"I'd better schedule a lockout."
Unlike other leagues, where the championship trophy is handed over team owners and various corporate sponsors, the Stanley Cup is handed directly to the winning team's captain. And whether that captain takes the Cup for a victory lap or immediately hands it off to a deserving teammate, the moment always seems to end up being a memorable one for hockey fans around the world.
While we wait to find out whether Brown or Parise will get to enjoy that moment this year, here's a look back at some of the other NHL captains who've had a chance to accept the Stanley Cup on behalf of their teammates over the years.
1999 - Dallas Stars captain Derian Hatcher accepts the Cup while standing in the wrong spot, but for some reason everyone involved just ignores that and pretends that everything is fine.
2010 - The moment that Gary Bettman hands him the Stanley Cup is the happiest one of Jonathan Toews' entire life, apparently, since his one eyebrow looks like it kind of twitched there for a second.
1992 - As Mario Lemieux triumphantly lifts the Cup, the various NHL defensemen who have been clinging desperately to each of his limbs since the season opener sheepishly begin to realize that they can probably just let go now.
2008 - The historic moment of the first European captain receiving the Cup is ruined when a confused Nicklas Lidstrom asks if the big silver thing is some sort of fancy ashtray for his unfiltered cigarettes, Don Cherry imagines.
2004 - The Tampa Bay Lightning win their first ever championship, causing every fan of the early 90's Maple Leaf teams to simultaneously wonder why the Cup is being presented to Dave Andreychuk's great-grandfather.
2000 - Devils' captain Scott Stevens watches on as his teammates take turns handing the Cup to each other, then spends the rest of the celebration concussing anyone who admires their pass.
1993 - Guy Carbonneau lifts what will turn out to be the last Stanley Cup ever won at the Montreal Forum in an emotional moment, although everyone will later agree that the way he immediately starts measuring the bowl's curve while laughing hysterically and pointing at Marty McSorley was probably unnecessary.
2009 - While he realizes that all Cup-winning captains are asked to pose for a photograph with Bettman before accepting the trophy, Sidney Crosby still finds it kind of weird that Bettman takes the photo of them himself using his mobile phone and then immediately uploads it to a Facebook album called "Super-BFFs 4ever".
1994 - Mark Messier famously breaks into a fit of giddy laughter as Bettman hands him the Cup, probably because he just realized how much the Canucks would now be willing to offer him in free agency in a few years.
2007 - Scott Niedermayer accepts the Cup from Bettman, raises it triumphantly into the air, and then skates around the rink while using it to calmly deflect the various slapshots Daniel Alfredsson is still "accidentally" firing at him from center ice.
2001 - Joe Sakic takes the Cup and hands it directly to Ray Bourque, after realizing that going door-to-door and kicking every Boston Bruins fan in the groin individually would take too long.
1997 - After the Red Wings win their first title in over 40 years, Steve Yzerman hands the Cup to owner Mike Illitch instead of to a fellow veteran player like Brendan Shanahan, according to the weird prologue in the video explaining why Steven Stamkos was just suspended for the entire 2012-13 season for a tripping minor.
2005 - Gary Bettman doesn't hand any cups to anyone, unless you want to count a steaming hot cup of "give us your money and shut up", in which case every hockey fan in North America personally receives one.
2011 - Zdeno Chara accepts the Stanley Cup from Bettman in yet another example of foreigners having things handed to them by hard-working Americans, Tim Thomas secretly thinks.