Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A brief history of Dominik Hasek

Not saying he was unorthodox, but this photo
was taken during the national anthem.

One of the most colorful careers in hockey history came to an end last week when 47-year-old goaltending legend Dominik Hasek finally hung up his pads for good. Hasek had expressed interest in an NHL comeback during the offseason, but the lockout and a lack of interest spelled the end of his hopes for playing one final year.

Hasek will no doubt be a first-ballot hall of famer, and he's earned a place in the discussion for the greatest goaltender of his generation. Here's a look back at one of the sport's most memorable legends.

April 14, 1984 - Disappointed by the fading prominence of the local Czechoslovakian breakdancing scene, a teenaged Hasek asks his guidance counselor if there are any other careers where he can spend all his time randomly spinning around on his back for no reason.

August 7, 1992 – The Blackhawks trade Hasek to the Sabres for Stephane Beauregard, reasoning that they couldn't turn down the chance to acquire a player so good that he was once actually traded for future Hall-of-Famer Dominik Hasek.

February 11, 1995 – In yet another example of the sort of unbelievable rumors that can plague professional athletes, Hasek hears a crazy story that somebody somewhere may have come up with a new goalie mask design since 1983.

June 25, 1997 - Hasek's disparaging comments about the future of Sabres' coach Ted Nolan shock the hockey world, in the sense that it marks the only known instance of anyone understanding a word he's ever said.

February 20, 1998 - Hasek stones Team Canada during a shootout at the Nagano Olympics, in what every Canadian agrees was the worst moment of their life to happen at 3:00 a.m. that they're willing to admit to.

June 19, 1999 - The hockey world learns that "Goalies never win the Hart Trophy" and "Playing a traditional style is the only way to succeed" are apparently not the only longstanding rules that don't apply when Hasek is in the crease.

July 1, 2001 - After being traded to the Red Wings, Hasek thanks Detroit management for making the deal and expresses his excitement at contending for a Stanley Cup championship and asks why Jimmy Devellano is making him wear this cowbell.

June 25, 2002 - A tearful Hasek announces his retirement from the NHL, explaining that after careful consideration he's decided to spend more time with his family plotting ways to totally screw over Curtis Joseph in a year.

February 15, 2006 - Ottawa Senator fans set a world record for the most people in one city to simultaneously have open browser tabs for the WebMD "adductor muscle" page and a Google search for "24-hour alcohol delivery".

June 9, 2008 – A 43-year-old Hasek announces his retirement from the Red Wings because, he will later explain, he's tired of Old Man Chelios always hassling him.

April 29, 2009 – Upon hearing that Hasek has signed a contract to resume his career in the Czech league, Peter Forsberg takes him aside to tell him the constant retirements and comebacks are maybe getting to be a little much.

May 25, 2012 - Hasek continues to defy the odds when he announces his intention to return to the NHL for a team that would be desperate enough to hand the starter's job to a retired 47-year-old while resisting the urge to immediately add "So, Brian Burke, I'm looking in your direction".

October 9, 2012 – Hasek announces that the ongoing lockout has forced him to give up hope that he will ever find himself returning to an NHL arena, causing every hockey fan to sadly mutter "You and me both".


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25 comments:

  1. LOl Forsburg, thanks for making my morning .

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  2. Dominik Hasek is my favorite player, and always has been. I grew up a Red Wings fan, but was always fascinated by the unorthodox goalie out in Buffalo. I was ecstatic when the Wings acquired him. He's the reason I played goal as a kid (even if I did play a traditional, less flail-y style). So I'm saddened to hear he's retiring (again). I was rather hoping he'd catch on as the Wing's back, play in 20 games, win about half of them, a collect one more Stanley Cup ring for the road. But alas, I guess it wasn't to be. Thanks for the retrospective.

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    1. Everything you said. I was hoping to wear my autographed Hasek jersey to one more game in Detroit, but it's not going to happen. Thanks, Dominator--and by the way, great column!

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    2. I too was influenced by Hasek's unorthodox style of flailing all over the ice when I played. Too bad I was a forward.

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    3. I feel there was a missed opportunity for a Kesler joke there.

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  3. The photo caption alone made me laugh out loud.

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  4. This blog needs more cowbell jokes!

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    Replies
    1. That's a good one !

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    2. Report to New York for a hearing on how much you will be fined.

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  5. The funniest thing was that in an article about Hasek it is still Chelios who is hit with the old joke.

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  6. It would have been better if you'd started with an earlier year . . . by April 14, 1984, Dominik HaĊĦek had already played for the Czechoslovakian national team and was on their roster in Sarajevo.

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    Replies
    1. Yes but there was no breakdancing in like 1981 so WHO LOOKS STUPID NOW?

      (I have no idea if there was breakdancing in 1981.)

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    2. Gary Bettman?

      Although the "NOW" is superfluous.

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  7. "Old Man Chelios" had me pissing my pants!

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    Replies
    1. Pissing in your pants . . . just like Old Man Chelios does!

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  8. loved the 3 am comment. it was a beaut.

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  9. June 9, 2008 – A 43-year-old Hasek announces his retirement from the Red Wings because, he will later explain, he's tired of Old Man Chelios always hassling him.

    One of the greatest DGB lines ever. I was laughing hysterically.

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  10. January 1990 - An incensed Hasek notifies several animal activist groups that rock group Faith No More should be investigated for using an actual fish to flop around during the outro of their new MTV video "Epic", instead of him.

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  11. Anybody know why PPP is so hard to read now?

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  12. You're missing another keystone of hasek's life. The time he got benched and got drunk at punched Jim Kelley. Not that Jim Kelley, although that would've been nice too.

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