Grantland: The 10 Commandments of NHL Shootouts

Just when we thought we’d seen it all in NHL shootout action, Alex Burrows proved us wrong. Plenty of players have used the ol’ spinorama in a shootout. But none of them ever came up with that whole “ignore the puck entirely when you do it” angle that Burrows broke out Monday:

Presumably, Burrows was hoping Kings goalie Jonathan Quick would be so mesmerized by his moves that he’d vacate the net entirely. Quick refused to bite, unlike some people we could mention.

So yes, the move was a disaster. (And be sure to check out this fantastic frame-by-frame breakdown of Burrows watching the replay.) But in a sense, you can understand what happened here. During regulation play, a breakaway is almost by definition a surprise play that develops in an instant. There’s a smart breakout pass or a great individual effort or a bad turnover, and suddenly someone’s in all alone. At most, that player gets a few seconds to decide what to do. Instinct takes over.

But when the actual hockey game is over and the convoluted individual skills competition starts, players suddenly have time to think about what they should do. And in some cases, as Burrows showed us, they can use that time to over-think things.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. By following just a few simple rules, players could avoid becoming the next Alex Burrows. All they need to do is know their history, learn from the mistakes of others, and observe the 10 Commandments of NHL Shootouts.

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Grantland: NHL Panic Watch

We’re roughly 10 percent of the way through the NHL season, and that means it’s time for some teams to panic.

Not really, of course. Even in this abbreviated season, jumping to conclusions based on four or five games would be downright irrational. So any of you hockey fans who are completely rational when it comes to your team can go ahead and stop reading right now.

The other 98 percent of you still with me? Good. Let’s hit the panic button.

One note: We’re focused here on teams that are struggling relative to expectations. The Blue Jackets may have been iffy so far, but they’re clearly in rebuilding mode, and just about everyone had already picked them for last place. A team like that can’t be considered to be in panic mode by any reasonable definition.

The same can’t be said for many of the early season’s other underachievers. Here’s a look at some of the teams that aren’t living up to expectations right now:

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So you've scored a goal: The etiquette of NHL celebrations

He skated as far as he could as fast as he
could and when it was over he was devastated
to realize he was still in Edmonton.

Edmonton Oiler rookie Nail Yakupov managed to make himself the talk of the hockey world last week when he celebrated a last-second goal against the Kings with an extended slide down the length of the rink.

While many chalked the moment up to youthful enthusiasm, others weren't so kind. Don Cherry called him an idiot, and many fans of other teams were even harsher. But was the criticism justified? After all, has anyone ever actually documented what exactly a player is allowed to do when they score?

They have, as it turns out. But apparently Yakupov didn't get the memo. So for the benefit of him and any other rookies who missed it, here's the official NHL etiquette for celebrating.

Do: Celebrate your 50th goal of the season by pretending that your hockey stick has caught on fire.
Do not: Forget to check your insurance company's fire policy first, to make sure they'll eventually replace your stick with one that can still score goals.

Do: Borrow the signature celebration of the Green Bay Packers by leaping into the first few rows of the stands after scoring.
Do not: Try this in Toronto during the opening ten minutes of a period, since you'd prefer to land in an area that actually has fans.

Do: Celebrate enthusiastically when you record a hat trick.
Do not: Use up all of your energy on that celebration, since you'll want to save some for your second shift against the Flyers defense.

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Grantland weekly grab bag: Was it ever OK to use that breakaway move in NHL 94?

This week we're debuting what we're hoping will become a weekly grab-bag style feature at Grantland.

This time around, I tackle pressing issues like Nail Yakupov’s celebration, Don Cherry’s missing chair, whether it was OK to use that breakaway move in NHL 94, and the Calgary Flames' legendary "Red Hot" video.

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Grantland: The NHL players nobody hates, and why we should hate them

Here’s a general rule about hockey fans: They hate just about everyone.

If you’re an NHL player, it doesn’t take much for hockey fans to turn against you. Sidney Crosby? Too whiny. The Sedins? The whole twin thing is creepy. Alexander Ovechkin? Once he scored a goal and then looked happy about it, so screw that guy. Basically, if a player has ever signed a big contract or won a fight or expressed an opinion, some large bloc of fans has already added him to their enemies list.

But every once in a while, a player manages to stick-handle through the neutral zone trap of hockey hatred and break in alone on the goaltender of positivity and — holy crap, that was a terrible metaphor, but I’m leaving it in because you get the point.

Anyway, here are a dozen of the NHL’s most universally admired active players, the reasons why we love them, and a suggestion for why we should all just turn against them now and get it over with.

>>Read the full post at Grantland