Tuesday, July 9, 2013

A look at the top candidates for today's Hockey Hall of Fame announcement

After J.R. said "See you at the 2013 induction!",
Scott held his "Is he serious?" face for 45 minutes.

Today's the day when the Hockey Hall of Fame will introduce us to the Class of 2013.

The Hall's 18-member committee will hold its annual meeting today in Toronto, where they'll be tasked with weighing the pros and cons of the various players, coaches and builders who are eligible for induction. After a series of confidential votes, the committee will announced their selections.

Here's a look at some of the top candidates for induction in the Class of 2013.

Chris Chelios - Is expected to be enshrined alongside Bobby Orr and Doug Harvey and Eddie Shore and other legendary defensemen who grew up idolizing him.

Scott Niedermayer - Is a slam dunk for induction, and will hopefully attend the ceremony if he can take time out of his busy schedule of wandering around Ottawa screaming "I told you so!" at sobbing fans in Daniel Alfredsson jerseys.

Rob Blake - Was a Norris Trophy winner and a Stanley Cup champion and an Olympic gold medalist and a six-time NHL all-star, and also appears briefly in The Love Guru so that's going to have to be a "no".

Brendan Shanahan - Didn't make the cut last year, and can't even begin to tell you how frustrating it is to be a victim of a ridiculous decision from some arbitrary process that nobody even fully understands and isn't even accountable to… um, why is everyone staring at him right now?

Paul Kariya - Is expected to be knocked out in the first round of voting, after which he'll probably return and score the winning goal.

Phil Housley - Retired in 2003 as the all-time leading scorer among American-born players and hasn't been seen since, according to Canadians who've had all traces of the 2013 World Junior Championships surgically removed from their brains.

Pat Burns - Has yet to be selected despite winning three Jack Adams Awards as coach of the year, although in fairness none of the other three-time winners have ever been inducted either.

Theo Fleury - Scored 455 times in his 15-year career, which to this day still stands as the NHL record for the most goals caused by a Fleury who wasn't a goaltender in the first round of the playoffs.

Peter Bondra - Scored almost 500 goals during a long career with the Washington Capitals, but drew criticism for being too one-dimensional thanks to his stubborn insistence on only playing on one wing at a time.

Dave Andreychuk - Scored 640 goals, had almost 700 assists and captained a team to a Stanley Cup, before finally retiring to pursue a fulltime career as the counter-example to that whole "The Hall of Fame has a bias towards ex-Leafs" thing.

Eric Lindros - His induction would result in an image of his face being etched onto the traditional frosted-glass plaque, which would be the most durable he's looked since his rookie season.

Kevin Lowe - Admits that he's never really understood the Hall of Fame selection process, since it occasionally results in bizarre decisions such as bringing in people who aren't former Edmonton Oilers.

Brian Bellows - His opponents considered him a superstar with an unbelievable ability to play through pain, at least according to that YouTube video the selection committee found when they tried to google his name.

Curtis Joseph - Is the top goaltending candidate since he's the only elite goalie who retired from the NHL in 2010, and that's going to remain true no matter how many coins you throw into that wishing well, Roberto.

Sergei Makarov - His controversial Calder Trophy win in 1990 resulted in the creation of "The Makarov Rule", which states that the Calgary Flames would never again be allowed to have a decent rookie.

Geraldine Heaney - The Hall of Fame selection committee has frequently been referred to a boy's club, which is completely unfair and inaccurate in the sense that most boys do occasionally remember that females exist.

Fred Shero - His induction would give his son a chance to come to the Hall of Fame and learn about all the ancient legends who dominated the game many generations ago, instead of just trying to acquire them all at the trade deadline.

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  1. If lidström and forsberg doesn't make the hall of fame I don't know what to do

    1. We might have to wait a couple years for that outrage. You know, when they're finally eligible for the travesty.

    2. Not eligible until they have been retired for 3 years so Forsberg is another year (I believe) and Lidstrom is another 2

  2. Ouch, the Fleury and Shero entries both sting but still made me laugh.

    Good job as always.

  3. seems like DGB has been on a vacation and has come back rejuvenated in full humour..some hall of fame descriptions.. well done, Sir.

  4. You don't consider Roman Turek and Mathieu Dandenault as candidates?

  5. Not meaning to be a troll but it's Theoren.

    1. It's also Robert Blake, David Andreychuk and Christos (yup) Chelios.

    2. For the record, I think I had it wrong originally and then just changed it to "Theo" because I was too lazy to verify the actual spelling.

  6. Was kinda waiting for a Brind'Amour vote for him ripping the cup out of Bettman's hands.

  7. I'm a Pens fan, but that Fred Shero one was hilarious.

  8. Haha, Bondra scored his 500th as a Blackhawk! Proud to say I was at that game. And I only paid $8 for the ticket. The good ol' days...... I think.