Saturday, February 18, 2012

Buyers and sellers at the 2012 trade deadline

No seriously, Todd Gill was awesome.
The Gill for Geoffrion trade featured a player
who shares a last name with one of the greatest
players in NHL history. And also, Blake Geoffrion.
The countdown to the 2012 trade deadline has reached single digits, with just nine days remaining until the big day. Only a handful of deals have been made so far and most of the top names rumored to be in play are still available, so fans can expect plenty of teams to be busy between now and February 27.

Of course, “busy” will mean different things to different teams. Some are planning to stock up for a run at a championship. Others have thrown in the towel on the season and will be looking to rebuild for the future. And of course, there’s a third group: the ones who haven’t decided which of the first two groups they fit into yet. Those teams have nine days left to figure it out.

So where does your favorite team fit? Here’s a handy guide to which teams are likely to be buying and which ones will be selling in the days ahead.

Buyer: Chicago Blackhawks – General manger Stan Bowman has repeatedly told reporters that he isn’t looking to add a goaltender so the team will presumably focus on a more pressing need, such as a GM who realizes that they desperately need a goaltender.

Seller: San Jose Sharks – Recently acquired Dominic Moore for a second round draft pick, so as per NHL rules must now focus all their efforts on trading away Dominic Moore for a second round draft pick.

Buyer: New York Rangers – Have recently come under heavy pressure to make a major move from local newspapers, but only on the strict condition that the player they acquire have at least one syllable in his name that rhymes with “Lin”.

Seller: Montreal Canadiens – Based on yesterday’s trade that sent towering defenceman Hal Gill to the Predators, may have misunderstood that old adage about “selling high”.

Buyer: Edmonton Oilers – Will no doubt attempt to add depth in the organizations biggest area of need: People who can stare at a calendar and yell “Move faster!” until draft day.

Seller: Anaheim Ducks – They’ll almost certainly be looking to unload some of their high-priced talent since they have no chance of making the playoffs according to all these perfectly good stories that were pre-written months ago and are now worthless, jerks.

Buyer: St. Louis Blues – Will probably try to add a third goaltender who gets a shutout every single time he plays, just so the two they already have don’t start getting complacent.

Seller: Carolina Hurricanes – Wisely got a head start on moving out all of their high-value assets by never having any in the first place.

Buyer: Toronto Maple Leafs – As always Brian Burke will be looking to add size up front; ideally, a player so large that he can also play defense and goalie since that’s where the team’s actual weakness is.

Seller: Winnipeg Jets – Oh, we’re selling alright, assuming you’re talking about playoff tickets! Whoo! (Oh, and also veteran players, because we’re looking to unload a bunch of those too.)

Buyer: Philadelphia Flyers – Have been looking to add an elite difference-making defenceman, and the recently acquired Nicklas Grossman certainly meets the definition of one of those words.

Seller: New York Islanders – They may be last in their division by a mile, but by trading some veterans they could acquire prospects and draft picks who within a few years could develop into the veterans who are traded for prospects and draft picks because the Islander are last in their division by a mile.

Buyer: Phoenix Coyotes – Specifically, looking to buy raincoats, Starbucks gift cards and books about the history of grunge music. Uh, no reason.

Seller: Columbus Blue Jackets – Recently asked Rick Nash to provide a list of teams who would accept a trade to, before coming back hours later to clarify that they were really only looking for NHL teams from the current era so he could stop writing now.


  1. I expected them to clarify to Nash that he could only be traded to NHL teams so no need to write down every MLB, NBA, and NFL franchise he could think of.

  2. The Canes did have a high priced asset (not sure about high value) - but they traded Tomas Kaberle to Montreal already.

  3. I'm all packed and ready to go... Hey is that...Jeff? Why are you hiding in my luggage again?

  4. I knew it! Nick Grossman is an Elite banjo player!

  5. I'm pretty sure your joke about the Rangers is actually true. I'm 4 bad puns away from taking hostages.

  6. "Buyer: Phoenix Coyotes – Specifically, looking to buy raincoats, Starbucks gift cards and books about the history of grunge music. Uh, no reason."

    Is Hamilton really that rainy?

    Great as always, though I worry about your sanity (or your controlled substances) with your Todd Gill caption.

    1. All those three things relate to Seattle, not Hamilton. It's rainy there, Starbucks started there, and grunge music originated there.

    2. I thought that was so obvious that asking about Hamilton would be seen as obviously playing dumb instead of actually being dumb (as well as being a tweak against Bettman, who'd sooner relocate the Coyotes to Tijuana than cave in to Balsillie). Oh well, sorry for the confusion!

  7. hahaha nice call on Gill. Habs 'sold low' with the Cammalleri deal

    1. No, I think he meant that Pierre Gauthier was on drugs when he made the trade.

    2. No, he meant Hal Gill is tall. That's why referred to him as towering. If PG was on drugs, he should take them more often, he fleeced Poile on this one.

  8. Haha, the caption on the picture was the best part of this.

  9. I don't get the NYR one :/

  10. According to Mike in Philly, there aren't any elite players that rhymes with "Lin"

  11. So that rules out Bobby Clarke for Blackhawks GM, right?