We are all Dallas Stars fans now

As leaguewide scoring rates continue to drop and the NHL mulls yet another round of rule changes to boost offense, many fans are no doubt wondering: What can I do? What kind of steps could a typical fan take to help the league get back to the sort of exciting action it used to showcase a generation ago, before defense and goaltending took over?

The answer has always been: not much. Fans can complain all they want, but the issue is a complicated one and the league has shown precious little resolve to make the sort of drastic changes that might address it. You can vote with your eyeballs or your wallet, but that’s about it. There’s nothing you can do to help the league save itself.

Until now. This season, there really is a simple action we all could take that could make a difference.

This season, we all need to cheer for the Dallas Stars to win the Stanley Cup.

>> Read the full post on ESPN.com

The NHL's application form for new owners

The "Everyone who thinks hockey can
work in Phoenix" club: 2011 group photo

Welcome to the latest round of NHL ownership roulette. While the Buffalo Sabres seem to have found a saviour in Terry Pegula, other teams haven't been so lucky. The Dallas Stars' ownership situation could impact their ability to resign players like Brad Richards, while the Atlanta Thrashers have been mentioned as a team that could be on the move as early as next season.

And then, of course, there's the never-ending saga of the Phoenix Coyotes. Ongoing wrangling with the city of Glendale has many predicting that the team will have no choice but to move, perhaps back to Winnipeg.

It's all very frustrating, and as a fan you'd be forgiven if you were tempted to take matters into your own hands and just buy a team for yourself. And if so then you're in luck, because I've obtained a copy of the league's application form for new owners. Simply fill out the form below and send it to Gary Bettman, and soon you too could be the proud owner of your very own team.

***

Thank you for your interest in purchasing an NHL team. As you can imagine, the process of being accepted as an NHL owner is an arduous one that involves an exhaustive examination of your background and qualifications.

In that spirit, please complete the following one-page application form:

Are you interested in buying an NHL team?
( ) Yes
( ) No

If you indicated "Yes" to the question above… uh, seriously?
( ) Ha ha… No
( ) Yes!

Wow. OK, next question: Do you have any money?
( ) Yes
( ) No
( ) No, but I am willing to pretend that I do until it's too late.

If you are applying to purchase a team in a large market with a rich history, please indicate the name of the billion-dollar company you are associated with:
______________________________

If you are applying to purchase a team in a medium-sized market with a small but loyal fan base, please indicate how many loans you will require to complete this transaction:
______________________________

If you are applying to purchase a team in the southern United States, please indicate how much loose change you have in your pocket right now:
______________________________

If you are applying to purchase a team in the southern US or other non-traditional market, please indicate the reason for your interest (check all that apply):
( ) Have not read an article on the economics of hockey since the 1993 Stanley Cup final.
( ) Have succeeded at everything I've ever tried; want to see what this whole "failure" thing I've heard so much about is like.
( ) Want someplace I can go a few evenings a week during the winter when I need to be alone.
( ) A judge has recently ordered me to pay half my net worth to my ex-wife; my lawyer tells me that this will be slightly less obvious than just setting a giant pile of money on fire.

Please describe your level of familiarity with the sport of hockey:
( ) Have been a die-hard fan ever since the sport was invented, back on the day Mark Messier was traded to the Rangers.
( ) Have seen most of the Mighty Duck movies.
( ) Once got a blister playing the arcade version of "Blades of Steel" with the rolly ball thing.
( ) Hockey's the one with pigskin and cleats and the billion-dollar TV contract, right?

Do you have an in-depth plan in place for financing a state-of-the-art arena for your team?
( ) Yes
( ) No

Can that in-depth plan be summarized in its entirety as "Get the city to pay for it"?
( ) Yes
( ) Yes

What is your ultimate goal in purchasing an NHL franchise?
( ) Winning a Stanley Cup championship
( ) Fostering a sense of civic pride within my community
( ) Fostering a sense of civic pride within whichever community I'm threatening to move the team to in a few months
( ) Have several enemies; would like to work in an industry in which I can break their necks without consequences

Hey, you're not planning to be one of those owners who writes open letters, are you?
( ) What?
( ) No sir!

Finally, if you're reading this application form on a smart phone, what kind is it?
( ) iPhone
( ) Droid
( ) Blackberry
( ) Unreleased Blackberry prototype, since it's my company and … uh, I mean, iPhone.

Nice try, Jim.
( ) Dammit!

2009-2010 Season Preview: The Pacific Division

As we count down the final days leading up to the 2009-10 regular season, let's take a look at each of the 30 teams with the official DGB Season Preview. Today, we look at the Pacific Division.

San Jose Sharks

The good: Finally addressed that longstanding "locker room cancer" void.
The bad: Attempted to address a history of playoff failure by acquiring an Ottawa Senator. Let that sink in for a minute.
Biggest question mark: Will it be an upper body or a lower body injury that Dany Heatley fakes to get out of the first game in Edmonton?
Fearless forecast: The Sharks record 145 regular season points, then manage to lose their first round playoff series in three games.

Anaheim Ducks

The good: Feature starting goaltender Jonas Hiller, whose outstanding play in the post-season showed that he is without question the second best European free agent goalie named "Jonas" that Brian Burke has ever signed.
The bad: Ex-Hab Saku Koivu may have a difficult time adjusting to the lack of pompous ceremonial wankfests at the start of every single game.
Biggest question mark: Ryan Getzlaf is going to get it over with and shave his head, isn't he? He knows we can see him, right?
Fearless forecast: As per league rules, will at some point trade Joffrey Lupul for Chris Pronger.

Dallas Stars

The good: This.
The bad: Every one of those girls probably has Sean Avery cooties.
Biggest question mark: When Joe Nieuwendyk was reading Marc Crawford's resume, did the page listing everything from 1998-2009 fall out?
Fearless forecast: The team is much-improved thanks to the unveiling of a clever new trick play known as "Marty Turco actually make a save".

Los Angeles Kings

The good: Drafted Brayden "Owen" Schenn, who will inspire teammates with stories of how awesome his big brother is.
The bad: Front office made Brian Burke angry, and as such will probably all be dead by November.
Biggest question mark: Most terrifying Hunter for a Los Angeles King to run into in a dark alley: Tim, Dale, or Rachel?
Fearless forecast: The young team will no doubt benefit from the leadership of Ryan Smyth, who has been a winner everywhere he's ever played with the exception of Colorado, Long Island, and every year in Edmonton except one.

Phoenix Coyotes

The good: Thanks to an aggressive marketing push, experts are now predicting higher-than-expected ticket sales in the 14,000 to 16,000 range.
The bad: That's not an average.
Biggest question mark: Will the team still be able to travel to road games with Wayne Gretzky stuck under the team bus?
Fearless forecast: Calls for "The Whiteout" will once again be heard in April, as employees look for corrective fluid to remove the word "Phoenix" from their business cards.