We all love a good “Who says no?” trade column. Readers send
in their proposals, and writers figure out which ones makes sense, and which
teams would or wouldn’t be interested. It’s a great gimmick, which is why you
see it show up so often.
Let’s try it with a twist. I’m asking you for your trade
proposals involving anything that teams aren’t actually allowed to trade. That
is, I don’t want to hear about players or picks or signing rights or retained
salary. Instead, I want you to hit me with everything else – coaches, front
offices, mascots, media, anthem singers, you name it.
Get creative, come up with a trade you think would work for
both teams, and send it in. Then I’ll take those ideas and… actually, I don’t
know. This probably won’t work. But it would be fun if it did, so no harm in
trying.
One tip: Keep your trade offers small and specific. One team's coach for another's GM would work way better than something involving vague concepts like "Team A trades their fans to Team B for low taxes".
Update: OK seriously stop sending proposals that involve tax rates.
Email your trade proposals to dgbmailbag@gmail.com and let’s see where
this goes.
Tampa gets Montreal’s next 4 unprotected 1sts and 2nds, 70% of Bell Centre gates for the next 5 years. Montreal gets the Tampa Bay Rays.
ReplyDeleteTampa Bay Rays GM Here…. No deal unless Les Canadiens throw in their mascot Youppi.
DeleteHe is a baseball mascot. Let’s keep it that way.
NHL's most recognizable mascot needs to go play a competitor, and part with a piece of history to get better in the future. Flyers trade Gritty and the rights to the Broad Street Bullies to Florida for the rights to the future fans until 2028 and 5 tax-free years
ReplyDeleteThere have to be some hair trades (including beards and 'stashes) out there.
ReplyDeleteMinnesota receives: 20% of Toronto’s media members, Toronto’s 1967 Stanley cup win, 100% of the Toronto Marlies gate revenue, and David Ayers
ReplyDeleteToronto receives: Michael Russo, Minnesota’s hatred of Norm Green, the city of St. Paul and a Jucy Lucy
Florida receives the 2025 Stanley Cup, Canada receives a quiet media landscape free of “Foam at the Mouth” Oilers talk for 3 months.
ReplyDeleteDallas gets: Andrew Copp, Justin Holl, Tarasenko, future rights to horrible FA signings
ReplyDeleteDetroit gets: their entire scouting staff back that left with Jim Nill
Toronto Maple Leafs trade the 2021 Stanley Cup title from Tampa Bay for 25% of Scotiabank Arena, 50% of the Toronto Raptors & Larry Tanenbaum’s wallet
ReplyDeleteMaple Leafs get the ability to not be the entire focus of a hockey crazed city, the largest in an hockey crazed nation.
ReplyDeleteThe other 31 teams split the spotlight of a million suns equally for more news coverage to the average fan. And 3 more mins a week on ESPN Sportscenter.
The Toronto Maple Leafs trade and the Columbus Blue Jackets trade the entirety of their fanbases. Wonder how each teams players/media/front office would cope with the massive shift attention/popularity.
ReplyDeleteDAL receives: hosting the Minnesota State high school tournament through 2030
ReplyDeleteMIN receives: the Stars/North Stars name, mascots, colors, jerseys
I want cross sports trades. The Steelers need a long term solution to the qb position. And ovi and sid need one more shot at glory. Jayden daniels for Sid the kid. And maybe dc gets the Steelers first round pick in a couple years after Sid and ovi are gone.
ReplyDeleteNew York Rangers trade John Davidsons entire career to the Columbus Blue Jackets for the exclusive rights to use the idea of blue articles of clothing for a nickname. I’m tired of explaining why the Rangers are the Blueshirts while there’s a team called the Blue Jackets
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what Buffalo can offer but there has to be palm trees going the other way from Florida
ReplyDeleteTwo trades trade. Islanders trade 10 pies of pizza to St Louis for 10 racks of ribs.
ReplyDeleteIslanders trade 5 dozen bagels and Westhampton to Dallas for no state income tax and 5 pounds of brisket.
BUF trades Kevyn Adams and Terry Pegula to anyone for $1.
ReplyDeleteVancouver trades aquilini to dynamo Moscow in exchange for future considerations and freedom from that ownership
ReplyDeleteIf you’re OK with retconning actual signings and making them trades:
ReplyDeleteNYR trades Dan Muse and Benoit Allaire to PIT for Mike Sullivan.
MTL gets FLA winter weather
ReplyDeleteFLA gets fans who know the icing rule
Nashville trades their no state income tax rate to Toronto in exchange for more lucrative product endorcements for the players.
ReplyDeleteLeafs get Vegas's in-game operations/entertainment people. Vegas gets to become the hometown of any GTA-born player to draw them for signings.
ReplyDeleteThree way trade - Montreal sends smoked meat to NY. NY sends pizza to Toronto. Toronto sends the Hockey Hall of Fame to Montreal.
ReplyDeleteMinnesota, a younger franchise without much history or truly great moments in Wild sweaters, gets (from Dallas) the rights to North Stars, jerseys, etc.
ReplyDeleteDallas, a franchise riding high on recent success with a few more years of an open competitive window, gets (from the NHL) the Coyotes name, all branding, jerseys (kachina included)
A future Arizona franchise, gets the reassurance they aren’t tied to the downsides of the old Coyotes brand and a fresh start.
Boston sends Goaltending coach Bob Essensa to Toronto for Mitch Marner's negotiating rights
ReplyDeleteWhat are the Leafs lacking? Heart and grit. They vowed to change their DNA in the offseason. They need to disrupt their core even if it means losing some skill and finesse. TOR trades Carlton to EDM for Hunter.
ReplyDeleteCarlton is a polar bear. EDM, being the most northerly city in the NHL realizes the untapped potential here. Hunter has the characteristics that have been so elusive to the Leafs since Darcy Tucker left. Who says no?
This rights another wrong too.
DeleteThe Leafs have two #60’s. Carlton and Joe Woll.
The past playoff misery of Marner to any team for a sack of pucks
ReplyDeleteThe Blackhawks trade the Michael Jordan statue to Philadelphia for the Rocky statue. Do both teams say no?
ReplyDelete