Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Potential issues in the next NHL CBA

After several awkward minutes, Fehr realized that
"high five me if you love escrow" was a bad idea.
So it turns out that the NBA won't be challenging the NHL's status as the only league to lose a full season to work stoppage after all. Despite dire predictions that the year would be lost, the NBA and its players managed to reach an agreement that will save most of the season.

That comes on the heels of recent agreements that saw both the NFL and MLB sign new deals without missing any games. So with three of North America's big four sports leagues having found labour peace, all eyes now shift back to the NHL. With the league's current collective bargaining agreement set to expire before next season, hockey fans are hoping that negotiations go more smoothly than they did the last time around.

So what will be the major issues in the next NHL CBA? That depends on who you talk to. As it turns out, everyone seems to have a different opinion on which issues should be top priorities. Here's a look at what various stakeholders around the NHL say they'd like to see changed in the league's next CBA:

Brendan Shanahan - Would like to increase the maximum player fine from the current $2,500; failing that, would at least like the players to stop paying it by grabbing a fistful of spare change, throwing it at me from their car window, then laughing and speeding off.

Alexander Ovechkin - I've repeatedly argued that the NHL give Russian players the chance to compete in the 2014 Olympics in Sochi, although to be honest you should probably also check with some of the guys who will make the team.

Kyle Turris - Pass a rule banning pointless holdouts where the player misses two months and doesn't get anything he was asking for, or at least have someone tell my agent that you did.

Scott Gomez - Realize that buyouts of guaranteed contracts will be up for discussion in the next CBA, but would still prefer if Jacques Martin and Pierre Gauthier didn't dramatically pack a suitcase for me during every intermission "just in case".

ESPN - Wait, did you say the 2004-2005 lockout ended? I guess we probably should have been showing some highlights or something over the last seven years.

Pittsburgh Penguins - Losing another season would be an absolute last resort, but if it comes to that let's make just sure that our old pal Gary gets to run the draft lottery again, wink wink. Wait, don't write that last part down.

Cory Schneider - So a work stoppage is when you just sit around every night and don't ever get to play any actual hockey? Hmm, I guess I should go ask Roberto what that's like.

Donald Fehr - Nothing helps set the stage for a long day of negotiating like an extra-large coffee first thing in the morning, but it's still kind of awkward to pull up to that drive-through window on days that Paul Kelly is working.

Phoenix Coyotes - Don't really care what's in next season's CBA, but are going to need to make sure it's translated into French. Uh, no reason.

Buffalo Sabres - Since we're renegotiating things, any chance we could update "the code" so that your goalie getting run over doesn't somehow make you obligated to let all the Boston Bruins punch you in the face repeatedly the next time you play?

Jay Feaster - We definitely need some sort of new rule where you're allowed to trade old, overpaid players for younger, cheaper ones. Wait, what? Oh man, since when?

Gary Bettman - Already know that Donald Fehr has a history of tough negotiating on behalf of his players without much regard for the impact on the league and its teams, so there's really no need for him to rub it in by wearing a Montreal Expos cap to every bargaining session.




17 comments:

  1. "Jay Feaster - We definitely need some sort of new rule where you're allowed to trade old, overpaid players for younger, cheaper ones. Wait, what? Oh man, since when?"

    Wait, is that about Komisarek?

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  2. Oh Buffalo, poor poor buffalo... It's like David vs Goliath, his brother Moliath, and their corporate sponsor Colin Cola.

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  3. when we.. signed him?

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  4. When did we trade for Komisarek? I must have missed it.

    Enjoying Matt Stajan still?

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  5. The line about ESPN is so true it still makes me angry. ESPN actually DID cover hockey for a short while recently while the NBA was locked out, but that abruptly ended when the new NBA CBA deal was announced. ESPN would rather talk about training camp and free agency in the NBA than regular season hockey in the NHL.

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  6. C'mon man, you're already out of Luongo jokes. You don't need to feature one every two or three posts.

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  7. Ovechkin line was golden. Nice job as always sir

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  8. Gary Bettman - Already know that Donald Fehr has a history of tough negotiating on behalf of his players without much regard for the impact on the league and its teams, so there's really no need for him to rub it in by wearing a Montreal Expos cap to every bargaining session. ~ magnifique! oh and the phoenix one too..

    ~ cheers..

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  9. Agree, the Ovechkin joke was really funny. Didn't quite get the Jay Feaster one though?

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  10. Actually, it would appear that there is in fact NO shortage of luongo jokes if he can put one in every second or third post. However, to make it interesting, how about he only makes one luongo joke for every save luongo makes, that should cut down on the whole thing. Right?

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  11. can someone explain the ovie joke to me? i'm sorry, i got all of the jokes except for this

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  12. Because Jay Feaster keeps trading for old players who stink, while giving up young players who don't.

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  13. It's okay - we Canucks fans are graceful enough to notice that Schneider HASN'T been bench warming and Lu's funniest hater didn't notice. :)

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  14. Sorry but, Luongo jokes never get old.

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  15. Luongo jokes are like fine wine. They taste better and better the more you consecutively have them.

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  16. Great job,DGB! ESPN really doesn't care if there is an NHL lockout. They would rather show 1000 replays of the same NFL games from last week and overanalyze every single football player! :)

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  17. "Anonymous said...

    Because Jay Feaster keeps trading for old players who stink, while giving up young players who don't."

    The following are the trades Jay Feaster has made as the Flames' GM so far:

    2/28/2011: Traded a seventh-round pick to ATL for Fredrik Modin (36)

    6/1/2011: Traded Tim Erixon (20) and a fifth-round pick to NYR for Roman Horak (20) and two second-round picks.

    6/25/2011: Traded Robyn Regehr (31), Ales Kotalik (32) and a second-round pick to BUF for Chris Butler (24) and Paul Byron (21).

    7/9/2011: Traded Keith Seabrook (22) to FLA for Jordan Henry (25).

    7/14/2011: Traded a fifth-round pick to NJ for Pierre-Luc Letourneau-Leblond (26).

    8/29/2011: Traded Daymond Langkow (34) to PHX for Lee Stempniak (28).

    Regardless of what you think of the deals, I can't see any instances where Feaster traded any young players for old players.

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