Friday, June 10, 2011

Why hockey fans should learn to love the Bruins and Canucks

Well, nobody's biting, diving or
unconscious, so I guess that's a start.
It seems like nobody likes the Canucks and Bruins these days. Vancouver defenceman Aaron Rome's devastating late hit on Boston's Nathan Horton was only the latest in a long string of controversies featuring the two teams. From questionable hits to taunting to diving to biting, both teams have spent the post-season racking up negative headlines.

The result has been a growing backlash from hockey fans, many of whom are now openly rooting against both teams. Based on their on-ice behaviour, the thinking goes, neither team deserves to have their names engraved on the Cup.

Nonsense. While it's true that both teams have had a few regrettable but isolated incidents, that's no reason to turn against them. Today's fans are so cynical that they've lost sight of all the good things about these two teams.

So before you jump on the negativity bandwagon, please take a moment to consider the many positives we've seen from these teams during the first four games of the series.

Canucks - Roberto Luongo knows that playing in the Stanley Cup finals is the dream of every young hockey player from the very first moment they lace up the skates, and so he was nice enough to make sure every member of the Bruins got to score a few goals at home.

Bruins - Admit it, it would be cool to see Bruins' captain Zdeno Chara receive the Cup from Gary Bettman, thrust it triumphantly over his head, and accidentally smash a giant hole through the roof of the arena.

Canucks - You may not like him as a player, but when it comes to finger-biting jokes Maxim Lapierre is basically the Bill Hicks to Milan Lucic's Denis Leary.

Bruins - Tomas Kaberle has been nothing but a class act for this entire career, so you have to give the Bruins some credit for that in unless we're only counting players who are having an actual impact on the postseason.

Canucks - After losing his composure leading to fights against Viktor Stalberg and Patrick Marleau, defenceman Kevin Bieksa has admirably regained his discipline against opponents like Chara and Lucic.

Bruins - Unlike certain other teams we could mention, they actually have the decency to mumble "oops" after deliberately targeting a defenceless opponent's head.

Canucks - Everyone's calling Aaron Rome a hypocrite for saying he was sorry for the Horton hit and then appealing his suspension, but has it every occurred to anyone that maybe he's appealing to have it increased?

Bruins - Rooting against the Bruins makes Cam Neely angry and you really don't want to do that, according to the trembling voice of that guy over there who looks vaguely like Ulf Samuelsson wearing a dark glasses and a fake moustache.

Canucks - The Sedin brothers only seem like they're diving ten times more often than any other player because they're twins; on an individual basis, they're actually only diving five times as often.

Bruins - Gregory Campbell has done an admirable job of focusing on the series despite the distraction of all that paperwork that goes with applying to be legally adopted by Brendan Shanahan.

Canucks - Vancouver fans spent most of game four screaming things like "Ballard is single-handedly ruining our chance of ever winning the Stanley Cup," which probably made any older Leaf fans nearby feel at home.

Bruins - Goaltender Tim Thomas is sending an important inspirational message to the world that people can excel at their job despite clearly being completely insane.

Canucks - Ryan Kesler punching Chara in the face at the end of game four displayed not just courage but also impressive accuracy, since he had to aim around a referee, two linesmen, four teammates and six off-duty Roxy bouncers.

Bruins - Unlike the Canucks, Boston sports fans don't feel the need to call attention to themselves by wearing obnoxious and annoying costumes to every sporting event they attend, unless you count Patriots jerseys.


  1. As a Bruins fan, I found this hilarious. Keep up the good work. Go Bruins!

  2. Goober--my thoughts too, till I got to the Campbell and Ballard jokes.

  3. I liked the Kevin Bieksa joke.

  4. Mr. Clark needs to come by and punch you in the face for using Bill "The GREAT ONE" Hicks and Denis "The Hack" Leary in the same sentence. Shame on you! Because we all know that there are no funny people from Boston, just funny looking people.(If you can call them people!?!)Though that line you used was golden. Tip of the hat with a finger in the nose.
    And is the Cambpell/Shanahan adoption happening in the U.S. or Canada?

  5. Me don´t like Ulfie being ridiculed so;

  6. The Sedin twins dive on other men's asses so much they remind me of the "The Ambiguously Gay Duo "...

  7. This was definitely the best of the playoff posts so far.. great work!

    Gold Jerry!

  8. Love the Campbell-Shanahan adoption line. Beautiful.

  9. thank you for the Hicks v. Leary joke.