Friday, June 24, 2011

2011 NHL Draft Preview

Drafted second overall? Ha, enjoy
years of finishing in last place, kid.
It's NHL draft weekend, with the first round taking place tonight from the Xcel Energy Center in Minnesota. And while the consensus is that there aren't any surefire superstars in this year's crop of prospects, most experts seem to agree that it's a deep pool of good young players.

In recent months the prospects have been scouted, interviewed, analyzed and subjected to the rigors of the combine. There's been no shortage of opportunity for teams to do their homework, and at this point the teams know these guys about as well as they ever could.

But what about the fans? As we prepare to settle in and watch the intrigue unfold, let's take one last look at some of the prospects who can expect to hear their names called tonight.

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins - Hockey fans should make an effort to get to know this exciting offensive force from the Red Deer Rebels before the draft, since he's probably going to be picked by the Edmonton Oilers and then never heard from again.

Adam Larsson - The Swedish blueliner has been repeatedly compared to Victor Hedman. So watch your back, anyone in this year's draft who has been repeatedly compared to Sidney Crosby.

Johnathan Huberdeau - Raised some eyebrows during the interview portion of the combine when, on the advice of his agents, he spent his entire interview with New York Islanders management nervously denying that he had ever played hockey before.

Gabriel Landeskog - Achieved the top possible score in the infamous Wingate endurance test when, after 30 second of furious pedaling, the bicycle vomited and passed out.

Sean Couturier - Most mock drafts have him going to the Ottawa Senators, which would give him a chance to develop under the watchful eye of respected coach Paul MacLean up until the team has its first three-game losing streak.

Dougie Hamilton - Is widely considered to have the second most Canadian name in this year's draft, behind only Gordie MacRolluptherim.

Ryan Murphy - Like many of his fellow prospects, has recently been spending up to six hours a day practicing how to fold the rim of a ball cap just right so that it doesn't look awkward when you first put it on.

Ryan Strome - Scouts agree that he needs to add size and strength, unlike all those other 18-year-olds who are already fully grown.

John Gibson - First-round goalies are notoriously unpredictable, ranging from wildly over-paid superstars to borderline AHL washouts. So either way, good luck to Gibson in his future endeavours with the Philadelphia Flyers.

Mika Zibanejad - Like many recent top prospects from the faltering Swedish development system, has been frequently criticized for not having a twin.

Jonas Brodin - When this defensive defenceman is picked, feel free to lean over to that cute girl in the bar and whisper "Not to brag, but I ended up tied with him in goal scoring last season."

Duncan Siemens - Is considered such a sure thing to develop into a dependable NHL defenceman that he's already received a ridiculously overinflated free agent offer from the Toronto Maple Leafs post-dated to 2021.

Tyler Biggs - This power forward plummeted in the Central Scouting rankings in the second half of the season, after suggesting to them that maybe they could just combine their North American and International rankings into one list like everyone else in the world does.

Joseph Morrow - Had one of the best scores at the combine during the standing vertical jump event, which will no doubt move him up the draft board of all those teams that keep losing games because they can't jump high enough.

Jonas Valanciunas - The towering Lithuanian is the consensus top-ranked center in the draft, according to that one ESPN analyst who nobody recognizes and who come to think of it might actually be at the wrong draft.




13 comments:

  1. ok I had to look up who that last guy was, only to realize once I did he was drafted last night......and then I got the joke....oops. :) Classic really enjoyed this one.

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  2. I laughed hardest at the "teams keep losing games because they can't jump high enough" part :D

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  3. Sean - you´ve been on a so called roll the last couple of months!
    Very funny as was the last 3-4 DGB-pieces!
    The "twin" and "Larson vs Crosby2.0"-jokes we liked much.
    Hooray for u !

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  4. "Gordie MacRolluptherim" -- I just spit my double double all aver my chesterfield.

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  5. As a Sens fan, the dig at the Sens cracked me up.

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  6. As usual the pic and caption got the laughs rolling! Well done!

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  7. Huberdeau joke cracked me up as did the Larsson. Funny stuff as usual.

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  8. LebdahasmorecupsthanOvechkinJune 24, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    Once again, the caption was one of the best parts of the article.. Gold!

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  9. Morrow figures to be taken by the Canucks, right?

    I mean, everyone knows that a great vertical leap is an important part of a good dive.

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  10. k, i googled Jonas Valanciunas.. i still dont get it.. the only thing i watch on the worldwide leader is baseball and im pretty sure thats not the joke... :(

    ~ cheers...

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  11. @David, the joke is that Jonas Valanciunas was drafted in the NBA, hence the ESPN analyst joke.

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  12. Hi Downtown, I tried channeling you based upon the Winnipeg hockey wives story.

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