People seemed to enjoy yesterday's Team Canada rap, in which the players from the men's hockey team wished a friendly welcome to competitors from other nations. We've even had a positive response from international readers (with the exception of fans in Finland who still want my head on a pike for being mean to Vesa Toskala).
A few of you had requests: for a downloadable file, and for the full lyrics.
First up, the mp3 is now available from Bloge Salming. You know this already if you visit his site frequently. If you don't, you're missing out. Go there now.
Next up, the lyrics: Below is a quasi-official version. MC Bloge may have freestyled a little here and there depending on whether the muse moved him at a particular moment, but they should be pretty close.
Team Canada's Olympic Welcome
Sidney Crosby vs. Russia
First off, [bleep] Ovechkin and his video game
Losing big to the Kid is your claim to fame.
You claim to be a player but I've got your Cup
Had a 2-0 series lead and then we [bleep]ed you up
They say Russia looks scary, we shouldn't blow you off
But It's hard to take you serious with that Morozov
Nabokov as your goalie what a [bleep]ing facade
You had to battle Toskala for your starting job
And I hope that your goalies lower lumbar's tough
Sore back when Markov throws them under the bus
And hey Ilya... Duncan Keith is going to fill ya
Keep your head up Malkin or else Pronger's going to kill ya
Expect diving calls when you see the Kid.
Protect your balls when you see the Kid.
You tried to kill me and I tried to choke ya
now you're about to feel the wrath of Nova Scotia
You're gonna get lit up
Jarome Iginla vs. USA
Get out the way, yo, get out the way, yo
Iggy just hit the ice
Americans love to talk and now it's pissing me off.
So son you better run before the visor comes off.
Can't wait for the day that we play the States
Games end more lopsided than Ryan Miller's face
Your defence is going to stop me? Your higher than Kordic
If you reckon for a second that I'm scared of Brooks Orpik.
Can't believe you think you've got a chance against the best
When your roster looks weaker than Patrick Kane's chest.
You're thinking of a medal but it's just a dream
Brian Burke + Ron Wilson = last place team
Rick Nash vs. Finland
Finnish All Stars I hope you hear all the pundits
Mikko Koivu [entire line bleeped out for reason Bloge and I will explain some day]
We've got Jarome Iginla and he tips us off
On all the ways he scores in practice on Kiprusoff
We're going to beat you down and I don't mean maybe
Cause your first line center looks like an ugly baby
I'll be as strong as Popeye when he's eating his spinach
When the medal round starts you'll all be finished.
Did you get it guys? Finished?
Babcock: Yeah, we got it Rick.
It's like a pun!
Babcock: Great work Rick.
Martin Brodeur vs. Czech Republic
I'm from N-E-W Jerz where lots of trapping occurs
Going to put the Czechs in a world of hurt
Elias might be my teammate when the season's on
But in Vancouver when we play you [bleep] it's [bleep]ing on.
Kaberle will get sunk. We'll take out Jagr the punk
And then we'll give Marty Havlat a big kick in the junk
If you left the country you'd be far better off
We'll be bouncing Czechs worse than Sergei Federov
Win with the trap and the offensive zone cycle
Bad sign when your taxi squad has Robert Reichel
Need a team effort for a legitimate chance to win
It helps that they found Kuba under Spacek's chins
Scott Niedermayer vs. Sweden
People want to talk about the two Sedins
Little jokers, go play poker with Mats Sundin
Daniel Alfredsson is known for his leadership and class
But shoot a puck at me again and I'mma bust your ass
So you won Gold in '06, duly noted again
Gustavsson's heart just exploded again
Vancouver hates Ohlund, the boos they're given him
Modin is [bleep], even the Leafs got rid of him
You might have a shot if you can just stay loose
But better pray that you don't play against Belarus.
Is Murray even Swedish? How bout Johnny Oduya?
So many holes in Lundqvist with all the pucks we get through you.
Mike Green vs. Slovakia
Crosby: Aw, yeah, and don't think we forgot about you Slovakia. Tell 'em what we got in store for them, Mike Green! Mike? Mike?
Green: Um... yeah, I didn't make the team.
Crosby: Wait, seriously?
Crosby: You're like first overall in scoring.
Green: I am aware of that.
Crosby: Holy [bleep], we are stacked!
Nash: "Finished" also means done!
Babcock: That's great Rick...
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