Monday, December 5, 2011

Is Alexander Ovechkin a coach killer?

The struggling Washington Capitals fired head coach Bruce Boudreau last week. And while Boudreau landed on his feet almost immediately in Anaheim, there are still plenty of questions about what went wrong in Washington. Most of the fingers are pointing at franchise player Alexander Ovechkin, who's numbers have dropped significantly over the past two seasons.

Is Ovechkin hurt? Has he already peaked? Or, perhaps worst of all, did he quit on his coach in an attempt to get him fired?

As it turns out, that last question came up recently at one of new coach Dale Hunter's first practices in Washington. And Bloge Salming was there with cameras rolling.

You can download an mp3 of this song at Backhand Shelf.

Full lyrics below:

Boudreau: He got me fired...
Ovechkin: Now I ain't sayin' I'm a coach killer
Boudreau: I'm out of work...
Ovechkin: But they weren't paying Boudreau nine million
Boudreau: He got me fired...
Ovechkin: Now I ain't sayin' I'm a coach killer
Boudreau: I'm out of work...
Ovechkin: But they weren't paying Boudreau nine million
Boudreau: He turned on me...
Ovechkin: Get out Bruce, go 'head get lost
Boudreau: He turned on me...
Ovechkin: Get out Bruce, go 'head get lost
Boudreau: He turned on me...
Ovechkin: Get out Bruce, go 'head get lost, get out Bruce, go 'head...

Two thousand and four
Met me on the entry draft floor
Picked first overall
Thanks to a lottery ball
They said he's just having fun
You can tell by his smile
Far as goals he'll get a ton
Against the Panthers and Leafs and the Isles
But we're lookin' for a Cup, have you seen it?
Leonsis promised we'd hang banners in the arena.
Two Harts, one Art Ross, two Rocket Richards
And now the coach tells me that he thinks I don't play hard?
Okay I'll buy in, but then we better win
And not choke against the Pens, or some hot goalie again.
And in the final minute, you know I'd better play
If you're benching me in games then you better feel safe
You know why?
Cause you're not going to budge me.
Caps fans' throats is where the team has shoved me
Media thinks they can shame me and judge me
But I don't care what none of y'all say they'll still love me


Thirteen years, thirteen years
I had three good seasons then they gave me thirteen more years
I know some players giving discounts and backloading their deals
But Ovi doesn't play that, I need money for wheels
You will see me on TV, veteran product hawker
Eating Mr. Big with creepy heads inside of lockers
I was supposed to be impossible to stop as a shooter
Set the world on fire like a Vancouver looter
Drink from more Cups than Patrick Kane at a Hooters
But I ran out of gas like Mike Green on a scooter
If you're George McPhee holla' we need a goalie
It's something that you need to have
'Cause when we faced Halak I had to take a nap
Thirteen years, thirteen years
And with ten years left to go they found I didn't care?


Now I ain't sayin' I'm a coach killer, you're brand new
You're gonna want a team that works hard, just like you
You went out to play, you'd punch throats, you'd break jaws
You once benched Robbie Schrempf, you're gonna lay down the law
But... while y'all plotting, watch me
I'm gon' make it to a Cup ring just like Crosby
I got that ambition, baby, look in my eyes
This week I'm kind of bored, but next week I might try
So... stick to your plan
I know that you're this legend, and yeah that's all grand
And I'll keep showboating and floating
But you keep screaming
Then one word from me, replace your ass with Mike Keenan


  1. had my hopes up for a cop killer parody

  2. Ummm...ducks still haven't won under boudreau. Caps have won with Hunter.

  3. Can somebody tell me what song this is a parody of?

  4. Yo that was straight dope. Keep doing what you're doing.

    Anon- that was Gold Digger by Kanye West.

  5. ^ Gold Digger by Kanye West & Jamie Foxx

  6. Signed in to say this was amazing...well done hahahhaa

  7. ^ Golddiggers by Kanye!

  8. That. Was. Incredible. Outstanding work -- really funny.

  9. I too was hoping for a Body Count parody. And maybe a Dale Hunter cross check to someone's head.

  10. Awesome.
    Except for the 15 or so times you spelled "you're" as "your"...
    As an OHL non-London fan--PLEASE STAY IN DC, DALE!!!

  11. Well done.

    A lesser man (such as myself) would have had Hunter crosscheck Boudreau into the boards five seconds after the song ended. Not that I'm bitter or anything... I mean who holds a grudge from 1993 until now?

  12. I, too, thought it was going to be cop killer remix haha

  13. Replaced with Mike Keenen, hahahaha.

  14. We get it, you know how to use protools. Enough with the rap parodies already, they're awful. Someone had to say it.

  15. AHhh yessss

    Nice touch.

  16. @Anyonymous from 11:29 AM
    It's almost cliche for me to say this but, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH.

    I already posted in this but I'll post again. This was amazing. Keep doing them.

  17. Meh. I used to really enjoy seeing a new Bloge video, but now 80% of them are rap parodies, a music genre I just can't stand. Whatever happened to the Wilson Christmas Parties, the Gong Shows, the Bonding Trips in Huntsville? Those were hilarious without relying on music.

  18. LOL great parody of the classic hip hop song. Hmmm, now how about, I aint saying shes a gold GRILLZ digger? Sink your teeth into that one!

  19. This is eerily prophetic after Oates has been crucified for the 13/14 season. Ovie (and that contract, because to be fair he wasn't the one who offered that ridiculous sum) and McPhee really are coach killers. Exact same situation in 2014 as in 2011, and no one learned anything from past mistakes.