I'm looking for your submissions to Nickname Court

As we know, modern NHL nicknames are terrible, with most of them either just being a player's name with an -er or -y ending tacked on, or something based on player initials that features zero creativity. Let's fix that.

How it works: Readers send in nicknames for players (or lines or pairings or whatever), and a small group of us rule on whether they were good or not.

We're be looking for either of two kinds of submissions: - Brand new nicknames that you came up with, or that are percolating in a fan base but haven't fully caught on yet - Actually nicknames that are in use but need a ruling on whether they work or not

I'd love to get some entries to mull over. Please be clear on where the nickname came from, if anywhere, and who it would apply to. Send your submissions to dgbmailbag@gmail.com and let's see where this goes.

NHL weekend rankings: Thoughts on the Penguins, Sharks, and an ugly weekend in Toronto

 The eyes of the hockey world were on Toronto this weekend. That’s not unusual, because it's the home of the league’s most important team and whenever they’re not on screen, all the other teams should be asking “Where are the Maple Leafs?” But this time, there were a few specific reasons.

The first was Mitch Marner, finally returning to Toronto for the first time since his summer departure to Last Vegas. On Sunday, it was a rare afternoon game, this one featuring a visit from the league’s best team. And both games took place against a backdrop of a season fading away, as the Leafs stumble their way towards an uninspiring playoff miss.

So how’d it go? I’m going to use my bonus five this week on an in-depth analysis of all the most important news from the Leafs’ weekend.

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Welcome back, traitor: Remembering six of the ugliest receptions for returning stars

It’s been a week of returns in the NHL. On Monday, we saw Jonathan Toews’ first game back in Chicago, returning to the city where we won three Cups as a visitor for the very first time. The fans gave him a hero’s welcome, the sort of outpouring of emotion you rarely see in the sports world. It was a collective “thank you” to a player who meant so much to a franchise and its fan base.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJQTNxj0p3o

Tonight, Mitch Marner will return to Toronto, and the reception will be… not that.

We’re not quite sure what kind of welcome home Marner will get. No doubt, the team has prepared a sappy video for the first commercial break, because that’s the “classy” way to handle this stuff. Some fans will go along with the sentiment, others will be far more hostile, and manywill just want the whole thing to be over. When it comes to Marner’s exit, for some fans at least, it’s complicated.

Complicated, but not especially unique. So today, let’s remember six times that an NHL star returned home to a reception that was closer to Marner than Toews.

Some definitely deserved it, others maybe didn’t. But they all heard about it from their former fans, and it might give us some sense of what to expect in Toronto tonight. And we’ll even tack on the happy ending of reconciliation that most of these stories tend to get, if only to remind us that the Marners of the world are often welcomed back eventually. Often, but not always.

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Which goalie can build the best roster of guys who scored their first goal on him?

Today, we’re going to play a roster-building game based on a relatively straightforward question: Which goalie can make the best six-man team out of players who scored their first career goal against them?

That’s it. Nice and simple. But first, a few ground rules™:

- Each squad will be made up of three forwards, two defensemen and a goalie. Other than that, position won’t matter.

- The forwards and defensemen must have all scored their first career goals against the same goaltender. That goalie will then complete the roster, joining the guys who scored on him.

- Once they’re on the team, you’re getting the peak version of that player.

Before we start, let’s all tap sticks for reader Billy G., who not only sent me this idea, but also included a massive spreadsheet of relevant research. Folks, I can’t emphasize this strongly enough: My favorite readers are the ones who do all the work for me. Way to go Billy. You’re like the anti-Bryce.

We’re going to crank up stathead’s goal finder and build out a dozen rosters, and then turn it over to you in the comments to see if you can beat them.

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NHL weekend rankings: On the Bruins, the Flyers, and a sternly worded letter

Many times, an NHL season comes to be defined by the dominance of a select group. Sometimes, it’s the Year of the Goaltenders. Others, it might be the snipers who take over. In the first half, this looked like it would be a changing of the guard season. But now, a new contender emerges.

Hockey fans, welcome to the Year of the PR Department Statement.

It started last week, when the Senators declared war on the trolls and sick people. This week, it was the Ranger, doing what they do best: Writing open letters to their fans about how bad they are.

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Celebrate recycled coaches by taking our "Who Didn't He Coach For?" quiz

NHL teams sure do love to recycle coaches. Sure, you can always make the case for somebody with a fresh set of eyes and a different, maybe even more modern approach. But when a GM is choosing the hire that could make or break his team’s chances, the temptation to go with an experienced hand who’s been around the league will always be there.

We saw that this week in Columbus, where the Blue Jackets moved on from Dean Evason. They replaced him with 71-year-old veteran Rick Bowness, who’s been behind benches since the 1980s and is now making either his seventh or eighth stop as an NHL head coach (depending on whether you correctly believe that the Jets are the Jets.)

That many stints from one coach is rare, even in the NHL. But we’re used to seeing coaches get multiple chances to ply their trade. So today, let’s break out our favorite quiz gimmick – “Who didn’t he play for?” – and flip it around on the guys in suits.

