Key details from today's NHL/MLB partnership agreement

Bruins. Flyers. Fenway. This image is the top Google result
for "things not involved in the 2015 postseason".

The NHL made some rare August news today, announcing a partnership with Major League Baseball that will see the latter’s MLBAM media division take over the NHL’s web, mobile and streaming services. It’s a big deal, one reportedly valued at around $1.2 billion, and as you would expect with an agreement of that size, it contains lots of fine print.

Luckily, DGB spies were able to get their hands on the deal, and reported back with some of the key details in today’s agreement between the two sports giants.

• NHL.com will get to give “earned run average”, “strikeouts” and “home runs” confusing new names and then claim they just invented them this year.
  
  
• Both sides agree to indefinitely continue playing that hilarious “Act like you’re actually going to bring a beloved former franchise back to the province of Quebec” joke.
  
  
• The NHL grudgingly agrees that MLB can continue to call 40 fat dudes in flip flops half-heartedly hugging each other a “brawl”.
  
  
• MLB officials clarify that the league’s new rules about having to remain in contact with the box at all times will continue to apply to baseball players only, so calm down, Jamie Benn.
  

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NHL owners' other leaked CBA demands

During a break in negotiations, Bettman takes a
moment to consider plans for his sun-blocking device.

Any sense of optimism over the NHL's upcoming CBA negotiation disappeared last week when details of the owners' initial offer to the players leaked to the public. Despite some early hope that the two sides would learn from past mistakes and find common ground quickly, it looks like fans are in for another contentious battle.

The owners' initial offer - which includes slashing the player's share of league revenues, a five-year limit on contracts, the elimination of arbitration and significant changes to free agency - has no chance of being accepted. But while some have chalked the proposal up as just a basic negotiating tactic, others see it as a signal that the league is intent on undergoing yet another long work stoppage.

And that's just based on the high-level details that leaked out - it turns out that the actual proposal included plenty more for players to chew on. My spies were able to get their hands on a copy of the offer, which sheds light on some of the additional demands that NHL owners are insisting on seeing in the next CBA.

• The league and its players must work together to come up with new revenue streams that could add millions of dollars to the league's bottom line, such as having Cam Janssen bring a swear jar to all his radio interviews.
  
  
• Columbus would really like us to consider another round of expansion, since they're running out of teams to laugh hysterically into the phone when Scott Howson calls with his latest Rick Nash proposal.
  
  
• Any time the NHLPA starts talking about how the union will absolutely refuse to bend on certain key principles, the owners reserve the right to order in for pizza and then drum their fingers nonchalantly when Bob Goodenow shows up to deliver it.
  
  
• We're going to need to roll back the salary of every active NHL player, with the exception of Brad Richards, since according to this magazine we picked up the poor guy can't even afford to buy clothes these days.
  

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Other Montreal Canadien fan complaints

Montreal Canadiens fans aren’t very happy these days. The team has been a disappointment all season, with a combination of injuries and lacklustre play leaving them well outside of the current playoff picture.

But apparently that's not even the biggest problem facing the franchise. That honor would be reserved for interim Canadiens' coach Randy Cunneyworth, who's hiring generated controversy because he can't speak French. Tension over that issue may be taken to new heights today, when Canadiens fans (or at least groups claiming to represent them) are reportedly planning a pre-game protest outside of the Bell Centre.

But while the language-based outrage is getting all the attention, it's actually only one of several demonstrations planned for today by fans in Montreal. As it turns out, Canadiens fans are fed up and they're not going to take it anymore.

So forget about which language the coach is speaking. Here are some of the other issues that Montreal Canadiens fans are currently upset about.

• Whenever you call Montreal's 911 emergency line, the automated attendant doesn't get to "report a Boston Bruins body check" until like the third or fourth option.
  
  
• The team has refused to release details of team captain Brian Gionta's recent health issue beyond calling it a lower body injury, which on that guy doesn't really narrow it down.
  
  
• While it was nice to see them borrow our patented "stuff the ballot box to elect all your mediocre hometown players to the All-Star Game" move, foolish Senator fans forgot the part about including an unrestricted free agent for Brian Burke to overpay in the offseason.
  

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