Shane Wright, although they were hardly the only ones.

Bizarro-meter ranking: 3.0/10. Pretty standard stuff for the Coyotes. Honestly, I’m giving most of these points for their new home being called Mullet Arena and that one day where they made everyone wear matching suits.

St. Louis Blues

The offseason so far: They sent Ville Husso to Detroit, then watched David Perron join him as a free agent. The re-upped with Robert Thomas and Jordan Kyrou on similar deals. Maybe the biggest news was what didn’t happen, as they couldn’t land hometown hero Matthew Tkachuk.

But their strangest story was: A Vladimir Tarasenko trade has seemed inevitable for going on two years now. It still does, because once again it didn’t happen.

Bizarro-meter ranking: 4.1/10. The Blues are a good team, so a quiet offseason isn’t all that weird. But at least a few of their fans are scratching their heads.

Nashville Predators

The offseason so far: They landed Ryan McDonagh from Tampa in what was basically a salary dump. And they landed the 2023 NHL draft and awards show, which I’m guessing will be just a little bit fun.

But their strangest story was: Letting all sorts of Filip Forsberg drama build up, then giving him the exact same eight-year deal everyone had predicted for him since last year.

Bizarro-meter ranking: 4.2/10. Also, I didn’t know they signed Kevin Lankinen until right now. It’s fun to learn new things.

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