Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A look at the nominees for the NHL's annual awards

"No, seriously, I used to get nominated for
the Hart all the time. Why are you laughing?"
The NHL has spent the last week announcing the nominees for this year's various awards. The league revealed a new set of nominees every day, culminating with yesterday's announcements of the candidates for the Jack Adams.

The hardware will be handed out on June 20th in Las Vegas during a televised ceremony that you were planning to watch right up until you found out Nickelback was playing. So instead, let's just run through the nominees in the major categories now and be done with it.

Here's a look at the contenders for some of the league's most prestigious awards.

Norris Trophy (best defenceman)

Erik Karlsson - Many voters have already acknowledged casting their ballots for the Senators' talented young blueliner, citing his high point totals, his dynamic offensive game, and the presence of Matt Carkner cracking his knuckles while grunting "You make little Erik sad, big Matt make you sad".

Zdeno Chara - The Bruins' undisputed franchise player should be absolutely unstoppable in the voting, unless the ballots end up being counted by some unheralded rookie goalie.

Shea Weber - They say that a defenceman has had a great game when you don't even notice anything he did, so we can assume that Weber has Brendan Shanahan's vote.

Vezina Trophy (best goaltender)

Henrik Lundqvist - Stopped 1,630 shots directed at the New York net this season, which was so impressive it almost ranked him in the top ten among Ranger players.

Jonathan Quick - Has already set several important Los Angeles Kings franchise goaltending records, such as "most games played without wearing a ridiculous blue bandana under his mask".

Pekka Rinne - Has single-handedly proven the importance of an elite goaltender by spending the first two games of the Predators' second round series against Phoenix not being one.

Calder Trophy (best rookie)

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins - He would be the first Edmonton Oiler to win a major individual award in his lifetime, he says, before trailing off and asking why all the old people are suddenly staring at calendars and crying.

Gabriel Landeskog - While some fans are no doubt sick of hearing about his maturity, observers can't help but remark on how incredibly poised he is, and how he often seems like a man playing among boys, and how he's already won the Calder Trophy six times since 1998.

Adam Henrique - He's the first Devil to be nominated for the Calder since Scott Gomez in 2000, which isn't really important except that a lot of Habs fans read this and it's fun to ruin their entire day by randomly working in a Scott Gomez reference.

Jack Adams Award (best coach)

Ken Hitchcock - In keeping with the Blues' season, the league will let Davis Payne ramble through the first few seconds of the acceptance speech before Hitchcock shows up and does a way better job.

Paul Maclean - The notoriously unflappable MacLean should manage to keep his composure during the ceremony despite the awkward realization that every one of ushers in the theatre have served as head coach the Senators within the last few years.

John Tortorella - Everyone is hoping he'll win, since it would be fun to see an acceptance speech that consisted entirely of tersely muttering "no update" three times before asking "Are we done?" and storming off.

Hart Trophy (most valuable player)

Henrik Lundqvist - A win would make him the first goaltender to win the Hart Trophy since Jose Theodore in 2002, and the first goalie to deserve the Hart Trophy since Dominik Hasek in 1998.

Steven Stamkos - Is working hard to establish the NHL product in a non-traditional market that often receives so little mainstream attention that you can just credit pretty much every goal your team scores all year to the same player and nobody will notice.

Evgeni Malkin - Experts expect him to win easily and are looking forward to seeing him accept the trophy at the awards ceremony, since it will be the first time anyone has seen him since the end of the regular season.




31 comments:

  1. No Selke or Lady Byng?

    ReplyDelete
  2. or Masterton?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually had a whole post on the Masterton nominees (so far) on March 24.

      Delete
    2. doh! you're right, my bad.. after the habs' burn in this post, i was hoping for something nice about us ;)

      Delete
  3. "Henrik Lundqvist - A win would make him the first goaltender to win the Hart Trophy since Jose Theodore in 2002, and the first goalie to deserve the Hart Trophy since Dominik Hasek in 1998." - Thank you. The fact Iginla did not win the Hart that year still burns. And I'm not even a Calgary fan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Theodore deserved it. Flames didn't even make the playoffs that year and without Theodore, the Habs would have been terrible.

      Delete
  4. This post was brilliant! Singling out a favourite would be unfair to the others.

    ...but since the voters pick one winner, I will too: Shea Weber!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jack Adams Award (best coach)
    Ken Hitchcock - In keeping with the Blues' season, the league will let Davis Payne ramble through the first few seconds of the acceptance speech before Hitchcock shows up and does a way better job.

    I loved this one.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lundqvist's ones were gold, nice work

    ReplyDelete
  7. Loved it! I haven't laughed this hard since Scott Gomez scored a goal back in February.