I’ll give you 16 coaches, and four teams for each. Your job is to tell me: Who Didn’t He Coach For?

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We were right doubt to the Jets, and other midseason lessons from the prediction contest

One of my favorite posts of every year is the annual prediction contest, in which I give you ten simple questions about how the upcoming season will go, and you get them wrong.

I love that for us, for two reasons. First, it helps me feel better about all of my own bad predictions. (The New Jersey Devils: maybe not elite Cup contenders after all.) But more importantly, it’s a way to remind us all about just how unpredictable the NHL has become. It’s easy to look back at any given season after its over and shrug about how nothing was all that surprising. That gets a little tougher when you have over a thousand fans putting their predictions on the public record.

Will this season be another collective swing-and-miss? Probably, although we’re not there yet. But now that we’ve crossed the halfway point of the season, it feels like a good time to check in and see how we’re doing.

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NHL weekend rankings: The Senators, and other tales of Eastern Conference misery

Last week, I committed a grave violation of the eastern sportswriter protocol by talking about the Pacific Division. Specifically, how comically bad it was.

Apparently, some Eastern Conference teams were jealous. And like a toddler who hasn’t quite grasped the distinction between good attention and bad attention, they responded by making a nasty mess all over the floor. Is that chocolate? I really hope that’s chocolate.

OK, fair’s fair. Let’s talk about a few of the utter disasters unfolding

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Ranking the 10 best NHL matchups we haven't seen yet so far this season

We’re officially hallway through the NHL regular season schedule, and given that each team plays every other team at least twice, that means you might expect to have seen every possible matchup at least once by now. Of course, that’s now how the schedule works – things aren’t spread out quite so evenly, with some matchups frontloaded into the first few months and other making us wait.

For example, you could probably stump your friends by asking them to name the only two teams that have already played each other four times this season. That would be the Senators and the Bruins, two divisional rivals who’d already finished their entire season series by the holiday break. (If you use that in a bar bet and win a free beer, you have to send me a sip in the mail. I don’t make the rules.)

For today’s post, we’re going to look at the other extreme: The teams that have yet to face each other even once so far this season. By my count, there are 70 such pairings still on the table out of a possible 496, the vast majority of which are interconference tilts. Not all of those are exactly marquee matchups; I’m guessing there aren’t too many fans out there begging to see the Devils finally square off with the Kraken. But some of the pairings we haven’t seen yet are good ones, and today we’re going to rank them.

Here are my picks for the ten best matchups that the schedule has yet to offer us as the season heads into its second half.

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11 NHL teams riding statistical droughts that feel impossible but apparently aren’t

One of my favorite streaks in all of sports was in serious danger this weekend, but just barely survived: The Chicago Bears have still never had a 4,000-yard passer.

(Yes, I know you think you clicked on an NHL article. Don't worry, you did. We’re just going to use the NFL as a jumping off point. Give me a few paragraphs and we’ll get to the hockey, I promise.)

The thing about passing for 4,000 yards in an NFL season is that while it’s certainly not easy, it’s also not especially rare. Six players did it this year. Same with the year before. Ten did it the year before that, which was one off of the record for the most in a single season. All told, it’s a mark that’s been reached 238 times in league history.

Just never by a Chicago Bear. And that’s weird, because the Bears are one of the league’s oldest teams. But for a variety of reasons, ranging from injury to identity to (most often) ineptitude, they never seem to have a quarterback who can get to 4,000 yards. Even when they shuffled their way to a Super Bowl in 1985, they didn’t come close. This year, recent first overall pick Caleb Williams went into the season’s final game needing 270 yards to finally end the drought; he wound up with 212, good enough to break the franchise single-season record, but not to get to 4,000.

I love “never” stats like that – the ones that feel like they shouldn’t be possible over a long enough timeline, but somehow are. So today, let’s look back at 11 common stats and milestones that specific NHL teams have never hit, or in a few cases at least have an impossible-seeming drought hanging over them.

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NHL weekend rankings: On the Rangers, the Wings, and the awful Pacific Division

In a perfect world, I think the top five should have one team from each division. That’s not about spreading the hype or artificial parity. It’s just the reality of the current playoff format, where each division is virtually assured of sending one team to the final four. (The exception would be a crossover wildcard “winning” a division it wasn’t even in, which would be very funny but has sadly never happened. Yet.)

If our top five is about the long-term view, projecting ahead to an eventual Cup winner, that final four feels like it should be our starting point. And that means every division would ideally be represented. Remember, we’re not trying to figure out if a team is better than, say, the Wild. It’s about whether their Cup chances are higher, and not having to go through Dallas and Colorado to get to the conference final should count for something. Maybe even a lot.

All that said… I’m officially giving the Pacific Division a top five timeout.

I tried. I’ve spent the majority of the season with a Pacific rep in the top five somewhere – first with the Oilers way back in week one, and then with Vegas showing up eight times in the next 11 weeks. The division never went back-to-back without a top five team. Until now, because man, this division is a mess.

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