A hockey fan's guide to Wrestlemania

This is the happiest anyone has ever
looked while wearing an Oilers jersey.

This Sunday is one of the biggest days on sports calendar, assuming you're willing to be generous with your definition of "sports". That's because it's time for another installment of Wrestlemania, the annual pay-per-view event that features the very best that the fine folks at World Wrestling Entertainment have to offer.

OK, Wrestlemania may not for everyone. But even if you're not a fan of professional wrestling, the overwhelming hype for each year's production can be hard to avoid. So if you're a hockey fan who's wondering what all the fuss is about, here's a quick guide to get you up to speed on the similarities and differences between Wrestlemania and the NHL.

Wrestlemania: If you see somebody wearing a sparkly silver jacket that spells out their name in bright flashing lights, you'll know that Chris Jericho has arrived for his match.
NHL: If you see somebody wearing a sparkly silver jacket that spells out their name in bright flashing lights, you'll know that Don Cherry has decided to wear something conservative that night.

Wrestlemania: If the crowd yells "What?" every time a person tries to speak, it's because they are using a traditional wrestling chant to attempt to interfere with the villain's train of thought.
NHL: If the crowd yells "What?" every time a person tries to speak, it's because the referee is announcing the results of the instant replay review using one of those microphones the league bought at Radio Shack in 1983.

Wrestlemania: The fans know that the fights are planned out well in advance, although everyone involved makes an effort to pretend that they're spontaneous and real.
NHL: John Tortorella and Peter DeBoer have no idea why everyone is staring at them right now.

Wrestlemania: The athletes can often be heard using catchphrases such as "Do you smell what The Rock is cooking" and "I am the Ayatollah of Rock-and-rollah".
NHL: The athletes can often be heard using catchphrases such as "We just have to take it one game at a time" and "Like I said, we just have to take it one game at a time".

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Countdown to opening night: Remaining offseason tasks for the Winnipeg Jets

And nine months later, a beautiful
leafy-airplane baby was born.

The Winnipeg Jets took their latest step in their NHL rebirth on Friday when they released their much anticipated logo. After months of speculation, fans now have a visual representation of Canada's newest team.

The logo was just the latest step in a long process that began in May when the rumoured relocation of the Atlanta Thrashers became reality. Since then the Jets have sold thousands of season tickets, announced their team name, made their first draft picks, hired a new GM and coaching staff, and resigned captain Andrew Ladd.

That's an impressive start, but there's still more to do. Getting a NHL team up and running is a daunting job, and with less than two months until training camp the Jets still have plenty of outstanding items left on their checklist. Here's a sample of some of the work the team still has to do before they hit the ice.

• Create a promotional DVD to get fans excited about young star Evander Kane, which shouldn't take long since it just needs to be a clip of the Matt Cooke fight on a 90-minute loop.
  
  
• Organize some sort of orientation for lifelong Atlanta Thrasher players who will be now dealing with issues they've never faced before such as a harsh climate, Canadian tax laws, and fans.
  
  
• Figure out some way to make ice in time for the home opener on October 9th, since every flat surface in Winnipeg isn't normally covered in several inches of ice until October 15th.
  
  
• File the paperwork to have that playground near the arena renamed "Hey Bryzgalov, enjoy getting booed and pelted with batteries in Philadelphia" Memorial Park.
  

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