is still mostly attached.
Meanwhile, the NHLPA is taking all sorts of heat for not moving quickly on the issue. More than a few observers have pointed out that it's the players who are getting their brains scrambled on these hits, and it should be the players who are leading the charge to outlaw them.
Instead, they seem to prefer what Jason Spezza has referred to as "a band-aid fix". Since, as we all know, bandaids are an appropriate way to deal with catastrophic head wounds.
Everyone's so busy attacking the NHLPA that nobody has asked for their side of the story. Well I did. And it turns out the association has plenty of very good reasons for taking its time on this issue. They were even kind enough to send me the full list:
- Our younger players were convinced to reconsider the need for a rule change after hearing a persuasive presentation from veteran players entitled "Hey, we've been taking headshots our whole career and you don't see us banana toolbox salamander".
- We're all big fans of Swingers, and are hesitant to do anything that would prevent us from making each other's heads bleed.
- We've been subjected to a relentless lobbying campaign from the nation's powerful stretcher industry.
- Many of us are good friends with the media who cover us, and we'd hate to resolve this and force them to actually come up with something else to write about.
- Players could protect themselves from headshots if they'd just take a few simple precautions. For example, Zdeno Chara suggested that we all try being 6'9".
- We're still seeking confirmation from the league that a ban on headshots won't impact on our ability to pwn each other in Call of Duty.
- We're trying to get feedback from every player, but no, lazy guys like Marc Savard would apparently rather just lay around in bed all day.
- It's taking us several days to explain to Jason Spezza what a "bodycheck" is.
- American players finally have nationalized health care -- it's only fair that they all get a chance to use it.
- We're pretty sure that if we can draw this out just a few more days, Mike Milbury will end up physically attacking Pierre McGuire. And then we all win.
- We're not really into that whole "taking decisive action" scene; that's more of an NFL thing.
- We're still studying several detailed proposals from Chris Chelios, who for some reason seems really interested in protecting the player's brains. Their tasty, tasty brains.
- Hey, excuse us if it takes us a little longer than normal to think this stuff through. If you hadn't noticed, we've all been getting elbowed in the head since October.
- We keep leaving voicemail for our senior leadership asking for their advice, but for some reason nobody ever calls us back.