Saturday, November 26, 2011

Alexander Ovechkin vs. Sidney Crosby: An in-depth comparison

The NHL's two most marketable stars are back in the news this week. But while Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin are both making headlines again, it's for very different reasons.

In Crosby's case, the news is good. He's finally returned after missing almost 11 months with a concussion, and his four-point performance in his first game back already has fans wondering if he can win the scoring title despite missing a quarter of the season.

Ovechkin is at the other end of the spectrum. With his numbers declining and rumours of tension in the dressing room of the suddenly mediocre Capitals, some are starting to wonder if the 26-year-old has already peaked as an elite NHL talent.

Crosby and Ovechkin have been linked ever since they both made their debuts during the 2005-06 season, and it appears they will be for years to come. Here's a comparison of two of the league's most talented and popular young players.

Alexander Ovechkin: Has been known to get angry with his coach while on the bench and shout obscenities.
Sidney Crosby: Has been known to get angry with his coach while on the bench and shout "I'm just going to go out there and give 110%", since that's all he's programmed to ever say.

Sidney Crosby: Wears jersey number 87, signifying his year of birth.
Alexander Ovechkin: Wears jersey number 8, signifying the number of goals he needs to score in any given game before he won't automatically be blamed if the Capitals lose.

Alexander Ovechkin: Has been invited to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at games for the Washington Nationals and Baltimore Orioles.
Sidney Crosby: Would probably be thrilled to do the same if Pittsburgh ever managed to get a professional baseball team.

Sidney Crosby: Has had the opportunity to hone his acting ability in commercials for brands like Reebok and Tim Hortons.
Alexander Ovechkin: Has had the opportunity to hone his acting ability every time Bruce Boudreau starts yelling about maybe backchecking once in a while and he has to pretend that he's listening.

Alexander Ovechkin: Has occasionally found himself in trouble with the league due to questionable hits against defenceless opponents.
Sidney Crosby: Would never check a defenceless opponent in a dangerous manner because he is classy and respects the game and Matt Cooke usually gets there first.

Sidney Crosby: May one day come to be viewed as a cautionary example who taught a generation of fans a valuable lesson about the dangers of head injuries.
Alexander Ovechkin: May one day come to be viewed as a cautionary example who taught a generation of fans a valuable lesson about the dangers of thinking it's a good idea for guys to get lower back tattoos.

Alexander Ovechkin: Is so good at anticipating the flow of the game that he can often react to an incoming pass attempt before the puck has even left his teammate's stick.
Sidney Crosby: Is so good at anticipating the flow of the game that he can often react to an opposing player's attempted body check by falling down before he's even touched.

Sidney Crosby: Has had one 50-goal season so far, and given his injury concerns experts admit they have no idea how many more he may have over the course of his career.
Alexander Ovechkin: Rather than cause all sorts of confusion, was apparently considerate enough to get all of his 50-goal seasons out the way early.

Alexander Ovechkin: Owns the hockey world's record for the most Twitter followers, with 250,000.
Sidney Crosby: Owns the hockey world's record for the most MySpace friends, with nine.

Sidney Crosby: Diehard Pittsburgh fans will eagerly tell you that he's following in the footsteps of legendary Penguins from past generations, like Mario Lemieux, Ron Francis and Paul Coffey.
Alexander Ovechkin: Diehard Washington fans will eagerly tell you that he's following in the footsteps of legendary Capitals from past generations, before trailing off, furrowing their brow, and eventually changing the subject.

Alexander Ovechkin: Despite his flashy on-ice personality, is known to dress casually off the ice and rarely calls attention to himself with gaudy accessories.
Sidney Crosby: In contrast to the classy Ovechkin, has been known to walk out of the arena wearing a giant diamond-studded ring or a gold medallion around his neck.




20 comments:

  1. Awesome. A strong week, DGB - this and Gretzky were both uproarious.

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  2. Well done but I miss the caption joke...

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  3. One of you best yet...impartial, unbiased and HILARIOUS!

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  4. Great stuff, except for the dated Cooke reference

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  5. Definitely a 5 star effort! I especially love the Matt Cooke joke and Ovechkin pretending to listen to Boudreau. :)

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  6. Shouldn't the diving joke have been made about Ovechkin?

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  7. The picture is just crying out for a "I wish I knew how to quit you..." caption.

    Otherwise, top drawer stuff!

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  8. The Cooke line was awesome.

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  9. Making fun of Crosby AND Caps "fans", this made my day.

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  10. I´m pending between semi-loud snickering and that one where you roll around on the floor apparently having a good time judging by the facial movements and sound at the same time keeping your gluteus m. in place with your hands.

    All in all; a very good week, Sean!

    Kudos!

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  11. the pittsburgh pirates are the san diego padres of major league baseball.. wait, what?

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  12. possible photo caption...

    crosby: you had me at hello.
    ovenchicken: i didnt say hello.

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  13. "Is so good at anticipating the flow of the game that he can often react to an opposing player's attempted body check by falling down before he's even touched."

    The best!

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  14. Good stuff, but one spelling error. I'm pretty sure Jaromir starts with a 'J', not a 'P'.

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  15. Very funny,

    ...all except that "back-checking one. I'm not sure I get it.

    Please explain.

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  16. @ rick nash... have ilya kovalchuk explain it to you..


    wait, what?

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