    ReplyDelete
  8. So after suffering quite some time with Vesa Toskala in Toronto you still don't have anything good / funny to say about Finnish goalies...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank god hes swedish then

      Delete
    2. Nope, Vesa's a Finn. Born in Tampere.

      Delete
  9. Days without shitting pants while laughing: 0

    ReplyDelete
  10. Loved the Jon Quick one. I became a Leafs fan in 92-93, and so I hated Kelly Hrudey. I always equated the bandana to him being some kind of self absorbed rockstar, like Axl Rose. My friends and I spent that summer reenacting that playoff run on the street, with a different outcome. The goalie who had to play as Hrudey would always allow a few soft goals because he was checking himself out in a car mirror or trying to pick up the girls in the crowd. To put this in context, we were 7.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Scott Gomez makes me cry...

    ReplyDelete
  12. "Shea Weber - They say that a defenceman has had a great game when you don't even notice anything he did, so we can assume that Weber has Brendan Shanahan's vote."

    AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE BECAUSE SHAE WEBER SAID SO!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Calder ones had me in stitches.

    ReplyDelete
  14. As a Penguins fan, that Malkin slap hurts, it's true...but it hurts.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I like the caption in the pic the best...

    ReplyDelete
  16. You had me at "...until you found out Nickelback was playing." Absolute gold. :))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I laughed my ass off at that joke because about a month ago I was considering watching the awards, heard Nickelback was playing and decided I won't

      Delete
  17. I agree with the positive comments, this article was brilliant. All you haters? You either, don't watch a lot of hockey, don't know about hockey history, or both. Probably both.

    for DGB, the link on the national sports doesn't redirect to here. Nice work on this piece.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Your best one recently. Great stuff. Winners in every award category!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lady Byng Trophy (best combination of skill and sportsmanship)

    Brian Campbell - Exhibited great skill in landing a huge contract in Chicago, and has been highly praised this season for not turning round to the press and shouting "Ha! I told you I was worth it!"

    Jordan Eberle - Led the Oilers in scoring and has so far restrained himself from punching everyone who asks him if he's Taylor or Ryan.

    Matt Moulson - Had his third consecutive 30-goal season and still hasn't asked the Islanders to trade him (or so Eklund tells us, so we'll assume it's true).

    Selke Trophy (best defensive forward)

    Pavel Datsyuk - "Wait, we forgot to nominate Datsyuk for the Lady Byng!"
    "Really? But we always remember that. Well which other awards does he usually get nominated for?"
    "The Selke normally."
    "OK well we'll nominate him for that then - no one will notice anyway."

    Patrice Bergeron - Many feel that this nomination was long overdue, but the knowledgeable voters felt that he made an especially outstanding contribution this season after also putting up great offensive numbers from the Tampa Bay blueline in the early part of the season.

    David Backes - anonymous sources felt that the Blues success this season was actually down to the play of Backes, and not the coaching of Ken Hitchcock. (Don't worry Davis, I won't tell anyone it was you. Oh wait...)

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Selke isn't funny, I guess?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Here's my poor attempt to fill in some of the other awards:-

    Lady Byng Trophy (best player to demonstrate combined skill and sportsmanship)

    Brian Campbell - Showed great skill in getting a huge contract from Chicago, and has so far resisted the urge to taunt the press by saying "See! I told you I was worth it!"

    Jordan Eberle - Led the Oilers in points, and has shown great restraint in not punching everyone who asks him whether he is Taylor or Ryan.

    Matt Moulson - Had his third consecutive 30-goal season and has apparently told Garth Snow that he is still happy as an Islander (e5)

    Selke Trophy (best defensive forward)

    Pavel Datsyuk - Voter 1: "We forgot to nominate Datsyuk for the Lady Byng!"
    Voter 2: "Really? But we always remember him. Well what's the other award we always nominate him for?"
    Voter 1: "The Selke..."
    Voter 2: "That's it! We'll nominate him for that then - no one will even notice."

    Patrice Bergeron - Many consider this to be a long overdue nomination, but the knowledgeable voters felt he made a special effort this season - along with his usual duties, putting up good numbers whilst filling in on the Tampa blueline.

    David Backes: An anonymous but entirely reliable source has informed us that the Blues great defensive play this season is entirely down to Backes, and not bringing in Hitchcock. (Don't worry Davis, no one will ever know. Oh wait...)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Malkin....gold Jerry, gold!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Pekka Rinne - perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Adam Henrique - He's the first Devil to be nominated for the Calder since Scott Gomez in 2000, which isn't really important except that a lot of Habs fans read this and it's fun to ruin their entire day by randomly working in a Scott Gomez reference.

    Hilarious :)

    - Canadiens fan

    ReplyDelete