Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Burke staying in Anaheim

I'm a Leafs fan and a Leafs fan only until the day I die (which will be this summer, by the way, of self-inflicted head wounds when we don't get Brian Burke).
- Me, from a post two weeks ago

Well, full credit to the hockey gods. They ball-kicked us much earlier than expected on this one.

Burke is apparently not going anywhere, according to TSN.

Is Oprah right?
Are you a big fat woman?

I remember the episode of Married With Children where Al is looking for an obscure record of a song he can hum but not name. At the end of the episode he finds a store that specializes in exactly what he wants, but they tell him they can't help him. He reacts by looking skyward, smiling knowingly, and asking "Not even this, huh?"

That's how I feel. Not surprised. Not even disappointed, somehow. Just vaguely annoyed at myself for getting suckered in in the first place.

There's a very small part of me that's almost eager to see how badly the Leafs will screw this up now. At least that would bring entertainment value. Who's the worst possible candidate they could settle on? Muckler? Healy? I know, what about bringing Ferguson back? You could make him wear a paper bag with a giant frowny face at all times.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go look for a shaving mirror and a hammer.


  1. brutal. if you, YOU, got "suckered in" and believed burke was on his way, imagine how i, the ultimate homer, felt about the situation?

    i've been telling people for weeks that it's only a formality that burke would be in toronto by draft day.

    i am an idiot.

    vaswani, lord of the idiots.

  2. I was never particularly suckered in... and to be fair, I'm GLAD Burke didn't show up. Yes he'd give us an identity... of pure thugs. We'd turn into Philly North if we played his style of game.

    I want the GM to bring in successful, offensively oriented, exciting hockey. I basically want us to resemble the Washington Capitals. That might take us years... but it's what I want. Call me crazy but I have a dream.

  3. steve, burke's team won the cup...isn't that what we want?

  4. Hmmm hmm himmmmmmm.

    Anna by The Beatles!

  5. To be honest, I never thought it would happen. It was just too perfect. The Leafs NEVER take the perfect road.

  6. Hmmm hmm himmmmmmm.

    Never heard of it.


  7. Jared, I second the desire for alcohol. Bottoms up, buddy! Let's drink til our souls stop hurting!

  8. MLSE, driving people to booze since before anyone alive can remember!

  9. the next step is for MLSE to open up their own liquor stores. or sell their own brand of vodka or whiskey.

  10. holy crap Navin, you're a genius!

    except the MLSE vodka would cost at least $700 a bottle, and the most fashionable types would only drink half of it, am I right?

  11. Nah, it would all get bought by corperations to hand out as shmoozing favours and end up collecting dust in the back of some exec's liquor cabinet.

    Real Leaf fans would only be able to get MLSE Malt Liquor, aptly named 'Standing Room Only'

  12. wow..."Standing Room Only" is a fucking brilliant name!!!!!!!!!1