Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Where will Brad Richards sign?

Free agency is just days away, and there's little question about who the big name is. Brad Richards of the Dallas Stars is easily the best player available, and is expected to receive substantial offers from several big market teams. Where will he end up signing? It's all a mystery.

Or maybe not. Fans that have paid attention to recent free agent patterns may already have a sense of how all this will turn out.

In fact, Bloge Salming and I can picture it now...


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You can find more Bloge Salming videos at Houses of the Hockey and at blogesalming.com.

You can download an mp3 of this song here.

"Ranger State of Mind" - the lyrics.


[Sather]
Yeah I'm outta Edmonton.
Now I'm down in Manhattan.
Trying to buy a winner
But so far I'm getting flattened.

Been a bust in New York
So far I've won zero
But I won Cups with the Oilers
Back when you were a ten year old

I used to shop for big names
Then the league put a salary cap into the new CBA
But I keep spending away

Probably overpay you
But I wouldn't worry
Can't be any worse
Than the deal I gave Chris Drury

Signed him and Scott Gomez
Majorly mistaken
Luckily I found a team
Dumb enough to take him

Don't listen to my scouts
Not sure what I'm getting
How else could you explain
39 million for Wade Redden

Now he's out in Hartford
Ex-home of the Whalers
But I kept handing out the cash
Like a drunken sailor

Now I hear you're UFA
Looking for a payday
Can tell by your attitude that you're most definitely headed for...

[Torterella]
New York
Our GM will sure overpay you,
But the coach may not play you,
Now you're in New York
Veterans don't even need a tryout
But you might get a buyout
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York

[Sather]
Catch me out at MSG
Watching all the practice drills,
Lighting my cigars
With a wad of hundred dollars bills

Thirty seven point five
Gave it all to Gaborik
Twenty-two goals last year
Plus he makes the coaches sick

Been doing this for years now
Holik and Kaspiritis
Millions on Brashear
Just so he couldn't fight us

Eight figures, muti-year, one way, with a no-trade,
The superstars get here and then they forget how to play,

Seven million cap hit
Pay you till your thirty nine
Finding that your grinding out your minutes
On the fourth line

Surround you with defencemen
Turnovers and giveaways
If Burkie's paying Dion
I'm paying Bryan McCabe,

Put it all on Henrik
Our fans know he can stop pucks
Our fans know we'll need good luck
And our fans still know that Potvin Sucks

Long live Messier,
long live Adam Graves,
Long live 54 years between our Cup parades in…

[Torterella]
New York
Lots of time for hanging out downtown
Once we're out in the first round
When you're in New York
The media will make you shout "May Day!"
But you'll get your payday
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York




25 comments:

  1. Hilarious! It's funny because it's exactly what's going to happen when a deal is signed at 12:01 pm on Friday.

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  2. Awesome work Guys! This rocks.

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  3. As a Rangersfan, I can appreciate this. Great job, as always.

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  4. It's funny because its true, God I hate my team.

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  5. Ranger's fan here. Mike, you're still an idiot.

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  6. absolutely epic...love my rangers to death but thta was hilarious

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  7. Ranger fan. Perfection here.

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  8. Fan-effing-tastic.

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  9. Leaf fans are so butthurt, rofl.

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  10. As a lifetime rangers ran, I both heavily enjoyed that, AND felt the sting, as each player's name was mentioned. I got a little light headed and had to sit down when i heard Wade Redden's name mentioned. That one still gets to me. Sigh... Sather's going to give Richards WAY to much money,and there's nothing we can do about it.

    ...and buyout when? 2014?

    sheesh. there's no emoticon for a preemptive face palm is there?

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  11. As a Rangers fan, I couldn't agree more with Kyle

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  12. so funny, as usual:-) Love your stuff.

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  13. And when's the last time the Maple Losers won anything or even made the playoffs for that matter?

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  14. @ messiah hehehe I see what you did there...

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  15. Lots of butthurt Rangers fans in these comments.

    lol

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  16. It has been 24 hours since my first viewing, and I still can not get the verse
    'Lots of time for hanging out downtown
    Once we're out in the first round...' out of my head.
    LOVE IT!

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  17. Nice of him to work in a jab at the Habs too, haha. God though, this is the one day of the year I hate having Slats as our GM. He can straight-up rape when it comes to trades (see: the referenced Gomez deal, the Tim Erixon deal, etc.) but the dude just spends like a drunken sailor on July 1st. Oh well. I still like a lot of what the Rangers are building right now, and I might be OK with the inevitable Brad signing. We'll see.

    Video was awesome, of course.

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  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  19. Hilarious! And so prophetic, it turns out.

    Memo to New York Rangers:

    Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it!

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  20. Do you two happen to have this weeks lotto #'s for any province,country,or state in North America? You are on a roll this year in foretelling B.S.in the hockey world. 9 years 60 million w/ the Rangers!?!

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  21. Rangers fan here. A truly excellent masterpiece. And this is coming from someone who hates hip-hop (especially any song that aggrandizes "niggas" and "gangs).

    My only gripe is that you did not work something clever in about Avery, but you covered all the other big guys.

    10/10!

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