Friday, December 17, 2010

What we learned from the premiere of 24/7 Penguins/Capitals:

The show was named after the cumulative
score in a typical seven game series
Wednesday night marked the debut episode of 24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the NHL Winter Classic, the league's latest and perhaps most ambitious attempt to gain traction with casual sports fans south of the border.

The series, part of HBO's successful franchise of sports-based reality shows, will chronicle the Capitals and Penguins in the weeks leading up to their January 1 outdoor showdown at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh. The producers have been given unprecedented access to both teams, and the result is a stunning look inside the inner workings of two of hockey's most popular organizations.

In this week's hour long debut, fans learned plenty about each team and about the league's behind-the-scenes planning for the Winter Classic. While it's difficult to narrow down all the memorable moments we were treated to, here's a list of some of the most stunning revelations from the show so far.
  • Capitals coach Bruce Boudreau is apparently a big fan of South Atlantic archipelagos, because every second thing out of his mouth is "Falkland this" and "Falkland that".

  • In an attempt to boost ratings in the all-important youth demographic, the role of Chris Kunitz is being played by Robert Pattinson.

  • Every episode of the series will begin with a moment of silence in memory of the victims of the Jaromir Jagr trade.

  • Winter Classic organizers are being constantly harassed by phone calls from Ty Conklin asking which team he's supposed to be playing for.

  • According to a recent survey, a majority of Washington Capital fans believe that their current losing streak is the absolute worst thing that's happened to the franchise since its inaugural season in 2006.

  • While organizing the traditional pre-Classic alumni game, a bitter dispute over which team should get former star defenceman Sergei Gonchar was interrupted when he sheepishly explained that technically, he's actually still playing in the NHL.

  • The league initially wanted to hold the Winter Classic game in Washington, but could find no evidence that FedEx Field is capable of hosting professional sporting events in January.

  • Sidney Crosby travels with an entourage of three people with tasers who's only job is to immediately shock him if he starts to do or say anything interesting.

  • The NHL's top secret contingency plan in case of a rain storm involves just making all the players skate around holding umbrellas.

  • Washington owner Ted Leonsis is convinced that the Capitals' current losing streak is his fault for not blogging hard enough, and has tearfully vowed to blog harder than ever before.

  • Gary Bettman has already met privately with the game's officials to instruct them to call a tight game, avoid any questionable calls, and make sure the game comes down to a shootout between Ovechkin and Crosby if they ever want to see their missing families again.

  • ESPN has committed to devoting more coverage to the Winter Classic than they have for any other NHL game of the post-lockout era, thanks to the presence of an intern in the third deck recording video clips on his iPhone.

  • So yeah, it turns out Mike Green is actually like that in real life.

  • Your expensive new television's warranty doesn't cover damage sustained when you instinctively leap off the couch and roundhouse punch the screen, as you recently found out thanks to an unexpected closeup shot of Matt Cooke.

  • A frustrated Boudreau has had to repeatedly remind his players that yes, they're on a reality show, and yes, the vote may very well have been unanimous, but he still doesn't have to bring anyone his damn torch.




34 comments:

  1. DGB:

    I don't know why others are giving you shitty ratings. I thought this one was one of your better pieces to date. Opened strong with a Boudreau joke, and finishes strong with a Boudreau joke.

    Well done, my good man.

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  2. [Pre-2006] Caps fan here and loved it.

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  3. Who would have thought there was cursing in hockey LOL.

    Boudreau is not one of my favorite coaches but he is just keeping it real!!

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  4. I love it. Thanks for being there, DGB! Go Caps!

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  5. I had that same reaction to Matt Cooke's close-up. Weird. :)

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  6. boudreau is a bad coach.

    he goes into the locker room after the 1st period and starts chewing hhis team out (this is where he drops the f-bomb 15 times) and then at the end of the game wonders why they were down on themselves. um duh????

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  7. Very good, but still not as funny as Cooke's kid spearing someone.

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  8. "According to a recent survey, a majority of Washington Capital fans believe that their current losing streak is the absolute worst thing that's happened to the franchise since its inaugural season in 2006."

    Hahaha. Zing-pow.

    I'm a lifelong Caps fan and that was the hardest I laughed in the entire article.

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  9. Yet another Caps fan here to thank you for a great laugh. Loved the poke at Gonchar, and the bit about FedEx Field!

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  10. You're a homosexual and that's coming from a leafs fan.

