he'll actually try, I guarantee it!"
Whether it's a record being broken or a milestone being reached, you never know when you're going to have the chance to witness a little bit of history. This year is shaping up to be no exception. Several marks have already been set, and many more are potentially on the way.
Here's a collection of some of the records and milestones that fans should be watching for as the season plays out.
Ottawa Senators - Are probably only about 10 or 15 games away from setting the all-time league record for most times being coached by Bryan Murray.
Joe Thornton - The Sharks forward is closing in on several milestones this season, including 1,000 points, 300 goals, 700 assists, and four playoff wins.
Ondrej Pavelec - Recently collapsed to the ice untouched while the action was 180 feet away, nearly breaking Daniel Carcillo's league record of 185 feet.
Chris Osgood - Is only three wins away from joining the exclusive "400 career wins despite being completely terrible" club.
Florida Panthers - Are just a dozen new subscribers away from setting a new all-time franchise record for season ticket holders, with a dozen.
Daniel Alfredsson and Alexei Kovalev - Both players entered the season within ten points of 1,000 for their careers, which based on current rates of production will give Senator fans a chance to celebrate one of the games most important milestones once.
Daniel Sedin - Is just 15 career points away from becoming the league's all-time leading scorer among players who look exactly like Daniel Sedin.
Toronto Maple Leafs - Recently set the record for largest annual percentage increase in wins in the opening three weeks of the season, or would have, if division by zero were possible.
Jacques Martin - The Canadiens bench boss will coach in the 1,200th game of his career in November. The occasion will be marked in a pre-game ceremony in which a bucket of paint will be dumped on the ice, after which fans in attendance will be encouraged to spend 60 minutes watching it dry.
Kris Draper - Is just four assists away from joining the "200 assists" club, which would probably be more impressive if he wasn't also a member of the "wait hasn't he played in like 9,000 games?" club.
Wade Redden - Recently became the AHL's all-time leader in career salary upon completion of his first shift.
Martin Brodeur - The legendary goalie trails Patrick Roy's career saves mark by roughly 900, and will have an opportunity to break the record during a game next week when he is the only player the Devils can afford to dress.
Sean Avery - Will break his own record for "most people simultaneously wanting to see a guy get punched in the face", presumably, since experts tell us that the global population continues to grow.
Zack Stortini - Recently broke the career record for Corsi qualcomp score, which come to think of it is a little bit suspicious given that he's also the only person on the planet who knows how to calculate it.
Patrick Kane - Recently set some sort of record for career shots, according to local bartenders.
Roberto Luongo - Has a chance to reach the 300-win plateau late in the season, which by that point will be pretty darn good for a backup.
Chris Pronger - Will not actually set any records or reach any milestones this season, but will somehow still wind up with all the other players' souvenir pucks.
Recently set the record for largest annual percentage increase in wins in the opening three weeks of the season, or would have, if division by zero were possible.
ReplyDeleteInfinity's a number. Why not.
that last onejust sums everything up. awesome work!
ReplyDeleteIs Zack Stortini actually smart? Maybe you were thinking of George Parros? Parros went to Princeton.
ReplyDeleteUm, not to nit-pick, but shouldn't the Daniel Sedin one be the "all-time leading scorer among players who look exactly like Henrik Sedin"? Or did I miss something?
ReplyDeleteWhats with the Chris Osgood hate? He's had a good career, two stanley cups, almost a third. Hes a pretty nice guy.
ReplyDeleteThe rest are funny though.
@Sergei, obviously since they are twins the joke works either way. That's irony wrapped in serendipity (or DGB displaying brilliance).
ReplyDeleteFunny, but I'm disappointed in the lack of Leafs posts since DGB started writing for the paper... this used to be a leafs' blog...
ReplyDelete@Anonymous, Re: Osgood.
ReplyDeleteHe most certainly is, just ask him. He'll gladly recite his stats and state his case as to why he should be a hall of famer.
He's hockey's answer to Ron Santo, except Osgood has feet and doesn't have a bad hairpiece.
The way I read the Sedin joke, Henrik must have 14 more points than Daniel
ReplyDeleteThe Sedin one was hilarious. Very clever.
ReplyDeleteinfinity is NOT a number.
ReplyDeleteHabs fan that loved the Martin line! Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteYou might've just become our good luck charm!
ReplyDeleteGo Sens Go
LOL!
ReplyDeleteI <3 Kane
Not absolutely hilarious but your post begore this one was so good it carries over a lot of good will so I voted 5Stars.
ReplyDeleteSo there.
5 stars! I loved the Dan Carcillo joke. And the Sean Avery statement is totally true. :D
ReplyDeletePerhaps not as monumental but, Rick Rypien is now tied with Tie Domi and Terry O'Reilly for most fights with a spectator!
ReplyDeleteSedin joke is Genius.
ReplyDeleteFor folks that don't get it: It is quite amusing that he doesn't even hold the record for points for people who look exactly like himself.
craig conroy plays his 1000th game tonight!
ReplyDeletehahahha, golden, especially the sedin one
ReplyDelete