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  11. Oooh, the last one is so close to the truth, it hurts - if you're Gabby Boudreau. What's the over/under on "days after the Winter Classic that Boudreau is fired"? 2?

    Or is Bruce this show's "anonymous ensign in the red shirt that Kirk sends to investigate whether there's an alien behind that rock"?

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  12. When will Gregory Campbell be traded to either the Pens or Caps?

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  13. According to a recent survey, a majority of Washington Capital fans believe that their current losing streak is the absolute worst thing that's happened to the franchise since its inaugural season in 2006.

    SO CLUTCH!

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  14. First off, Junior is an idiot and his posting didn't even make sense. Have a buddy proof read it next time, man.

    Secondly, as a pre-2006 Caps fan, the Redskins have had 3 more national championships as the Leafs since 1967 as an FYI.

    However, overall this was absolutely hilarious - ESPECIALLY the parts about Ted blogging "harder than ever before" and Crosby's taser-bearing security detail. Well done!

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  15. If anyone ever needs a pointer to an example of why Strunk and White cautioned against affecting "a breezy manner", I'll point them here. A waste of time for people who were actually looking for information about "what we learned from the premiere of 24/7 Penguins/Capital".

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  16. @mijopo, this clearly was meant as a satire. And DGB is known for humor, so you clearly were missing something.

    And the part about "According to a recent survey, a majority of Washington Capital fans believe that their current losing streak is the absolute worst thing that's happened to the franchise since its inaugural season in 2006" is so true! Which is why I died of laughter reading it =).

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  17. Hey mijopo.
    How's this for a breezy manner? Lighten up!!

    This is humour and it is funny.
    What is even funnier is that you were actually looking for information about "what we learned from the premiere of 24/7 Penguins/Capital".

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  18. "this clearly was meant as a satire. " Yeah, if it were funny, this would be a legit defense.

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  19. Not enough references to Boudreau with sauce all over his face during one interview in HD

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh scary.

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  20. Great post. Read it at work to a fellow Caps fan using my phone and the two of us were just cracking up. The Inaugural season being in 2006, the Mike Green, the FedEx Field and the Boudreu not bringing his torch comments had us laughing. He had never heard of your blow and immediately went to look at it as I was leaving his office.

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  21. @mijopo

    If you don't find this funny, then I feel sorry for you. Because if you don't find this funny, then you life must be devoid of laughter because DGB is pure gold and you can't see that.

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  22. "•In an attempt to boost ratings in the all-important youth demographic, the role of Chris Kunitz is being played by Robert Pattinson"

    I think you meant Tyler Kennedy played by Robert Pattinson

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  23. @CoolJ90, well, not completely devoid of laughter -- for example, I did laugh at your assumption that DGB represents some sort of pinnacle of humorous writing.

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  24. No Mijopo not the pinnacle (Yet), DGB is just climbing the moutain..... As a long time Leaf fan he probably is a better philosipher (bar room) of our times then anyone else you are going to meet. Yep, read your profile.

    On a side note DGB, I think alot of us just want to read a Leaf dedicated article when you snap and loose it on our favorite pack of lovable losers. Bring back the Venom.

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  25. mjopo needs to get a life. what an angry person he seems to be...

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  26. although i guess it not be suprising to see such an attitude coming from someone who lists "computability and logic" as one of their favorite book... NERD

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  27. @mijopo is one of those guys who thinks he is smartest guy in the room, and needs to try to be oh so clever to prove it to everyone...yawn, you're really just a bore.

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  28. Why is mijopo here if he is not enjoying himself? I do not understand.

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  29. mijopo is just bitter because no one comments on his blog.

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  30. Good job, DGB. I loved the part about 2006 being the Capitals' "first" season. ;)

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  31. Hey guy that commented at 2:35 am and then again at 2:38 am, um I'm not sure ur qualified to be tellin people to get a life. Based on the fact that you stay up late commenting on hockey blogs, and stalking other peoples blogs to see what kinda books they read. But that's just my opinion, and the opinion of any other normal person.

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  32. Great job on this. Although, saying that Caps fans think the franchise was founded in 2006 is a but unfair, as you are giving them credit for being fans during a couple of bad seasons - they didn't jump on the bandwagon until March of 2008!!!

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  33. Looks like we have got another mijopo sighting.... trying to bash anonymous posters. LOL. What a dork. Go read your nerd books!

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